Last day of 2008

I shook and tower and worshed my hair and got to dry it in the sun today. It was cool, but sunny. I'm going to make a meatloaf now. All we did for homeschooling was thank you notes, but this is the first year we did it 1) without tears, 2) promptly, and 3) sent one to everybody who gave him a gift. I think it's a combination of him being older now, and me not demanding it be handwritten and lengthy. I let him pick thank you e-cards from Dayspring. I told him to type up a few sentences mentioning the exact gift received and how he felt about it. His words were rather thoughtful actually and he did it with very little direction from me. I was pleased. And I also bookmarked three pages of quotations and had him choose a few that he liked and instructed him to add a quote to each note just for the ducks of it. His favorite quote from quotegarden.com turned out to be:

I feel a very unusual sensation - if it is not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude. ~Benjamin Disraeli

Boys!

Memorizing mainly

Mainly my whole point of existence today amounts to trying to memorize the next four lines in my recitation. I got the first one down, then the second one, but after I added the third and fourth I could only do the first one and flubbed up all the rest. So I made up a body movement as a muscle memory mnemonic. It helps a lot.

Our son got his first lesson in weapon safety today and I went and took notes so I can write up a test for him. I like doing that. His teacher is a friend of ours who teaches gun safety and shooting (I'm sure there's a more technical title for it) to the law enforcement officers for New Mexico State Parks. He's awesome. I could not find a better teacher and he's doing it out of the goodness of his heart.

I read that John Wayne's gravestone says “Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight, very clean. When it arrives it is perfect. It puts itself in our hands. It hopes we learned something from yesterday.” I don't think he originally said it. I can only find that it's author unknown. I like it though.

Today was a real nice day.

Pinch myself

Today we saw two coyotes sauntering down the road, big as life, like they owned it. They looked beautiful and healthy. We saw them go by to the right, then turn around and go by to the left, then run off straightaway when a pick-up truck drove by. It's a lot of sightings in one day.

Took our son to emergency tonight. We feared he had asthma, but it's allergies. He's breathing well now and it's good to know it's not asthma. I have a doctor appointment set on Friday with a pediatric allergy specialist in the city.

I, must, pinch, myself. I felt the urge to get my camera today. I'm taking it with me tomorrow for my walk. I saw a bird sitting peacefully atop a tree and the sun setting sun light shone golden on his feathers. He was watching me. Would have been a nice shot.

Walk or eat?

I had a half a turkey sandwich with cranberry sauce for lunch, but I was hungry at 4:00pm. I can't eat then. It'll ruin my dinner. I wanted to eat some cookies or Nestle's Krackle bars. I used raw willpower and instead of munching I went for a walk - 25 minutes. My husband came with me and we even jogged a bit. I felt so much better afterward and my legs felt overall good. It was cold out too. It's hard to get motivated to go outside when it's so cold

Windy, windy

Today you have the choice of reading or listening. I give you fair warning. You can read it in 60 seconds, but I yammered on for seven minutes - don't know how that happened. Haha! I said 'um' too much and I enthusiastically banged on my table a couple times, didn't even realize it, so I apologize that one of them is too loud (you hear it at 22 seconds). Onwards and upwards.

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It's duperly windy today! The men have gone to do laundry and go to Wal-mart. Hey, I've noticed on Wal-Mart's site they spell their name on the home page both with and without a hyphen. So what's up with that? Are they schizoid? Do they want a hyphen in there or not? It's easier to type without a hyphen, yet I notice the AP spells it with the hyphen.

I have the trailie alllll to myself. Ooooh. I'm home alone! I haven't been exercising for a week so that's a must. Must exercise after I write this. I'd rather do a couple hours of exercise per day than have take an Ibuprofen in the evening because I'm all achy-breaky.

At the Christmas dinner I spoke at length with a fella who has long grey hair that he wears in a pony tail. It looks really good. I've seen him before. I've noticed him on account of the hair, but have never spoken to him. I'm glad I stayed. I wanted to go home because I was so uncomfortable, but if I wait long enough usually the uncomfortableness will go away or at least lessen and it did. Besides, to grow spiritually a lot of times you have to go outside of your comfort zone. He's married like 35 years. He's 55 and got married when he was only 17 and wife, 15. I didn't ask any whys and wherefores about that! He likes photography like I do. He has three kids and three grandkids and I met one of the grands. He was a nice little boy. The wife was home preparing an extensive Christmas meal for 18 guests that included prime rib. I haven't met her. He said he really wants to go on his bike, he's a Harley man, and travel far and wide, but his wife doesn't. He asked me about Alaska and our travels and I sputtered a bit about our travels, but I am rarely wanting to talk about our travels because, well, isn't it quite dull listening to other people talk about where they've been and what they've done? Sometimes I think so. He didn't leave though, so I guess I wasn't boring enough to kill him. We got up sometimes to serve in the food line. Sadly, I have to report, the turnout for the free Christmas meal was dismal.

Our son and his friend were victims of random Christmas kindness this year. As they held the sign out front to entice people to come in and eat, a couple in a pick-up truck stopped and gave them a Christmas card. They opened it and found twenty dollars inside! They were so happy and excited and they split it 50/50. My son thought it belonged to the church and he was going to give it, but the other mom told the kids to keep it. I thought that was awful nice. I'll encourage him to tithe it, but I know he'll do it even without me telling him. Did you know, the Bible talks more on the topic of giving than about heaven and hell. I've haven't double checked it out, but that is what my pastor says. Money is important to people and you really tell a lot about someone depending on how they feel about and how they manage their money. And. You know the tithe is ten percent. Ifns you should tithe ten dollars, but you only tithe one you might want to say, "Well, I gave my one dollar and that's something." However, truth be told, yeah, you gave $1.00, but, now you've stolen $9.00 from God. Now that's something to think about.

11 dozen meeces

I got downgraded from 160 to 123 Christmas mice. Two of my jars had cherries with no stems! Drats. It took much longer than I thought to finish, I always seem to underestimate, but finish I did. We went out and looked at Christmas lights and just got back.

Merry Christmas. :)

Tomorrow the 24th

I will be making 160 chocolate covered cherry mice tomorrow for the Christmas dinner my church is doing on the 25th to serve the needy. Can I get one more prepositional phrase in that sentence? No, I can not. This photo shows the 27 I made today (that equals one jar of maraschino cherries) and I have six jars to do tomorrow! I've never made so many at once! I'll be making two big pans of candied yams too. The yams I'll bake on Christmas morning, but the mice I will prepare tomorrow and store overnight. They'll keep fine as long as they don't get warm and melt. Maybe I'll put them in the truck overnight because it's so cold out. They won't get too warm outside that's for sure, and I can't do yams and mice and volunteer all in one day. Our son is volunteering to work as a server or whatever they need him to do. I emphasized to him that it's good to ask for a specific job, but he needs to go into it with a mind and heart that he's available to do what needs to be done whatever it may be.

This year, I feel I am in the place I should be more than any other Christmas before.

Potluck

I have to hurry up and make chocolate mice. We have to be at the park potluck at noon. Making them doesn't take long but getting their ears prepared takes awhile because I have to match up almond slices.

We have big winds today! Gusts up to 65mph the weather report says and it's pushing the trailer around. Glad we're not in a smaller trailie because it can drive you mad in a little one like we had the first year here.

A first try Jackie Bun

I played with my hair today. I have been wanting some style so badly lately. The other night I stayed up really late watching this girl's hair videos on YouTube. If I wait till after 1:00am I can download to my heart's content without going over our bandwidth allowance. This gossgirl2 does Apostolic hairstyles. I didn't know they had their own hairstyles, but they are the ones who don't cut their hair according to 1Corinthians 11:15, so they have very long hair. I did what she calls a Jackie Bun and I'm thrilled with the turnout! Actually, when we've been traveling I do think I've seen Apostolic hairstyles, but I didn't know it was Apostolic hairstyles. Some of the styles are a little too staid looking, but others of them I like a lot! I have bangs and Apostolic girls don't. And I have a long face and I don't need any height on top of my head, so I don't do that part. I think they call them "poofs." I find the term "poofs" rather cute and it's so cool to have YouTube where you get to actually be in someone's house watching them do their hair. It's so one and one.

This style is easy! You put all your hair in a pony. When you pull your hair through the second time, pull only a few inches out then fan it and pin it. It will look like a big bloop on the top of your head. Okay, so you have the rest of the pony still handing down. Next take a piece of hair, not too much, and you make what I think is called a barrel roll. You wrap it around two or three fingers then pin it to your head. Do this over and over, making barrel rolls, until you have no more hair hanging down. Voila!

I'm so pleased with it. It's well distributed and feels lightweight on my head. I have no hairs tickling my face. I'm so happy. And I'm amazed that so much hair can be styled into such a small hairdo. It's an optical illusion! Also, it reminds me of my cousin Laurie's hair the way she wore it to her high school prom in 1969. She wore a beautiful blue dress and long gloves to her elbows.

Not bad for a first try and I think I can do it nicer with practice. I took the big step of buying hairspray and I sprayed my hair. I'm going to try it next time without spray to see if it'll work. I don't think mine will stay in place without spray, but I will experiment. I've tried aloe and I get no hold from aloe. Lastly, on the down side, normally I avoid pony tail holders like grim death, but I have to give a little to get a Jackie Bun. That's the way it goes.

Video link: Jackie Bun

Sat nite

Our son has a Blackberry and writes me and sends me pics from it. He's at Dad's now and sent me a pic. Dad looks worn. I ask myself whether I ought to make a visit now.

My sweet daughter-in-law got bangs. And she doesn't like them!

Husband and I walked today. It was nice. On March 29th there's going to be a Bataan Death March memorial walk, 15.2 miles, and we're toying with the idea of signing up. My husband has an uncle who died in the Bataan Death March. My grandfather avoided the march, barely, but died on the Oryoku Maru.

I didn't do my hair today! Darn it. I just didn't have the hair-fixing-bug today. Patches the Scary Dog licked my hair though. I love Patches. I might need to wash it before church, but I'll probably do as usual and just rush around in the last 15 minutes and throw my hair up in a Ficcare. When I was young we had to look nice for church. Now I am old and I wear a jeans and an oversized flannel to church. I think I have the best pastor in all the world here. He always wears a dress shirt, a tie, and dress jacket on Sundays. Someday I might start wearing skirts all the time. Or maybe skirts all the time to church. I tape the sermon on my whoop-dee-doo sound recorder then download it to my iPod and I listen to it at night all week as I go to sleep. Even though I hang on his every word, when I listen to it through the week I hear things I missed on Sunday. Funny, huh? Not funny haha, but just interesting.

My boy gave me a lecture tonight. Ever been lectured by an 11-year-old? Sheesh. I accidentally called Charlie (he's a dog who lives with Patches) a noodlehead. I know, how mean. I shouldn't have said it. My child stopped what he was doing and looked at me as if I'd just spit out a four lettered word. But Charlie is a dumb dog. He's dumb as a rock. My esteemed child instructed me on loving both dogs equally even if one is dumber than the other. He said Charlie wants my love and we've been asked by the family to care for both dogs, and the cats, while they're on vacation, so we must treat the dogs equally. And he told me I have to say good-bye to Charlie and pet him on the ears just the same as I do Patches. He's a good son. It can be irritating to have my teaching come back at me when I don't want to hear it though!

Such a ditz

I need a new shampoo. I'm out of Giovanni. Today my son and I went to Walmart. I need him with me because he knows where everything is and also my eyes get so dry there for some reason. I spent maybe an hour in one aisle, the shampoo aisle. I do hate shopping for shampoos. They're all so alike. Finally I picked one. It was purple. That's the best I can remember about it. It was purple and I liked the smell. Maybe it was Suave Orchid. It had sulfates in it and I couldn't find a shampoo that didn't. So next I decided I needed hairspray because I want to try a hairstyle tomorrow. I spent an hour last night looking at this Apostolic girl's hairstyle videos. Some of her styles were a bit on the strange side, but a couple were kind of funky cool and I thought I'd play around and try to follow her instructions. She makes a lot of what she called, I think, barrel rolls. I bought Rave hairspray because I thought it smelled good and the Apostolic girl used hairspray so I need some. I haven't touched hairspray in years. I thought it smelled good in the store but who knows, on my hair it may smell altogether different. So next I bought a travel size of super hair gel. What the hey. Maybe it'll give me sleek sides when I wear a bun. The wind has been so strong and I look like like a crazy science professor when I come in from the wind sometimes.

All the time I spent pacing the shampoo aisle and reading tiny ingredients, and. . . .

And I somehow left the bottle on the shelf. I didn't put it in my basket. I checked my receipt and I didn't buy any shampoo. Serenity NOW! I ended up using the Herbal Essence shampoo I bought last week that left me unimpressed.

I also bought a travel size of spray perfume. One spritz on my wrist and I was coughing for ten minutes. It wasn't my most successful shopping trip.

Friday

Later today we're going to Walmart to buy candy to make candy trains. Hopefully.

Christmas Craft: Candy Trains

A day

I forgot to say that our son got his picture in the newspaper on Friday. That was kind of a thrill.

Today was a pretty normal day.

My husband did order some new tennis shoes for me. I suppose that's something. I made a big mistake and threw my old ones away because they were ugly! I replaced them with some cute P.F. Flyers which proceeded to hurt my feet - not one of my wisest moves especially since I made a big deal about walking over to the trash can to throw away the ugly ones. I do that a lot. It's my M.O. (modus operandi). But he made me suffer with my fashionable painful shoes for three months. I didn't have the nerve to ask for a new pair. I had the old ones for like five long years! Isn't there a time limit or something.

My new ones have purple lines on them. I think I'll be able to walk really fast in them. Hahahaha!

Backwards is the new frontwards

It's Liliana's super duper fashion tips tonight!

It is troublesome to me when I go shopping and all the cute tops I like are cut down to the navel. Well, practically to the navel! Might as well be the navel! When my 11-year-old son tells me at the dinner table, "Mamma, that top is too low," then Houston, we have a problem.

So I hit on a great idea. I wear my tops backwards! It works. Nobody thinks I'm weird. I will even post photos to give you proof that it works. These two tops are both awful low cut. But when I wear them backwards they're high cut and they're kind of cute showing some back. I think so anyways.

Remember. When everyone's wearing their tops backwards, you heard it here first. I used to live in L.A. and I can still rock the fashion (sometimes). Just make sure it's a knit top, no darts, because you don't want to look like you have, uh, heavenly endowments or two puffy places sticking out of your back instead of your front.

44"

I'm doing my January 1st post today. I hit 44" and this here is probably my whole month's growth. I don't think it'll grow much beyond 44" between now and January 1st, 2009. Today I washed it with my husband's supercilious cheapy-deep shampoo that contains all the ingredients I normally avoid like the plague, but I really wanted my hair to smell nice so that's why I used it. Then I blow dried it. Yes, indeedy, in a couple cycles of five to ten minutes each. And I applied a smidgen of Kara's leave-in to the length. And wonder of wonders, then it was quite amenable to being photographed. Here is me fretting in my shaky, small voice saying, "Ooooh, does my hair looks okay."

And here's one from the front. When I stand real straight with my arms straight down I'm pretty sure I'm barely fingertip length.

My knees sure look far away.

Finally, a scarf I like

I've been wanting a scarf for my hair for the longest time. I found one! It's long and thin and purple. I put my hair in a pony and wove the scarf in a braid as one of three strands, put in about three bobby pins, and voila! It's stays and feels secure and has a nice shape. I haven't done a new hairstyle in a billion years. It's tricky getting the large bobby pins in without damaging the scarf. Takes a few tries sometimes, but I've had success with it.

News of the day

I heard on the news today the economy has gotten so bad that vegetarians are eating their Chia Pets!

Sun. night

All those luminarias we set out, but it was too windy to light them. Even so, there was an excellent turnout of people. Our son got his picture in the newspaper. It was in the low 50s so the night wasn't very cold. The fireworks show was as good or better than July 4th!

Luminaria

Tomorrow is the big 2008 Luminaria. I will be there at 10:00am to help with setting out some of the 4,000 luminarias along the road and paths. I love doing Luminaria Night. At about 4:30pm I go out again to help with lighting them. There's a potential problem. Weather might be coming! Oh no! There's a cold wind predicted at 30mph and if winds are 30mph there will probably be occasional gusts even higher. It's so quiet right now that it's hard to believe there will be any wind tomorrow. If winds are too high we cannot light the luminarias because the bags will burn up or the candles will be blown out by the winds.

I handmade, well, computer handmade, two thank you cards and the volunteer coordinator and other park people signed them today. Students from the Christian private school, and also one homeschooling family that has five kids, came to the park and helped us fill bags on Wednesday. I made cards for both of them to be sure they know they're appreciated. We finished the work in record time because of the kids! They were such a big help and they worked so hard. Many hands make for light work. The first year we worked here it took us five hours to fill the luminarias with sand. This year it took 90 minutes!

Grahams

I was thinking. . . . graham crackers are a feminine food. I can't think of any men who eat graham crackers.

I did know a man who ate them once. It was my best friend's dad when I was a teen. I thought he was a little effeminate. A little. I mean, he was mostly a manly man, but I did think he was a little effeminate too, in a way, if that's possible. When I found out he ate grahams I thought it was very odd.

Audible exhalation

An audible exhalation can contain many emotions. For example, the sigh can be a sound expressing resignation or resentment, it can be a whine, it can be gleeful or joy filled. I need a "sigh" that contains all four.

Firstly, I am over my bout of hair hate. On Sunday I had an, um, hair incident. I fixed my hair in bee butt buns, four of them, so that when I'd take the buns down I'd have glorious waves throughout my hair especially for church. I had done two buns earlier in the week and happily discovered such a lovely, wavy effect they had on my tresses so I decided to do it a second time only improve on my method. Did I hear an "uh oh" out there. Yeah well. My improvement means I made four buns instead of two, I coiled them as tightly as humanly possible, and I made the buns on Friday afternoon and left them in until Sunday morning rather than just overnight.

Guess what. I couldn't get my hair unraveled. It was brutal. I almost needed to dial 911. I tried to uncoil the hair on the ends and move upwards but it would make a big rat. I tried to uncoil from the top and move downwards but it turned into another rat. I had rats on the top and the bottom with a coil in the middle. The top of my hair by my face was a giant fuzzball on one side. I was really upset! My heart was racing. I thought of the girl who tried flour and water as a hair treatment and how her dad spent hours with her with her uber long hair in the bath tub trying to peel and wash it out. Flour and water are like glue when it dries, ya know. She didn't know.

I tried to be patient. I told myself all I needed to do was stay calm and work it through, but the more I worked it the worse it got. I wet my hair. It didn't help. Yikes, I worried to myself. I could NOT get the coils undone. I wound it too tiiiight! I looked like Medusa. I couldn't go to church lookin' like Medusa. I wet it again and this time slathered conditioner all over hoping it would help, dipped my head in the tub, and magically, it swooshed apart with the conditioner. Never have I been so relieved. By then it was a half an hour after church started. I didn't make it to church at all. My son told our friends I missed church because of my hairdo which I imagine caused a few expressions of puzzlement. My husband took him to church while I struggled with my hair. Our son hates missing church.

So that's my story on there. I tore some of my hair in the one front section and I could hear it, like a plant screaming, for days. They say plants scream when they're killed.

But I've been having a time with the blahs of late. It's not a big case of the blahs, but just a little wheedling case. I love to do Advent and I'm doing a fair job there, but not with much else. I haven't wanted to sew or quilt or photograph or knit or bead or do anything. So what's my problem? What my major malfunction as they say. Without a tad bit of introspection these things can have a snowball effect, so the only way around it is straight through.

I'm not in a ballet or modern dance class and I wish I was. This town is so small that the woman who got the divorce was pushed out of her business - money troubles - and she's not teaching at all now. I wish I was in a general educational class like Helen - a university level course with quality teaching with human persons in attendance sitting in real desks having real discussions. And another person just today told me I'm so funny I should publish my writing. I told her, as we all know, I'm not really funny. Let's see, what else am I dissatisfied with? My prayer life. I am especially drawn to intercessory prayer, but I'm getting so many for people in such need that I feel sad. I feel heartbroken. I think I must be weak. I keep praying because I'm driven to, but shouldn't I be stronger. Why do I feel worn when I'm praying in the name of the Lord. That's all the self-disappointments I can think of for now.

On the up side I'm doing well on my big memorization project and it's given me a small dash of confidence. I've almost got two pages memorized which will be 50% done. I like belting it out. I belted it out today at the Senior Center because no one was there except me. I got on the stage and the acoustics in the building are great, like an empty library, and my voice reverberated. I was very impressed with myself. Hahaha! It's good to yell sometimes, especially good for quiet people.

With my new found memorization confidence I decided to watch a choreography on YouTube and learn it. To do that, first I had to figure out how to download YouTube videos then convert them to .wmv or iPod format. It took me a couple days, but I finally figgered it out. I found a couple new songs I like and I downloaded two dances and think I'll blend steps from the two. On one dance she's giving step-by-step instructions, but on the second video the guy and girl are just dancing and it's harder to break down. I don't have a wide hip-hop vocabulary so the second vid is harder to decipher too.

My best news is I finally received my boombox, the one I ordered on November 1 and had to return due to speaker rattle. It's an IM7 by Altec Lansing. I don't know why, but the price on it has gone up fully $100.00 since I purchased it. I paid $146.00 and it's $250.00 now. Incredible. I wonder if the price will fall as quickly as it went up. I don't understand why it's more expensive instead of less expensive. As I opened it and put it all together (which took a good ten minutes) my hands were perspiring. I was so afraid I'd get another bum unit and have to send it back. Well, it's not a bum unit. It's a bumping good portable audio system. It's has two four inch side firing sub-woofers and that's what makes it so bumping. I love bass and I also love saying "two four inch side firing sub-woofers." I feel very masculine when I say that. Rawr!

I just have to remember that I am doing what God intended for me to do in this season of my life. Homeschooling is my center and in only seven years when the young 'un is 18 I'll be starting a new chapter whether I like it or not. I should know by now that I shouldn't rush a chapter yet here I am pining for something I haven't got when everything is mighty fine as it is. It's the human condition I suppose.

Oh, one last thing. When my hair was a wreck and I was in a tizzy on Sunday about what to do, my husband offered, offered, to take a picture of my hair. Is there an emoticon for me?

I missed church

BECAUSE OF MY HAIR!

Is it a day?

I'm so groggy. I'm going to have to act cheerful and then the cheerfulness will catch me and I will accidentally really be cheerful. A friend dropped off some kind of power drink for me. She said it will be good for me. She called it "slime." It doesn't look very appetizing.

Yesterday our son especially liked our Bible study. I did two in one because we needed them now. One topic was MySpace and the other was tattoos.

Tragedy

Our friend's mother's boyfriend died suddenly last night. A blood clot. We went over and she had a house full of family. I was surprised we were included with this intimate group. Everyone ate, and hugged, and laughed, all punctuated by tears and the knowing; knowing that nothing softens waking in the morning alone. Everything is changed in their family.

Tuckered out

Oh my, I took a shower and afterward I was plum tuckered out. Somebody must be praying for me. I think, I say it very quietly, I think I am not going to get the coughs! Happy, happy, joy, joy! It's been a mean virus. I didn't know there was such a mean virus on the loose. It's just a head cold, but it'll put you right down.

I put my vanilla soy milk in the micro for 30 seconds so it'd be warmed up. Yesterday and the day before when I drank it cold it gave me a chill and it took me forever to get warmed back up.

And I went for a walk today. Told my husband I have to get out for a bit. It's sunny and cool and by the time we got home I was hot and perspiring. While we were out walking my husband said my hair is really getting long. That's twice he's said that in a week.

I was supposed to lead dance class today but had to cancel, so there's no class. I couldn't get through an hour and a half of movement and my voice is low so I can't be using it too much. Shoot, there's no wiggle in these hips today, no way. I'm going to be all out of shape now and have to work back up to my routine.

Tomorrow I'll get back on the horse and it'll be a regular homeschool day. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

We didn't even do Advent last night because I was in bed sleeping at dinnertime. Everyone had to fend for themselves and make their own meal.

Well

My dad is doing altogether well and the surgery went swimmingly. Hooray!

My husband is sicker than I am. I guess we're getting better but our hair is messed up. His is growing out from a buzz so it's sticking up like fuzzy baby's hair and it's smooshed down in different directions.

Our son finished the book The Christmas Sweater on his own and is doing a book report on it. He said the ending is "astounding." Hmmm. I can't wait for us to finish it. We're on chapter six.

I'm going to bed. My computer screen is too bright for my eyes. I made our son write a half a page about Andrew Carnegie's life because I had not the voice nor the gumption to be a teacher today. He was reasonably amenable because he knew I didn't feel well, but at the end he got a bit of 'tude and I said, "If you wanna make things difficult, I can make things difficult for you," and his attitude dissipated instantly. Am I that scary?

I got an interesting invitation from our homeschooling curriculum company. They've inquired as to whether I'm interested in participating in an online discussion with homeschoolers nationwide during three days in mid-December. They said if I will agree to participate for 30 minutes each day they'll compensate me with $100.00. If I'll agree. If I'll agree? I'll agree multiple times if they want! Gimme the sign-up sheet!

Headcold

We're out of commission. My head hurts, the skin on my face hurts, my sinuses hurt, my eyes are itchy and watery, and my nose is either stuffy or runny. My husband and I got sick at the same time. He's such a trooper. He just went to Wal-Mart to buy tissues and a chicken. I need to make chicken soup. I'm ever so much looking forward to standing in the kitchen and shredding a chicken for 30 or 40 minutes. Not.

I'm appreciating having an 11-year-old son who can shop. I gave him the list of items to purchase so we can make a Hershey Kiss Christmas tree craft and he'll pick up those items while my husband gets the chick and the Kleenex.

Tonight we light the first candle of Advent. The Prophecy candle. Why do I have to be a mess. My hair is dirty and my eyes are all beady.

Advent on the 30th!

Advent! Advent! Advent is almost here. I love the season of Advent. Advent means "coming" and it's a time to prepare our hearts and reflect upon the birth of Christ. We've put our Advent wreath together, but we need the center Christ candle still. We have our Advent calendar ready. I have our Christmas song folder out and I found a new song which we're adding to our folder this year. It'll be our first hymn style song. We listened to it on YouTube and our son liked it very much. He's not a headbanger. He dislikes all my Christian headbanging music.

The hymn is called "God Be With You Till We Meet Again" and technically it's not a Christmas song, but you can sing it for Christmas. When I first wanted to do Advent I emailed with a lady and she told me that I could use birthday candles in my wreath if I wanted to; God will bless it because he knows our heart. She told me this because I was all worried about trying to do Advent for the first time and I had no idear where to start. I didn't know anyone who did Advent. She was real nice. That was back in 1999 or so. I still have my notes from that very first year and I remember (since I didn't know what I was doing) reading them to my husband, our son was a baby then, and my husband, bewildered, said, "What is this? What are you doing?" Haha! He asks me that a lot I guess. Like when I told him I wanted to homeschool our youngest son and he bellowed, "Whattya wanna do THAT for?" And here we are!

I was reading to find out why Pentecostals don't do Advent and it's because it's a tradition and they aren't into tradition. That's okay, I can still do it in my home ifns I want to and I do want to.

My husband has a sore throat and a cough and my son and I laid hands on him tonight and prayed for him and rebuked the illness from his body in the name of the Lord. My husband was real sweet and patient and I think he didn't mind. Afterwards my son hollered a lot of Glory to God! and Praise the Lord! and such, and my husband said we're going to church too much. Haha!

Besides adding a hymn to our song repertoire, this year I'm going to bake a cake, a birthday cake, to celebrate Jesus' birthday on the 25th. Yes, I read that idea tonight and the more I think of it the more I think I'll add it to our list. This is the online Advent calender I use for reference. I'm not positive whether I'll use her Bible readings yet. I'm looking for readings that suit us best. I seem to have lost the set I used last year.

And I guess I should say, yes, I do skip the first piece of bread. It's little! And more accurately, it's the second piece of bread because the first one is the heel of the bread. What I want to know is, why is that stupid little piece of bread always the single, last piece in the loaf. I think it's a little weird that the last piece of bread between the two heels always looks suspiciously identical to the little, dry one that was at the beginning of the loaf and I'm the one who gets to eat it for my morning toast and coffee. That's no coincidence!

Accusations

My husband is accusing me of always skipping the first piece of bread in a loaf. The nerve. What kind of sickie does he think I am!

All done

We ate. It was good. I said we should do this every year and my husband and son said, "Yeah!" I was pleasantly surprised the buffet had everything we like and everything traditional: candied yams, salad, green beans, rolls, mashed potatoes, turkey and stuffing. I didn't overfill my plate, I ate what I took, and didn't make a glutton of myself. Woohoo! The men just left to go watch football at Gary's. And I have the place to myself now. I plan to warm-up, stretch, dance, and do a cool down to expend these extra turkey calories.

I discovered the best tip for making a cinnamon bun the other day. I found out if you twist to form one single circle all the way around, then insert your hairstick, then twist your hair around to finish the bun, securing the very ends with a small bobby pin, it holds way more efficiently than making the entire bun and inserting the stick last which is what I always did, it didn't work well, so I never fixed my hair that way. I'm wearing my new hairstick bun style today using this method and it's been completely secure. Woohoo!

It's been cloudy and rainy and sunny today, all three. The lake is beautiful and quiet. I'd say it's mood is bright, yet calm, smooth, and slate grey. There aren't many people in the park today.

Hello to Mina all the way in Germany. My husband has been to Germany but I haven't. He went a long time ago for work.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Winter is here

Since the time change it gets dark so early. After dinner, (we eat at 6:00pm), I do my "That's My King" performance and then we do our devotional and now we've begun our official winter read aloud. I read out loud for half an hour. We're reading a book my husband picked called The Christmas Sweater. I will let you know if it's any good. We finished the first two chapters and we all like it so far, even my grumbly husband. Who, by the way, said tonight that I was a pretty woman. Hmmm. That old husband of mine. I love him.

Today I washed my hair and it came out real nice; real soft for some reason. I used my Shimmerlights shampoo by Clairol that brightens silver. I use it once every month or two and this week I felt my hair needed it. I don't like the creme rinse though. It gives me no slip. Instead, I used my regular Giovanni creme rinse. I guess it worked well. I blew it dry so it'd be pretty and straight and so I wouldn't be cold. Later I put in two braids and doubled them under. My husband said my hair is so long and he didn't know how I managed to take care of all this hair. I told him I am patient. It's only grown 1/8th of an inch this month but I'm so pleased with the length that I'm not too upset. It'll grow more when it's ready I suppose.

And I wore a sweater that I like but never wear. I wore it because I bought a new, cool brassiere that has built-in lace across the front to wear with low cut tops. It's black and I wore it with my black sweater and it looks quite nice, as if they were made for each other. Even my son said so. I try to dress modestly but I am still tossing out tops that are too low. Welp, I'm a work in progress I guess. Yesterday I tossed out my tip top favorite tie-dyed purple top. I think it's stretched out some and it got pulled to one side and wow, it was really too much. I put it in Mr. Trash. Awhile back I wore a top with a bit of a low 'V' and my 11 year old chided me, "Mamma, that top is too low cut." Dang, what do I have, a chaperone? So I don't wear it. In fact now that I think of it that sweater is just like this sweater top. Maybe my new brassiere will go with it too! I tried the tank tops underneath kind of style, but I felt so all bound up in clothing and my waist gets lost.

My dad is in the hospital. His heart keeps beating too fast. We hoped he'd be home today but at 7:00pm he had an episode, so he will stay at least another day. He's scheduled for another ablation next Thursday. It worries me. It worries us all.

We sent our eldest son and his wife a gift for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We sent them a couple thousand dollars. My husband was worried for them. They seem to be keeping their heads above water even with the wife home with the baby and they put the money away in a college fund for baby Lilyana. I pray they will be okay. Our son works in the automotive industry. Yeah, I'm prayin' double time.

I was thinkin', what am I thankful for. A lot. But one thing I thought of that I hadn't thought of for a long time is that I'm thankful I can drink down a big, full glass of water or milk. A long time ago I was on a ventilator and then after it was taken off of me I had to blow on these blue water bottles to build up my lungs. I would try and try to blow and move the water from one bottle to the other, but it was hard. I absolutely hated those blow bottle exercises. I hated when the nurses or my family would hand them to me and tell me to do it. And I couldn't cough. They'd tell me,"cough." I just couldn't muster up a cough. I'd say, "Cough so I can hear one and copy you." but still I couldn't muster a decent cough. I couldn't take big drinks. Only little swallows.

Months later when I got well and I could walk, then walk fast, then jog, I was happy. I was 17. When I got thirsty I would pour myself a tall glass of water. I would look at the glass of water. I would stare into it good and long, holding it in front of me, or looking at it as it sat on the counter with the light passing through the glass. I could see the water sparkles and droplets on the side of the glass in bright light. Water in a tall glass. And I would think; I would know that I could drink it all down in one long drink. I'd study it. I'd anticipate it. I'd consider how delicious it would taste and how satisfying the sensation of water flowing down my throat would be. I'd think about how I couldn't do it before, but I'd think to myself - I can do it now. Then I'd tip it to my lips and drink! I'd revel in the cool wet passing my lips, the fast stream of water passing over my tongue and gushing down the back of my throat with a continuous gulp! gulp! gulp!, and the long river of water swishing down into my stomach. I'd drink it all the way down to the last drop. And I'd feel quite accomplished when I was done!

I still think that way sometimes when I look at a glass of water, even a short glass. But time is passing and I'm forgetting the high notes. They are not so sharp, or crisp, or clear. I'm thankful I can drink a big glass of water and that I have a body that wants to drink a big glass of water. When you're sick you have an IV and drinking a glass of water is not something that matters.

Still good

I don't know why I'm happy, but I am. I might be accidentally getting the spirit of Thanksgiving. Generally I would wish to jump clean over the rest of this year and land directly on January 2nd. Our son has decorated up the trailie inside and outside for Christmas already. He's a decorator from the git-go. We don't know where he picked it up from because husband and I never have done much decorating. Well, when we had a house we did get excited about putting up lights outside. I told my husband each year, "Look at the Burton's lights, we need more lights like the Burton's!" Haha! It was fun. We never did get as many as the Burton's. They rocked the lights.

We're going to go to a Thanksgiving buffet at a restaurant this year. I've always wanted to go to a restaurant for Thanksgiving. I hope it's good. I was going to cook, cook small that is, but our fridge is too full with leftovers. I have no space for even a small bird. It only holds up to three days of food. I will cook some other time. We're going to our friend's house on Friday with his family.

I've been thinking of adding a verse like Kathryn and Jules are. I don't know if I can do one every day, but I like seeing ones I have never read before. This is the one on my mind today. Of course, you have to read it fully in context all the way to verse 16 to comprehend its meaning, but John 14:2 is nice.

In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

A good day

It's only three and it's a great day. I did a bible study about mansions, aka dwelling place, aka rooms, for our last class that my son and I profited from greatly. I am refreshed!

Tuesday morning night

I should be in bed. My feet are cold too. I downloaded the trial version of Homesite so I could update an old web site of mine. I updated almost every page. It's always bugged me that it's all in HTML. I feel it should be revamped with CSS, Cascading Style Sheets, but I had such trouble a few years ago getting them to work that I quit. I haven't updated the site since 2002. Talk about dead links. So many of them that used to offer free homeschooling help have turned into business sites. That's lame. Now the links page looks like someone shot a bunch of holes through it. I'll have to search for useful links to replace them.

When we sold the house I put all my web sites on CD since we couldn't take the desktop with us in our (then) very little trailer in 2005. Viewing the old CD made me see how much I've changed in the past three years. I was appalled at my own self as I looked over my old graphics. I am so grateful for the One who called me out of the darkness and into the light. You know, you can't repent of something that you don't think is wrong. Two of my old sites are still up, the good content ones. The other two I did take down several years ago but they look so much worse to me now, seeing them with fresh eyes. Did I ever say that I have a small gift for designing adult oriented web sites. Mmmmm. I may have left that out. Well, when people started wanting to pay me to make them an outright pornographic (literature) site, it gave me pause for thought. I paused. I didn't do it. But I didn't take down my sites right away either. Eventually, praise God for opening my eyes, I did delete them. The Lord convicted my heart and I wanted to be worthy of the company I wanted to be in. The enemy will use people's gifts to get hold of them. I also liked the hits. You know, how many visitors come to a site. One of mine got up to 1300 per day. 'Tis a hollow addiction.

But now, I'm satisfied with ten because the ten I get are good. I should put something scriptural here, but I'm plum out of eloquence tonight. I'm just plain. I think - I like to think - that God might be pleased with me, just a little bit, tonight. I'm inspired to work on myself to serve the Lord.

Also today, we went to Cruces and I got a bunch of new undergarments. They are my undergarments for the year. And I got one new pair of blue jeans. My pair that I hate because they stretch and then hang off my bum are in the trash and I threw them away with great drama. Good-bye pants I hate!

But now I only have two pair of blue jean pants.

Leepy

I'm sleepy, as in leepy, and tired. We say 'leepy' instead of sleepy in our family sometimes.

Gravity

A little blue now. My friend will be going into the hospital for a month. The gravity of the leukemia really hits me tonight. I did some of my own research on it after dinner and the getting better part isn't what I expected. It's less than I expected and I'm afraid to say it out loud, but she must already know it too.

It's not right. She's barely turned 31.

Uh-oh

All I did was write a post. What happened to my layout? Eep.

Whew. It's back. Thank-YEW!

Memorization job

Progress is being made. I do it for my family once through every night after dinner, but the men went to watch football tonight so I got to practice by myself for two hours. I have the first page memorized! There are four pages in all. I'm so proud. Here's how much I know by heart.

The Bible says
He's the King of the Jews. (say each slowly and thoughtfully)
He's the King of Israel.
He's the King of Righteousness. (emphasize the 'r')
He's the King of the Ages.
He's the King of Heaven. (speed up)
He's the King of Glory.
He's the King of Kings.
And He is the Lord of Lords. (I say this loudest with my arms outstretched)

Now that's my King! Do you know Him? (I added the second sentence from another version. I think it draws the listener in.)

David says
The Heavens declare the glory of God (big heaven with hands)
And the firmament showeth His handiwork (point to ground)
No means of measure can define His limitless love (pinch fingers together for 'define')
No far seeing telescope can bring into visibility the coastline of His shoreless supply (pretend telescope in my hands)
No barriers can hinder Him from pouring out His blessing (arms crossed, palms open)

(These six lines are my weak spot.)
He’s enduringly strong (on my knees, hands in strong fists)
He’s entirely sincere (stretch arms and hands open)
He’s eternally steadfast (stand up, fists to side)
He’s immortally graceful (wavy arms)
He’s imperially powerful (one arm bent, then other, pump it to side with a fist)
He’s impartially merciful (open arms wide, palms up)

That’s my King!

He’s God’s Son (I say this a little quieter)
He’s the sinners’ Saviour (arms out to side, like a cross)
He’s the centrepiece of civilisation
He stands alone in Himself (loud)
He’s august (point, get excited when I say each of next six single words, angling body r & l)
He’s unique

Okay these I learned just tonight but I have to wait till tomorrow night to see if technically I remember them:

He’s unparalleled
He’s unprecedented
He’s supreme
He’s pre-eminent
He’s the loftiest idea in literature (palms open like a book)
He’s the highest personality in philosophy (hand goes up as if showing height)
He’s the supreme problem in higher criticism (knuckles in small circles)

I'm pretty pleased with myself that I've gotten this far.

Today I felt a lot better than yesterday with my stomach. Son took two tests. Got a B in grammar, and then got a C, which we call flunking and our curriculum calls "Need To Review," in literature. If only he'd gotten one more right and it would have been a B. Dern. But we still had a good day together.

Shoe shine man

I've had a tummy ache all day. Didn't do homeschooling or go to dance. I mostly lay around like a blob.

Our son shines boots for income. We're proud of his entrepreneurship. Sometimes people give him generous tips. He's tried several things. You may remember, once he went trailer to trailer asking if people wanted him to walk their dogs and some people slammed their door in his face and some acted like they had rocks in their head when he explained what he would do for them. You'd think they'd understand he's just kid who's trying to make some money. I was right proud that he didn't fold up. He kept pluggin' along till he found out people like to get their cowboy boots shined here in New Mexico. He earned nine dollars today. He's thrilled.

So I did a little research on shoe shining just for the ducks of it. I found a quality video I want to share. Such sage advice here, especially about bondage. It's a guy in Alabama, age 69, who shines shoes.

Playlist

Let's see. Goldberry put her Playlist on her blog. Can I?

Deuce and a half

There's a big ol', powerful truck that comes through here to pull vehicles and trucks and trailers out of the sand. They're kind of awesome. We've seen 'em pull huge, gigantic, trailers out of the sand, and during summer holidays they grumble and rumble up and down the road enjoying plenty of business. It's actually an old Army vehicle nicknamed a deuce and a half. Welp. I guess they don't do so well in the lake! Look what happened! What do you think he said? Maybe the driver said, "Oops!" or "Uh-oh!"



He helped a pick-up out of the water, but got himself stuck. Saddest thing is, one 'o the rangers was instructed to give the guy a ticket. Ranger said, "What do I cite him on?" See, there's no rules against parking it in the lake. Hahahaha! And if you check his windshield he has a park permit, clear and legal. Awwww, poor guy! I said giving him a ticket would be throwing salt on the wound. Even our most prolific ranger who gives citations out like candy on Halloween couldn't bear to write him up a ticket.

Saturday night

The Christians United For Israel meeting was good. I learned two new terms, "Righteous Gentiles" and "replacement theology." There were about 500 people in attendance. The beginning was too long, filled with far too much fluff about sister city stuff, and speakers that no one really cared about, giving out awards to people no one knows. The best speaker was the keynote speaker and he was dead last, followed only by a benediction from a pastor and a blessing from a rabbi. The beginning was so boring and long, that some people began leaving! We drove too far to leave early and good thing because the last speaker, David Brog, was worth the wait.

He began by explaining that he is the executive director of Christians United For Israel and he is not Christian. He is Jewish. He said people often assume he is a Messianic Jew (that's a Jew who believes Christ is the Son of God) or a Jew for Jesus person (that another similar group). But he's neither. He's a Jew for Judaism! The whole audience chuckled. The night was one big history lesson. He was bold even mentioning the phrase Christ killers, which I just heard in the movie Fiddler On The Roof, and the Crusades. He said that the story of the Bible is not finished. The story hasn't ended yet.

Which brings me to define replacement theology. Replacement theology has fostered anti-Semitism throughout history. He used the word so many times I actually remembered it. This is a concept which David explained affected people's thinking to such a degree that it has led to all kinds of aggression toward Jews by Christian groups. Replacement theologians say that God has rejected the Jews in the place of the Gentile Church, because the Jews failed to believe. The Church "replaces" the Jewish people because the Jews are rejected by God, no longer the chosen people. It's bogus theology. It really helped me to understand how anti-Semitism came into existence in the first place. I'd always wondered about that. I've marveled at people who hate Jews because I just don't get it.

What happened, he says, is that every instance in the Bible that says Israel, modern Christianity perceived to mean the Church, essentially kicking the Jewish people out of their own Bible. But! If you have a literal interpretation of the Bible, and I do, then Israel means I-s-r-a-e-l. And prophecy about Israel is about I-s-r-a-e-l.

Righteous Gentiles refers to the people who courageously hid and protected Jews during the Holocaust. A lady did a drama piece about Corrie ten Boom, a Christian protestant in Holland who put herself and her family in danger to hide Jews from the Nazis. The Dutch family got caught by a spy and all died except for Corrie. Even Corrie's 84 year old father was put in prison where he died in days. I've heard and read of Anne Frank but until last night I'd never heard about Corrie ten Boom. We all wonder, if we went back in time, would we be a Righteous Gentile. None of us can know, can we? But we like to hope and think we would be.

He said what happened in WWII could never happen now because the Jews aren't alone now. They have friends. Us.

They played "Hava Nagila" twice and I wanted to go down and dance but my group fairly rushed out of the building immediately after the last speaker. Boo hoo. And the 13 year old boy next to me asked me if I was Jewish because I knew most of the words. I thought he was cute. I wondered why he was staring at me so while I sang. I thought I had something wrong or something. Heh.

I got home Friday night at 1:15am. I got up at noon Friday morn and looked awful and had a headache all day. Today I felt all recovered. Today I just kicked back. We watched the first half of Cecil B. deMille's "Ten Commandments" and I'm pleased because our son is enjoying it.

Hmmm. Off to bed for me now. Have a lovely Sunday day.

Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. Paraphrased from 1John 4:4

Late, late

Am I the first one up???

Whoops

Albuquerque isn't an hour away. It's two and a half hours away! I'm distance challenged. I thought it was an hour away.

There are lots of these butterflies here lately.

Two whole students

I led dance today. It went well! Mainly I was afraid of running out of exercise warm-ups and then finishing way, way, too early. But I used up the full hour and a half. I spent about 50 minutes on warm-up and 30 minutes on dance. One lady said she liked that I went slowly and she said she felt good after class - her body was loose and limbered up. Yay! She made my day. I worked those ladies! I asked them if they were warmed up and they said "Yes!" quite enthusiastically. We did abdominal crunches so I could be sure they were sweating. Heh. I did notice that everything I did, even if I rubbed my nose, the ladies would do it too. Haha! It's much different teaching than following. It is. Preparation for teaching requires more time than I thought. As I write this I have just realized I completely forgot to do a cool down. For shame! Ack.

To prepare I wrote my plan down on paper. So I could see it without my reading glasses, I printed it with like a 28 point font. 'Tis a pity my eyes are so bad. Extremely annoying. I taught them how to develop graceful hands for their snake arms, how to do hip bumps and speed them up to a shimmy and then walk with it. That's called a walking shimmy. And lastly, camels, which are actually undulations. It went well and I'm so glad and relieved. I had a talented teacher in California or I'd never have been able to do it.

My boombox had a buzzing sound in it. The sound was great, great, great!, except for there seemed to be a loose speaker inside of it. I was incredibly disappointed. I phoned and got all the info to do an exchange. I want it real bad but if the second one is bum then that's that. I'll go to WalMart and get a $35.00 portable iPod player and cry in my soup. I wrote down the serial number just in case they try to send me the same one. Just in case. Yep.

I'm duperly looking forward to going to Albuquerque tomorrow for the Christians United for Israel meeting. It's about an hour from here and for only five bucks I'm going on the church bus with the churchity-church people. I wonder who I'll sit by. I wonder who's going. Wow, I hope it's awesome. How can it not be awesome. Whatever happens it's imperative we be on the right side of Israel. Balaam said, "I cannot curse what God has blessed." No sirree. Nobody can.

But seriously, what am I going to wear. I think I'm going to wear an ankle length, 3-tiered, black skirt and a white tunic with black embroidery and my stompalicious Doc Marten boots with cute socks. If they teach any simple dances I'm gonna run down there, or up there, or where ever they are, and join. When I went to the Messianic Synagogue in San Diego the dancers dressed modestly. They didn't even wear tight t-shirts. That's why I'm wearing that loose tunic. Not sure about my hair. Can't wear it down, too much trouble. Has to be comfy for the drive. Maybe that twisty like Kara wears or a single braid. I wear my Ficcare so much so I don't want to wear that.

Eeep

I went to bed thinking of graham crackers and milk and how nicely they would fill up my tummy. I told myself no carbo loading because I want a nice flat tum tomorrow. Then I woke up and it was not morning but the middle of the night. I ate graham crackers and milk. Then, as my son would say, I heaved a gusty sigh. (I think he read that in a book somewhere.) My willpower is nil.

But I was huuuuungry!

Kindness

I used to think that the ladies on the Christian boards went so overboard with the courtesy. It seemed so fake. To me, the verbal kindness when there was even a minute possibility of hurting someone else's feelings was so girly and artificial. Sometimes it went on to such length that it was like a ping-pong game.

But over time I got to know the women. Over time I have read hotly debated topics and I have witnessed women who have thoughtfully articulated opposing views very strongly and at the end they politely, courteously, and with humility, gave the other woman space. It used to blow me away. It is rather an art, isn't it, which requires practice. I try to follow suit now. Respect. And kindness. They help a community maintain a bond. Without them you have every other discussion board on the Web.

I'm so sensitive, I get my feelings hurt for other people. Haha!

I don't like meanness. Apologies are good though. If they're direct and humble.

Tomorrow my new boombox arrives via U.P.S. It should be at the Visitor's Center about noon. I hope it sounds good. I hope it's not a lemon. I hope it's got good bass.

I did my toenails purple with purple and magenta glitter on top. My husband said, "Pretty toes."

The day got away from me

Where did today go? I didn't do much. We did school. We had a camper come by to report he saw a wolf and claimed he got a good, long, look at it through his binoculars. Well now, a wolf sighting here would be quite remarkable. We've got coyotes, yes, but no reports of wolves. Might I add, yesterday when my husband was doing his rounds this same camper asked what kind of animal was it that had the great, big, tall, ears. It was a jackrabbit. I have to say, bless his heart, such a nice fella he was, but if he doesn't know what a jackrabbit is, can I trust he saw a wolf? And this wolf, he told us excitedly, was this tall, and he motioned practically to chest level. Lemme tell ya, that be one, big, canine roaming the New Mexico desert!

I'm reading a book. Yes, an actual, real, paper book made from a tree and not shining off my computer screen. I'm reading The Secret Garden. Super good so far. I'm half done.

I woke and first thing that popped into my mind this morning after, "Lord, how will you use me today?" was Judy. She's a camper, a full-timer, next to us. I'm guessing she's in her 60's, kind of a salty gal, says what she thinks, used to be a sixth grade teacher in New York. My heart ached for her. I don't know what happened exactly on account of she's a very private person, but her nice, beautiful, 30 foot class C (that's the kind that's a van in the front and living space in back) rig is gone and she's moved into a truck with a camper shell. It's she and her dog. She's got a nice little dog. I feel so sad because she has hardly enough space to turn around in and I thought of her waking up in there this morning and how she must feel. I don't know how she feels. She doesn't seem to be the type to dwell on feelings. That sort of thing is a bit of a pointless luxury in life, isn't it. Yes, I think so. But I feel bad for her and for whatever happened in her finances. There, but for the grace of God, go I. Go we.

So last night I took her a bowl of homemade chicken soup I had just finished making (it turned out well) and some sourdough bread. I think she really liked it. But chicken soup doesn't fix everything. I wish that it could.

I am content

I have a sense of overall well-being. Was there something in my chili today? I don't know! But my husband does make delicious chili.

The weather is cold tonight. I'm wearing one of my new SockDreams socks but I had to push them all the way down to my ankles because they felt too tight after a couple hours. Hmmm. When I wash them they will shrink if this is the woolen pair. I hope the others don't squeeze my legs. What's up with that? My legs aren't even that big either. Are women supposed to have skinny minnie thighs? I think not. The pair with the flames fit well. I wore them all night. But one of them did leave a ridge above my knee so I think I won't wear them all night anymore. I was just so pleased with them that I didn't want to take them off. Daytime wear is long enough though.

Well, I have to go to bed very soon because church is tomorrow. We have to be there at the crack of 10:00am.

To you I have this to say. Have a splendid Sunday all day and may the Lord bless you abundantly.

Oh. I have one more thing to add. We ordered two movies from Amazon.com. Do you remember these? One is The Ten Commandments with Charlton Heston, made in 1956, and the other is Clash of the Titans. We are watching Fiddler on the Roof for the second time. Such a good movie! But aren't those two older ones so awesomely memorable? I'm thinking about Moses a lot, and then in literature our son is studying the Greek myths and we just read about the hero, Perseus. I thought of Medusa getting her head chopped off and that old movie was came up in my mind instantaneously. I had to find it. Sigh. Those were the days. Okay. I hafta go to bed.

Lately

I've been thinking about American Sign Language and worship dance. I found a fantastic site - the American Sign Language Browser - that describes and shows hand signs. It's great fun. And I also found an article about praise dance in Pentecostal churches that I found fascinating. How I wish I could go to her classes.

The lady that I'm assisting, or signed up to be an assistant to, had a big headache today so we didn't do the hand motion dance to the song I Can Only Imagine that she invited me to work on with her. I think I know it now anyways, so next week I'll show her. It's a fun little worship dance. She calls it a dance but actually there's not a lot of body movement. It's all hands, arms, and a turn, and falling to our knees, and getting back up. What kind of cracks me up is, I offered to help her and last week she told me she's getting surgery so if we do it I will be the one to guide the youngsters in a performance. Whaaaat? Now tell me, what kind of assisting is that? Sounds to me just like I'll be doing it without her. Haha! Oh help me, please. Sigh. Well, I'm up for it, whatever comes of it.

I'm still working on my big memorization project. Here's how far I am:

The Bible says
He's the King of the Jews
He's the King of Israel
He's the King of Righteousness
He's the King of the Ages
He's the King of Heaven
He's the King of Glory
He's the King of Kings
And He's Lord of Lords

That's My King! Do you know him?

David says
The heavens declare the glory of God
And the firmament showeth His handiwork
No means of measure can define his limitless love
No far seeing telescope can bring into visibility the coastline of His shoreless supply
No barriers and hinder Him from pouring out His blessing

He's enduringly strong
He's entirely sincere
He's eternally steadfast

That's how much I know so far. Pretty good, huh? I'm very impressed with myself and I'm not even 1/4 the way through. Haha! Oh dear. And my child can say it faster than I can and it makes me want to bonk him on the head.

Last Wednesday at belly dance class my teacher said she only sang in the shower and I said, "Aw, c'mon, sing something." And she did! And the acoustics in the senior center complemented her voice. So then she told me to sing. Bah, I don't even know the words to any songs, I told her. Then I remembered my memorization job! I said, "I will tell you my memorization project." And guess what. I did. And I did fairly well. Only thing was I stopped breathing and had to squeeze out my last sentence. One really needs to breath in and out when one is speaking. Anyways, I was somewhat pleased because she told me it was really good. She was being nice, but still.

Israel

There's a headline at the Jerusalem Post today that says, Barak: All options open regarding Iran. Well, he did say as much throughout his campaign so that's no surprise. But with Bush in office Israel wouldn't do anything without checking with the U.S. first. With Obama in, I don't think they'll bother. If they want to take out Iran's nuclear weapon sites, they'll do it. Obama is unwittingly going to cause WWIII or a nuclear holocaust and then no amount of eloquent oratory will matter. He's such a windbag.

The media reports that all the world is happy to have an Obama president. I believe it. I think the U.S. is moving closer to being like all the rest world.

Last night I wrote a friend of mine and asked her what she thought about the Christians United For Israel group because I'm going to their meeting on the 13th. When I read her reply out loud to my husband he sat in his chair and roared with laughter. It's the only laugh I've heard from him for two whole days! My friend advised me, Go ahead and go, just listen to your gut feeling, and if they say G-d d*mn America, don't keep going for 20 years. Bwa-hahahahaha! Sublime.

Yesterday I received my new socks in the mail, six pair, over the knee, for winter, and every single pair is cute and fits me. I'm happy.

On Wednesdsay my Altec Lansing portable speaker unit for my iPod is scheduled for delivery. They are speakers, plural, but one unit, singular. I hope they sound good. I'm a semi-audiophile and oh how I miss our big speakers from home. My husband didn't want to bust loose with a couple hundred bucks for these but I explained (read that as "begged") that I wanted something with quality sound. I want bass. I need bass. I must have some bass. Portable speakers can never match anything you could get in a home sound system, but this might be as good as I can get and still be portable. Bose has something small, a hundred dollars more, but what they call portable is really not easily portable, so I crossed them off my list.

On Wednesday I'm teaching the belly dance class because our teacher will be out of town. That's why I need my own portable speakers too.

Ofra Haza

Today my teacher shared a CD with me. On it is a song by an artist named Ofra Haza. She died in 2000 at only 42 years old. She was a vastly popular Israeli singer who started out doing folk songs and also did pop. She came from a very poor family and was much loved by her country. She was multilingual.

It took me two hours of research to find the English words to this song. She's singing in Hebrew and I found the words all over the Web in Hebrew. That didn't help me at all! The words are from the Old Testament from Song of Solomon, 8:6-7. The music CD has better sound and is more beautiful because it has a little bit of echo. The video's not bad though. You can feel her music. It's an a capella which means voice only, no instruments. I had to look up "a capella" also.

I'm going on the 13th, probably, to a meeting of an organization called Christians United for Israel. Not that that has anything to do with this, but it popped into my head just now and I think I have not mentioned it.

Okay, here's the vid. Take your mind off things for a minute, step outside yourself and listen. It's only three minutes.

Set me as a seal upon thy heart,
as a seal upon thine arm;
for love is strong as death,
jealousy is cruel as the grave;
the flashes thereof are flashes of fire,
a very flame of the LORD.
Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can the floods drown it;
if a man would give all the substance of his house for love,
he would utterly be condemned.

Why did I do all those sit-ups!

I remember when Jackie Onassis died. She was such a dedicated mom and she delighted in grandmotherhood. When she got cancer (she was only 64) I read an article about her in a glossy magazine where she said, "Why did I do all those sit-ups?" It made me laugh out loud. It was so genuine and was such a silly thing. Exactly the sort of thing I may have thought of if I was her. The sit-ups kept her beautiful, vibrant, in excellent shape. Why did Jackie do all those sit-ups? Because she was driven to. Because she couldn't stop.

Like Jackie did her sit-ups, I do my praying, and I've experienced an epiphany this week. It's as if I've been dog paddling in prayer all these years and suddenly I'm gliding through glassy waters doing a beautiful side stroke! You might think dog paddle prayers are lame but they're not. With the dog paddle prayer you can pray very far, for a very long time. It's easy. Anyone can do it. It can be a life saving prayer and swimming stroke.

I travailed in it for years, entirely satisfied. But now! I can pray out loud for a full 30 minutes. I've done it this week. I practiced it at church and accomplished it with the infilling of the Holy Spirit. I can quote verses from my Bible from memory too. They come to my mind now. Get out of town, you say. No, really! As a quiet woman, I am happy I can do more than silent or only memorized prayer. Moses complained to God that he wasn't qualified to lead the children of Israel out of Egypt because he was slow of tongue and slow of thought, but Jehovah boomed, "Who hath made man's mouth? Have not I, the Lord, made man's mouth?" Well, I suppose He did.

Praying for lost souls, revival, and the election this past week I feel I've gotten the absolutely wrong reply that I sought from the Lord, yet personally my prayer life has grown exponentially. That's something! It's huge, for me anyway. The Lord is more far seeing than I am. He has a plan. We know this. So I will continue to pray knowing the answer is always going to be one of three: Yes, No, or Not Now. I am driven to pray. I cannot stop.

I have a short video I made. It's how I'm thinking today. As my little sister put it so succinctly this morning, Welp, I guess we shall see how Obama proceeds to jack everything up now. Hopefully it won't be too bad.

Fireworks

One of the rangers asked my husband this morning if there were any fireworks in our loop last night. Fireworks aren't allowed in the park.

My husband told the ranger, "Nah, the only fireworks in our loop was Liliana having a drink and crying all night."

Husbands. Why I oughta!

Liliana is not happy

I suppose the Senate will have its hands full for the next four years. I'm still waiting to hear whether Proposition 8 to ban same-s*x marriage in California has passed. Looks like it might. That'll be a bright spot for today at least.

Maybe Sarah in four years.

My husband has been super quiet all day. I thought he was mad at me but he's not.

I'm sure Obama will say anything he can't fix is Bush's fault and Obama won't take responsibility for anything. They never have. And if anyone could ever buy a presidency, Obama has. They've got to look into that. Where did all his money come from?

Think I'll go lie down and have a good cry. I'm stunned. The densely populated regions wiped McCain out in the electoral college.

Well, life goes on, eh?

See you on the flip-side.

(Note: I was gonna go have a lil' cry and be done with it, but I don't feel like it now. Now I feel disgusted! Maybe I'm going to go through Kübler-Ross' Five Stages of Grief.)

Liliana is chill

We're starting hsing in a few minutes. I'm going to keep my nose off the news sites for the day. I'm chill. Waiting. Won't sit idle. I'll be praying, reading my Bible (mainly about Moses and the children of Israel today). I'm excited in my bones. My husband isn't excited at all. He's out cleaning camp sites right now.

A whole family of raccoons, four of them, ran across the road in front of me on my way home from church last night. Raccoons are so cute. They're smart too.

Today is very windy.

I wish I was in Wasilla, Alaska today!

Make sure yer gun is clean

If Obama loses

make sure yer gun is clean

and your ammo dry!

A buncha new socks

I ordered about five or six pairs of over the knee socks for winter. They're going to go with my black Doc Marten boots. They haven't mailed them to me yet. If you like cute sockies look at these.

Here's one pair I bought at Sock Dreams.

Pre-election prayer day set

They're expecting up to 70,000 in the stadium at Qualcomm Stadium (was called Murphy's Stadium when I was young) in my hometown tomorrow for fasting and prayer. California has Proposition 8 on the ballot to ban h*m*s*x**l marriage in the state. My friend's pastor isn't performing any marriage ceremonies at all, and many other pastors he knows are not doing them in California because they're afraid they could face legal action for refusing to marry h*m*s*x**ls. Also, if g*y marriage is not repealed many people are afraid teachers will have to teach it in schools, but no one knows for sure.

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/metro/20081030-9999-1m30call.html

I'm going to fast with them tomorrow from 10am to 10pm. I'm going to drink liquids only. I won't go all the way to 10pm if I can't hack it though.

What is the world coming to?

Last night my child told me I need to work on my self-esteem. Whaaat? Where in the world did he hear that? I'm nearly 50 years old and I need this from the child of my own womb?

After prayer last night I stayed and listened to the choir do their practice and they sang two of my favorite songs, two of the few that I actually know 90% of the lyrics. I walked out of the sanctuary to the drinking fountain and as I was about to push the double doors I hear Pastor call out from stage in between songs, "Liliana, do you want to sing with the choir?" I nodded "no thank you." One, I didn't know he knew my name, and two, I can't sing. He's seen me sing. That doesn't mean I can sing. I can belt it out is all. I don't sound like Helen. Oh that Helen. Her voice is so pretty, transcendent, it takes me to another place. And that's what I said to my family at home. I can't sing and I sure don't sound like Helen. That's when youngest son popped up with his little pearl of wisdom.

I guess it could go on my headstone, "Here lies Lil, poor thing never did find self-esteem."

This really makes me mad.

A day

Magnify your wonderful name, Lord!

It's a good day today. Finally, this day, I have finished reading Deuteronomy. I was the least dedicated to reading this book than the first four and so it took me the longest. It seems to me that Moses wrote a book of review for everything Jehovah and the Hebrews did in the other books. I have now completed the first five books of the Old Testament, known as the Torah in Judaism. Next I'll be reading Joshua. I know zip, absolutely nothing, about Joshua. I'm happy to be starting a new book. I've been doing daily devotion pretty well but I must start a clean slate with my Bible reading.

We finished hsing an hour early. Tomorrow is his history test. Yesterday he aced his grammar test. He got a C on science today and we went over it and realized it could have been a nice B had he read the questions thoroughly. Boys.

Let the spirit of the Lord blow across America and I pray for revival and restoration for the USA as a Christian nation. Blessed be the name of the Lord, the one and only Living God. Give us victory over those who seek to destroy the foundation established by our founding fathers. Let the enemy be confounded in the name of Jesus. Deliver us from evil. God, bless America with revival. Forgive us as a nation for turning from Your Word. We are desperate for you. We love you and we worship you. You say we have not because we ask not. We're asking Lord! We're asking! And we ask it in the name of your precious son, Jesus. Amen. (Amen means "so be it.")

Magnify your holy name, dear Lord. How great is our God!

:)

Did you hear me catch me breath? I had to slow my heart down. I didn't know I could click on the Followers words link. I didn't know what it meant exactly and I thought it was anonymous. I clicked it and then I saw two Followers and I can even add them to my sidebar, so I did. I love Blogspot.

I am happy.

Two is a very good number. Two of the prettiest women I know, inside and out.

Sliding salmon

Our church is praying fervently for America and for the election every night between now and Tuesday. I'm starting to pray out loud some too. Purty good, yep. It's a slow process, but I'm making progress.

I tried to download free software to edit my .wav files tonight but Vista is giving me problems. It won't let me download anything, not even a font. Quite. Irritating.

And I wore my hair in an imitation crown braid. It looks fairly good but I started one single braid on the side of my head so the two sides don't look identical. I might work on it to see what I can do differently.

My husband barbecued salmon tonight. He turned to hand me the plate and one of the two pieces of fish slid off the plate and onto the ground, that is, in the sand. Irretrievable. And guess what. He didn't say any bad words! Woohoo! Shocking, I know. Perhaps I am having an effect upon him. We can hope.

I'm still working on my memorization project. I've been stuck three days on "No means of measure can define his limitless love." I can't seem to get it from my brain to my mouth. It's scrambled eggs.

RCA Digital Voice Recorder

I bought one today for about $35.00. I've been wanting to record my pastor's sermons so I can listen to them more than once and also to review the sections where I could not write fast enough.

It took me 30 minutes to edit tonight's prayer meeting audio (I took out a lot of hallelujahs and stuff) then it took me another half hour to figure out how to convert it to .wmv so I could import it into iTunes. I'm gonna synchronize my iPod right after I write this and go to bed and listen to it! I edited it in Windows Movie Maker which was a mistake. I'll have to check the software that came with it to see if I can edit it there so I don't have to do so much converting. It's such a fun little new toy! I was going to get a regular recorder like I had in college eons ago but this one was only five bucks more and I can download the sound files to my computer. Cool, huh? And it comes with its own USB connector. Isn't that nice? I really need another USB port connector in the trailer. Not. It operates on two AAA batteries, is lightweight and small, and at high quality will store 18 hours of yapping. Most excellent techie toy I say. At standard quality you can store 140 hours of yapping!

We prayed for our country and the election tonight at church. About 15 people attended and there was a lot of loud praying going on. Our son went with me and I was proud of him. He was the only child prayer there and he didn't just sit and keep his seat warm. I wonder if he'll go again. I didn't invite him, he asked to go. I hope he will take up my praying where I leave off when I die, er, expire. We've only spotted a couple Obama signs in town so I guess the Obama people are all in Northern New Mexico. We are praying for God to work in a supernatural way at the polls.

Our computer connection has been poor all day, waiting and waiting for a single page to load, and it's still slow tonight. I couldn't even get online till noon.

I called my sister and chatted for a few minutes today. She said we need to talk more often. She said it real matter-of-fact as if she was the older sister. She's not the older sister, I am. She's a little sister.

My husband bought me a new electric blanket. Sunbeam makes kind of junky products. This is the second blanket I've had that stopped getting hot enough. I put it on high and it's barely warm. I tried to get a refund at Wal-Mart but no luck. I had the receipt too! It's one year old almost to the day. It has a five year warranty but it's a limited warranty. See that little, old, word "limited" is the fly in the ointment. I asked for a manager and he too told me that I'd have to return it to the manufacturer. He said Wal-Mart's refund policy is only for the first 90 days. That's a pain in my patoot.

I wanna say hi to MaeDean.

Hi MaeDean whom I met in Wyoming. :)