Thursday, February 24, 2011

Not Friday

Last night, Wednesday night, I got my days mixed up. About 8:00pm I said, "Oh boy, tomorrow's Friday. I like Fridays. Yay! Yay!" Our son got up and we did a little happy dance together in the livingroom then he stopped and said, "Tomorrow's Thursday." We were completely deflated.

But now, TOMORROW'S Friday!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Something serious going on

Husband was watching tv while he was working out this morn. He works out every morn in front of the tv. I was sitting in my dance studio/computer room/study and he said, "Hey, come in here. You've got to see this." I thought it was something new and awful happening in New Zealand or Greece or the Middle East or Wisconsin. But my husband went to our son's bedroom door, stood by and said, "Look in there. What do you notice? No Rainbow." Hmmm, that's strange I thought. Because Rainbow is usually sitting on the bed.

We homeschool, but on Wednesdays son attends a full day of school at the local private school. My husband said he noticed Rainbow wasn't there beside our son when he woke him up to get ready for school. Rainbow, named for his bright yellow, blue, and pink colors, is the stuffed toy dog our son has slept with every night since he was six years old. He loves Rainbow! We all love Rainbow. We all remember how he won Rainbow at the Indio Date Festival when he was six years old. Husband didn't mention Rainbow's absence out loud to our son.

But where was Rainbow?

We waited till he was gone to school. We stood the the bedroom door peering in, both of us know we were facing more than just a stuffed dog gone missing. Then we stepped in together.

First I thought maybe Rainbow fell under the bed and somehow, in the bizarro world, got left down there. Highly unlikely because our son is a major neatnik (an inherited trait not from me) and the room is always spotless. Everything in its place. I have never in the history of the world, had to tell this child to clean his room But you never know. Hope against hope, maybe he had an off day or something. But Rainbow wasn't there. So I looked in the blankets. Rainbow is older now and skinnier than when he was younger, so he could possibly be caught in a big fold, an unseen fold, in the blankets. I pulled up the sheet, the blanket, and the comforter and puffed them all up together with air. Then they all laid back down perfectly flat. Nope, Rainbow wasn't there. We looked all around on the floor.

There was one last place to look. The clothes closet. Husband went and got the flashlight. I opened the door. I looked in up and down, in all four corners and then. There, he was. On a shelf, way up high, you'd need a chair to reach it, Rainbow sat. All alone in the dark. Kind of crumpled. Sitting on top of a plastic Rubbermaid tub full of all sorts of miscellaneous items now rarely accessed. My heart dropped and I felt bad. My husband said, "Ohhhh noooooo."

He's is growing up. He'll be 14 in May. I'm so not ready. Come to think of it, for the last few days he hasn't given me a kiss goodnight. I knew it was approaching. It had to. We have an older son who's 32 so we know the drill. It has to happen, right? Growing up is inevitable. It's the ultimate goal of parenting, is it not. Sigh. But I'm going to miss the baby, the tot, the second grader and the little boy. I'm going to miss the big boy. He's growing into a young man now. And I will miss Rainbow so very much.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

I admit

I admit it. I like getting texts on my cell phone. I do! I feel all happy when I get one. I like the sound the phone makes when a text comes in. I like knowing that someone is thinking of me and they texted me about something. I like to read it and I like to respond. Texts are always small. And I feel like a show off in front of my husband when I get more than one text at a time.

Thursday, February 17, 2011


She was unfazed by the bitter apple. My little baby horse went back home. I decided to send her back before we get even more attached. The owners we're very kind. I can see her from the kitchen window. She's napping right now. The thing is, I think the tail chewing is a habit. She has a brother who does it and he's older than she.

I have no horse. Bella is sad and misses Ginger too. She threw a big fit when we took Ginger out of the corral. Horses get connected very fast. Well, someday there will be the right horse for me. I will have to wait for now.

Anthony has the flu and had a 103 degree temp. I'm making him chicken soup to give them this afternoon.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

More gone

The Vaseline with hot pepper mixed in didn't work. Overnight, Ginger ate more of Bella's tail. I'm so sad. Strangely, son doesn't seem upset. That child loves animals so. This morning I said Ginger has to go back. Nobody listened to me I think! Son said he'll call Anthony so we can take Ginger back, but I know he wants to keep her, not give her back.

Husband is gone to Cruces to the horse store. I'll see what comes of it.

He's home. I put bitter apple spray on her tail now.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Her poor tail

Bella's tail is my life.  It's long.  It's luxurious.  It's shiny.  It's two colored, black and white.  It's down to her ankles - or maybe they're called hocks - about six inches from the ground.  I baby that tail and use only the best products on it.  Heck, my mane and tail conditioner is the same stuff the Queen of England uses in her stables.  So the advertisement says.

Now it's PARTLY CHEWED OFF!  Gone. It'll take two years to grow back to where it was! 

We've had little Ginger here for two days.  I loved her yesterday until I woke this morning hearing our son talk about how Bella's tail had been chewed and I jumped out of bed and ran outside and saw 1/4th of Bella's white tail gnawed clean off.  It was all wiggly with dried horse spit where it had been gnawed on.  Then I ran to Google and found some advice.  I put a mixture of Vaseline and hot pepper on the tips of Bella's chewed off ends and I hope Ginger will get a mouth full.  I also ordered some super stink stuff that's supposed to keep horses from chewing.

Ai yi yi.  From joy to distress in a mere two days. She's seven months old and a pretty little thing. A dun horse. Walks up to me sometimes too.

Friday, February 11, 2011


Finishing the entry I started.  I'm recovered from the shaving incident.

I've been thinking so much about this little horse next door.  She's about five months old.  She's a dun.  Dun is a color.  Dark blonde or light tan.  And she has black socks and mane and tail, white spot on her forehead, and a line down her back.  The line is a dominant trait in dun horses.  She's duperly friendly and I met her full blood brother and mother and both are gentle and friendly.  She's 1/4 Belgian which is a big, gentle, draft horse.  Watching her from a distance I thought she was a plain brown horse rather unremarkable.

Anthony, her owner, was going to sell her.  Is going to sell her.  Our son, so outgoing he is, is friends with Anthony.  Anthony grew up with horses.  His dad had 80 horses.  Thems is a lot of horses.  Today I got to watch Anthony work with the baby, her name is Ginger, and I watched him do "pressure and release."  It's part of the horse psyche.  I'm still hung up on dog psyche and I have to get it through my head how different horses are.  Like in the movie "Secretariat."  I've got to watch it again to catch the full dialogue, but it was something about how horses don't care about the clouds or the sky (which struck a chord with me because I'm into clouds), but horses care about what is in front of them, what is moving, where it's going.  Yeah, makes sense.  If your survival instinct is to be aware of what's around you then you're not gonna be checking out the sky.

Anthony told our son he's selling the baby to anyone else but he would give her to us.  Well, I decided long time ago that the horse I want, that I will get, I want at no cost.  I want a horse that needs a good home.  I'm not looking for high price with papers or fanciness.  I don't need a particular breed.  I want a good, healthy horse that will not bite me or scare me.  That is calm.  Friendly.  That I would be comfortable for my friends, when I get some friends, to pet and stand next to.  One I can ride someday.  Yeah, that's what I want.  I think Ginger may be the one.  I'd have to wait two years for her to grow up for me to ride her, but I don't mind.  We waited for Bella to grow up and now our son is sitting on her.  Not riding yet, but sitting to get her used to him.  She never bucked or kicked!  What a good girl.

My husband is thinking on it.  Soon we need to buy tack for Bella.  We need a saddle and stuff.  He's thinking we'll sell the trailer and use the money for horse things.  We'd like to improve the horse fencing here.  We'll see.  We'll see what's in store.  I'm okay with selling trailie.  It's a duperly nice trailer for an old one (built in 1999) and the floorplan is a hard to find one.  I hope someone will want it.  If we can sell it then that would be good.  We traveled for so long.  Truth is, I have no desire to pack it up for even a small trip.  Camping in it means stocking up, getting ready to go (don't forget this and that), coming home and cleaning it out.  Ugh.  I don't think I'm up for that.

Horse dreams.

Hoping wondering

I'm hoping and wondering.  I prayed too.  But God knows the desires of my heart even before I speak it.

For awhile I've wanted a horse of my own.  Son is a little fussy about sharing his.  He's got only child syndrome.  I decided to ask God for one and I decided  CUT, CUT, CUT!


My youngest child age 13 1/2 just shaved off his mustache.  I loved that mustache.  He's so happy.  I am going to weep!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

The toning class was my favorite of the workshops I've taken.  The music is a little slower because you have to use more purposeful movements when holding weights, but the dance style is way fun and my forehead was dripping sweat.  My gluts were sore the next day.  Squats and lunges are a girl's best friend.  Such a good workout!  Best of all we were let out two hours early.  The class was small and more personal.  Only 11 students.  My other workshops had 30 to 60 students, so this was way nicer.  Apparently Zumba didn't realize they scheduled it on Super Bowl Day.  I only missed about half an hour of the Superbowl. 

The teacher was tiny and cute as a bug's ear.  She gave a good class.  She had awesome arms.  Hope I might get such nice arms.

My hope, my plan, is to learn the choreo and open a class in July.  I'll offer Toning in an eight week session.  There's more talking and instructing for me to do in a toning class than in a basic Zumba class so I'd rather not have drop-ins.  I have to know the muscle groups and exactly what muscle is being worked with each exercise.  I'm supposed to watch participants closely and check their form.  I have so much I need to learn.  I might be ready before July but I told everyone July because I don't want them bugging me before then.  When I was preparing to teach Zumba  people would always say, "When are you starting?" and I got tired of it.  I'm ready when I'm ready.  End of discussion.

Mostly today I'm thinking of my friend.

Saturday, February 05, 2011


Tomorrow I'm attending the Zumba Toning workshop to get my license to teach toning.  It's 75 miles away and I have to be there at 8:30am to 5:30pm.   I love Zumba.  Love the teaching and the workout but I don't like the workshops.  They're so intense.  At the last one I injured my Achille's heel and it's barely getting better now.  Plus, I cannot believe they scheduled it on Super Bowl Sunday!  If I'd known in December when I signed up that February 6 is the Super Bowl I wouldn't have signed up.  Blah!  No day of relaxation for me tomorrow.  I'll be sweating.

I got my Zumba banner today.  Finally.  It's been held up for three days in Fort Worth, Texas, due to the snow.  It's real pretty, pink and orange and lime green, and very professional looking.  I'm hoping my husband will figure a way for me to hang it up where I teach.  It has to be so that I can put it up and take it down.  I want to put it on the front of the stage I stand on.  Hopefully, it'll be a good investment.  I had six students today and sweet Mayela let us dance in one of her garages because the senior center was scheduled for something and they gave us the boot for the day.  She and Kathy decorated it so beautifully.  They, I think especially Kathy, are so talented.  On my Zumba one year anniversary I want to give a free class and make it a big party.  Kathy said she'll help me.  She has a gift for that sort of thing.  She spray painted white fabric with Zumba sayings and "Zumba with Liliana!"  It was soooo nice. 

My head hurts.  :(  I want to stay home and cozy and laze around tomorrow.  Double boo hoo.  Guess I'll have to use my own saying on myself and tell myself --> Suck it up, Princess.

Thursday, February 03, 2011

Thank you

Thank you Fox, and Daisy, and Kathryn.  He went home to heaven.  I was in bed and my husband brought me my phone.  Ann left me a text and Dad left me a voicemail.  Ann said they're going to bed now and I phoned but no answer so I bet they're plumb tired, whatever happened.  I wonder if they took the heart pump out.  I wonder if they were there all night.  My cousin, Billy, is there too,  Billy and Uncle Jim were pretty close.

I know he's in heaven.

My pastor says he's done a lot of funerals (of course, he's a pastor) and that sometimes family of the deceased will say to Pastor afterward, "So, do you think he made it to heaven?"  Pastor has to say he doesn't know.  That's what he tells them.  He told us in church, if your own family has to ask if you made to heaven, then what do you think?  He asks questions that make us think.  So, yeah, I have a pretty good general idea of who embraces the doctrine of the Holy Bible as true and for certain, and those who are unsure, and those who don't.  Uncle Jim did for sure.  So.  I'll miss him.  I think it's been a couple years since I saw him.  But he was with everyone in San Diego at Christmas and they had a really good visit.  My sister said it was hilarious because Dad, Uncle Jim and Aunt Dennie were joking with each other but half the time they couldn't hear what the other one said.  She said she suspected that they had "selective" hearing.  Haha!  Even at his advanced age, he drove back to Nebraska and stayed with family every year.  My father does too.  He's gone there every year for his whole life because that's where Grama lived and his sister is there and the Nebraska family.  He's got a big house and garage filled to the brim with tons of Corvette and motorcycle things.  He was a gearhead.  That's what he called car people.  Goodness, that'll be a ginormous job clearing it out.

Now three children are left of six.  My dad, the baby of the family, Aunt Gail who is one and a half years older than Uncle Jim, and Aunt Dennie, the second from the eldest.  Seems odd.  Like an outfit that doesn't fit right.  I don't like it.

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Wrrds to remember

Words I'm saving.

We never like to let go of those we love, and it's hard to see them suffer. I am praying the Lord's will. He knows what is best. He may yet heal him and make him stronger than before! But if He calls Him home, then he will certainly have that ultimate healing and never suffer again. Praying that God will be close to all the family through this difficult time of waiting. We know the plans God has for us are good plans... and while it's hard to wait, we know He is doing what is best.


Ann, my dad's wife, said something today.  Sometimes, sometimes she does that.  She says a thing that resonates.  That makes me feel well.  She said every day longer is a day for him to get stronger!  Today he looks better and they're going to take the balloon pump out of his heart and then his heart will be pumping by itself.  Every day longer is a day to get stronger.  That's my prayer of praise and of thanks tonight.  I've decided that is how I'll pray.  Our God is a good God!


Whee!  We have cold and snow.  The interstate is closed for 125 miles from Belen to Albuquerque and all the hotels and motels are so filled up that the senior center where I teach is being used as emergency shelter!  I hope it clears out for class Thursday night!  It's so beautiful outside.  It's 11 degrees right now in the middle of the day.  It's record breaking cold!

Tuesday, February 01, 2011


My hair is 48.5 inches long.  Growing slowly.

Mayela's mom made me a crochet headband with a flower on the side.  I love it.  She gave it to me at Zumba tonight.  My husband said it's very me.  It's kind of 1930s-ish looking.  Black and white.  Mayela gave me some stuff to rub on my back too that she says works well.  The package is all in Spanish.  It's smells like Vick's Vaporub.  I like it too.

Uncle Jim.  They cannot do anything for him.  He's been on massive blood thinners so they cannot do any surgery.  He's still sedated so he doesn't know what's happened.  It's hard to know what to pray for.  For complete healing.  It's possible.  For quick, painless dying.  That's what I'd want.  Who wouldn't.  I know he wouldn't want to not live at his home or be dependent upon others.  He's very independent.  I'll pray for perfect healing.  For God's will.  And I'll pray in the Holy Spirit.

It's snowing outside.

What more can I say.  Not much.  

1 Cor 12:29-30 (NIV) Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret?

John 3:8 The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”
Uncle Jim is in the hospital. He had a heart attack.  He's under sedation.  I'm having a hard time keeping my mind on anything this morning.  Last night my eyes were crying.  Usually I'm very good at compartmentalizing things. It seems that I love Uncle Jim more than I thought I did.  He's very easy to love.  He's funny.  He's a good conversationalist.  He's very interesting when he gets to talking about a lot of things that I never knew about him.  And strong in his faith in God.  We like to eat Snicker snack size bites at his house.  We bought some but they weren't as good as the ones we ate at his house.  Everything there is still just like Aunt Delores left it when she passed on and I like sitting in the living room and kitchen.  Now my nose is running.