Audible exhalation

An audible exhalation can contain many emotions. For example, the sigh can be a sound expressing resignation or resentment, it can be a whine, it can be gleeful or joy filled. I need a "sigh" that contains all four.

Firstly, I am over my bout of hair hate. On Sunday I had an, um, hair incident. I fixed my hair in bee butt buns, four of them, so that when I'd take the buns down I'd have glorious waves throughout my hair especially for church. I had done two buns earlier in the week and happily discovered such a lovely, wavy effect they had on my tresses so I decided to do it a second time only improve on my method. Did I hear an "uh oh" out there. Yeah well. My improvement means I made four buns instead of two, I coiled them as tightly as humanly possible, and I made the buns on Friday afternoon and left them in until Sunday morning rather than just overnight.

Guess what. I couldn't get my hair unraveled. It was brutal. I almost needed to dial 911. I tried to uncoil the hair on the ends and move upwards but it would make a big rat. I tried to uncoil from the top and move downwards but it turned into another rat. I had rats on the top and the bottom with a coil in the middle. The top of my hair by my face was a giant fuzzball on one side. I was really upset! My heart was racing. I thought of the girl who tried flour and water as a hair treatment and how her dad spent hours with her with her uber long hair in the bath tub trying to peel and wash it out. Flour and water are like glue when it dries, ya know. She didn't know.

I tried to be patient. I told myself all I needed to do was stay calm and work it through, but the more I worked it the worse it got. I wet my hair. It didn't help. Yikes, I worried to myself. I could NOT get the coils undone. I wound it too tiiiight! I looked like Medusa. I couldn't go to church lookin' like Medusa. I wet it again and this time slathered conditioner all over hoping it would help, dipped my head in the tub, and magically, it swooshed apart with the conditioner. Never have I been so relieved. By then it was a half an hour after church started. I didn't make it to church at all. My son told our friends I missed church because of my hairdo which I imagine caused a few expressions of puzzlement. My husband took him to church while I struggled with my hair. Our son hates missing church.

So that's my story on there. I tore some of my hair in the one front section and I could hear it, like a plant screaming, for days. They say plants scream when they're killed.

But I've been having a time with the blahs of late. It's not a big case of the blahs, but just a little wheedling case. I love to do Advent and I'm doing a fair job there, but not with much else. I haven't wanted to sew or quilt or photograph or knit or bead or do anything. So what's my problem? What my major malfunction as they say. Without a tad bit of introspection these things can have a snowball effect, so the only way around it is straight through.

I'm not in a ballet or modern dance class and I wish I was. This town is so small that the woman who got the divorce was pushed out of her business - money troubles - and she's not teaching at all now. I wish I was in a general educational class like Helen - a university level course with quality teaching with human persons in attendance sitting in real desks having real discussions. And another person just today told me I'm so funny I should publish my writing. I told her, as we all know, I'm not really funny. Let's see, what else am I dissatisfied with? My prayer life. I am especially drawn to intercessory prayer, but I'm getting so many for people in such need that I feel sad. I feel heartbroken. I think I must be weak. I keep praying because I'm driven to, but shouldn't I be stronger. Why do I feel worn when I'm praying in the name of the Lord. That's all the self-disappointments I can think of for now.

On the up side I'm doing well on my big memorization project and it's given me a small dash of confidence. I've almost got two pages memorized which will be 50% done. I like belting it out. I belted it out today at the Senior Center because no one was there except me. I got on the stage and the acoustics in the building are great, like an empty library, and my voice reverberated. I was very impressed with myself. Hahaha! It's good to yell sometimes, especially good for quiet people.

With my new found memorization confidence I decided to watch a choreography on YouTube and learn it. To do that, first I had to figure out how to download YouTube videos then convert them to .wmv or iPod format. It took me a couple days, but I finally figgered it out. I found a couple new songs I like and I downloaded two dances and think I'll blend steps from the two. On one dance she's giving step-by-step instructions, but on the second video the guy and girl are just dancing and it's harder to break down. I don't have a wide hip-hop vocabulary so the second vid is harder to decipher too.

My best news is I finally received my boombox, the one I ordered on November 1 and had to return due to speaker rattle. It's an IM7 by Altec Lansing. I don't know why, but the price on it has gone up fully $100.00 since I purchased it. I paid $146.00 and it's $250.00 now. Incredible. I wonder if the price will fall as quickly as it went up. I don't understand why it's more expensive instead of less expensive. As I opened it and put it all together (which took a good ten minutes) my hands were perspiring. I was so afraid I'd get another bum unit and have to send it back. Well, it's not a bum unit. It's a bumping good portable audio system. It's has two four inch side firing sub-woofers and that's what makes it so bumping. I love bass and I also love saying "two four inch side firing sub-woofers." I feel very masculine when I say that. Rawr!

I just have to remember that I am doing what God intended for me to do in this season of my life. Homeschooling is my center and in only seven years when the young 'un is 18 I'll be starting a new chapter whether I like it or not. I should know by now that I shouldn't rush a chapter yet here I am pining for something I haven't got when everything is mighty fine as it is. It's the human condition I suppose.

Oh, one last thing. When my hair was a wreck and I was in a tizzy on Sunday about what to do, my husband offered, offered, to take a picture of my hair. Is there an emoticon for me?