Wednesday, December 17, 2014

I'm done with yoga.  I didn't use my last paid class and I probably never will.  It became clear to my mind to let go of the whole Holy Yoga thang.  I don't even miss it.

For two months my knees became increasingly stiff.  It was affecting my walking and hurt, dang, it hurt.  Oddly, I was still able to do Zumba but not bend my knees, which, there is not much knee-bending in my routines so there ya go.  But I focused on what could be the problem and thought it might be this one particular Zumba routine.  Took out the routine and, voila, slow improvement.  I still can't sit Indian style, but I can do a standing quad stretch so I'm satisfied with that!  Zumba classes are small this winter, five to ten people.  I am blessed to have each woman in my class especially since there are two cheaper Zumba instructors in town.  I'm taking Christmas week off from Zumba classes and will use it to practice some new routines.

Bible study is evolving and growing.  We had seven ladies recently.  One night I did the gospel of John, chapter 15 with the group.  It's about how Jesus is the true vine.  It went so well that during the night it came to me that we ought to go through the whole gospel of John together instead of jumping around the Bible.  They liked the idea and so that's the plan.

I talked so long about John 1-18 (it's a prologue, theological, and history begins in verse 19) last Friday that we didn't even notice the time passing.  I have been terribly worried about talking too much but Mayela said one of the women said she'd like to stay longer.  That gave me such a great boost of confidence.  At least it shows that the talk is absorbing so I must stop fretting about the time, and what others think, and just plan to find the most interesting and important part of whatever section God leads me to study and work on it.  We did two things last week.  One, I had them look up promises in the Bible and we shared them together.  It was a big hit with everyone, and it was wonderful to hear which of God's promises each woman looked up and prayed on during the week.  And for our Bible study I selected plenty of verses to support what I shared (from what I learned) so they can rightly divide the Word for themselves.  That way, listeners are engaged and less passive.  I think.  I hope.

Speaking of books, I'm reading "The Pilgrim's Progress" by John Bunyan, a classic.  It's the most published book in the English language next to the Bible.  It's very good.  I can even see a person in it whom I just met.  They fit the description of "talkative" from the book.  I've had it for months but just recently picked it up and opened it.  I especially like a section about the "Slough of Despond", a place where people get stuck on their journey.  They get in and can't get out.  They never realize there are steps all around that they can easily climb up and get out but, alas, they cannot see them.  Just like when we're stuck in a depression.  It's dark and murky and appears to be no hope of escape.  But God has foreplanned a way for us to escape - if only we see His way.

But for comes Thursday.  Next week will be a three day week.  Yay! I have a slight sore throat but I think it's just because I'm tired.

Friday, November 07, 2014

I'm looking forward to church!

And it's Friday.  Yay!  We may go to Cruces tomorrow.  I haven't decided.

I sent my sister on a recon mission.  That's how she put it.  Haha!  She's doing an exceedingly good job.  Such a good job, in fact, that I realize the yoga classes I'm attending in Cruces are a dud.  My teachers haven't done anything that hers have.  I need to take a class somewhere else, but unfortunately anyplace else will entail a long drive.

Today we prayed right after work from 5pm to 6pm.  It went well, but I find myself feeling bad because being a leader makes me nervous and worried.  The first two worship songs we did, I played too loud.  I read Exodus 1, chapters 1 and 2, and to 3:6 out loud from The Message.  I think it may have been too long.  For Kathy and Mayela and I it would not be too long, but because we had two other women I felt it was too long.  I worried about what they were thinking while I was reading.  Well, live and learn.  You can't figure out what works best unless you do something.  If I do nothing I will learn nothing and not get any better.

And we wrote prayers on our new prayer wall!  It's about 10' high and 12' long.  We included dates so we can write when our prayers are answered too.  That part went well I think.  I think they liked doing it.  And when it's all filled up we'll take it down, fold it up, and burn it so the smoke will go to heaven.  We certainly can't put them in the trash.  Over the past week we've put writing paper on one wall, a sparkly blue border, and a title which is scripture from Exodus 3:5.  I think everyone like it.  I ran over there when it was time to write our prayers down and they all laughed.  Haha!  We all laughed.

The last two songs went perfectly.  I didn't play them too loud, and the lyrics were just right.  For closing we sang "You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman, and also an Aaronic blessing I found on YouTube that's very beautiful.  I plan to memorize it this week, in the English of course, so I can use it in praying for people.

I didn't ask to be our prayer group leader, but three of them I notice have called me the leader.  Makes me nervous just to think of it right now.  Gives me that bad feeling in my chest.  But I'm going to put one foot in front of the other and do the best I can, even if it's not perfect.  Alas, I'm a Moses - slow of speech and slow of tongue.

I'm so tired.  I prepared so much, every night of the week, but when I knew it was more than just the three of us, my energy got wide and unfocused and I worried about whether any thing and every thing was the right thing.  I over studied actually.  I don't do that when I'm learning just for myself.  Usually there's a laser beam on what I want to learn.  Maybe, I ought to pretend I'm studying just for myself.  Or, really study just for me, then share it with them.  Uh oh, my head is getting too tight! 

But the Holy Spirit was present tonight while we prayed and that's the most important thing.  I don't know when I became so able to pray out loud.  When did that happen exactly?  I don't know.

Among other things, we all have in common the desire to grow spiritually.  I hope I will be worthy of such a mission, that is, to give us focus.  We will each help the other grow spiritually.  That's what I think.  Because each woman has her strengths and weaknesses.  Together our strengths are compounded and together our weaknesses will be turned into strength. I have so much to draw from from my own prayer group.  I have been the one blessed. I have learned the most from them.

Monday, November 03, 2014

I wrote that check for Sunday and I feel better!

Tonight it occurred to me that maybe I can make one post to store unhappy things in.  Mainly, things my father says.  Instead of keeping them in my heart where they ruin my mind and make me weepy and distressed, I will write them here and leave them sit.  And they can just rot on the internet and not in my brain.

11/3/14 Tonight he said, "What will he do if his younger brother (talking about my eldest) takes in more than he does?"  I said "Mmm hmmm (because nothing came to my mind except a question mark and I didn't know where he was going with such a remark).  Then he said, "You know how it feels."  Implying that my younger sister earns far more than I do, so okay, he already knew what he had in mind with that remark.  And I said, "Dad, I am happy.  I am content!  I have all that I need and much of what I want."  He said, "Oh, well you must have gotten that from me."  Um, what?

He said something about the Lord.  He was gently mocking me for my faith.

He told me I need to go get a shot for shingles and go get it done soon.  I said, "I can't promise anything."  Which is true.  I am not getting a shingles shot.  He kind of snickered like I'm an idiot.  I looked it up and the CDC has no recommendation for people age 50-59 and suggests it for age 60 and over. I'm 55. 

In September he said, "Ann says that people who don't have money don't deserve money."  I have no idea what his point was.  He said when he is gone everything goes to Ann.  I said, "I didn't expect anything, after all she is much younger than you."

I will store these here so in the future when I miss him and cry because I want him to love me, I can instead remember the weekly call which he ends with a sweet "Love you" after he cr*ps all over me.  I never use the word "cr*p" but I thought I'd try writing it because it fits.  I don't think I'll write it again.  It makes me feel worse.

Update 11/4/14:  Husband reminded me today that last week my dad was lamenting and blaming himself for how "he raised me wrong".  But we say I turned out fine!  My husband loves me.  And my sons love me.  I love them so much.  It's all that I need. And I remind myself I'm a child of God!  I am in Christ, and I am a new creation.

11/7/14 -  Referred to my college degree and asked me what have I done with it.

2/16 -  Have considered deleting this entire post.  He said I'm a bad mother. Then I told him I will not listen to him say hateful things about other members of the family and that I'm not going to listen to him using the 'f' word when calling his wife foul names.  So he said he feels like he can't talk to me.  Well, hallelujah!  Who needs all this negativity and unhappiness?  Not me. 

1/6/18 - Almost two years later.  I realize this entry deserves an update. Looking back, I see now that our dad was suffering from dementia probably for several years. In fact, it's clear to me as I reread this, that the entire blog entry supports that contention. My dad had a rough side that, like my mom, I never could bear up under. Since I was a child, he often just didn't know what to do with me. He wanted a daughter who fit in well, who was sociable, neither of which I ever fulfilled. Many people like the old adage "I'm the black sheep of the family." But I ain't no black sheep. The Lord says, "I lay my life down for the sheep." That means allll the sheep! Scripture doesn't specify black sheep, or white sheep, or tie-dyed sheep.  Terrible things happen in all families because people are broken, imperfect. Should we love each other less? No. We should love each other more. It doesn't mean that there aren't consequences to our actions. There are always consequences to our actions. But, glory to God. There is grace. Grace. Through the grace of God we don't have to suffer the consequences of our sin for eternity. But we do suffer the consequences here on earth. But I see now that I know my dad loved me and I know I loved him. 

I think there may be more to this. So many people my age are dealing with aging parents and nature the whole relationship mucks things up, stirs things up, in the human heart. Some of it good, some of it not. I think there's more here to be said - but I have arrived to this point just this afternoon. God is so good. We serve a great and mighty God.
I'm going to return to tithing.  Next Sunday I will tithe.  I will write the check today because that's another problem - I conveniently forget to write a check and my husband told me to stop giving cash.  Every time the plate comes by I feel horrible.

I used to put my cash in the basket and my husband would say why don't you have any money?  And, well, I had no defense.

I will take half the money from my Zumba money and half from my paycheck.  It think that way, I'm tithing less from our bank account where my husband sees it.  It's a fine plan.

Gotta pray for some forgiveness because I wanted to use my personal money for Zumba shoes and Zumba-wear and things for myself.  My classes have been small (no $100 nights since last April) and I was too tight-hearted to give to the Lord.  I am shameful.  I'm just plain old selfish and vain.

Sunday, November 02, 2014

We're getting rain tonight and it's fantastic.  Some thunder.  And now lightning.  I love thunder and lightning. 

I sat and talked with my pastor for a few minutes after church this morning and he was really talkative and he answered my two questions about prayer.  I think he may have enjoyed talking with me a bit too.  I hope so.  I didn't feel at all like I was bothering him.  I like him and his wife, Karen, very much. 

Went shopping last week-end and got a new knee length sweater, beige, from Old Navy.  Bought a sweater that'll go nice with leggings or jeans, and two cotton, long sleeved, tops.  I got two new pairs of high top shoes for Zumba.  One pair is red and pink and they're my favorite now.

Which reminds me.  I haven't been tithing.  I've felt so guilty for stopping.  It bothers my husband a little (my tithing) and I want him to be happy and I'm worried that if I tithe, he'll go get a job.  I don't feel good about it.  I need to do something about it because the devil likes you to compromise.  That's how he works.   I'm compromising.  I realized it during sermon this morn.

My friends and I are meeting for prayer on Fridays from 5-6pm.  It's been wonderful and fruitful.  We have had three other women come to pray with us.  I think at our next meeting we'll focus on prayer for pastors and churches.  We covered one whole wall at my friend's house with paper, added a border, gonna add a title this week, and we plan to write prayer requests on it and answers to prayer so we'll have a record of our prayers.  The title I chose for the wall comes from Exodus 3:5.  It's " are standing on holy ground."  It's not that the ground you're on is actually holy in and of itself, but it's the presence of God that makes it holy.  It was so for Moses as he stood in the presence of God in the burning bush and it's so when we're in Mayela's house praying.

I have a little headache.  But I feel happy too. 

Tomorrow is a work day.

Saturday, September 06, 2014

It's the intro to the Gideon's Bible!  Some introduction, eh!  Apparently Damson Dene Hotel in the U.K. has taken the Gideon's Bibles out of the rooms and replaced it with "Shades of Grey," a book described as "mommy porn."  Tsk, tsk.  I hope they don't have young children there.  That's not a good book for your 8-year-old to pick up.

Soon I'm going to increase my stepping.  Since it's been so hot in the Chihuahuan desert I haven't wanted to do the treadmill or walk outside.  Today I got 10,000 steps just at work.  Awesome sauce.  And on Fitbit I have four guys friending me: Slash, Jeffrey, Sam and Dan.  I'm going to friend them back, not.  But I initially stopped my stepping also because of a spiritual crisis in early May which has now passed.  It has not resolved itself but I cannot take on other people's sin.  That is the answer I keep telling myself.  It helps a small bit.  I don't know how counselors or pastors can bear it.

I've been studying about the woman with the issue of blood for two weeks.  Tomorrow I will compose my notes all in one place.  I've been collecting information on the scriptures about her from Matthew, Mark, and Luke.  Tonight I downloaded a character study about her and I am going to bed now to listen to it.  

Two weeks from now I've volunteered to be in the Baptist Church's pregnancy crisis booth at a community event.  Hope I may do some good there.  Hope no one eggs us or anything!

Wednesday, September 03, 2014

Who can guess where I found this? Hint: It's the introduction from the...?
The Bible contains the mind of God, the state of man, the way of salvation, the doom of sinners, and the happiness of believers. Its doctrines are holy, its precepts are binding, its histories are true, and its decisions are immutable.  Read it to be wise, believe it to be safe, and practice it to be holy. It contains light to direct you, food to support you, and comfort to cheer you.It is the traveler’s map, the pilgrim’s staff, the pilot’s compass, the soldier’s sword and the Christian’s charter. Here too, Heaven is opened and the gates of Hell disclosed.
Christ is its grand subject, our good its design, and the glory of God its end. It should fill the memory, rule the heart and guide the feet. Read it slowly, frequently and prayerfully.  It is a mine of wealth, a paradise of glory, and a river of pleasure.  It is given you in life, will be opened at the judgment, and be remembered forever. It involves the highest responsibility, rewards the greatest labor, and will condemn all who trifle with its sacred contents.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Today at dinner our son announced he's never having any children.  I so wish I could record that for future reference.  And he said if he was his own kid he would have shot him.  Oh my.  We told him how much we loved him.  Bless his little pinhead.

The conversation came about because I told them I'll be volunteering at the Baptist pregnancy crisis booth on Saturday.  I told them I was going to tell anyone who comes over that any idiot can get pregnant, but what takes brains is not getting pregnant.  That's when he said he's not having any kids.  Our sons are polar opposites.  The eldest never liked being an only child and he planned to have a huge family.  He's got two children, only because his wife said no more after two!  I miss them a lot.

I decided on which two Zumba routines I'll learn next.  I have one nearly memorized.  It's to the song "Turbo Style" by Beckah Shae.  It's a fun Christian song.  I decided to put off learning an old school '80s hip hop routine because I want two new fresh ones for October that aren't too saucy.  We're doing Zumba for the Catholic Fiesta.  Last year it was a lot of fun and the spectators were really enthusiastic.  Lots of good food there too.

Work tomorrow.  Boo.  But then it's payday and a three day holiday.  Yay!

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Head Covering

I've checked blogs so little that I didn't even realize Katherine and Shelby recently added glorious updates complete with photos.

A couple months ago I found a site called Wrapunzel.  It's a site about head covering and was created by a girl named Andrea.  She has a friend named Rivka.  What a pretty name, eh.  They are each delightful, lovely, smart, thoughtful, and godly.  What drew me to Andrea's site is that she has a passion, an absolute passion, for scarves and headcovering.  She loves them.  She is good with color.  She is creative.  She demonstrates in her videos and explains in detail how to create the head covering designs that she wears.  If you think about it, how many ways are there to put a scarf on yer head?  A couple ways, a few ways, maybe ten ways if you really wrack your brain.  But no!  It all has to do the color, scarf length, fabric, adding pins or necklaces (yes, necklaces on your headcovering); how you tie it such as knotting, braiding or wrapping; using multiple scarves; and then throw into the whole deal all the different COLOR combinations possible.  Well now, put that together and there may be a million ways to wears scarves on your noggin.

She covers for religious reasons.  She's an Orthodox Jew.  She's Canadian, living in the U.S, and she visits Israel.  I like one of her interviewees who said it felt like God was hugging her head when she wore her headcovering.  It gives you a certain awareness, I must say.

A few years ago I was considering covering my hair.  My friends and I on The LongHairLoom discussed it at length.  I decided that since I pray throughout the day, little short prayers, it wasn't practical for me to cover whenever I pray.  We have freedom in Christ.  But for Jewish married women it's part of the many laws they follow while they await the return of the Messiah.

She has a personal site also called Harmony and Synergy that I want to check out.

Which all brings me to my main point.  I took a few pictures today to show a dear friend how headcoverings can be so pretty!  I've been wearing scarves on my hair to church and to yoga and I get so many compliments.  The first time I was scared because I'm used to feeling like I need my hair to be attractive.  Well, to be semi-attractive.  Because my hair is long I get comments on its length and being a human being, we are all quite wrapped up with how our hair looks.  I don't leave any wisps out and I don't wear my bangs out.  In my mind I get to see what it must feel like to be a nun because all people can see is my face - just my plain face and no hair.  I think, if you're walking in the light, having your hair covered intensifies your walk.  Gives you a different awareness.  Makes you think.  It takes a big lot of courage I'll tell ya!  But I've had such positive comments that now I feel wonderful when I put on my headcovering.  I feel a little special.  A little regal.  A little strong.  A little different.  Set apart.  My headcovering reminds me that I'm the daughter of a king.  I'm a daughter of God.

I bought a rather expensive scarf about six years ago.  I had it in my head I wanted to wear one so I bought it and tried these directions --> Tzinius.   However, my experimentation was a complete, utter, failure.  It was such a waste of money and I was fully disappointed.  The scarf would not stay on my head!  It slid off, it slid off, it slid off, no matter which tie method I tried.  It's really stupid trying to be pretty with fabric on your head that's slipping off every five minutes, every time you turn your head.

So I have a couple photos of two styles that I now successfully wear.  And I never, repeat, never, have had it fall off my head.  I even do yoga in a headscarf with no problem and it's completely comfortable.  This first one is gray and pink.

Here is a top view.  This is a knotted style.

I have two scarves on.  I am wearing bigger bolder earrings when I wear my scarves.  
Or, sometimes no earrings at all.

This is my new Maybelline eye makeup that I like a lot.

Have a little class and take off your store tags.  I had no idea that was there till I looked at the photo.  Duh.  Also, you can add a headband.  See the gold headband?

 Here's the overall effect.

And another style with a shimmery red scarf over a black cotton scarf.  My husband said he likes me in the red.  I've been taking my cue from Andrea.  She says she gets her inspiration for colors from nature.  Isn't that a cool attitude?  So I've been going out on a limb trying new colors that before now I'd have never worn.  Red.  A new color for me.

This shows a side view.  See the shape in the back.  Well, you don't need hair to get that shape.  This photo is just my hair underneath, held by a Ficcare, but a shaper is used by most Jewish women.  I will show you my shaper in next post.  As Andrea says, there's a lot going on underneath a head scarf!

I really want to show how sparkly this scarf is.  Maybe the pic is too small.  See the mountain peak in the background?  My husband and I and some friends climbed to the top of it last March.

There is a secret to how you keep the scarf held in place.  And I will tell you all about it next time I post.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

I missed two opportunities to say something.  Sometimes if you don't speak up right away the opportunity is lost.  I wanted to say something at the memorial for Janet.  They invited people to come up and say something and I hesitated, I stood there and waited for someone to go first and no one did.  So disappointed in myself.  Janet was two years younger than I.  Her dad died a month ago.  She died a week ago.  Got sick and died.  Got lung cancer.  She smoked till the end.  Maybe she just decided the cancer was so far along she'd just continue doing what she was doing.  She got pneumonia.  I saw both her ankles were swollen.  I believe she expected to come back to work. 

I've been telling my friends I love them.  Sarah Lee told me she loved me the last time I saw here and she died only a week after.  She was a godly woman.  She told everyone she loved them and she meant it.

There's been a murder in our community of 4,000.  A man killed another man.  There are a lot of people hurting now.  Why do people have to kill?  Cain committed the first murder.  Tomorrow a lot of newspapers will be sold as people read up to see what the story is.

Had nine in Zumba today.  It was hot.  So, so hot.  The a/c can't keep it very cool inside because it's over 100 outside and 69 degrees at night.  I have a shy bunch for class.  I cannot get them to come to the front with me so when I'm on stage and they're in the back it leaves a ginormous spaced of nothingness between us.  Eats up energy.  I got a great idea today.  I went to them!  Haha!  I went to the back of the room with them.  There were plenty of smiles so I know I made the right move. 

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Church was oh so good this morning.  I went to the Spanish/English one.  It's a tiny church but it was packed this morning.  We got the last seats.  Kathy made us late.  Full of young people too.  My home church is full of very elderly people.  I love my home church but they desperately need a shot of young people.  The seniors are very accepting of individuals, which is good, but why are there so many seniors?  It might be the music, it's all hymns, but I'm not sure.  The preaching is excellent.  I don't know what causes an old church to be old with no influx of youth.

I've been hung up on this girl on the Wrapunzel site.  Two girls actually.  Andrea Grinberg and Rivka Malka.  They are so pretty and seem so sweet.  Isn't Rivka the most unusual name?  I love the two women who make the videos there and I love looking at and buying their scarves.  In the morning or at night when I can't sleep I think about my scarves, and make a dream out of their beautiful colors and then I drop off to sleep.

Today to church I wore three scarves: olive green, aqua blue, and purple.  Got compliments.  Felt wonderful.  Felt pretty.  I made the double braided scarf.  Was in a big rush to get ready.  Why do I not allot more time to getting ready?  Wore a floor length tie-dye wrap skirt and royal blue tank top with a black lace cardigan as a cover up.  I need a new pair of summer wedge sandals though. sells scarves that I can afford.  I've purchased twice from them and plan to purchase again soon.  I have a scarf problem probably, but life is short.  Collect scarves if they make you happy.  I also bought one for one dollar at the thrift store last week-end.  Man, the thrift store was depressing to walk through.  Made me feel sad except for the pretty little scarf I selected.

Went to yoga class yesterday morning.  Been going every Saturday morning.  Am preparing to set into motion my dream of becoming a Holy Yoga instructor by first taking yoga for one year.  My husband, I love him so much, drives me there.  It's 70 miles to the class one way.  I could, yes, could, take yoga here but if I do teach here I want to have completely my own style and not copy anyone who's already in town.  At first I thought, why even try Holy Yoga.  This town is saturated with yoga already.  But then I said to myself, but there is no Holy yoga here.

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

I would spend $2800 on the Holy Yoga training and teach yoga once a week for the rest of my life.

I've been wearing headscarves on the week-end as I practice tying and putting colors together and I look forward to experimenting with them.  My interest in yoga and my new found joy of headcovering, have been serendipidous.  They go together well.  Yesterday we were at IHOP and as we sat down I noticed the waitress looking at me.  I thought maybe I had spinach in my front teeth.  But she said, "You have calmness around you."  My goodness, I think I turned red and didn't know what to say.  But she made me feel happy.  Like my outside is matching my inside.  Then my husband spoke up and told her I had just come from yoga class.

Each yoga class is better than the last and yesterday was the best so far.  I've been going for a month and a half.

Because I'm preparing for Holy Yoga (I'm reading Brooke Boone's book), instead of emptying my mind as my yoga instructors say to do, I fill it with Scripture.  When they say clear all thoughts away, instead, I invite Jesus into my heart.  I'm so encouraged by what the waitress said to me.  I think it's a sign that I am on the right path.

Faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things not seen.

Work is excellent.  Looking forward to a three day week-end in a couple weeks - 4th of July.  Son just turned 17 last month and took it upon himself to open his own checking account.  We're so proud of him.  He did it all on his own.  He's working a lot this summer and is hardly ever home.  He helped Barry with putting in our new deck out front and Barry paid his $100 for a day's work.  I think that's very generous of Barry.  The deck is coming along beautifully.

Kathy is doing well.  Mayela is working so hard at her job.  They give her a little too much work there.  It's too much in the summer for one person.  She says next summer she may not do it.  She got real sick a week ago and isn't quite 100% yet.  She was quiet-ish today.  I don't know why.

Wednesday, May 07, 2014

 To tell her today.

"When the storms of life come our way we can choose to let it blow us out to sea or closer in the arms of Jesus."

Saturday, March 01, 2014

I got a nice compliment from my husband.  He was clicking through a million billion movies on Amazon looking for a movie for us to watch last night.  As he went by one called "Benjamin Button" I told him to go back and see how many stars it had.  It had four.  So I suggested we watch it.

It was good.  It has one f-word at the end unfortunately, but otherwise I like how they made the movie.  Brad Pitt is gorgeous and so talented.  My husband is a major romantic so he cried at all the sad and happy parts and being a guy he laughed heartily every time they showed a snippet of the guy getting hit by lightning.

And he asked me how I knew about the movie, because I rarely know diddly squat about any movies, and I said in my best droll voice, "Hello.  Like, I read."  And then he corrected me and told me I don't read!  Do so, I said.  And he said, "No, all you ever read is the Bible."

Heh.  And I felt pretty good.  I told him I gotta have a witness at Pearly Gates for that one!

Saturday, February 01, 2014

Why do I have to sign in to Google to make a blog entry?  I don't like that.

Greg got the job last week!  He's my new manager now.  I'm very happy working for him.  He puts on no airs.  He shares what he knows and is training me to learn his job.  When he thinks out loud it helps me a lot to see what he's thinking while he's working.  He talks easily and is not extremely quiet like our previous manager.  After the manager's meeting he sat and shared with me what was said.  I like that because I am interested in what goes on in the meetings.  I overhear other people discussing what transpired, but I had no inkling of what was going on because no one shared that information with me. 

I just got a dialog box that asks me if I want to share my location with  Do I want to share my location?  Coconut no, I don't want to share my location.  Who needs my location. What's the point. Why are they asking me for personal data.  That is real annoying.

So on Friday, Human Resources posted the job announcement for Greg's old job and I applied for it.  It's required to be posted for three days before they can do anything else.  I wonder if anyone else will apply.  I'm so pleased God has give me this opportunity for advancement.  I hope they just call me in and say "sign here" like they did when Greg advanced to Manager.  I'm excited to get my new job.  I will be a Purchasing Technician.  After they move me up to Greg's job then we can advertise for someone to fill my old position as Inventory Clerk.  I will have more time free for training for my new job and!  And I won't have to be on my feet quite as much.  Of course, we can't count our chickens before they're hatched, but I do expect a great and wonderful hatching.  God has good plans for us.  Actually, when He said that he was referring to Israel but I think He will not mind us applying it to our daily lives.

When I was going to work I got in a car accident on the 23rd.  A lady, a lady who attends my previous church, ran a stop sign and hit my driver side rear quarter panel.  That means she hit the back side/corner of my little Ford Focus.  It crunched most of the back end, spun me around, scrambled my brain, and made me hit a second SUV that was sitting at the stop sign.  I left a big piece of my bumper on the road, and my side airbag deployed.  That airbag saved me for sure from injury.  I went and got x-rayed because my shoulders and upper back hurt and the x-rays showed no damage.  I was relieved to know I was okay, but I was sore that day.  Still went to work because I can work and be sore just as well as I can lay around and be sore.  Everyone, the doctor included, said I'd be more sore the second day but I was less sore!  I attribute that to Zumba and the goodness of God.  Not necessarily in that order either.

She said, "The sun was in my eyes and I didn't see the stop sign."  At the time I wondered, why is she saying that?  It's 8am and we all witness the sun is up in the sky and to the right; me, the lady in the second SUV who stopped and helped me, the paramedics, and the police.

Now I wait for an insurance adjuster to tell us what the damage amounts to.  Our car is only two years old.  We still owe thousands on it.  It is not drivable so I have to drive my husband's big truck while my poor little car sits at the collision place for now.  I loved that little car.  Bought it with money I inherited from Uncle Jim.  Will they call it repairable or totaled?  How is this going to work out for us?  Badly?  I was anxious from thinking on it, but decided the anxiety serves no purpose.  Be anxious for nothing, God reminds us.  I have to let it go and pray God gives us wisdom to handle properly whatever comes our way.

Everything we have comes from God.  We owned the car.  The car does not own us.

But I feel really sad about my car.

I missed work on Tuesday two weeks ago.  Got a stupid virus.  Wanted to stay home a second day but couldn't bear to leave Greg at work alone.  Now I have a big, scabby, swollen cold sore on my upper lip.  If I'm not lucky I feel another one in my nose and another one on the corner of my mouth thinking about breaking out.  If I get three at once that will truly be a record for me.  I am a little tired from work, and Zumba, a car accident and a virus.  I have a bit of a ticklish cough.

Zumba is going exceedingly well though.  Thanks be to God.

A young woman stopped and helped me when I had the accident.  She was extremely compassionate.  Her first name was Maya or Mara and last name started with a G. She made sure I stayed seated till the paramedics came.  I was shaking.  I pray God will bless her for being so helpful to me.  I just couldn't think at first.  Took me five minutes, it seemed, to fumble about trying to get my driver's license out of my wallet.  I saw my sunglasses on the floor in the back.  Picked them up to put them back on but both the lenses were gone.  Popped out of the frame from the force of the hit I suppose.  The speed limit is 25 mph.  I don't think this much damage would have happened if she was going 25 mph.  She didn't brake at all before she hit me.

The rain falls on the just and the unjust alike.  The sun rises on the evil and the good.

My step-mom has been diagnosed with cancer in her breast.  They said it was precancerous but seems that was not so.  She anticipates she will have to have a mastectomy.  That's what the doctor told her.  But the good news is it hasn't spread from the breast.  That's very good news.  I called her right away.  Tried not to cry.  I prayed for her over the phone and we talked a long time.  She tends to be quite stoic and true to form, she is matter-of-fact about this and makes it clear has all her faith in God.  So we will navigate this road with God before us, beside us and behind us.  He is the God of angel armies.  Always by our side.  She said He is fighting her battles for her and she already knows who wins.

Our God is a good God.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Tomorrow I get baptized.

They haven't advertised the Manager job in the newspaper, but they got two or three apps besides Greg's.  I still believe Greg is the most qualified candidate.  We'll see what goes next week.  I bet they interview next week.  They know we need a third person soon.

I cooked up a smoothie.  Unsweetened coconut milk, wheat germ, ice, blueberries, 1 tbsp. honey, 1/2 cup orange juice, one banana, one scoop protein powder, one scoop vanilla ice cream.  I'm going to put it a bit less of ice cream each time I make it, but for now I want to be sure to make one that my husband will like.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

I work in the Materials Management department as an inventory clerk and our manager walked out last Wednesday!  He quit. They increased my hours from 20 a week to 38 (which I agreed to) and every day so far has been a blur.  I've been so busy!  I never worked anywhere where a  boss just walked out like that.

My new hours are 8-4:30pm, MWF, and 8-3pm, T/TH.  With these hours I can come home and rest a bit before Zumba.  I was so tired tonight before Zumba but it's amazing...I do Zumba and always feel better afterward.  Tonight I had 19 students.  It was so very much fun.  When we were ready to do the last song, a stretch routine, one of the women said, "Is it over already?"  Haha!  Yeah, I had 59 minutes of dance-fitness in the playlist.  The music makes the hour go by so quickly.

Today I learned the first half of creating a purchase order.  I learned how to replenish the Med-Dispense drawers in the Emergency Department.  I like working with Greg.  He is never mean or rude.  He's real easy to work with.  And he's training me to do his job.  He's trained me since I first hired on so it feels natural and I'm comfortable working with him.  He applied for the manager job and I feel confident that he'll get it.  He knows the computer system well and he knows the inventory extremely well, and he provides good customer service.  He's a shoo-in in my opinion.  The Human Resources lady is gone till Thursday so we're waiting to see if they advertise the position or just interview him.  Whatever they do they better do it fast because it's a lot of work for two people and there's no part of it we can just ignore until we do get a manager.  We have to deliver supplies.  We have to receive shipments.  We have to order the supplies.  There's nothing we can put off or take a short-cut on.

My step-mom is having a lumpectomy.  I hope it's a small lump and we're so happy she needs no further treatment.  We're all so glad. We've been concerned for three weeks.

Saturday, January 04, 2014

No Revelation Wellness scholarship for me.  Meh.  Too bad, so sad.  I do wish Lisa would have emailed me and confirmed as soon as she knew that I didn't get anything.  She could have spared me a long week of anticipation and hope and wondering.

So where does this leave me.  Surely I don't need this one single certification.  I won't deny, it woulda been nice!  But it was a "wanna have" not a "hafta have."  Right?  (I try to convince myself.)

I sure wish I had listened to my dance teachers all those years when they explained what the muscles were that caused each movement.  I thought it dull and tuned it out. I just wanted to move.  Psoas?  Pish posh, who cares where it is and what it does?  Well, 25 years later, I do.  Should have applied myself more.  "Shoulda, woulda, coulda" as my husband says.

What do I want.  I'm most interested in developing flexibility and strength.  Now Yoga seems like the perfect thing but I'm not into the eastern aspect of yoga and this town is already saturated with yoga and masseuses anyway.  One of my favorite college classes was called "Stretch and Flex."  My dance instructor taught it.  That's the kind of class I would like to lead here.  It would complement Zumba.  And stretching, flexibility, strength and balance are so important to everyday living.

One thing she said that has always stuck with me was "How do you define physically fit?"  How?  She said, "If you can do everything you want to do, then that is physically fit."  So if you wanna climb cliffs or be an extreme skateboarder you gotta have a certain level of fitness to do that.  If you wanna be able to vacuum and do the marketing, you have to have a certain level of fitness for that.  She absolutely loved dance, but had a back injury.  It was sad, but she still taught.  She said she wanted to set an example and she did.  She wasn't the best dancer but she loved dance with a passion.

Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

What a glorious day.  I got up kind of early, I forgot what time, but it was earlyish.  Got on my computer.  Took a shower.  Washed my hair.  Went on the "Walk Across the Dam" at noon and it was a beautiful walk.  This is a pic of some of my Zumba crew.  The end of the dam had a fence so I said we have to all touch the fence to make our walk complete before we go back.

On your left is Mayela, my closest friend.  She's Costa Rican.  Next, with the cap is Jeanie from New York.  She was married 30 years and her husband passed on only a few months ago.  She is grieving, and misses him so much, but she smiles often in spite of her pain.  Me in the middle.  Then Kathy with the gray scarf.  She is the one who goes hard for Jesus.  She is the servant leader to goes to Juarez with Bibles, food, clothing, and the Good News.  She talks a lot and if I'm on my deathbed it's she that I would call for to talk to me about the Lord when I'm on my way out of the world.  Then the blond is Susan and she's my new prayer partner from my new Baptist church.  

I cooked last night.  Beef teriyaki with broccoli.  Or rather, beef teriyaki with broccoli mush.  I microwaved the broccoli, then put it in the pan to saute it with the onion and it was immediately apparent that that's too much cooking for the poor little broccolies.  I was still exceedingly pleased with myself because all the chopping and preparing was effort, and I gave myself credit for that.  The people eating it, otherwise called "my family" were down in the mouth because the specter of my main dish was, admittedly, visually disgusting.  Yet I am discouraged not!  This cooking thing is a process.  I will make it a second time and I just know it'll be better.  I made a salad for my husband tonight and we've eaten greens like three times last week.  I was practicing for the rollout of 2014!

"Holy motion."  I read about it on The Christian Post.  I like that term.  I found it in "However, the idea that holy motion toward the things of God indicates saving faith is not works salvation at all. Rather it highlights an important distinction: there is a difference in the efficient cause of salvation and the evidences of that salvation."

Tomorrow it's back to work and back to Zumba.  We had no Zumba Tuesday and I sure missed it.  We all did.  I hope for big classes this month!

Our God is great and greatly to be praised.  I'm still asking God to let me get that scholarship for Revelation Wellness.  I will find out by Friday.  They wrote me and said "depending on circumstances" I may still get a scholarship.  I've no idea what those circumstances can be, but  I want it so badly.  Now I'm waiting on the Lord.  I've done my part.  He knows already how it will turn out and he knows my heart - for better or for worse.  In the meantime, I am exercising my faith muscles as I await an answer from the Rev Well peeps.

Sometimes I think I'd be really good at it and sometimes I worry and think I have no right to be even thinking I can do it.