Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Improv, and I am breathless

I had tribal class tonight from 6:00 to 7:00pm. I wore my Melodia pants for the first time. These are the coolest belly dance pants with enormous bell bottoms and mine has a triangular sewn-on sash. Over them I added my tribal scarf with two rows of awesome fringe. Wore my hair down in a half-up. Got to class (it's in downtown) and there were so many trick-or-treaters going by that my teacher chirped, "Let's do improv and solos outside on the corner tonight!" Whuh? I was the only student who showed up for class. I've danced in front of an audience a handful of times over the years, always as a student, and never improv. Yiiiipes!

But courageous was I. I said, "Uhhhhhhhhhh, okay." And she and I danced together. ...To songs I have never heard.

...I was not that bad. She's very talented, but I didn't shame myself at least. I didn't do anything amazing or memorable, but I think I held my own passably. I was so, so nervous and it caused me to sweat so much that I built up a powerful case of underarm stink by the end of the evening. Fear does that! I don't usually sweat very much and when I got the shocking sniff that was me, I was so self-conscious I kept my arms down for the rest of class. Yeah, belly dancing with arms down. Haha! Fortunately the offensive odor didn't come on till about 8:00pm, so it was just our class, the second class, inside the studio by then. I sure hope no one noticed.

A friend came by and watched us dance for a bit and later after practice he and his wife dropped our son off and he told me I danced nice. I said, "You saw me? When?" And he said they were right in front of me and took a bunch of pictures. He said, "Didn't you see us?" He was really surprised I didn't, and I was too, but I tell you I did not see them! Evidently I was so nervous that I looked right at them and never saw them. Isn't that crazy? Nerves. They're funny, aren't they. Actually, it's probably a good thing I couldn't see them because who knows what could have transpired then. I might have tripped or something really lame.

I didn't take my dance sandals with me, so I danced barefoot on the sidewalk. Stubbed my next to the pinkie toe. It was bleeding a teensy bit. I told my teacher I should not do any more spins or turns.

When I got home I thanked the Lord for a body that operates efficiently (fairly so, we'll say), that takes me where I want, that healed well after I tried to destroy it, and even looks nice to boot. I saw people smile as we danced, women and children and men, and I smiled back. The crowd waxed and waned. The littlest kids were darling in their costumes and we ran out of candy in just one hour. A few guys in pick-up trucks may have hurt their necks as they drove by. The hour flew by. It makes me want to try harder.

I sat here so long thinking of what to type next that I noticed my keyboard actually says Q W E R T Y on the top left. Gosh, I'm so deep. I thought qwerty was merely a crazy word invented to describe the crazy arrangement of the letters on a keyboard. I didn't realize my keyboard actually spells out qwerty. Such a good word for Scrabble, isn't it. 'Luxury' is my favorite word for hangman.

Boy howdy, our son went out with family friends and scored such a load of candy that it'll last him clean through February. He was ebullient. He dressed up as the character of Jughead from Archie comics.

I got to look up at the New Mexico sky as I danced. I did snake arms down low then to my sides and worked them all the way up as high as I could. With my breath I did control and release, (yes, my brain was working partially, albeit on cruise control) and I swayed my arms to and fro with a small measure of grace. Well, with all the grace I could the leaves at the very top of a tree. If you are close up to me you can see my hands tremble slightly and steadily. With my hips I did a slow Maya, side to side. Smooth, relaxing, and hypnotic, I hope. It's one of my best moves. Both times I've belly danced in public I've been able to look up and see the sky. The first time was a night sky with hundreds of bright stars, and tonight was sunset with a line of pink orange on the horizon. It was good.

I am breathless.

I want to do it again.

A Psalm I like

Psalm 149:3
Let them praise his name in the dance: let them sing praises unto him with the timbrel and harp.

I found this tonight. Yeah, like I'm the first one to find it.

And I think to begin and finish with 'Selah' is ideal. 'Selah' in Hebrew means to meditate, or be silent and pray. Only in silence can I hear His still small voice. I like to shout sometimes too. It's a powerful outward affirmation. Sometime tomorrow I'm going to do a shout. :)

Tuesday, October 30, 2007


I had a bun photo that was getting too many visitors. Kinda weird. So I deleted it.

I forgot

I forgot to pray at a certain time yesterday. We were gone all day and I didn't switch on my computer till we came home. My reminders are there. How could I forget? How could I forget. How could I forget. I feel so bad. I prayed before and after, but I wanted to pray during. Instead, I was at the mall thinking about which color leggings to buy, pink or orange. I thought about myself all day. I don't know why. Usually I pray for someone, somebody, at some point during the day. It just happens. And I think of one, so I think of another. How could I have had such an empty prayer day all day. What am I made of. What happened with my mind. This is the worst prayer time incident ever. I could just cry. I already did. Sigh. It didn't help.

Sunday, October 28, 2007


A small selection of pics I took last summer. I thought none of them very good at the time. I think they're kind of good tonight.

He is scratching his chin on the fence post and I thought it was the funniest thing! He was a friendly horse and I wasn't afraid of him.

A cropduster. Photo taken through our windshield. The plane flew right in front of us and was our bit of excitement for the day. I think he was showing off!

You'd never guess this peaceful setting is directly across the street from a bustling KOA Kampground in the great state of New York. Although, we are against turnpikes.

One day a dragonfly sat down beside me.

Taken with my little camera (not my big one I mean), this was the most spectacular sunset of our entire stay at Devils Tower, Wyoming. I had not seen clouds like these before. They were almost like inside out clouds or something. I thought they were rather ominous looking. See the sign next to the road. That's actually a turnout and the whole area is the prairie dog town. I spent many hours right here along this road. I went in the cool of the morning and again in late afternoon. Midday was sweltering, boiling, burning hot.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Transferring data and sword dancing

I'm transferring photos to CD so my husband can have this laptop. I don't like this job. I hate it. It's administrative - keeping organized and what not. On the up side, with some time separating me from the moment I took the photos I have a fresher eye to divvy up the keepers from the not keepers.

I've been real sleepy this week-end.

Did you see the glorious moonrise on Friday night? It was lovely. Its light reflected off of the lake so prettily. And today there were a lot of sailboats on the lake.

On Friday night I was flyin' after bellydance. No one else came to intermediate class which meant basically, I had my own one-on-one dance class! I told my teacher I have long wanted to learn sword dancing as a specialty and she said, "I have my sword in the car. I'll go get it." Whoa! I had so much fun. I danced with it balanced on my head. When you get better you can balance it on your tummy and your chest too. You need to have excellent control over your isolations, and I do. Your head must remain quite still whilest the rest of you dances. And you dance slooow. That's just my speed. lol! I can shimmy with it on my head too though!

So she gave me lots of pointers and I did it four or five times. She showed me how when you enter the stage you walk in a circle to claim your space and you should think of it as an opalescent bubble and you own it. I decided to make my bubble glowing magenta in my mind, but I didn't tell her that. She said it's important to do this so you aren't distracted by any negative energy from the audience and so people know they aren't allowed in your space while you dance. An example of negative energy is when one time my other dance teacher was up to dance. Right before her music started there was some raucous laughter in the restaurant and someone made a loud comment. Now maybe they were talking about something else completely, but I think they were being mean. This could be hard on a dancer.

Okay. The other thing is, respect the sword. They aren't sharp, but they can be heavy and they're still dangerous. You won't be wanting to drop it on your toe or anybody else's toe. It's a prop but you must give it respect and be very showy to make the audience think it's rather dangerous and build up the suspense. Do some flourishes with it, etcetera. Don't just walk up to it and plop it atop your head, um, like I did the first time. You can use some music up just getting the mood set. If you've seen sword dancing it's often done with a turban on the head. Dancers know this way is easier because you can fit the sword in a crease of the fabric. It still requires good balance but the turban provides a bit of confidence. If you're outside even a wind can move the sword. We have a fan in the studio and I noticed it moved my sword. I told my teacher I intended to do it with a turban and she said I ought to practice with it just on my head and that if I can do it just on my head, on my hair, it is known to be more difficult and thus, more impressive to other dancers. Well, naturally a dancer wants to impress other dancers. Ha!

I'm so out of shape. I need more stamina. I rode my bike a couple miles today and I was pooped. Sheesh.

Here is a YouTube example of a sword dance. This one is beautiful in its simplicity. There's another vid of a girl who does floorwork, but I'll put it up another time. In practice, I was able to get down to my knees but couldn't quite get up without the sword tipping. These ladies are Irish. Yeah man, bellydance is in Ireland! My costume is tribal as theirs are, but mine does not show any tummy. You can be covered and still be, I think, exceedingly beautiful. The costume is exceedingly beautiful, I mean.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Back to work

My sis is back to work today. The schools are out until Monday though, so the boyzzz are home.

Son found his hat. It was in the back of the Polaris from when he and my husband were doing park maintenance. This hat is irreplaceable. It's the Jughead hat. I was fit to be tied because they both thought it was lost at the school. I phoned the school and they said it was not found. Husband wanted me to talk to the teacher again and ask her to check with all the parents to see if the hat had been taken home...inadvertently. I didn't want to do that - the teacher is strung so tight. She's got her panties in a wad every time I've spoken to her (three times), so I asked my husband to speak to her. He said okay, but doesn't have to now. Whenever I talked with her and the pastor was with us she was so upbeat, but when I speak to her by myself she is not helpful. She's a good teacher I think and our son likes her a lot. He did tell me that she answered her cell phone during class time and was gone so long on the phone that the science experiment failed. (We are against cell phones in public places.) Son has asked for a cell phone scrambler for Christmas so people's phones won't ring during church or in restaurants. lol! I hate cell phones. People are attached to them as if they're intravenous nourishment. At reading time our son answered a question about the book they're doing for read aloud and the teacher was shocked that he knew the book and could participate in discussion. It's a classic for goodness sakes.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Flannel Sheets

We put flannel sheets on the beds today!

My family in San Diego has been fine through the fire. The highest winds are diminishing now or by tomorrow. There are still winds fanning the fires though. The magnitude of the fire is almost unimaginable. It's been nervewracking watching the online news all day and keeping an eye on my email. I'm not complaining though. This is one of those times when the news media is at its best.

Got my bead shipment and I'm really pleased with them. I ordered from because they offer free shipping and no minimum purchase. The beads totally look in real life like they do on my computer. "Shazaam!" as Uncle Jim says. This means I can order seed beads from them with confidence. One thing wrong though. I bought 36 4mm fire opal bicone Swarovskis and one is garnet. Bummer. I will write Artbeads and see what they say. I don't think I'll do the parrots yet because I really don't like the translucent pink beads. They're pretty, but not right for the design. I did two rows on the serpent earrings tonight. My base row gave me fits, but I got past it.

Friday night I'm to do a freestyle solo dance in belly dance. I'm nervous. I'm putting together some choreography comprised of steps and moves I like and do well, but I'm not sure which song to use. I have to make a pick by tomorrow. Yeah, I know it's "free" style but I'm afraid I'll go frenetic, so I'm putting together some tried and true steps so I won't flake out or do a Marie Osmond in front of everybody.

Folks still home

She said some places said they should evacuate and others didn't include them (their area), so they're staying. Can't see any fire, cell phones are working, and they still have power. She said the wind is really bad. Her tomater plants are all dead - dried out and beaten by the winds.

Monday, October 22, 2007

I phoned

My dad's taking the '71 Chevy Corvette to a friend's house just in case of evacuation. He doesn't think they'll be evacuated, but just in case, he says. He's a car guy. Thing is, I don't think his '53 Buick is refurbished enough to drive it anywhere. That's his current baby.

They're going to Aunt Dennie's if there's an evacuation. Said people are calling him every five minutes while he's trying to get out of the house to move the cars!

They'll email me, if possible, if they have to go.


We're keeping an eye on My dad and his wife have a house in the small community of Alpine. Harbison Canyon, just five miles to the southwest, was evacuated. Hwy. 8 is closed from Alpine and to the east to all trucks and high profile vehicles.

And Ramona is burning - 10 miles to the north.

Welp, we've got a fever here

His temperature is 103.5. He slept for two hours this afternoon and is lying on the sofa drifting off again. I'm going to make him some chicken soup when my husband gets back with the ingredients.

My bead shipment didn't come in. I called and they'll send a new shipment if it doesn't get here by the 26th. I don't think it's lost though. I think it's just slow.

Last Thursday I went into the nursery at the private school to help with the babies since our son was in a class. I sat in the sanctuary area and I heard a baby crying for so long I could not bear it any longer. I held the one that was crying. She was teething they said and had a sensitive tummy. She was happy being held, but I could only stay 15 minutes and I was sorry to leave her. She cried as soon as I set her down. Then they all started crying again! I did ask one young woman to pick up a baby in a baby seat. Each time the baby nodded off she'd wake up because her lungs would get squashed when she tipped over. The childcare worker was cleaning a cupboard. Really, the cupboard can wait. The girl explained she needed to clean it and I just nodded. I went in the next day, but all babies appeared content and the young women didn't need an extra set of hands.

It felt odd to me giving gentle direction to the childcare workers, and moreso that they followed through without question. It's not my job to be in the nursery. They didn't even know me. It must be my age and a confidence that I didn't own when I was younger. I think it's the grey hair. I'm not bossy. Never have been, never will be. But I could see what needed to be done. When did I become so soft hearted for babies? It seems changes in my life occur so gradually that I cannot see it. It just suddenly 'is.'

And last week I sat in the sanctuary and prayed while our son was in his class. He goes to science lab on Thursdays and art class on Fridays. In the quiet I could hear the little kids next door in the childcare room. These were not infants but older, I don't know what age because I couldn't see them. One was saying "I want my mommy, I want my mommy, I want my mommy." He was upset for quite a while and the childcare person was not too happy with his behavior whatever he had been doing. I felt bad and sad. I'm grateful to be an at-home mom. I hope my future grandchildren will have at-home mothers.


Where did the week-end go? And, pray tell, on Friday why did I think a bean burrito was a good idea 90 minutes before a dance class???

Son is tearful today because his hat is lost. We cannot find it. We think it's somewhere in the trailer, but have not been able to locate it. He is unusually attached to that Jughead hat. I'm going lightly on the hsing today because I do not have his full attention. I think he's a little sick too. I think he's slightly feverish which is making him more emotional.

Last night I started my parrot earrings. I'm a little disappointed with the pink beads though. They're actually translucent, not opaque. It's tricky learning the finer points of bead selection. They looked opaque in the tube because they're all bunched together. I decided to go ahead and start the pattern even though the pinks aren't what I planned. Maybe it will look nice anyway? My shipment for supplies to make the serpent earrings might be in today. My husband is going to check the post office for me this afternoon.

My work-out schedule is coming together nicely. Maybe I'll make something of myself this winter. On Wednesdays I'm in an American Tribal Style class from 6-7pm. I haven't done the first class yet, but I'm sure to enjoy it. And same night from 7:30-8pm is beginning belly dance. My friend says she's going this week. I went on Friday to try it out and it's very beginning, so she'll really like it I think. And wonder of wonders, the teacher invited me to take the intermediate/advanced class (I'm intermediate) on Fridays and I don't have to pay. She asked me to stay and I said, no, I can't pay for three classes and she said, "That's okay. I want you to stay. We need you." Hmmm. I don't know about that, but I say hooray! So Wed., Thurs., and Fri. I'm all set right here in town. If we drive to Cruces on Mondays I dance from 5-7pm there.

My son is so weepy. I have to go comfort him.

Friday, October 19, 2007

A bee

I opened the screen door to let a fly fly out and a bee flew in. Sheesh.

Dance class at 5:30pm so I hafta git ready. I think I'll eat a fideo and bean burrito, but I better do it now.

Today the pastor at the private school asked me to think about teaching geography to the upper grades next year. She said they'd make arrangements for our son to attend class while I was there. We'd get free tuition too, I think. Next year though - that's eons away. I do like to teach but I have only taught my own, as in one.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Out my window

I look out my window.

There is a man walking his cat.

I'm not kidding.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

A day

All day long I felt blah, but we had a potluck to go to so I had to clean up and get ready to go. Turned out we had a good time. Actually, we always have a good time at our ranger's house. He and his wife are very social and sociable and we've grown very fond of them. My husband made deviled eggs and Mexican dip with chips. People always eat up all the deviled eggs! I met people that I liked. Who, me, like people? I did. It's true.

I'm taking my ranger's wife to a beginning belly dance class next week. I hope it's a good teacher, a good class, and that she'll enjoy it.

Shoot. The showers are far from luxurious here and so all the olive oil didn't come out of my ends. Boo. Now I have stringy ends and clean hair. That's no good. No good a'tall. Guess I'll just figure it's well moisturized and bear it. The 39 m.p.h. winds dried it very fast though.

There's a reason why I don't feel so good. I have a big cold sore. Herpes is what it is. Boo. The down side is half my face sorta hurts because of it and it makes me feel grumpy all day long. The up side is it's inside my nose so no one can see it. Well, it better than a big, ugly, scab on my lip. That's the silver lining on my storm cloud of the day.

Monday, October 15, 2007

A day

It was a full day today. After school I raced to get ready for class and we left at 3:50pm. Shoulda left at 3:30pm. But I got there a little after five so that's good time. Dance went real well. This teacher is certified in Egyptian dance and she's going to Cairo for a month long workshop of classes with famous dancers in Egypt. Not bad, not bad! I'm finally getting into some kind of shape and I felt better, not so crickety.

After class we went to Denny's for din-din and I felt like a million bucks. I don't know what it was, but as I walked through the restaurant in my jeans over my leotard, I felt like I had really long legs. Yeah, I felt like I was 5'10" or something. When my husband sees a pretty girl who's tall he says in his low voice, "There's a tall drink of water." Hmmm, I could never be called a smooth talker, but I can be a smooth walker. 'Fraid I'm only 5'2" though, so it might have been all my own imaginings. But I would like to be tall someday. I'll put it on my Christmas list.

I've had two good hair days. Wore it up in a pony yesterday and it was all straight and purty like a waterfall. And tonight I wore it up in a pretty bun, one of the kind I probably won't be able to duplicate. Oiled my ends because I'll probably worsh it maƱana.

Saw Ivan the other day when our son got a haircut and I told him to pencil me in for March (for a trim). He gave me some good info on how to do a better haircut on my husband. People always think my husband is an ex-Marine because I give him a Marine haircut. I like Marines and their hair but actually it's just the only style I know how to do. Anywho, my husband said Ivan likes me. I said, "Whuh? How do you know?" And he said Ivan sure smiles a lot when I'm there. Heh. That Ivan. I do like him but I can't see that he gives me a thought. He was real sad because his horse ate locoweed and got sick. I guess if a horse eats that stuff, a lot of it, he'll never be the same. The horse recovered but forgot everything Ivan taught him. Ivan has a ranch you know. So he had to sell his horse. Ivan owned him for eleven years and took the loss pretty hard. He's an honest man, which makes me like him, so he told the people what had happened and they still wanted to buy him. He got $700.00 for the horse, but it was worth $3,000 before the locoweed.

I finished my second pair of peacock earrings. I like them so much. If I lie in bed and I can't go to sleep, I just think of my peacock earrings till I drop off. Well, simple minds they say. I ordered stuff to make a new design - serpent earrings. I will see how it is ordering beads online. I'm curious to see if the colors I picked really do go together and whether they resemble what I saw online. It's tough because the colors you see all depend on your monitor's settings. And it's all about color when you're beading.

Speaking of which, we're supposed to get our new monitor tomorrow. I have to still transfer millions of photos, plus my various and sundry programs from this laptop to CD. The desktop will be mine and my husband will get this one. I'm not too very much looking forward to getting set up on the new machine. I hope I can find my Photoshop CD. Uh-oh. Gettin' a crick in my neck thinking about transferring everything...

Saturday, October 13, 2007

I want something back

The whites of my eyes.

I wake up, they're red. I got to sleep, they're red. I use Visine to get the red out before I put on eye make-up, and they're pink. It just isn't fair.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Quail, and other birds

I put seed and water out every evening and sometimes in the morning too. Today there was an unusual bird. He was black with an orange chest and a white line on his wings. He was something. And I also saw a bird of prey, a hawk, I think. He was brown and white and of a good size. The quail wouldn't come and eat this evening, so I think the hawk was lurking nearby. I saw him fly down behind a bush across the street.

Ballet went well. It's not terribly challenging, but I worked up a sweat. One of the ladies has so much trouble with the choreography, but she's a trooper. I admire her for that. We have 1/3 of a dance done. No class next week though. Bummerinksi. I wrote down the steps so I don't forget it. Teacher was helping the other students and giving them encouragement and she said, "Liliana is learning more here than anywhere she's ever been." And she winked at me. Ha! That was sweet.

Hmmm. I am content.

Someone I know left today. She up and quit her job - a good job. I don't know her personally, but I think her personal life has caused her to quit her job. I am sorry for that. The law of seed and harvest applies everywhere in our lives. I think she chose men badly. I think a small town makes it worse. I like a small town and I am tired of the city, but each has its drawbacks. Each can drive a person mad.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

A nice day

I finished the body on a peacock earring and tomorrow I'll bead the tail, then I'll have a second set done. Yay! I think I have all the beads I need to start a parrot set. I can't believe I finished the body in one night. I'm getting faster because it's my fourth one.

There was a rainstorm today replete with rainbow, lightning, thunder, and great cloudery, or should I say cloudification. It put off a beautiful golden light at dusk and we watched the color change from peach to magenta. Everyone in the loop came out of their RVs and people were walking around oohing and aahhing and taking pictures.

Son scored 88% on his history test over the First Americans. I am so proud of him. Now we're learning about the Vikings. I was taught in school that the Pilgrims were the first white people to hit America, but they weren't. There's evidence that the Vikings were here in about 900 or 1000 A.D. according to carbon dating.

Hair dilemma. My husband commented the other day that my hair smelled nice, but I had used that really harsh Clairol Shimmerlights to brighten grey. It's got some serious scent that lasts for days. It makes my ends way dried out though. Tomorrow I'm thinking I'll shampoo with Giovanni and try using the Shimmerlights creme rinse on my head just for the fragrance, then use a more moisturizing creme rinse, Giovanni, on the rest. I wonder if the Shimmerlights creme rinse will dry out my hair?

I ordered two books from Amazon on Sunday and look forward to getting them. They ought to be here by Friday. I got the The Reagan Diaries and The Forgotten Ways: Reactivating the Missional Church. DHL is delivering them. Yesterday the tracking information showed they were in Kansas City. Great, I thought. But I checked today and they're in Ohio. Whuh?

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Day in and a day out

I had a pretty unremarkable day today. There's really not even anything to blog. I thought, I have to come up with something. Since when do I have nothing to blog?

I didn't go to Ladies Bible Study tonight. I will ask when the videos will be over and maybe they'll be doing a good, normal book and I'll go back. I don't know really.

The other day I threw away my yellow dress that I made. I've had it for three years and I always put it on after I go to the campground shower because that way my good clothes don't touch the wet cement and I don't have to fight with putting on a bunch of garments. Easy on, easy off, you know. Plus it's easier when you're damp and you don't have a bathroom suite or even your own bathroom to dawdle. I say bathroom like bAAHthroom as if I'm British. Sounds quite fancier that way.

And it was a good, worthy dress I'll say. When we first arrived to New Mexico I was so content in my yellow dress that I didn't take it off for four days. I could wake up in the morning and look just chipper and sharp pressed as anything in that dress. It never looked like I slept in it. But one morning I popped up out of bed, all happy and pre-dressed (hair a little messy, but...) and my husband said, "Will you please change out of that dress today. I'm getting embarrassed. You've worn it since we got here." Well, blow me down. Luckily, it didn't hurt my feelings at all. Here's a picture of the dress in July 2005.

So I thought it had had its time and decided to replace it. I bought a spaghetti strap dress with elasticized bodice and a pinkish palm tree pattern. But I found it doesn't fit quite right. The straps are too long. I can fix that, but the dress hangs kind of potato sackie in a bad way. It's possible I made a tactical error in throwing away my trusty yellow dress. Well, yellow green because the yellow got tinged with green from the leaves on the flowers in the print, so it was sort of a pukie yellow green, not quite a chartreuse.

Maybe I will try to make a new one.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Slain in the Spirit

I have never felt convicted to fall down at an alter call (Slain in the Spirit) or to speak in tongues (glossolalia). I suppose it was easy for me to overlook all last year since the speaking in tongues at church was neither loud, nor long. I figured if people around me felt convicted to do so, fine, and if the pastor did it fine, it didn't really affect me.

Last week I went to Ladies Bible Study and they're studying "Randy Clark's School of Healing and Impartation" that night. Impartation is when someone supernaturally receives a word, thought, feeling, vision about someone else's health. They share their word, thought, feeling, vision given to them through the Holy Spirit and if you think it's you they're talking about, you say so. If you get healed you, in the audience, wave one or two arms depending upon how healed you feel, then the person up front who gave the word has an idea whether or not their Holy Spirit imparted word, thought, feeling, vision affected someone. Randy Clark says when you pray for someone far away you never know if the prayer has any effect. What a safe way to pray, he says. I want to say for the record, that I don't see it that way at all.

We ladies tried it in our own small group and suffice to say while I had reservations about it, at the same time it was a heady experience. Hmmmm. Let me see what phrase comes to my mind right now. Could it be "instant gratification?" And as I watched the video I was thinking it reminded me of E.S.T. Remember EST back in the mid-80s? I went to one meeting and they told you to go get $400.00 and sign up. No, they said sign up for $400.00 then use the E.S.T. power to attract that money to yourself! They'll just take you to court if you don't actually pay. It was really big at the time. I told my friend forget it. I was single and raising my son by myself and no amount of E.S.T. power was going to attract $400.00 to me. I wish.

Then, last Sunday there was guest speaker, a pastor from Texas, of whom also is quite the real estate mogul. His church has grown, his prayers for abundant housing in the town answered, and the land God told him to purchase has resold for multi-millions. He gave an alter call for anyone to come up who wants to experience financial prosperity such as he has. This means he says a prayer over everyone and confers, anoints, or imparts, potential $$$ success upon those believers. I was one of the few who didn't go up to get some. Surely, I do not wish to be poor, but to have enough is all I need. I think one can flourish without a big bank account. I am not against immense economic success for anyone. The pastor can have a fleet of Hummers for all I care, and if he's worked for it he deserves it. It's just not one of the things I seek.

My reservations built up till finally I had to write my people and get some input. A person needs some balance, a solid place from which to branch out. I was lost for a minute, but nobody let me down. I must be very rich with Christian women friends. And next I hunkered down with my Bible.

Well, I have to write more later. My eyes are killing me. We drove to Cruces today and we were gone from 3:15pm till 9:30pm. The upshot is I'm afraid I gotta change churches. I like it there though and I've grown so much there. 'Tis sad I should have to leave. Maybe they're changing direction now and that's why none of this came up to me last year. Sigh. I still love Jesus and I like being a Christian. The religion part proves to be a bit thorny however.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

The stars

Tonight I get to sleep under the beautiful stars. It gives me time to think.

Religion is very big. You have to keep vigilant. Ask the questions. Get the answers. I almost got drowned by the World Wide Web.

I'm off to my cot and to think about charismatics and 'charismania' and gifts and. There's a period after and.

And to think about how lucky I am to have my online girlfriends. They smooth the upsettedness out of my everyday days. They help me think straight. Fill me up with love. That's a good deal for a cranky old Lil.

Friday, October 05, 2007


Today my husband said, "Liliana, you are a caution."

I like that. I am a caution!

And I found out I made the cut. I go to sleep happy. :) :) :)

Wednesday, October 03, 2007


That's what they studied at the Ladies Bible Study and Prayer Group last night. I am not sure what to think. I've read some about it online but I can read opinions about what everyone thinks till I'm blue in the face. It doesn't really help me. So I'm waiting to see what my solid Christian homegirls say about it. Them, I trust.

The teaching was a video of Randy Clark and his School of Healing and Impartation. It's for revival and to increase faith. It's not prophesy.

Did I experience something or did I experience nothing. Is it real and true and from God, the Holy Spirit, or is it fake and from people. Not that the people are bad, but they are misguided.

"He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed." Prov13:20

A decision will not be made until I hear back from my people!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

This and that

October got here in a hurry. I didn't even realize it. I've gotta go take a shower for ladies' prayer group tonight. Sunday was awful. We moved to our winter site, only two loops away, but it didn't go well and the weather was hot so we had to do our move in the sun. My face was really, really red and then I felt punky the following day. I don't think I sweat like I'm supposed to anymore or something. For reals, my face was bright red, but dry as a bone. Thought I might barf and this guy was talking at me and I couldn't keep up any conversation. I opted to be politely attentive, but my eyeballs might have rolled up to the back of my head. Sometimes seniors just don't notice if you don't feel well.

I wonder what the ladies are doing for their book study.

School went well today. Dance went well last night. I feel guilty my husband is driving me, but my body and my mind like to dance. It makes me a better wife. I'll have to think about it. My husband set up a strap for me on the picnic table so I can do back-ups. I thought of it and asked him to and he had a perfect strap. You know, you lay on the table with your waist hanging off the edge and then go up and down like sit-ups but it's back-ups? It's good for your back. It used to be one of my favorite stops on a weight training circuit when I did weights in 1967 (aw, 1982). I figured why not do it on the picnic table.

It was good to see Avrilon. She's going to have llamas someday. Or was it yaks? No, it was llamas, I think.