Monday, August 30, 2010

Into a house

I cannot believe a major life change is happening in only one more day. We love this trailer, but we will be in a house. On Wednesday we'll be. . . house people again.

I am not sad or blue. Actually I feel excited. The guidance of the Holy Spirit is unmistakable. I'm sure it's the right thing for us to do. Rarely in my life am I sure about anything.

DSL. We'll having screaming fast DSL in the house! And a land line with unlimited phone calls. I told my husband I want a dial phone and at first he said why and I reminded him of one of our worst fights ever. Really, it wasn't a fight. More accurately I'd say it was an ugly scene. And it was only one minute, but minutes make memories. I never said a word.

My husband has big fingers and always, seriously, he's always missing the correct buttons on the stupid cell phones and hand held phones. One day my dad phoned and husband picked up the phone and thought it wasn't working. He had messed up and touched something so that my dad could hear him, but he couldn't tell my dad was on the line. So husband hung up, he hollered up one side of me and down the other about what I did to the phone. I didn't do anything to the phone! ...And my dad was actually still on the line and heard everything. In under 60 seconds an important relationship was damaged. I felt a little bad about what my husband said to me, but I know my husband's temper. It flares quickly and fades quickly.

But my dad doesn't know my husband like I do. He took offense on my behalf. I appreciated it. I love my dad. However sometimes it's best to leave things between and husband and wife alone. So next my husband took offense to my dad's sarcasm then it was pretty much a mess for several long years. Husband wouldn't talk with my pop for a long time. They were both mad. Now they've made up. Our son's verbal persuasion was the motivating force and his persuasiveness softened my husband's heart. I was very proud of our son. Words matter. Knowing how to use words is a useful skill. Being a pest doesn't hurt either! He mightily wanted his dad to make-up with his grandad.

How did I get down that bunny trail?

There were four new people at the aerobic kickboxing class tonight. I do it to help my Zumba strength and at Wednesday's class I mentioned the aerobic class to everyone and told them how it helped me. I told a couple (who are my age) that when she uses the step, I don't use it because my knees and feet don't like it. Well, I guess it inspired them to come. They wanted to work out, but don't like the step. Many people, they don't want to look different from the rest of the class. I don't care though. I was the only once doing 'step tap' while everyone else did jumping jacks. Now there are several peeps doing step tap like me! Wheee!

My husband sat in the truck as I groomed Bella and Nike. It was dark outside. We got there so late. I told him when we got home that I'm probably the only person who grooms horses in the dark. What he said struck me as very tender because he looked at me and said, "Those horses mean a lot to you." I hadn't thought of it. I do love them, but I didn't know if horses in our life could be real or an "almost, but not" kind of thing. Now that we're going to be in the house and the corral is right out front, it's all real. I could never have imagined it. Not in my wildest dreams.

Aaaah. Life is so sweet. It's 2010 and I already know it will be too short.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

I am

I am a Zumba instructor! I did it. I taught my first two classes this week: Wednesday evening and Saturday noon. Yeah, I was scared but it was worth it going through the scariness.

At the Wednesday class I was the most nervous. I did about an eight minute talking intro since none of the students had taken a Zumba class ever before. I had an outline and tried to keep it brief. It went well except sometimes I had to take a big breath because I guess I wasn't breathing. Haha! And my mouth was super dry from nerves. But I did it. That's what counts. Karol said she couldn't tell I was nervous, but she was way in the back row. But it's true that nervousness often doesn't show as much as we think.

On the dancing part, I made no errors on Wednesday, not one, but I did on Saturday - about three. I just kept going. I didn't have a meltdown or make a big deal of it. Yay me. It's not easy dancing through a mistake. I hope it'll get easier. And it was a routine that I know inside out too. Go figure.

Next week I'll be teaching a full hour. Technically, I only have 40 minutes memorized but many brand new teachers do a few songs twice because it's such a daunting task to memorize 60 minutes right off the bat. I think the students will like it because part of the fun is that after you know the routine then you can add style and flavor. That's when the real fun kicks in. I think they will not mind doing a few songs twice while I learn the new routines to get up to 60 minutes. I really needed to get out there and start. I had a fear that I would spend so much time practicing that I'd finally, ultimately, do nothing.

Somebody took my Zumba flyer off of the bulletin board at the market. Who did that! My husband said someone probably just wanted to take it home. Why I oughta. Now I have to get another one made. That costs $1.20.

Fifteen people came Wednesday and 14 on Saturday, but a few of the Saturday people had been there Wednesday so they were repeats. That's good though. They came back. We'll see how many will pay five bucks to come though.

After we did the Kulikitaca song everyone clapped. That was neat! They were sweating too. And at the Wednesday class it was cool because after some of the dances there would be all manner of chatter and laughter. It was very uplifting.

Today I had a bit of an odd fellow in the class. He was waving his arms around kind of funny. We have that sort of thing here. He was a nice enough guy though. Harmless. And one lady chose a spot, strangely, right next to me. I had to make my steps very small on the side she was on. I didn't want to offend her since I don't know which people will become regulars so I smiled and made due. One lady came in wearing 1.5" platform sandals. I said she couldn't move in them. She'll hurt herself. I can't remember if she left. Either another lady brought her shoes or she left. I can't remember. I'm sure that even if she tried she would not last long in those shoes.

I got a compliment from one lady, she's from church, who said she's noticed I've trimmed down. I said, yeah, my back doesn't hurt much anymore (from strengthening the abdominals) and my husband says I'm leaner and meaner. She asked how long it took and I told her five months. She's already taken her measurements and seems serious about losing weight. I was very encouraged by that because she's just the kind of person I hope the class will appeal to. I talked to her and told her that if she wanted even to bring a chair to sit in to rest, she is welcome to. I got that idea from my sister.

Finally, I'm in a position where I can give back to the community. I want to serve the community well. I remember once my pastor said that as we become older we should become teachers. It always stuck in my mind. And there is so little here in the way of extracurricular endeavors to get into shape. There's no YMCA, or I should say "Y", no active community center or city recreation department. I hope I will be successful with this endeavor.

I bought a Samsung washer and dryer online tonight for delivery to the store and we'll pick it up. I am waiting till we get them and move into the house before I wash my Zumba pants. I'm not even running those babies through the laundromat washer/dryers. I'll wash them by hand. My husband said I can order another pair. I am happy for that! I have some regular black dance pants but the crotch kind of creeps down. Very uncool to have to pull up your pantaloons while dancing.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Big ticket items

Went to Cruces and got home at 5:30pm. It was 106 there and on the way home it rained which brought temp down 20 degrees. Then it went back up at home.

We bought our son a desk from Office Max. He chose a corner desk to make the most of his small space. It's laminated, but it's all his and it's brand new and on sale. Husband and I looked at washers and dryers, flat screen tvs, and sound systems. We are so out of the loop technology-wise that after two minutes of looking at each item we were overwhelmed. We did decide on a tv one step up from what I had been considering. We like the LED backlighting and four HDMI connections for streaming from the internet. He said he'd consider a Maytag washer/dryer set when I was only considering Samsung, so I'll widen my research on that. We decided a HTiB (Home Theater in a Box) is best for our needs sound-wise. We used to have a Yamaha sound system with gigantic speakers. Good thing we didn't keep it. It would never fit in our new space. I don't want to bother with putting a system together piece by piece and I don't want wires all over or to have to spend time putting speakers on the wall, so a real surround sound system is out. We happened to walk by a Bose system that sounded good and was so small! It's only three speakers and a remote. I have to admit I always wanted something Bose and though not every Bose product is a good deal, I think this one is. So I'm reading, reading, reading. It was nice when we lived in the Bay Area because just reading the tech section of the Silicon Valley newspaper (The Mercury News) naturally kept us up to date about what products were good or mediocre or no good. Now I'm running fast as I can to get educated to spend our money well for best value.

For the furniture I decided on the same pieces but without the stars. I guess stars are kinda Texas. I love Texas. I sure do. But if I had a symbol in our living area I'd rather use the zia from the New Mexican flag. I thought the star was kinda Amish too. I love the Amish. But they're in Pennsylvania.

I think I just memorized another routine for Zumba. It's for the song "Rock Around the Clock." A 1950s tune. It's in my head. I'll have to see if my body can do it this afternoon. Tomorrow's my first class. I feel well. Excited. I had a bad stomach ache for a week and a half, but yesterday and today it's gone. I ate a big full taco lunch yesterday. It was sooo nice to eat a good meal and feel relaxed. I've been having to eat such tiny portions because my stomach was tense. I'm in a prayer group and my friends are praying for me. "Be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind." And "God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind." And then the Holy Spirit showed up Sunday night and was so sweet. Church went on for two and a half hours. I went up to alter call and let the Spirit fill me up and I'm still in the flow with it. I praise his wonderful, magnificent, glorious name.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Coffee tables

So we're getting a tv. It'll be one of those flat screen kinds. I have to research it. We're stepping back into the regular world. I'm shopping a bit for a coffee table. I wanted to put the tv on the wall, but what about the cords? I don't know if we can hide the cord and if any cords show it can't go on the wall. I like wood and I'd like a southwestern style since we're in the southwest. I'm thinking of these. Handmade in Mexico. Pine. All wood.

Oops. The giant end table is a little out of scale ain't it. I'm thinking used sofas and chairs and this new stuff. Not too expensive. Rustic. I definitely want rustic. Spill something, put your shoes on it, no big deal. It'll just add character to it. One thing that popped into my head last night - putting a vase of flowers on the kitchen table. I used to like buying flowers every week. Irises. I like irises. Purple. Gary already gave us a sofa and it's like brand new. It's awful kind of him. He and his wife are that way. Very generous. We will need a recliner for the man of the house :) and I think we need another sofa for peeps to sit.

Already told son he cannot have his computer in his bedroom. Computers belong in the community area, living room/kitchen. The tv is for my husband to watch sports. I expect to maybe watch some wildlife shows. Do they have those anymore I wonder. I'm not going to become a tv watcher. I already know I don't like some of the football commercials. Son has seen tv at friends' houses and has informed me of the list of shows he'd like access to:

Deadliest Catch
Dirty Jobs
Extreme 4x4
And maybe Wipeout

I have no idea what they're about but he's a fairly discerning so I think I wouldn't forbid him to watch them.

I put up the Zumba class flyers around town today: at the post office, laundromat, hair stylist's, the market, the ranger's office. I got my first Zumba email already from a girl who is excited that Zumba is coming to our town. People's excitement is contagious! I felt happy today whereas the last few days I'd been wondering what I've gotten myself into. Tomorrow I'm going to ask Gina if I may put a flyer in the store window. Lots of people go in and out there.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


Poor Bella. She had diarrhea this morning. We think it's because she got real upset yesterday. Yesterday she walked into the narrow area between the fence and the shed they go in for shade and wind protection and got stuck. She must have been stuck a long time and I guess she couldn't figure out how to back out. Gary came home and heard a racket and found her and he got her out. She hasn't got a scratch on her and other than distress seems okay. I'm glad the diarrhea went away. Didn't know what I was going to do if it continued.

Tomorrow I get to clean her up. Blech. She's quite a mess in the back. Blech.


Have to think about appliances. I have no name brand loyalties. The last fridge we bought was a Kitchen Aide and it was garbage. It leaked all over the kitchen floor one night. It wasn't a cheap fridge either. I liked the stainless steel look at the time and man, it was a pain to keep clean and beautiful. We're getting white next time. Don't need a fridge but we do need a washer dryer set. I'm thinking Samsung. It's made in China I think, but the Chinese know a lot about washers. Those front loader washing machines are the cat's meow and get clothes so much cleaner.

Can't say I'm not looking forward to purchasing things. I do still like to buy. It's the human condition I suppose. Am disappointed to be leaving behind the whole living small concept. We'll have water bills, trash bill, electric and gas bills, cable bills, weed killer spraying to do, watering of plants to do, cleaning house, CLEANING HOUSE, to do. Aaaauugh! I haven't done that in years. But I can take a bath in winter. We won't have to go to the laundromat. I'll have Pergo flooring in the extra room to dance on.

I will go with the flow. Everything's coming up roses so go with the flow.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Some mojo

Such a fine day. I just watered the birds. I always check Mrs. Thrasher's nest. It's empty now, but she raised to broods in it this year - four babies total. I can't help walking over to look inside of it. A couple days ago someone put some bean pods that grow on the bushes here inside the nest. I wonder if she did it. Husband said maybe a squirrel did it but a squirrel couldn't possibly climb a cholla cactus.

Some mojo. I got a hair compliment today. I wore it down to churchity-church and afterward helped husband in the Visitor's Center where a customer said it was long and pretty and, (the and is what has it) and my ends are nice and thick! She works in a salon as a masseuse and said she has to have a nice cut and style because of where she works and we talked about trimming, drying, and ends and so on. Very cool. Her hair was long by most standards and it was layered; thick and luxurious. It's interesting how she knew how to pass on a good compliment. Guess she knows that from working in a salon.

I think we might be moving into the house early September! My husband said we are gonna get a flag pole! We had one at our other house. Got it before 9/11 too. A lot of people started flying flags after 9/11 but we had one quite before. I told him I am so excited at the thought of getting one and he said I was excited when we got the other one too. I don't remember that. I just remember being happy to have one. I picked it out and he put it up. It sas 20' I believe and it was a tad short so this time I said I'd like a 25 footer. He said okay. Can't wait to shop! We used raise the flag every morning (okay, he did) and took it down and folded it every evening (we did). Our neighbors seemed to appreciate it though I didn't realize they did till we moved and they told us how they would miss seeing the flag flying. I always liked the Gadsden flag too - the yellow one with the rattlesnake that says "Don't tread on me." It was the U.S. Navy flag before there was a U.S. Navy. On the other hand, we're in New Mexico. Maybe a New Mexico flag would be nice to add. Hmmm. We'll just the the U.S. flag. Another one would be expensive and it was have to be replaced as often and the American flag. Okay.

I have to start dinner. We're having chicken soup and fresh sourdough bread from the bakery. We're the only family I know who eats hot soup and a blistering hot day.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Paperwork and prep

Straight out of the camera.  A rarity for me because I can't control myself from highlighting this or that, messing with exposure and paintbrushing.  I smiled big.  I have some others that look like I have the crazies.  Emailed one to my husband and I walked over and said, Look at my smile, it's not too bad.  Hey, I said, you need to scroll up to look at my smile. He's such a man. Wished I'd shot the other side so my tattoo isn't sticking out right in front. I forgot about that.

I needed a photo for my flyers so I can print them and stop thinking about it. My husband traipsed through the hot desert on my behalf and scoped out a fine juniper tree with shade for me to stand under.  I was thinking a perfect venue would be a photo at the gym or the studio but I don't want to wait, plus a lot of the Zumba girls use photos from in their house or out and about doing whatever. I'm using the photo on top.  Usually I delete photos that show my turkey gobbler profile (the second pic), but that's what it be like.  Fifty one years takes its toll and I accept it. I'm alive and an imperfect jawline is small payment.

The real truth is, I wish to get it fixed someday but my husband doesn't want me to because he doesn't want me to accidentally die getting cosmetic surgery.  I don't do well under the knife and he knows it.  I do too, so shame on me for wishing. I say, better to die skiing or hiking or anything, even eaten by a bear, than plastic surgery for vanity purposes.  It wouldn't make a good headstone - The beloved Lil lies here.  Died from neck lift with platysmaplasty (that means with an incision under the chinny chin chin and behind the ears).  I'd never do anything to the eyes though.  I see people with bald looking, sunken eye sockets from having their eyes done.  Too chancy.  Eyes give such character.  I don't mind some sag in the eyes.  I should try to make peace with this whole aging thing.  Naaah.  Who am I kidding!  Can't do it.  No peace. 

I will drop off the flash drive with the printers tomorrow.  I still need to get a liability waiver.  Need to distribute the flyers in town.  Then I'll be pretty much done with all the setting up.

I'm memorizing the cool down routine today.

The meteor shower the other night was excellent. There weren't lots of them as when we were at Joshua Tree National Park a few years back, but the ones I saw were very bright and very long and quite spectacular. It was worth a rotten night of sleep. I jumped awake when a mosquito bit my index finger and it was then I finally surrendered and went inside to my comfy bed. Checked the clock and it was 4:00am. I always want to be at one with nature but I end up coming inside. Last time I slept outside a huge wind storm came up.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The Perseids

I'm going to sleep outside on a cot tonight to watch the sky.  I think I might be a day early though, so I'll have to sleep outside tomorrow too.  And the moon is just a couple days past new, just 6% full according to my sidebar moon, so it's small and won't interfere with its bright moonlight.  Ooooh la la.

I purchased liability insurance of one million dollars today.  I'm scared and excited.  Excited and scared.  No, not scared.  Anxious.  No, I need a positive word. Uneasy?  Queasy?  No.  They're positively not positive.  Eager.  Excited and eager.  Eager is a weird word though.  Kind of like "yearning." 

I'm looking forward to being a Zumba teacher.  I start on August 25th at 5:30pm.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


I got two hair compliments yesterday.  A double header.  I was wearing my hair in a braid.  We were at Denny's restaurant paying our bill, well, husband was paying the bill.  I was sitting on the sofa.  And a young waitress, she was cashiering, told me my hair was long and pretty.  Wowie kazowie.  Often people will say, "Your hair is long," and I say, "It is."  I'm not sure if "thank you" would be appropriate.  It's more like they're making a statement of fact, not complimenting.  So anyways, it was great to get a no-bones-about-it compliment.  And that's not all.  Another sweet waitress sat down beside me, like a friend only I think she was just really tired, and started talking about how pretty it is and she added that not all women can wear my color of hair and look good.  I was really wondering if she was a long hair person.  She said she liked the color of my hair very much.

They were the nicest compliments I've gotten in a long time. I walked out of the restaurant positively beaming.  I told my husband how happy I was and he said, "Oh?" as he looked at the receipt from breakfast.  I said, duh, you know they gave me nice compliments.  As if!  And then he says, "Well, you do have beautiful hair."  And I told him he doesn't know anything.  He's just a husband.  And he threw his hands up exasperation.

Friday, August 06, 2010

Speakers and me

Speakers and me, we have a problem.  I'm always blowing them out.  I kept upgrading my sound system in my car (back in the day when I had a car) and still blew one of them out.  One speaker got a little rip in it which I could sense in certain music.  I loathe cheap sound.  Well, ideally I do.

So I was practicing my first song at the studio yesterday, Selena got there as I was leaving by the way, and three minutes later there was a huge crashing sound.  The owner is as best I can guess a Buddhist, Muslim, Namaste, with a bit of Virgin Mary thrown in for good measure believer, and keeps a shrine in the studio.  This sound system is barely squeezed in behind the shrine.  It's an excellent location to hide it from eyes of passers-by, but it's hard to reach.

So I'm dancing "Que Te Mueve" which means How You Move and I hear such a mighty crashing (I thought I was going to have a heart attack ) and it sounded as if whole shrine covered with glass ornaments, glass candles and oil bottles and pictures, was falling over.  It didn't.  Thank goodness.  But I looked behind it and I guess the deep bass and having the volume cranked up to 25 caused the two speakers to walk and they had fallen from the top shelf allll the way down to the floor amid a myriad of little stuff and things she stores back there.  I stumbled back a few steps and got hold of my neck (I always choke myself when I'm nervous) and after a minute decided I better stop hyperventilating and figure out what to do.

I picked up the speakers and placed them back on the shelf.  I'm a dork and put one upside down, but then I noticed and put it upright.  One lost its wire but to the other a wire was still attached.  I tentatively played my CD and listened real close and one speaker was busted, but the other one sounded fine.  Called the owner and she was real sweet and kind about it.  It's true that it was already precariously perched, but you know, people can get mean when it comes to their stuff, but she was very nice and all forgiving.  I suggested her husband could fix it or my husband could (hopefully) and she replied that her husband is not a fixer of things, so I said I'll have mine look at it.  He looked at it today and soldered the wires back together and added hinges so the speakers won't walk.  He's going to go back and make it so the top shelf won't be able to tip off the rack too.  I love him so

Welp, looks like the week of the 16th or the 23rd I'm gonna have to buckle down and actually teach an actual Zumba class.  I'm working on flyers now.

I have a new pair of sunglasses.  I'm off expensive sunglasses.  I declare, I'm never buying a pair of expensive sunglasses ever again.  I always lose them, so why spend so much money on them?  I found a pretty darned good pair at Wal-Mart today.  They're polarized and give me the world in rose color.  That's a bit o' all right.

My last pair of expensive ones I lost on Wednesday.  We were part of a search party looking for a man who's gone missing.  It's awful sad.  The sheriff was there and people on horseback were there, and people to search on foot were there.  We didn't find him.  I hope he's found soon so his wife and family can have some peace about it.  When at first we were looking I felt like it was doable, but after a couple hours you realize you'd have to walk right upon him to find him.  The desert is so big.  I wished I had the eyes of the birds soaring on the winds overhead.  Could they see what we're looking for.  Do they know where he is?

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Selena's going to meet me at the dance studio.  Well, it's a yoga studio I'm using for dance, and I'm going to test out my moves on her.  She gets off work at 4:00pm.  My quads are so sore.  Yesterday it hurt just to sit down.  Not that I sit on my quads, but I do use them to lower myself down to el sofa.  Better just to fall on the sofa then you don't need to engage the quads at all.

None of my pants are tight anymore.  It must be the Zumba.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Being married

Being married gives you someone to blame.  Here's the thing.  Awhile back I left my phone in my pants and it got washed with the laundry.  About two months ago I started going to the laundromat with my husband so he can get the folding done faster (he hates folding the whites) but at the time of my cell phone wash incident he did the laundry and I was home.  Anyway, it was my fault.  I can see that.  I would have been nice if he'd noticed it in my pocket, but who am I to point fingers.  I did leave it in my own pants pocket. 

Now he washed his phone in the pocket of his pants and it's my fault.  I don't know how that works!

We plan to move to our rental house at end of August.  Far sooner than expected!  We will have our own washer and dryer there.  Oooh la la.  No.  More.  Laundromat.

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Oh my

I typed a lot on the topic of apologetics.  Accidentally deleted it so I did a quick Control Z to to undo.  Evidently I did the Control Z one too many times.  I undid myself to a blank page.

Now to calmly walk away from this computer.