Sunday, August 14, 2016

Our new hire is awesome.  She's fast.  She's efficient.  She's helpful.  She's nice.  And I like being around her.  She always calls our boss "sir."  I think he likes it.  It's just another nice thing about her. We did get our across-the-board raise.  We were all happy.  My raise was the smallest though, so I was little disappointed.  Still, a raise is a raise and you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, whatever that means!

I got a new car in April and it is duperly, superly nice.  I chose a Hyundai Elantra Limited.  It's exactly the color I wanted.  It's great on gas and I can start it remotely.  The only thing I wish it had is an upgraded sound system.  I like to be able to feel my music, as our son says.  Maybe sometime I will get better speakers and a woofer.  I miss having my husband drive me to work, but it's nice having my own wheels again.  Now we have a payment for six years.  Boo.

Reading an article about grammar mistakes no one cares about (that was the title) I learned that two spaces after a period shows that you're old.  Boy, that made me mad.  I care about that!  I care about grammar too.  I don't know what yoyo wrote that article.  I have to try to start using only one space after my periods now.  It's hard to do!

Speaking of periods. I'm getting a bit of basal cell carcinoma removed from my face, the side of my nose, and the doc commented on the fact that I still have my period. He said, "Stranger things have happened."  My mom is now checking in on me and saying, "So did we get our period this month?" Haha!  Like I told the doc, every month I think it's the last one then I get another.  I do not mind though.  Except you'd think maybe I'd look younger or something, but dang, I'm 57 and I look 57 or 67 or 77!  That ain't fair.

Oh dear. I already forgot to use only one space after a period instead of two. Fresh start.

I'm waiting to hear back from SWBTS so I can sign up for a winter class. I'm excited to learn what class I will be taking. I'll have to hit up my savings account. My Zumba classes were killer small this summer so I didn't earn much there. I had a mere two or three students. Now I have seven to nine coming. I hope they continue.

My dad's wife was going to divorce him but she changed her mind. I'm sure it's very hard for her - living with him and seeing how he's changed these past few years. They say horrid things to one another at times - things that cannot be taken back. It's so sad. We told our sons about it. It cannot be kept secret. It shouldn't be kept secret - the reason for the divorce. To look evil in the face and do nothing is itself evil. But I love my dad. Sadly, we all love my dad. I've been interviewed by the sheriff's department. I expect charges will be filed and my dad's wife says it will be ugly. The last time I talked to him he sounded so good. His voice was strong and he sounded like his old self. I hung up and was awash with feelings hard to put into words, but mostly, I suppose, sorrow for the brokenness within all of us.

So I've been reading Psalms. The Psalms are songs and they are unique in that while the Bible is God speaking to man, the psalms are man talking to God. Some of the psalms are written by people who were in crisis, in dire situations, utterly dejected or afraid or lost or angry. You know, a lot of times you feel like when you're at church on Sunday you gotta be smiling. You gotta be smiling because you are a follower of Christ, supposed to be blessed, one of his children, a child of the One, True God. All of that is true but the psalms show that things are not always perfect or happy or great for YHWH's children. The psalms teach us how to talk to God. They teach us how to express ourselves in this relationship we have with the Alpha, the Omega, the Author of All Things. I am a child of the one, true king. I am the head and not the tail. No weapon formed against me shall prosper. Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. Just like David encouraged himself, I too must encourage myself. Must.

I lean on everythang's gonna be alright. That's from the ghetto. And also, "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." That's from Scripture - which has a bit more power behind it.

Saturday, February 06, 2016

Monday our new hire starts work.  Her name is Carolyn and I'm looking forward to working with her.  She's has experience as a Certified Nurse Assistant and has worked in a warehouse which is a perfect combination.

I finished filling out my yearly job evaluation and am waiting for my boss to give me his eval.  I got a real good one last year.  I hope he still likes my work.  Nothing terrible happened during the three weeks that it was just he and I working.  No fires to put out.  No customers coming down to us because they lack medical supplies.  That's good.  I'm still looking for that across-the-board raise.  Boss said it was likely to happen this month.  Haven't heard a thing of it though. My regular little raise is due to begin on the 12th.  This is the longest I've ever held a job!  I've been there three-and-a-half years.

This evening I ordered a worship dress.  I've been practicing the "That's My King" sermonette by S.M. Lockridge and I just might offer to do it at church.  I will be a little nervous, but I think people would enjoy hearing it and it would be an opportunity for me to do something.

I saw a photo of a regular person wearing it and it looked pretty.  I will wear my hair in a side braid or in a Pentecostal 'do.  Been practicing.

Sunday, January 17, 2016

I got an A in my class!  I was happy and pleased.  Now I am thinking of how I might earn more money to save up and take another class in August.  I need a third stream of income. I have seven months to save $1000.  The money I have saved now I want to use for a car.  A Toyota Corolla is what I want.  Everyone says "blah!"  But I like Toyota.  And I don't need a Camry.  The Corolla is plenty big enough for me.  It's super reliable.  And I don't need fancy.

At work our stock clerk's last day was yesterday.  Tomorrow I'll be filling in and doing my job too until we have a new one hired.  The CFO says there will possibly be an across-the-board pay increase for our department and it may be approved in February.  I hope it comes to pass.  It would be really nice.  I almost applied for a better paying job elsewhere, but though the money would be great, I have excellent hours and an excellent boss who runs interference where I am now, and the stress level is low.  I'd hate to regret trading.

We began our Friday Bible study.  It is soooo wonderful.  We are going through the book of Romans.  I picked a good one!  It's the Fort Knox of Bible doctrine!  We've finished chapter one.  The first meeting went okay.  The second one better.  I created a fill-in-the-answer worksheet for the second class and I think they liked it.  It helps them remember and recognize the important points I think.  And I practiced leading discussion.  I very much have wanted to do that, but it takes finesse of which I have only a little bit right now.  It went well Friday.  I want to ensure that the discussion stays on topic and that we do not devolve into "sharing our ignorance."  Once, when one person shared about a biblical event I asked if it was in Scripture.  She said no.  And it helped maintain group focus, I think.

I have a headache this morning.  Maybe dreading work next week.


Saturday, November 21, 2015

I got an A on my presupposition paper.  I got a B on my midterm.  And I have so much reading to do to write a book report and then prepare for the final.  I have absolutely no time to blog let alone change my background image. I just spent two hours on looking at backgrounds.  I don't wanna study right now though.  Waaaah!

My new, cool background is salt.  Blogspot doesn't have a category for Christians, faith, religion, or even fundamentalists, fanatics, or Jesus freaks, so I found it in the food category. 

I remember when I started going to a church I was at the pastor's house and they had purple grapes on a grapevine wallpaper covering the wall in the dining area with a scripture which made absolutely no sense to me.  I asked what it meant and the wife said, "You don't know?" and I told it must be from the Bible and she said yes.  She never did tell me what it meant.  I expect it was a passage from Galatians about the fruit of the spirit.  She missed a good moment to witness though.

For my Biblical Hermeneutics course, the final consists of not a usual exam, but three practicum papers.  A practicum is when you actually put your skills to work.  We are to list 30 hermeneutical questions each for Isaiah 65:24, and then Matthew16:13–20, and then Romans 12:1-2.  We don't have to write the answers.  We don't even need to know the answers!  But we better have very good questions.  I have received from Amazon a commentary for each book.  Our professor says we should not buy a complete set of commentaries all written by one author because the best commentaries depend on the book.  One author does not necessarily write the best commentary on every single book.  And we are to do as much study on a passage strictly on our own and go to a commentary last.  That was quite a lesson for me as I have always gone to a commentary first!

I am not sure if I'll take another class in January or wait till fall and take one class a year.  This week I'm going to put $1000 toward the principle on our mortgage so I may have to wait and earn some more Zumba money.

We have a cat who fetches.  If you throw her mouse she'll run after it like a herd of wild horses and bring it back and drop it on the floor.  She is so cute!  She's a Bombay cat.  Sounds very fancy, doesn't it.  She's just a black cat.  But her fur is very soft.  That's a characteristic on Bombay kitty cats.


Sunday, September 20, 2015

I'm trying to think of two sources to use to write a paper about presuppositions in the media.  I was thinking so hard and now here I am.  I could start on my paper if I could just think of what to write about.

My class is great.  I'm loving it.  Today I got my book by D.A. Carson called For the Love of God.  It's a devotional to guide you through reading the whole Bible - the OT once, and the NT and Psalms twice in one year.  I'm on day three.  Only have 363 days to go.  It's based on a system invented by a Scotsman who was born in 1813 whose name was M'Cheyne, pronounced "McShane."  You read one chapter from four different books every day.  If that's too much, you can read two per day and be done in two years.  I'm hoping my sis might do it with me.  I might tell my Bible class about it this Friday.  Maybe I'll present it as a challenge and see what anybody does.  There's a daily devo with it.  The devo is one page long and quite enlightening.  What I like about it is that it's very focused on the Bible, and on keeping the main story line in focus.  That story line would be the history of redemption.  The work Jesus did on the cross for us.  It's uplifting without being all about what God can do for me today.  It's online for free.  I bought the book because I can keep track of where I am better in a book than I can on a 350 page .pdf online. or

Church was fantastic this morn.  Pastor's grandchildren from California were here and they all play instruments.  Three of them play the fiddle.  They sang "That Long Black Train" and one called "There's a Stirring."  I enjoyed it tremendously.  It was so much better than our usual, rather dry, praise and worship.

I plan to restart the Bible study we were doing together last year.  I will be ready for one on Friday.  The topic I'm doing will be based on an article by Albert Mohler called "A Call for Theological Triage and Christian Maturity."  I hope it's well received on Friday.

My friend is on a hunting trip so I've led Sunday School with the teens by myself last week and this.  I thought they'd like to learn a song, especially since one of them sings in the choir, but they don't seem to be into it.  I don't know why.  Makes me what to pinch their little heads off!  Teenagers!  But I give them credit to listening well when I teach.  They appear interested.  We went over Joshua 3 this morning.  If they're not interested, then they fake it very well.  The young man had his phone out and I jumped up and sat by him and said, "What you lookin' at."  Bless his heart, his was looking at the Scripture we were doing.

Afterward, at home, I look at my notes, think about what I said, and always think I could have done a better job.  I need a do over and I could do so much better, I think to myself.

Son is stressing us out.

Work is good.  I hurt my back two weeks ago and it's all better now.

I JUST HAVE TO THINK OF A TOPIC FOR MY PRESUPPOSITION PAPER!  Oh nooooooooo!  I can't think of one!   Aaaaaugh!

Saturday, July 25, 2015

They let me in!  Yay! SWBTS accepted my application into their Master of Theological Studies program.  It's perfect for me because I will be taking all the classes a pastor would take except for the actual pastoral classes.  In other words, it's a degree for the layperson.  I'm not qualified to be a church leader nor do I have the desire to lead.  But I do love to learn.  I have a lotta learning to do.  I'm all registered.  I'm taking just one class and will see if in the future I can swing two at one time.  My first course, one they recommend to all first year seminary students, is Biblical Hermeneutics.  I will be learning about principles of interpretation.  For example, (I learned this in a freebie online class) when we read Scripture was must consider three things:

1) The ancient/original audience
2) Universal/timeless audience
3) Contemporary/present audience

The Bible wasn't written to us.  It was written to people of another time.  But it was written for us.  Even after 2000+ years it is still sharper than any two edged sword; good for teaching, rebuking, correction, and training us to do what's right.

Next I pay $930 tuition.  I have until August 27 to cough it up.  How much will I need for books?  How many books will I need?  I don't know if I can ever qualify for any scholarship because I'm a grama working full time and teaching Zumba who will not be able to take a full class load ever.

They sent me links for email, for WebAdvisor and to Blackboard.  I spent two hours muddling through it to figure it all out.  But I better know how to navigate it before school starts.

Husband ran into cement structure at Walmart last week so truck is in the shop.  He was so upset. That'll be $2300 to fix.  My friend lent us her SUV for as long as we need.  She has such a generous heart.  She really saved us.  It would be $200 per week to rent a car.  Blah.

Son gave notice for his electrician's helper job.  We're sore disappointed.  The owner even offered to pay for school for him to the tune of $15k and gave him a 30 minute lecture about the opportunity he's passing up, but son insists it's not what he wants to do.  He has chosen instead to do common labor, fence building, because it's more money.  What about security?  What about benefits?  What about college?  What about the future?  Ah, well, he's 18.  He's working in 100 degree weather.  He's doing it his way.  Our friends say he's smart.  Our friends say he'll have his own business one day.  In the meantime I try not to weep.

Wednesday, July 01, 2015

Big week.  I have my new iPhone 6 and husband bought me a beautiful camouflauge Otterbox for it.  He got me the one I wanted.  He drove all the way to Cruces and surprised me with it.

SWBTS (Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary) finally received my transcript.  Today.  Now I wait ten days to find out if I'm accepted or not.  Awesomeness.

Last night I went to bed at 6:45pm and slept hard all night.  It was end-of-the-fiscal-year inventory day.  The worst.  Worked from 8am to 5:30pm with only some short breaks to rest for five minutes at a time or eat.  My feet hurt.  My back hurt.  My head hurt by 5:30pm.  Horrible day.  We came up with 96% accuracy today which is not our best.  My boss said he won't complain about it, so I won't either.  What's the point.  It's done.  At least for the next 364 days anyways.

Life is good. 

Saturday, June 27, 2015

My transcript still isn't in.  I called Cal Poly last Tuesday and they'll send it out again.  Guess I'll wait a few more days then, heck, request it and pay again.  What's wrong anyways?  I confirmed that I have the right mailing address.  If I have to order again I'm putting a name on it so it'll go to an actual person at the Office of Admissions.

There is lots of activity on Father Jonathan's Facebook page.  He has a good point that the US should now separate civil ceremonies and religious ceremonies.  I imagine plural marriage is on the horizon.  I wonder if we'll see churches give up their tax exempt status.  The fields are white for harvest.

Last Saturday I finished a very good book.  I give it five out of five stars.  It's called "Teaching to Change Lives" by Dr. Howard Hendrick.  I highlighted important passages so hopefully I can pick it up for refreshment when needed.  This week-end I'm reading "The Secret of the Universe" by Nathan Wood.  Ray Stedman said it was a life changing book for him.  That he found it in a dusty corner of the university library and it changed his understanding of the trinity.  I don't think I can finish it in two days though.  It heavier reading than the last one.


Sunday, June 21, 2015

Everything is in to SWBTS except my transcript.  Cal Poly cashed my check for my transcript request in April but no transcript arrived.  I called last week and they've mailed another one so I hope this one makes it through.

My daughter-in-law said if I get a phone that receives photos she'll send me pictures.  So now I super want a better phone.  But unfortunately I want an iPhone.  The one I want is $750.  Phooey.  But if I get an iPhone then I can use the free app that Zumba offers that makes your music sound like DJ club music.  With no breaks!  But I have to pay my Zumba yearly fee this month and Zumba rent.  Then I have to pay my Zumba insurance in August.  Phooey.

It's so hot.  It's been over 100 degrees.  Today is the official first day of summer.  Happy summer!  My favorite season.

I sang in church last Sunday.  That is, I sang solo and a capella.  It was extremely edifying.  The sound of my voice filling the whole church was, was, well how can I find the words.  We sang "Brethren We Have Met To Worship", an old hymn, words from 1819.  The four of us lined up on the stage, mics in hand, then Susan looked at me and said, "Anytime."  I looked down, not at the audience for fear that fear itself might overtake me.  I let the quiet be very full then I took a big breath, looked forward and let the words come out to break the quiet.

We each have snapshots of time embedded in our heart and mind - like a hand print in cement.  For a few seconds I was keenly aware of my voice reverberating inside the church walls, all the people seated, listening to the words come out of my mouth.  I think I'll remember it a long time.  

By the end of singing the second line I sensed everything was going to be okay.  In practice we all had trouble starting a new stanza together, so finally  I told Susan we must look at each other and then we can start a new stanza at exactly the same time.  It worked.  We looked at each other and we all came in together and in unison.  There is an old shapenote hymnbook, hymnal, called "The Sacred Harp."  The "harp" is the human voice.  Did you know your voice can be an instrument?

So anyway, I got three more compliments for last week at church today.  I think I want to do it again.  I'm surprised, so surprised, that anyone might like my voice.  It's very good to be 55, 56 next month, and still having a brand new life experience.

There will be an election here on September 22 because we collected enough signatures for a referendum.  Today I fear we will lose the election though.  The seniors here are not motivated it seems and are not even aware of the senior center takeover by the City, nor do many seem to care.  It's most unusual.  Usually seniors are highly motivated voters.  And the newspaper does not help.  They are biased and we're having trouble getting our side out to the public.  Well, I have to cheer up and be more positive.  I don't really want to speak at the commission meeting Tuesday.  The political people are a very mean, ugly group.

I think of Saeed Abedini a lot.  He got beat up by other prisoners last week.  I think about him and how my life is easy and his is a living nightmare.  I pray for him.  I hope the Iranians don't kill him.  I wonder if he thinks about Matthew 10:28: Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. I hope and pray for a miraculous release for him so he can come home and be with his wife and children again.  I read at the Christan Post that his wife Nahmeh said:

Saeed is so strong in his faith because even though we are not there and even though the church is not there, he's got Christ there with him, strengthening him," She said. "Other prisoners have said that usually when prisoners come out of solitary, they are devastated or broken, but [Saeed] seemed so refreshed and glowing. That's what we have in that relationship with Christ."
It's inspired me to pray for him ever since.


Monday, June 08, 2015

Dreaming of the future.  Dreaming of being a seminary student.  Wondering why Cal Poly hasn't sent my transcript to Southwestern yet.  They cashed my check in April.

On Saturday I went and practiced singing with the choir director and pastor's wife who plays the organ.  I loved it.  However, the choir director gave me a microphone for the last song.  Suffice to say, he didn't ask me to sing with him after that.  Hahahaha!  I was perspiring under my arms a lot!  I was a little embarrassed to hear my voice very off key a couple times, but what can ya do?  I just kept on singin'.

I was going to wear my new dress to church Sunday.  With my new wedge sandals.  But alas, I was not prepared for the investment of time that dress wearing requires.  So I got in my usual jeans and cowgirl boots and went.  I was late.

But I was in time for choir practice.  We had no teenagers for our class so we went to an adult Sunday School class.  It happened that they were starting a new book and the subject was "Accept Your Leadership Role."  We talked about how everyone is afraid to lead and we read Joshua 1:1-9.  I liked it so well I am memorizing 1:7-9.  ...Be strong and courageous.  And we talked about how before you do anything, pray.  But of course we know that.  But, do we listen too?  Often we talk so much we forget to listen.  Much like giving a man directions.  He's talking so much about how he can find his way that he doesn't even listen when you're giving him the directions.  Well, it was all women in the group so it made sense to us!

Every obstacle is an opportunity.

And so I sang in the choir for church for the first time.  It was wonderful.  The Sunday School lesson gave me the extra, oomph, for encouragement I needed.  If God is guiding you to do something, why wait.

After Zumba tomorrow I'm going to the City Commission meeting.  I'm on the email loop with the ad hoc committee and they are exceedingly well prepared for tomorrow.  I do hope it goes well.  I think they ought to select another building to house a visitor center for the Spaceport, but the City has hurriedly chosen to "repurpose" the senior rec center.  We have collected enough valid signatures for a referendum.  It seems the City is going to say the petition is fraudulent maybe.  We'll see tomorrow.  They may try to say that people didn't know what they were signing but they did know what they were signing.  The man who collected the most signatures is quite vociferous and it would be a stretch to say people don't understand what he's saying.  The owner of one of the two newspapers in this community is also on the county commission and she did a one page political ad in her own paper and printed the names of all 265 petition signers.  It's quite unusual.  I've never seen the like in all my life!  And they are telling people to write a letter to have their name redacted from the petition but I don't think it's possible to do so once it's been filed.  Anywho, come what may, I would like to see the rec center not to be changed to a tourist bus center/visitor center.  I think having been built by the WPA 70 years ago it ought to  continue to be used by the community for recreation.  The City moved all activities to the Civic Center, but it's locked all day long.  Someone has to come and open and close it for anyone who uses it.  It's the oddest recreation center set-up you've ever seen.

I have to go pray and then sleep.  I'm thinking about making a Twitter page for myself.

Monday, May 25, 2015

I read the book of Acts today. 

Why do I have to log into Google to get to my blog.  I don't like that at all.

Sunday, May 24, 2015

I think I have my conversion experience written.  Whew.  It's about time.  I reread what I wrote a month ago for "My Specific Call to Ministry" and it sounds good still.  That one flowed out of me easily apparently.

Our youngest is 18 now.  Graduation was yesterday.  He missed the practice walk-through so he wasn't part of the graduation ceremony.  The thing is, he demonstrated absolutely no interest in partaking in graduation activities until...the day of graduation...and then his feelings about it changed.  He helped me not a whit with preparing scholarship applications so I did one and that was all.  On the day of awards then he wished he had applied for more.  I can't make up his mind for him.  It made me feel so bad to see him feel bad.  It really ripped my heart out.  But I didn't care about graduation ceremony stuff myself when I was his age so I thought it wasn't important to him.  We can't force him to do anything.  I told him, you have to prepare for things like this.  Everyone does.  That's the way it is.

I'm looking forward to church tomorrow.  I haven't read my Bible at all for two weeks - unless you count reading the introduction in my new pocket Gideon's Bible to everyone I know.  I've just been in such a funk.  Hope it passes pretty soon.  I'm pretty tired of myself.


Wednesday, April 15, 2015

My the time flies.  We're soon going to be a quarter through the entire year.  Unbelievable.

My dad is in the hospital.  He couldn't breathe very well so he went to emergency yesterday.  They expect him to be released tomorrow.  He's had some bronchitis since December and they say now COPD.  No results from the x-rays or tests, so nothing is conclusive yet.  Our last telephone conversation he said he needs to explain everything to me because I'm a slow thinker.  He used the word "d*ck" while explaining to me about his daily use of the catheter.  I pray to God if I get old that I don't get mean and ugly.  One time I sat next to an old gentleman on a plane trip who told me that his family paid his whole ticket, round trip, so he would go see them.  I could tell why.  Really I could.  He was a pleasure to sit next to and he was so genuine - he wasn't putting on airs.  I pray I can be like him someday.  What a blessing he must have been to his family and his family to him.  That is what I want to be like.

I'm in the process of applying to Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.  I'm working on writing my testimony.  Been working on it three weeks.  It's not coming along because I have such a dull testimony.  I submitted my transcripts already so that part is done.  Check.

Our Friday Bible study is going well still.  I'm getting a leetle bit of Gospel of John lesson prep fatigue.  I might choose another topic for this Friday.  I'm leaning toward doing a short talk on order of doctrine based on an article written by Albert Mohler called "A Call for Theological Triage and Christian Maturity."

Did three new routines for Zumba Tuesday and class really liked them.


Sunday, February 22, 2015

Boy, almost a whole month since I got the flu.  I still have a residual cough.

Bible study went really well Friday evening.  It lifted my spirit so much.  If it goes well it means the Spirit led.  If it goes poorly, I wasn't led by anything but the flesh.  To receive affirmation from members of our group gives me the greatest joy of all.  It encourages me tremendously.

I have begun to think that I'd like to get the Master of Theological Studies (MTS) offered online by Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary (SBTS).  It's a dream that fills up my mind a lot.  Perhaps the Holy Spirit has it as a plan for me.  I have to pray about it longer and see if God imparts anything more to me about it.  The MTS at SBTS is the shortest of any online degree - 36 units.  And it's for lay ministry.  I read it's good grounding for teaching which is right up my alley.  It's not the degree for ordained ministry and that's fine for me too.  SBTS  has excellent accreditation, including state accreditation, and that's a high priority for me.  I did consider a certificate of some sort, but if you're going to dedicate the time and effort to education, as I see it, you may as well attend a little longer and get a degree rather than a certificate.  What does God have planned for me?

Well, I'll keep teaching and leading our new little study/prayer group for now.  As long as women come, I will do it.  And I need to put money from Zumba into savings.

The city passed a motion to "repurpose" the senior center as a Visitor's Center for the Spaceport.  Is that spaceport a big boondoggle?  I wonder.  They closed the skating rink because the building became unstable and I had to move from there. Now there's no more senior center for me and I have to teach a the giant civic center (giant for a small town) so I'm out of luck again.  I'm afraid they're not going to cool it in summer and we'll be roasting come July.  Phooey.  And I'm pretty sure they've broken some laws or statutes about not having a public forum before closing down a building that belongs to the community.  It's a backwards town here.

I didn't bake a cake today.  I should do one tomorrow.  Husband bought me the cake mixer of my dreams.  It's super duper. 

Work is good.  My boss gave me an outstanding evaluation Friday.  He's such a good manager for me.  He's easy to work for.  He's not moody.  He's not mean.  He's generous - like when we had a cutback he took the brunt of the cutback in hours for our department.  I'm blessed to work with him eight hours a day.  Or, six and a half hours on Tues/Thurs.  Ha!  He's talkative and easy to talk to.  And for being a big, burly hulk of a man, he's sensitive too.  Really, he is.  He has a low, grumbly voice that I like.

Next month I'm going to see the dermatologist.

That's about it, I suppose.  The newest verse I memorized is "I am the Alpha and the Omega, says the Lord, the one who was and is and is to be."  It's in a song and I accidentally learned it.  It's from the Book of Revelation.   It's not "Revelations."  It's singular.  The Book of Revelation.

My friend is filing for divorce and needs a lot of prayer.  Her heart is broken and she's facing terrible problems with one son.  I like the son and I know he is suffering also, but he's making things much worse.  Compounding an already horrible situation.  I pray he finds his way through his distress and worry and anger and lostness.

I miss our eldest son and his family.

Chapter six of the Gospel of John is the best chapter in the book.  I've said that about every single chapter though.  Man, a carpenter from Galilee who lived more than 2000 years ago is in my mind every day.  Crazy.  God reached down to earth to save us.  All we have to do is accept, say yes, say we need Him.  It's contrary to all human thinking.  We think we need to do, do, do something.  But there's no doing, only believing.  We are justified, sanctified and one day we shall be glorified!   

Saturday, January 24, 2015

I'm sick.  Have a head ache, low grade  fever, slight cough, sore throat.  Bummer.

Son sold one of his trucks for 4k and he's floating.  Husband went with him to Pecos, Texas, to sell it to a veterinarian.  And the guy went to college with the teacher from son's school that took his graduation portrait.  She's talented.  Good thing son waited for this guy to sell it to.  The previous person was trying to scam us on Paypal.  Wanted us to pay $800 Western Union to ship it.  Had a bad feeling about it because the guy was in such a rush.  What's the rush?  There's no rush.  So we cancelled out on the sale.  Guy said he was in the military.  I think he was in prison!

The man he did sell it to was super nice and generous.  They has beautiful plates my husband said, and real napkins, and dessert forks and salad forks, and the wife made a delicious chocolate cake and they were so Texas friendly.  If you've met down home Texas hospitality then you know what I'm talking about.  Husband also said the bathroom was utterly beautiful and perfectly spotless!

I have to be well next week.  It's just two of us as our stock clerk is on vacation all week long.  On Friday I'm doing half day alone because boss is going on a family Disneyland trip to California.  They're really excited and looking forward to it.  I hope they have a fantastic time.

I don't feel good.

Missed the memorial for Donna's mom.  And I'll miss church tomorrow.  I don't want to get others sick.  Actually, I don't care if they're young, but I'd feel terrible to make any of the seniors sick.  One sweet, sweet woman named April was in emergency last week while I was stocking the shelves.  I asked her if she wanted me to pray for her and she said yes, and then she prayed for me in the emergency room.  It was nice.  I hope they found out what was ailing her.

Our prayer group met without me because I was feeling puny Friday.  It's good for them to keep meeting even if I'm not there.  Even though I didn't do a very good job last time.  I was disappointed in myself last week and was sure Debbie wouldn't come back.  But she did!  God is so good.  I guess we are a good fit for her and she's a good fit for us.  It's a cherry on top when you meet other Christians you connect with.  I like Debbie very much.  It's not about me, is it.  It's about the Word and who can resist the Word?

I don't feel good.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

I'm done with yoga.  I didn't use my last paid class and I probably never will.  It became clear to my mind to let go of the whole Holy Yoga thang.  I don't even miss it.

For two months my knees became increasingly stiff.  It was affecting my walking and hurt, dang, it hurt.  Oddly, I was still able to do Zumba but not bend my knees, which, there is not much knee-bending in my routines so there ya go.  But I focused on what could be the problem and thought it might be this one particular Zumba routine.  Took out the routine and, voila, slow improvement.  I still can't sit Indian style, but I can do a standing quad stretch so I'm satisfied with that!  Zumba classes are small this winter, five to ten people.  I am blessed to have each woman in my class especially since there are two cheaper Zumba instructors in town.  I'm taking Christmas week off from Zumba classes and will use it to practice some new routines.

Bible study is evolving and growing.  We had seven ladies recently.  One night I did the gospel of John, chapter 15 with the group.  It's about how Jesus is the true vine.  It went so well that during the night it came to me that we ought to go through the whole gospel of John together instead of jumping around the Bible.  They liked the idea and so that's the plan.

I talked so long about John 1-18 (it's a prologue, theological, and history begins in verse 19) last Friday that we didn't even notice the time passing.  I have been terribly worried about talking too much but Mayela said one of the women said she'd like to stay longer.  That gave me such a great boost of confidence.  At least it shows that the talk is absorbing so I must stop fretting about the time, and what others think, and just plan to find the most interesting and important part of whatever section God leads me to study and work on it.  We did two things last week.  One, I had them look up promises in the Bible and we shared them together.  It was a big hit with everyone, and it was wonderful to hear which of God's promises each woman looked up and prayed on during the week.  And for our Bible study I selected plenty of verses to support what I shared (from what I learned) so they can rightly divide the Word for themselves.  That way, listeners are engaged and less passive.  I think.  I hope.

Speaking of books, I'm reading "The Pilgrim's Progress" by John Bunyan, a classic.  It's the most published book in the English language next to the Bible.  It's very good.  I can even see a person in it whom I just met.  I would call her "talkative" from the book.  I've had it for months but just recently picked it up and opened it.  I especially like a section about the "Slough of Despond", a place where people get stuck on their journey.  They get in and can't get out.  They never realize there are steps all around that they can easily climb up and get out but, alas, they cannot see them.  Just like when we're stuck in a depression.  It's dark and murky and appears to be no hope of escape.  But God has foreplanned a way for us to escape - if only we see His way.

I've been praying regularly for Saeed Abedini and his family.  I hope he will be freed to come home soon.  I read that once he was in solitary and when he came out he was shining, like almost glowing.  It was from all the prayers he felt and strength from God.  We serve a great God.  The most powerful God in the universe.  But Saeed is very ill right now from all the beatings they have done.  Obama is inept, ineffectual, and completely impotent as a leader.

But for comes Thursday.  Next week will be a three day week.  Yay! (I can't end a bad note.)  I have a slight sore throat but I think it's just because I'm tired.

Friday, November 07, 2014

I'm looking forward to church!

And it's Friday.  Yay!  We may go to Cruces tomorrow.  I haven't decided.

I sent my sister on a recon mission.  That's how she put it.  Haha!  She's doing an exceedingly good job.  Such a good job, in fact, that I realize the yoga classes I'm attending in Cruces are a dud.  My teachers haven't done anything that hers have.  I need to take a class somewhere else, but unfortunately anyplace else will entail a long drive.

Today we prayed right after work from 5pm to 6pm.  It went well, but I find myself feeling bad because being a leader makes me nervous and worried.  The first two worship songs we did, I played too loud.  I read Exodus 1, chapters 1 and 2, and to 3:6 out loud from The Message.  I think it may have been too long.  For Kathy and Mayela and I it would not be too long, but because we had two other women I felt it was too long.  I worried about what they were thinking while I was reading.  Well, live and learn.  You can't figure out what works best unless you do something.  If I do nothing I will learn nothing and not get any better.

And we wrote prayers on our new prayer wall!  It's about 10' high and 12' long.  We included dates so we can write when our prayers are answered too.  That part went well I think.  I think they liked doing it.  And when it's all filled up we'll take it down, fold it up, and burn it so the smoke will go to heaven.  We certainly can't put them in the trash.  Over the past week we've put writing paper on one wall, a sparkly blue border, and a title which is scripture from Exodus 3:5.  I think everyone like it.  I ran over there when it was time to write our prayers down and they all laughed.  Haha!  We all laughed.

The last two songs went perfectly.  I didn't play them too loud, and the lyrics were just right.  For closing we sang "You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman, and also an Aaronic blessing I found on YouTube that's very beautiful.  I plan to memorize it this week, in the English of course, so I can use it in praying for people.

I didn't ask to be our prayer group leader, but three of them I notice have called me the leader.  Makes me nervous just to think of it right now.  Gives me that bad feeling in my chest.  But I'm going to put one foot in front of the other and do the best I can, even if it's not perfect.  Moses and me, we are the same, only I'm on the miniscule scale.

I'm so tired.  I prepared so much, every night of the week, but when I knew it was more than just the three of us, my energy got wide and unfocused and I worried about whether any thing and every thing was the right thing.  I over studied actually.  I don't do that when I'm learning just for myself.  Usually there's a laser beam on what I want to learn.  Maybe, I ought to pretend I'm studying just for me.  Or, really study just for me, then share it with them.  Uh oh, my head is getting too tight! 

But the Holy Spirit was present tonight while we prayed and that's the most important thing.  I don't know when I became so able to pray out loud.  When did that happen exactly?  I don't know.

Among other things, we all have in common the desire to grow spiritually.  I hope I will be worthy of such a mission, that is, to give us focus.  We will each help the other grow spiritually.  That's what I think.  Because each woman has her strengths and weaknesses.  Together our strengths are compounded and together our weaknesses will be turned into strength. I have so much to draw from from my own prayer group.  I have learned the most from them.

Monday, November 03, 2014

I wrote that check for Sunday and I feel better!

Tonight it occurred to me that maybe I can make one post to store unhappy things in.  Mainly, things my father says.  Instead of keeping them in my heart where they ruin my mind and make me weepy and distressed, I will write them here and leave them sit.  And they can just rot on the internet and not in my brain.

11/3/14 Tonight he said, "What will he do if his younger brother (talking about my eldest) takes in more than he does?"  I said "Mmm hmmm (because nothing came to my mind except a question mark and I didn't know where he was going with such a remark).  Then he said, "You know how it feels."  Implying that my younger sister earns far more than I do, so okay, he already knew what he had in mind with that remark.  And I said, "Dad, I am happy.  I am content!  I have all that I need and much of what I want."  He said, "Oh, well you must have gotten that from me."  Um, what?

He said something about the Lord.  He was gently mocking me for my faith.

He told me I need to go get a shot for shingles and go get it done soon.  I said, "I can't promise anything."  Which is true.  I am not getting a shingles shot.  He kind of snickered like I'm an idiot.  I looked it up and the CDC has no recommendation for people age 50-59 and suggests it for age 60 and over. I'm 55. 

In September he said, "Ann says that people who don't have money don't deserve money."  I have no idea what his point was.  He said when he is gone everything goes to Ann.  I said, "I didn't expect anything, after all she is much younger than you."

I will store these here so in the future when I miss him and cry because I want him to love me, I can instead remember the weekly call which he ends with a sweet "Love you" after he cr*ps all over me.  I never use the word "cr*p" but I thought I'd try writing it because it fits.  I don't think I'll write it again.  It makes me feel worse when I even think it. 

Update 11/4/14:  Husband reminded me today that last week my dad was lamenting and blaming himself for how "he raised me wrong".  But I turned out fine.  My husband loves me a lot.  And my sons do too.  I love them too.  I remind myself I'm a child of God!  I am in Christ, and I am a new creation.

11/7/14 -  And he referred to my college degree and asked what have I done with it.

2/16 -  Have considered deleting this topic.  He said I'm a bad mother because our son fails to thank him for gifts, and it's my fault.  For goodness sakes, then don't give him any more gifts! I said.  Then I told him I will not listen to him say hateful things about other people and I'm not going to listen to him using the 'f' word or calling his wife foul names.  So he said he feels like he can't talk to me.  Well, hallelujah!  Who needs all this negativity and unhappiness spoken to them.  Not me. 

I'm going to return to tithing.  Next Sunday I will tithe.  I will write the check today because that's another problem - I conveniently forget to write a check and my husband told me to stop giving cash.  Every time the plate comes by I feel horrible.

I used to put my cash in the basket and my husband would say why don't you have any money?  And, well, I had no defense.

I will take half the money from my Zumba money and half from my paycheck.  It think that way, I'm tithing less from our bank account where my husband sees it.  It's a fine plan.

Gotta pray for some forgiveness because I wanted to use my personal money for Zumba shoes and Zumba-wear and things for myself.  My classes have been small (no $100 nights since last April) and I was too tight-hearted to give to the Lord.  I am shameful.  I'm just plain old selfish and vain.

Sunday, November 02, 2014

We're getting rain tonight and it's fantastic.  Some thunder.  And now lightning.  I love thunder and lightning. 

I sat and talked with my pastor for a few minutes after church this morning and he was really talkative and he answered my two questions about prayer.  I think he may have enjoyed talking with me a bit too.  I hope so.  I didn't feel at all like I was bothering him.  I like him and his wife, Karen, very much. 

Went shopping last week-end and got a new knee length sweater, beige, from Old Navy.  Bought a sweater that'll go nice with leggings or jeans, and two cotton, long sleeved, tops.  I got two new pairs of high top shoes for Zumba.  One pair is red and pink and they're my favorite now.

Which reminds me.  I haven't been tithing.  I've felt so guilty for stopping.  It bothers my husband a little (my tithing) and I want him to be happy and I'm worried that if I tithe, he'll go get a job.  I don't feel good about it.  I need to do something about it because the devil likes you to compromise.  That's how he works.   I'm compromising.  I realized it during sermon this morn.

My friends and I are meeting for prayer on Fridays from 5-6pm.  It's been wonderful and fruitful.  We have had three other women come to pray with us.  I think at our next meeting we'll focus on prayer for pastors and churches.  We covered one whole wall at my friend's house with paper, added a border, gonna add a title this week, and we plan to write prayer requests on it and answers to prayer so we'll have a record of our prayers.  The title I chose for the wall comes from Exodus 3:5.  It's " are standing on holy ground."  It's not that the ground you're on is actually holy in and of itself, but it's the presence of God that makes it holy.  It was so for Moses as he stood in the presence of God in the burning bush and it's so when we're in Mayela's house praying.

I have a little headache.  But I feel happy too. 

Tomorrow is a work day.

Saturday, September 06, 2014

It's the intro to the Gideon's Bible!  Some introduction, eh!  Apparently Damson Dene Hotel in the U.K. has taken the Gideon's Bibles out of the rooms and replaced it with "Shades of Grey," a book described as "mommy porn."  Tsk, tsk.  I hope they don't have young children there.  That's not a good book for your 8-year-old to pick up.

Soon I'm going to increase my stepping.  Since it's been so hot in the Chihuahuan desert I haven't wanted to do the treadmill or walk outside.  Today I got 10,000 steps just at work.  Awesome sauce.  And on Fitbit I have four guys friending me: Slash, Jeffrey, Sam and Dan.  I'm going to friend them back, not.  But I initially stopped my stepping also because of a spiritual crisis in early May which has now passed.  It has not resolved itself but I cannot take on other people's sin.  That is the answer I keep telling myself.  It helps a small bit.  I don't know how counselors or pastors can bear it.

I've been studying about the woman with the issue of blood for two weeks.  Tomorrow I will compose my notes all in one place.  I've been collecting information on the scriptures about her from Matthew, Mark, and Luke.  Tonight I downloaded a character study about her and I am going to bed now to listen to it.  

Two weeks from now I've volunteered to be in the Baptist Church's pregnancy crisis booth at a community event.  Hope I may do some good there.  Hope no one eggs us or anything!

At work the new CEO kicked two people out of their jobs with no advance notice and gave the jobs to his friends.  It was very injurious to my friend.  He has no shame.  Can you say "unethical."  It's so gross that I can hardly bear to look at him.  I'm so fortunate that I work for a great manager who's so down to earth.