The phone I want

I found the phone I want whenever we get a land line again. Or, if ever we get a land line. A pink phone.

And just in case I can't find one I have a back-up phone that I like.

Secretly sick

There was a big online photo entry contest for the state of New Mexico. I have tons of New Mexico birds, critters, sunsets, rainbows, landscape, moon, and a few aren't half bad. I looked at the site and checked the end date and figured since my computer crashed and the photos are all on the external hard drive, and I'd have to search through them, I'd do it later. It was free submission - no cost. I didn't even look for what the prize was because I assumed (what's that saying about assuming?) that free submission meant the prize was no big.

I remembered the end date was June 29th. Slight error in depending on my own memory bank which is usually depleted. I went back on June 28th. Found out the end date was June 27th. A professional photographer guy here in town won and not to be negative, but it was a photo of some plain old rocks. Seriously.

Now my cameras are both packed full of photos and I haven't got the energy in my arms to download them. Not only that. I just assumed the winner got published and that's that. No, the winner got a $10,000 cash award prize. I would have known about it if I had bothered to read further on the site. Second, third, and fourth place prizes wouldn't have hurt either. That's when the sickness set in.

Man, I'm such a stoop. I think this calls one one huge, gigantic, ginormous, monumental rationalization. I need a good one. Okay. Got it. I say he would have won no matter what because he's got a fairly well known name and likely has connections and often the judges are very subjective anyways. That's what I'll say to myself.

Pretty pathetic. And I'm not much comforted either. At least no one knows how bummed I really am. I need that flashie thingie from the movie "Men In Black" to erase this awful memory. But then, I might make the same mistake again. Okay, I'll keep the memory and be smarter next time, or a least more punctual when there's something I should attend to right away. Yes.

Starting, starting, starting. . . tomorrow!

(I had two lovely comments, and a funny one from Jules, but I clicked something wrong and they're gone. I'm sorry.)

Almost done

Just finished working lunch break at the Visitor's Center. It's crazy. It's a steady influx of cars and trailers. I didn't make any boo-boos so it's another good day. I decided to drink decaf tea instead of coffee this morning and it helped. I still had a stomach ache at the start of the hour, but once I was working I forgot about it. Husband talked with Mona, the beautiful Mona, and she says she thinks after 6:00 we don't need to direct traffic. We're schedule for 5pm to 9pm. I hope we get dismissed at 6pm! I think we will because everyone can come in for free for the fireworks after 6pm. That's mighty nice of the state and the Friends community group to put on such a spectacular fireworks show and let people enter the park for free.

Working

Work went fine today. It was one hour in the Visitor's Center and two hours directing traffic. I was lucky that at 3pm the sun was making a wee bit of shade for me next to the building. I stood with my back slick against the wall to try to be in its shade. I had one person go through and I think she didn't pay. I think she had a blank receipt in her window and she was hoping I couldn't read it from as far away as I was. I let her go through because it's not like I could leave the gate open and walk to the other side of the lane. The other person who was almost a problem was in a motorhome and decided he was going to have a conversation with me. I told him he's blocking the emergency lane and please pull to the side and get out and go in the Visitor's Center. He was very nice and understanding, so it wasn't a bad experience. It was hot though. My ears went weird. It was like they were stuffy and when I talked I could hear myself very loudly in my head. I wonder if it was the heat. Anyway, it was a bummer. Took an hour to go away after we got home. Tomorrow will be the busiest day.

In the Visitor's Center I so don't want to make a mistake. I told the gal from Santa Fe that I'm better at the window than the counter and she let me work the window. I like her. But I'm such a nervous Nellie. My hands shake a tiny bit and I'm sure she noticed because she asked me if I'm okay. "Oh I'm fine," I said. She probably thinks I'm on meds. No, I'm not on meds. It's the natural me.

The other volunteers who worked a different kiosk are upset. They came up $64.00 short. I've never come up short to date. I take the cash, say out loud the amount charged and the amount the customer gives me, set it on the register, give them their change, and then I place the money in the drawer only after they see their change so if they argue with me I can show them the cash they handed me.

The boys in the kiosk today were young. Hired for the summer months. An employee came in and told them to look sharp because the director of state parks (the entire state) was here. One kid said he didn't care. Said he wasn't trying to impress anyone. What a shame. You never know when you may make an impression and it could work in your favor in the future. One boy said to the other, "I'll be back. I gotta take a p*ss break." They knew I'm standing right by the open window. Yuck. He also made a big sound like an old man and spit. I was quite grossed out. The other boy sloshed water in his mouth and spit it out. I don't know why and I don't want to know why. Suffice to say, I'm unimpressed by the local boys. The employee pool here is pretty shallow. I daresay they both lack motivation, initiative, and drive, and I predict they will not go far. Pity the girls who marry them. My husband says men aren't supposed to spit when women are around. I was married to him for 12 years before I ever knew he spit. He only did it when he ran when he was preparing for the LA Marathon. I saw him do it by accident. I was shocked! It's never happened since.

I'm making a disco CD for him. I like researching music. Talk about shallow. My vast knowledge of '70s and '80s music makes me pretty shallow. I used to be so embarrassed that he liked the Bee Gees. I was disdainful of disco. His daughter would slide down real low in the front seat of the car so no one would see her with him when he listened to the Bee Gees. Haha! Strange thing has happened in 30 years. The Bee Gees and Donna Summer songs made me smile. What's up with that.

I also downloaded "You Dropped A Bomb On Me" by The Gap Band. It so reminds me of dancing in 1983 at 94th Aero Squadron before I was married. Used to go with Lisa and Mary. Lisa was my friend until I met my husband. It was so weird. When I was single and sad she was a great friend, but when I met a really good guy she kicked me to the curb. I should think she would have been happy for me, but she stopped being my friend. She and Mary and I were room mates. I moved out soon after and that was the end of that.

Traffic control

Tomorrow we do four hours of traffic control from 5pm to 9pm. Not looking forward to it, but at least we won't be in the hot sun. Monday is 4th of July. We worked the Visitor's Center for an hour today. It wasn't too bad. We didn't get backed up. We're expecting well over 100,000 visitors for the week-end. They're already here some of them. Our loop is full and the shoreline is filling up. There was a car crash in the park today, but people weren't hurt.

My bellydance friend phoned me today and invited me to El Paso to watch her perform and do some workshops. I'm not going to go. I feel badly about the other girl who would share a room with us. She's a beautiful and talented dancer. Her father a Baptist minister. Something about her aches my heart.  Is it the Holy Spirit?

I think she sells her body, that is, she sells her self. They think poor little Lil is blind. It's the body the men want, but the self gets taken in the bargain. One can say she keeps her self separate, but it's a slow death of the heart. The money and the travel she finds irresistible. I think she cannot be paid enough for the part of her inside self that's getting ruined. And children are not dumb. Sooner or later they know what their mother is doing. It's not a good living. It's a bad living. Pretty it up with expensive clothes and exotic places for a season. One day you wake up older and still alone in your parent's home.

Me. I'd rather be a secretary making minimum wage eating Rosarita Refrieds every night and take care of myself.

A finding

I find that when I go to sleep at night I'm very comforted by the feeling of my iPod in my hand. I always keep it right under my pillow so I can feel around and find it, in the dark, without ever waking up my husband. Last night I didn't even need to put my ear pods in my ears. Are they called ear pods. The ear thingies. I didn't even put them in. I was holding my iPod, my pillow all soft and puffy around my head, my blankets tucked under my chin just right, and I drifted off into a sweet sleep. I said my prayers but didn't finish with "in the name of Jesus." I popped awake and added a few more people and told God these are all together in one batch even though I went to sleep for a few minutes in between, in the name of Jesus, your precious Son, amen. Then I slept all night. I slumbered which is to be dormant or quiescent. This is a good thing for the insomniac, which I hate to use that word, so rather let me say, when you're a night owl.

Pizza

I ordered a pizza for dinner. Went to pick it up and they said they had no order for me. I was a little bent out of shape because we were hungry. They asked if I ordered it from their store and I said, Well, of course I did.

Then I sat down and thought for a minute. Looked at my phoney-phone-phone. Looked up the numbaroo I dialed. I guess I put the number for Pizza Hut in my phone when we were visiting California. Ordered a pizza two states away. Whoopsie! I didn't pick it up either!

A day

Miss him. He's gone to 4-H Pig School. I've been looking forward to him being gone so we could be free. Now he's gone and I'm somewhat miserable. What's this? A crack in my exterior?

Guess I'll hem my pants. I got some new tops. Here's one. I got the pink one. It's superly, duperly cute. I hope it washes well. I bought everything in a size large which is inch-wise one size too big, but everything fit. Some of the reviews said to buy one size up. I like those reviews. Sometimes they're pretty helpful. A lot of the dancewear does run small. If you have any actual curves you may burst the seams. I might cut off the sleeve ribbon. It's actually cute, but may be too muchy cutie for me. I do like off the shoulder stuff. Selena schooled me on a bunch of fashion tips and she said the fashion mag informed her that my build looks best in off the shoulder garments.

Saw about a dozen baby quail yesterday. A big batch.

I'm a little homesick and I'm the one at home.

I deleted the "Rockstar" by Prima J song from my list. Well, might keep the song because it cracks me up, but turned out the video is too jumpy for me. . . . Not in favor of the jumping.

The Sweetest Sound

My husband laughing while talking on the phone with our eldest son.

Also,

Baby Liliana's laugh.

Next song

The next song I'm adding is Rockstar by Prima J. I should probably not link to it because YouTube videos have a way of disappearing. Anyhoo, it has a very cute beat and the words are just terrible. Not profane, but it's about two highly conceited girls who think they're models and gorgeous and that everyone is looking at them. Like Grama says, these are things you shouldn't say about yourself. You should let other people say them about you.

I'm going to use it in the beginning as a warm-up. I think it's cute and very easy. I've been wasting billions of minutes trying to find a converter, a free one, that will convert iTunes songs to WAV format so that I can do a radio edit. I thought this song said, "Oh my God" in it, and I was going to reverse God to say dog. Heh. But wonder of wonders. I checked two different sets of lyrics on YouTube and listened over and over, and I'm sure they're not saying "Oh my God." I couldn't believe it. All this time I've wasted thinking I needed to edit it.

A mere 15 minutes

I have all of 15 minutes of Zumba songs memorized.  I have 45 minutes to go.  Ohmygosh.  It's taken me a month to memorize this much.  I have to go faster.

In college I had nearly enough dance credits to minor in dance.  One class stopped me.  Choreography.  I was afraid to take choreography.  You had to audition students, pick music, create choreography, teach it, and see it performed in the once yearly Student Dance Concert. The college had a very good dance department and they still give performances, to this day, to a full house. How I wish I had expressed my fear with someone who could have encouraged me.  I was too quiet though.  Twenty-five years later I have the opportunity to do what I was too chicken to do back then. 

"If you can hear the inaudible, think the unthinkable, see the invisible, believe the incredible, you can do the impossible."  

In the Zumba class I know we're going to break up into groups of four and each student must come up with choreography to a song.  I can see that it is potentially fun because it's cool to see how differently each person interprets music with their body, but it's, it's, it's. . . . choreography.

"If you can hear the inaudible, think the unthinkable, see the invisible, believe the incredible, you can do the impossible." 

I once attended a cattle call for dancers at Disneyland in L.A. A cattle call is when anyone is welcome to apply. I danced woefully badly because one of the qualities needed for professional success as a dancer is to pick up dance steps quickly. I never did pick up steps quickly. I can learn them well. I can make them my own. But I need time and I have never been able to do it fast. Man, we danced across this mondo humongous auditorium and let me say this about that - the walk back to my seat after a very public failure was the farthest, longest walk of my life.

After I get 60 minutes of songs memorized I'll have a base to add to and change around. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.

Get well!

I think of April and wonder how she is.  She has the best care possible and I pray the Great Physician heals her perfectly and completely.  The angel said to Mary, "With God, ALL things are possible." I can hear him, Gabriel, in my head.

"If you can hear the inaudible, think the unthinkable, see the invisible, believe the incredible, you can do the impossible." 

Oooh.  That's just a saying, but I heard that too.  In my head.  It's in a big, strong voice.  I've been yelling like a Marine, "SIR.  Yes, SIR!"  this evening.  I might be annoying my husband with it a little. I hope none of the neighbors complain.  Maybe that's why everything is in a big, strong voice tonight.

I feel happy now!

Get well, April.  Don't take too many meds (I know you won't).  Walk around when you can.  Drink.  Eat fruit.  Sit outside if it's nice.  Dream good dreams.  Put your faith in the Lord.  He has good plans for you. Hear it?  Jeremiah 29:11---> "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Yeah.  I'll take some of that too!

I short. I'm SHORT.

I signed up at the gym last night and thought they were having aerobics but it was yoga.  It was a great class.  My abs are sore today. I was the only student.  When I was attending a year ago the gym was busier.  I wonder where everyone went.  They only have aerobics once a week now.  Mondays.  Step aerobics.  I'm going to go and not use the step.  The step slowly kills my feet and knees. It doesn't happen right away.  It's subtle.  Devious.  Once it hurts then it hurts for months.

Got my new pants yesterday.  Rushed to try them on and was so disappointed that I didn't look like the model.  Unfortunately, a 5'1" person cannot look like a 5'9" person in pants.  My husband loved them on me, but I was a little blue.  They're hipster pants and they go only 1.5" or 2" below my belly button.  That model had miles and miles of tummy showing below her belly button and looked so pretty.  Not that I planned on wearing a crop top and showing my tum, but all my tops are long.  In fact the fashion is long tops so all of mine completely cover up the detailing at the waist.  I may as well be wearing plain black pants and save a lot of money if the pink and white and the drawstring doesn't show.

I shopped last night online for a shorter top and found a couple possibilities.  I neatly folded the pants the way they came, using the same creases, and put them back in their package thinking 50/50 I might return them today.  They are very well made and the supplex/lycra fabric has absolutely fantastic holding power.  I wondered how those girls keep their behinds from shaking like jello.  It's the pants!  The pants make you look really firm.  I need pants like this for my entire body.

But during the night, my great thinking time, I got a bright idea.  I remember the girls in dance would bunch their shirts up at the side or back and put a band on it.  I put on my pants and tried it with one of my tops and it worked!  Yay.  It doesn't ride up, yet is cute.  Success.  Problem solved.  I still will order a top or two to see if I can get two tops to go with the pants for variety.

Baz Luhrmann says don't read fashion magazines.  They will make you feel ugly.  And take care of your knees he says.  You'll miss them when they're gone.  I never appreciated how important they are till recently. 



Son is taking the semester test for life science.  I hope he does well.

Horse dreams

I'm getting good at grooming Bella. Son gave her a bath about three weeks ago and washed the winter season away and that one bath has made such a difference. When I brush her now I can get the white very white. I brought all my grooming tools home and cleaned them yesterday.

We bought 100 bales of hay for her this week and unloaded them too.  Above is a picture of 100 bales.  I have a bruise on my thigh from trying to carry a bale on my side like Leah. Here I am jogging and Zumba-ing and I was huffing and puffing carrying this hay. Leah wasn't fazed. She wasn't even breathing heavily. Sheesh.

Son has trained Bella so well that when I was washing her foot today she picked it up for me. Sweet little thing, she is.

We'd like, ideally, to buy 80 more bales. Cecilio said that 180 bales would be enough for one year, but I don't think we have a place to store 80 more. That's too bad.

Tonight husband said maybe sometime he will buy me a horse. I was so surprised! Completely surprised. I don't know if it could ever really happen, but it's nice to think it's possible. It gives me nice dreams. I love to think of Bella's body and brushing her. I bought her some fly spray called Endura and I hope it's effective. It should be delivered next week. The flies are so pesky and land on her eyes. I don't like that. She's perfect when I wipe her eyes with a cloth now. It's a part of my grooming routine that she wasn't crazy about at first. She'd swish her head around. Now she stands perfectly.

She's a little depressed though. Her friend, Bailey, and her mom got moved. The pasture is supposed to get planted but the man has still not come to do it. Bella only has mean Dancer next to her and Dancer's baby. Bella and the baby like each other but that darn Dancer has nipped Bella's behind twice now.

I wash Bella's water barrel once or twice a week. As soon as we put her back in her corral area the first thing she does is drink. She loves fresh water. She knows we love her. I cleaned Dancer's two water barrels today too.

I'm going to bed and will dream a dream of my own horse someday. I still haven't gone riding. That's a bit dorky. I'm putting the dreaming ahead of the experiencing. Even if it never happens, we have Bella. Everyone says we spoil her. No, we love her.

Don't think I'll ever be a manager

The other day we were working in the Visitor's Center and a senior couple drove up to the window and asked to purchase an annual day use pass. I was at the window and explained that it will take a few minutes to do this and to avoid causing a back-up at the entrance, please make a u-turn, park, and come inside to buy the pass.

The man made a u-turn all right. He drove up to the window again the wrong way! Whaaat? I look out the window and screamed (not a long scream, a short scream) and hurriedly told him to continue forward, turn left, follow the road and re-enter the park. He drove off, I turned around and said, "Did you just see that?"

My husband rolled his eyes and said, "Oh, you handled that well." He's always Mr. Cool Toes in situations. He's never screamed except for once in 2005 in Alaska in our first trailer when the water suddenly turned ice cold and he was in the shower.

Drivers are crazy! It's a lucky thing there was no oncoming traffic.

4-H

Oh dear.  The mom who was supposed to hand out flyers and take care of publicity for our big 4-H breakfast fundraiser didn't do anything.  She forgot.  This is a bad thing.  We got there this morning at 6:30am and Leah and Kelly were already there.  The kids worked and we moms worked (I worked the least) and earned $20.00 more than was spent on all the breakfast food and plates and cups and stuff.

Eldest son phoned and it was pure joy to talk to him.  His job is going well.  The wife and babies and mom-in-law are doing well.  And I blurted out that I have an apology to give him.  I told him about when he was 12 and he was hungry for lunch and I didn't feel like making him a sandwich, but my husband told me to make one for him.  I did and I did it with a mean, hateful heart, and tossed the peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the table in front of him.  I may have made him cry.  I used to be so bad about preparing food because I never wanted to do it.  Over the years I've improved, thanks be to God who caused me to see myself as I am and also thanks to the example my husband has been.  My husband has always made food with love.  I've tried hard to be more like him in this way.  So tonight I said I was sorry about it and eldest son said, "I'm not scarred, Mom.  I don't even remember it."  He's such a guy! And then he said he's noticed that as people get older and they have time to reflect on the past (and he kindly said, he's not saying that I'm old, haha!) he said they tend to remember the bad memories.  I asked if he got that from his psychology classes and he said, nope, it's just him talking.  It is true.  It's true for me.  I wonder if it's true for others.

Tonight I'm thinking of what Jesus said, “The mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart” (Matt. 12:34).  Confession is no use without repentance.  I don't know if I can take too much of seeing myself as I really am though.

Next week I'm signing up at the gym for yoga and some kind of cardio class.  I have to or else the girly girls at Zumba will hurt me bad!  My two month prep plan was to work-out on my own one month and then join the gym one month before my Zumba class.  I read one student said she thought she was going to leave her bladder on the floor during the certification class.  Hahaha!  Last year when I went to the belly dancing week-end workshop I was working out at the gym and during a killer samba routine I was one of the few students keeping up.  So.  I think I should follow the same plan since it worked once already.  I do jogging every other day.  It's 1.5 mile fast walking (I get lost in my thoughts and slow down way too often), one mile jog, .5 mile walk.  It's brutal every time.  I don't like it one bit, but afterward I feel good.  Accomplished.  

We're back in the 90s and it's beautiful here.

Cute pants I hope

My husband was gone for two days. Everything was fine while he was gone. No emergencies or breakdowns which is good because he took the truck and if there was an emergency I'd have no transportation.  We have good neighbors though. Our son was a great help to me and I told him he reminded me of the character of Travis in one of my favorite books, Old Yeller. When Travis' dad leaves the family to go to Abilene, Travis takes on all of his father's responsibilities and does a good job too. What would I do without him? I don't know. We stayed up late because we couldn't sleep well with husband gone. I accidentally made up a funny voice and couldn't stop using it and made son laugh and laugh till midnight.

We are all together again and it is good.

The graham crackers were calling me from the kitchen cupboard to our bedroom very loudly last night. I lay in bed trying to distract myself by listening to my iPod. Milk said, "Get up and come to the refrigerator.  I'm cold and delicious. Pour a tall glass and have only one graham cracker." My tummy grumbled. Of course the milk knows I never, but never, eat only one graham cracker. I finally fell asleep. Go me!

Ordered a pair of pants for Zumba. I hope they fit well.

A day

There was a huge sandstorm for about an hour yesterday. Husband left the truck windows cracked so sand got all inside the truck. He left the awning down for shade while we were gone to the laundromat so when we got home it was ripped and partly folded. Our front door blew open because someone, who hereby shall remain unnamed but it wasn't me, didn't close the door properly. The air conditioner was running - cooling down the outside world. Husband did considerable yelling.

After I looked everything over and sat down I said, "Well, nothing was stolen. It could be worse." So to me, much relieved, as long as all we did was cool the outside for awhile and rip the awning, why get in an uproar. Repair cost for the awning will cause some pain. But overall, it'll be all right.

The 4-H meeting was pretty good. I need to look up parliamentarian procedures because the kids are supposed to be using parliamentarian procedures and I don't know how to do it, but I know they're not doing it. I need to buy a gavel for our 4-H president. I like him a lot. He's a neat kid. I'm going to have a private talk with one of our boys who laughed and goofed off during Pledge of Allegiance - and he was leading the pledge. I think we should have him do it again and do it right and respectfully. I spoke with a 4-H grama who sat next to me. Her son was in Afghanistan then sent to Iraq where he died during his second tour. She told me he was killed by a roadside bombing. So far from home and love. She didn't cry and I tried not to. So I'm gonna share this with the young man and I believe it'll make an impression on him. During the meeting something came up. I forget what it was now, but I said, "That's anti-American." I wonder if that's why she told me about her boy. I'm a flag waver for sure. Her name is burned on my brain. Sandra. I never remember names, but I'll remember Sandra.

Hot

It's still hot. A little too hot. Inside our trailie we can only keep it in the mid-80s when it gets over 100 outside. They should have built this size trailer with 50 amp, but it only has 30 service. The breaker did trip once yesterday while we were out. Yesterday was a record 104°. It was 104° in 1996. I want to break the record not equal the record. I like hot weather but over 100° is too muchy. Our truck thermometer said 108°. Anyhoo, it's warm again. The week-end was uneventful. Today we're homeschooling and then going to the laundromat at 3:00pm. We have 4-H meeting tonight at 6:00pm.

Zumba routines

Brand new blog category.  I will list the choreography links that I like best and that I'm learning.  This is the result of hours of searching for steps I like.

Normally, I would never have considered getting certified in Zumba because 1) I'm not a natural leader and, 2) living in a rural area would normally make it hard to obtain fresh dance moves.  But if I want to Zumba, and not alone, I will have to be the one to teach it.  Small town and no one else is doing it. 

Praises to YouTube and the wonders of information shared on the internet!  Instructors are only too happy to create and share their wonderful music selections and fun dance steps they've put together. Also, Zumba sends DVDs with new choreography to its members every two months.  These two factors mean that even though there's no dance studio here and the closest city is 70 miles away, I can attend the instructor certification class and then continue learning dances on my own from the Zumba DVDs and the YouTube community.  Way cool.

My favorites:

"Kuliquitaca" by Tony Rosario choreographed by the Merengue Sisters.  Got it memorized and it's my favorite one of all.  Very fun to do. My daughter-in-law speaks Spanish fluently and she said the beginning of the song he speaks of his love for his country and the rest. . . . is gibberish. Cracked me up. I told her I couldn't find any English translation. No wonder.

Tanya's video  This is the most viewed of all Zumba videos.  She's got Latin dance in her blood I'd say and interacts beautifully with her class.  I've memorized the first song, Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie" and almost all of the third song "Mueve La Colita"  The literal translation of colita is "little tail" so it's saying move your little behind.  I'm gonna substitute plain hand clapping for the spanking movement. I think she looks good doing the little spanking part, but the rest of us would look lame. I've seen it done badly and it's pretty sad to see. If you're gonna be cool, be all the way cool, but if you ain't got it, face it. I'm not too proud to admit I am not as cool as Tanya.

Lola's Cumbia Celtica I love to watch the girl to the right of Lola.  Also love her shoes.  Must have the shoes.  The hips in the forward walking section are taking me the longest to learn.  Takes some finesse to get the hips going with the shoulders and take 8 small steps forward all at the same time all in unison.  lol!

Courtney Sajben's choreography for "Say hey, I love you" by Michael Franti.  I heard this song on the radio last week.  Checked to see if anyone used it for Zumba and, voila!, found Courtney's video.  I was attracted to this vid because I like her "Say hey" arm wave and the forward walking "window washing" arm movement.  Cute and cool.

So this is five songs, fast ones.  I need a warm-up, a cool down, plus three more.  They say a one hour Zumba class consists of about ten songs.

I'm finding that, for example in Lola's cumbia, a dance actually requires a bit less energy after I memorize it.  In learning a dance, I expend more energy trying to keep up, correcting myself when I do it wrong, comprehending the movement, and cataloging it in my brain.  Catching up when I've executed the steps wrong takes up energy.

Hot, hot, hot

It's hot.  Outside temp is 96º and it's only noon.  We're hoping our trailie a/c will handle the load okay.  If not, small possibility we'd have to rent a house or apartment for the summer.  I pray it doesn't come to that.

I'm pleased with my new route.  I found that I can take a park trail almost all the way to the city's newly paved multi-use path. I read sand is good to run in, but my ankles like the paved path better.  So.  Asked husband to measure the distance and the path I jogged last night is one mile and the park trail is .5 mile.  That means I walk jogged three miles and of that jogged one mile.  Oooohweee.  For me, that's good.  I waited till the sun was almost down because it'd be crazy to run in the sun.  They have some cute three level water fountains on the path: tall for adults, small for children, and low to the ground for dogs.  Cute!  But they're not turned on yet.

I'm practicing my Zumba routines every day.  I figure it'll give me a head start so I can teach a class as soon as possible after I get certified.  YouTube is a gold mine.  A friend here got a Zumba CD to get ready for when I'm certified and she said she told her friends I'll be teaching.  It kinda pumped me up.  Then even better, whilst I was running the multi-use path yesterday a rig drove by and honked at me.  He did the honkity, honk, honk, HONK HONK, tune.  Well, that inspired me to run the whole mile and hold my stomach in real hard.  I found a very good running bra at Wal-Mart - two for $11.00.  It's better than the more expensive ones I bought at the mall.  My sister told me about them.  She's always telling me about good products.  She's a shopaholic.

Son is out playing at a friend's house.  My husband came home and said the friend said to tell me that he's playing baseball tonight at 7:00pm and I can come take pictures if I want.  Haha!  That's a hint if ever I heard one.  I should go tonight.  He's a sweet kid and I do like him and his family.

Overall, I feel exceedingly well.  Last week was a bad week.  I didn't even realize I was peri-menopausal premenstrual.  Fun combination to be sure.  My husband commented that I was very quiet and I told him it was because I was afraid of what I might say!  It's a little funny now, but last week it wasn't funny.  I can hear somebody chewing and feel like I'm gonna implode and I have to make myself say nothing because nothing nice will come out of my mouth if I let it.

June

June, June, beautiful June.  Summer is my favorite season.

I've decided I hate the software that came with my Panasonic camera.  I can't even delete a photo while viewing it. Asks me if I want to download photos.  Duh, yes I do.  Have to click about four times to close the program.  Do I want to exit?  Duh, yes I want to exit. It's really dumb software.  The software developer should be pilloried.  I'm downloading the Panasonic photos using Windows from now on.

Our friend's daddy died Sunday.  He was in hospice. Our friend is very distressed and has been for some time.  Now he is emotionally distraught I think.  Worn to a frazzle from being primary caregiver, decision maker, a son, an only child.  Both of his folks are gone now.  I feel so bad for him and his family.

A nice geologist died here in the park on Tuesday morning.  They found him lying on the sand.  He had been on our loop and moved to the beach.  He gave a couple army men to our son.  His adult son visited with him the night before.  He passed on so quick and sudden.  None of us can know how long we have here on Earth.  It's the third death for the parks this year - a high number and summer has not even begun.  One man, about in his 50s, fell into the water perhaps of a heart attack.  The last death, a drowning, was one of two young men in a canoe.  The canoe tipped over.  One man made it to shore.  The other didn't - the one who had been drinking.  I'm amazed that alcohol can affect your swimming so much.  I guess it makes them make bad decisions or could it be that he wasn't coordinated enough.  I don't know.  Rangers have to pull the bodies out of the water and one of them took about three weeks to surface.  I don't want to think about that!

My hair is down to 47.5 inches.  Sometimes the knees look close and sometimes they look far.  I'm having to wash much more from sweating so much.  Get sweaty and dirty taking care of Bella and get sweaty from Zumba work-out and or jog/walking in 90+ degree weather.  I found a new song I'm gonna probably use.  It's the "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" rap song.  Too funny.

Matthew says in Matt. 10:16.  "...be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves."  I'm navigating potentially dangerous waters choosing my music for Zumba dance.  I am in the world, but not of it.  My Zumba class will be different from the rest.  No profanity in the lyrics.  No flagrant sexual content.  Wonder if I can slip in a Christian rap song like "Feelin' So Fly" by TobyMac.  Using the kids' slang, that would be really sick.  Hahaha!

It's Memorial Day

Click to enter, then click on "Essay" on the left hand side.  Happy Memorial Day.  Remember to remember those who sacrificed their lives.

Oryoku Maru Online

Work was terrible.  I want to go to bed.  A stupid person crossed over two lanes after I told him go straight ahead to the window.  It was a car with three young guys.  He plugged up the emergency lane and backed up incoming traffic for ten minutes.  He had a credit card and drove over to the cash only window.  Idiot.  It ruined my day.  We were then told not to use the emergency lane unless traffic got very, very backed up because if an emergency vehicle had come it could have ruined someone else's day too.  It was going so smoothly with three lanes to use until that happened.  One stupid person insists on getting in front and he ruins it for everyone entering the park now.

I had no fun.

It's hoppin' here

The tourists are at Wal-Mart.  My husband said there are all kinds of people there. Service was fast though so they must have prepared for it. We've got traffic control today from 1:30pm to 3:30pm.  Other years we've worked traffic three or four hours at a time so two hours will be a breeze.  The sun is out and shining hot though.  The other down side is I have cramps and it's a bad day for cramps. 

Man, there's a lotta people here.  We have a good loop because we get mostly families and mellow people in this area.  The partiers tend to gather on the lake.  Last night was unusual in that we saw sirens three or four times before 11:00pm.  I think it makes visitors aware that law enforcement present and that's a good thing.  We sat outside and could hear whoops of excitement coming from the lake shore.  We heard on the radio that a jet ski broadsided a boat.  I hope there were no serious injuries.  So many people are boating and skiing, fishing and swimming.

I've been on pins and needles thinking about the 180 songs I purchased from iTunes and never backed up.  It's been preying on my mind.  I heard you should back up your songs.  I meant to.  I intended to.  Never did.  I set hope against hope that when I downloaded iTunes on my new cool computer that my songs would magically appear.  But they didn't.  I stared, dumbfounded, at a brand new iTunes interface with three lame songs that came with this Toshiba computer while all my music, lovingly selected, collected and arranged in playlists, sits forever lost in silence and darkness on my dead hard drive.

But I thought, if Apple can move songs from my computer to my iPod, then surely there must exist a way to move the songs from my iPod to my computer.  And there is.  I spent three hours last night transferring them. Found free software recommended CNET to do it for me.  I could have spent twenty bucks and done in all one click, but I chose the free way which only let me do ten songs at a time.  I transferred 377, my 180 purchased, plus others.  It is a job . . . . done. 

I have an energy deficit today.  My mouse hand is sore and there's a herpes blister on my lip still which upset me because earlier in the week when I worked in the front office and I had to greet everyone with a swollen lip.  It's scabbed over but it still hurts.  Most unfair.

I'm having second thoughts about homeschooling for high school.  He's going into eighth next year.  I have to think what our options are.

Thursday

It's not too busy yet, but it's picking up.  I volunteered in the office for four hours yesterday morning.  Came home and took a three hour nap.  I was whipped!  Today I do 3 1/2 hours in the office in the afternoon.  I like being in the office and I like the ladies there.

My arm is sore because I asked Mona for something to do in between phone calls.  She gave me 40 bank cash holder bags and told me to find the Clorox wipes and wipe them clean.  Some of them were pretty gross and I had to use elbow grease.  I'm averse to elbow grease.  I'd rather answer phones, but I faked it pretty good.  Oh I'm so tough as nails.  My husband called me wimpy just now.  Sadly, it's true.  I'm all girly-fied.

Quit Facebook Day

Our son told me that yesterday Leo Laporte said Facebook is evil.  I can't believe it!  He's the tech guy on the radio we like to listen to.  But the thing is, it's so me that he said it's evil!  I asked our son, did he use that very word?  Evil?  Because when I think something is evil I say it's evil.  Freaks people out though.  Yes, he did say it, said my boy.

QuitFacebookDay.com coming up May 31, 2010

Only a couple weeks ago our son opted to close down his Facebook page and quit Facebooking altogether.  He's ahead of the curve I think.  I made him use a fake name which some of our friends made fun about.  And I now see, I'm not the only one who felt this way.  I'm not alone!

I asked him, "Why did you quit?" and he said every time he turned on his computer he went to Facebook first.  He said he thought it was a waste of his time and he didn't want to do it anymore.  

When he wanted to try Facebooking I didn't say no because that would only make it more enticing.  So he started up a page and got a few friends.  But I told him straight up from the git-go.  I said if you wanna see Grama, don't you dare go look at her Facebook page and stare at the computer screen, post a sentence or two and tell her to look at your pictures.  My arms were all flailing about and I said, "You pick up the phone and you call your Grama.  You can talk about what you've done lately and ask her how she is.  It will make her happy and she'll tell everyone you called her, and you will feel good that you did it."

I'm so proud of him and his decision-making.  I never once encouraged him to close it down, but he did hear me yammering about deactivating mine and it must have made him think.  He's been calling and texting his ex-Facebookers and I find it's much more personal than Facebook.  The calls have had a positive effect on the relationships - which is important because he's 13 and he's developing his character.  I like that.

Facebook draws in high click rates because once a visitor logs in they go to more and more pages to see pictures of . . . . other people.  It's like monkeys in a mirror.  See me, me, me, see you, you, you, ooooh ooooh, eeee eeee, ah ah ah.  I know I can say that because I was doing it too for awhile.

But the real reason why I dislike Facebook is because the material I post; my photos, my wrrrds, instantly belong to Facebook.  I do not like that.  Moreover, Facebook blatantly uses its Facebookers.  They've even given out to the advertiser the names or info of Facebookers who clicked on the advertisement.   One must be vigilant to the extreme to constantly ensure you block what you don't want to see, and opt out of this, that, and the other.  But your personal data belongs to them.  It's agreed to it in the Terms of Service.

It's an addictive time waster.  And those 1000 Friends are not friends. 

I've heard there's a way to actually delete my Facebook page instead of just deactivate it.  That too, I found curious.  Any place else, I hit delete and I'm deleted.  I can go through channels to get the data back possibly, but generally delete means it's gone.  At Facebook, delete means deactivate.  Everything is still there.

I have a friend who could care less if Facebook is profiting off of him.  I say then go out and buy some shoes and hats and shirts and pants with brand names stamped on them so you can be a walking advertisement 24/7.

I'm not saying it's all debris.  Some of it could be blessing.  Let's say 5%.   It ain't much.

I have a plain picture of my hair from this morning.  I figure one is due because my current pic is six months old.

Don't look at the white legs.

Analysis:  I'm letting the ends go without taking off a couple inches so I can make more progress.  The ends are not that bad.  They're so-so/okay.  That's my new skirt from Target in San Diego.  My new favorite skirt.  Meh.  What can I add about the hair.  It's hair.

I have to work in the front office Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.  Memorial Day week-end is coming up, one of the busiest times in the park.  AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!  I don't know if I will be any good in the front office.  I'm really worried I can't answer all the questions.  AAAUUUUGGGHHH!

Fresh day

My computer died.  I'm on my new cool Toshiba laptop Satellite A505-S6033. Oh my goodness. It has a 500 gb hard drive and the Intel i7 quad-core processor - the fastest available. I'm happy to the extreme. Usually we buy the second from the best because the best will be second best in six months anyways, but this time I got the number one processor. It's sweet and worth every cent. I've been on a desktop for the past couple years and am blown away that everything I had with the desktop, and more, is in this laptop. My screen is smaller and I'll miss the big one when I'm processing pics and doing more than one thing at a time, but I'll get used to it. I'm a multitasker. It's on my résumé from 15 years ago.  We always laugh about it because I'm so not a multitasker.  Instead, I'm utterly consumed by one thing at a time at the expense of all other things.

I made a considerable error in judgment when all I did was copy my photos.  I'm whining about it now, to no avail. Spent an hour reinstalling Photoshop. Had to phone Panasonic about a Windows 7 patch to make their camera software work properly. Stupidly deleted the email from Canon six months ago that linked me to patches to make their software work. Put my daily devotional CD in storage now I have to find it. Ah well, the bitter comes with the sweet. The reason my desktop quit, we think, is because it needed to be vacuumed out. I burned out the processor says my husband.

Jules, I wrote you, but it got bounced back to me undeliverable. Would you drop me a line please? And if anyone who emailed with me will please drop me a line so I can rebuild my address book the easy way I'd sure appreciate it. You don't have to write a giant email. Just say hi to me so I can do it the easy way and automatically save you to my address book.

I slept outside last night. It was gorgeous. If the wind isn't too bad we're giving Bella her first bath today!

Crashed

My computer crashed yesterday. Horrifying. Son turned on the radio controller for his boat and my machine didn't like it. I was practicing a Zumba choreography, one I had downloaded from YouTube, and suddenly it froze. I froze too. And then my screen got sparklies all over it like a watercolor painting and began to make a beep beep sound that wouldn't stop. I couldn't log off or turn off my computer. I unplugged it.

I waited till my husband got home and we could only turn on the computer in safe mode. Can't do much in safe mode. To make a long boring story of frustration short, we finally got Windows 7 to reinstall late last night and it seems to be working well today. I hope it really is fixed. It acted like it was fixed once and went back to crashing.

First thing I did last night was copy all my photos and vids, 77 gb, onto our external drive. As long as those are saved I can suffer through the loss anything else.

We're gonna buy hay today.

I'm in a little bit of a bad mood because my child is not cooperating like I want him to.

It's a sad day

It's a sad day when you're following yourself. I'm on my own sidebar under Followers. I tried to sign up for Leia's page and I don't know what happened. I followed the instructions, filled in the form, and bam, finish, I look and see I've signed up to follow myself. Now that is just sad! I must have gone in a little circle the wrong way - as per my usual.

Hopefully nobody comes by before I can get back to fix it. We have to home-school right now and then the Avon lady is coming by after 3:00pm.

While I was wondering what I did wrong I realized I can also change the title "Followers" to something of my own choosing. I shall change it. It's gotta go. I don't like that label. There are no sheeple here. Only independent thinkers. The esoteric few.

My favorite days

 I'm an auntie.  Dancer gave birth to a beautiful foal on April 16th. 

"The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world."  William Ross Wallace 1819-1881

Mother's Day and my birthday are my two favorite days. My husband cooks anything I want for dinner and everyone has to be nice to me all day. Everyone has to agree with me. No one can remind me of things left undone or on my to-do list or what I said I'd do and haven't done. Tonight we're having jambalaya. Mmmmm.

Last week I groomed Dancer and even completely brushed out her tail that almost touches the ground.  I've been afraid of her.  She bit the owner's daughter once so I've always been uneasy around her.  But I delivered her grain to her everyday for a month.  I worked up the nerve to walk into her stall and put it right in front of her then I left.  She got used to me.  When we came back from California I think she remembered me because she was calm when I approached and didn't mind me being near her baby.  The baby's real jumpy.  Jumpier than the other foals I've met at Cecilio's.  He's warming up though.  He's curious and sweet.

Last night I dreamt I cut my hair.  Myself.  It was bleached a horrible straw colored blond.  I put it in two low pony tails and cut each, chop, chop, to mid-back length, but oddly, as dreams are often odd, the mid-back-cut was just past my ears.  I swished it around in disbelief. I had a few bald patches on my head.  Walked around and no one noticed my hair was gone.  Awful dream.

Now to make Mother's Day calls!

Lovely day

Firstly, it was a beautiful day today. It's good to be alive.

Since we returned to New Mexico I made a promise to myself to eat my breakfast outside in the sunshine every morning instead of in front of my computer screen. It's the new Liliana! I've followed through for a whole week. My favorite part of the day is morning with coffee and toast. Each morning it goes by so fast though.

Son and daughter-in-law are at the hospital. She has preeclampsia (high blood pressure during pregnancy) and so they're inducing. Baby Andres will be born tonight. He's three weeks early. He's all formed, but will be just a little small. By the last month the baby is completely built but grows in length, size, and weight. Our son is beside himself with excitement and anticipation. He loves having babies. I noticed tonight he gets very annoyed when I accidentally call him by our younger son's name. They're both insulted when I call one by the others name. Give me a break. Cut me some slack. They haven't grown up together and we never visit, so they both think they're the only son.

Something I find rankling. Suicide ignored. Someone dies of a heart attack, old age, stroke, cancer, murder, people say so. Die of suicide - it's like an elephant is in the room.

My hair is 47" now. Tonight my husband said it's beautiful. He's so kind to me. A little fussy tonight, but he's had a long day.

Two

Yesterday two persons in one day hurt my feelings. The humans do annoy me. And now Helen has asked me to volunteer for a job. She says before I refuse to please pray about it. She knows I don't like being asked.

It's a hot one today. Got my hair in a great bun. Even used hair spray.

I downloaded a really cute Zumba choreo that I'm learning. There is one person for sure and maybe three here who are interested in doing Zumba with me. My daughter-in-law checked the lyrics for me and says they're mostly gibberish and there's no profanity whatsoever, so that's good!

Leaving CA

Tomorrow morning is it. It'll be about a seven hour driving day not counting stops.

My poor husband, he wanted to go home the first week. He misses the horse. How do you like that? A while back we heard that she was pacing. The people she's with will take excellent care of her I know for sure, but the pacing is because she's alone. Horses are supposed to be with other horses or at least a goat or a friendly kitty. When my husband heard she was pacing back and forth a lot he asked a friend to move her. I said, "What! You're having her moved immediately and you don't even mention it to me?" And he roared, "Well, we can't have a sad horse." Well, true enough. We can't have a sad Bella.

He let's us stay a whole month so I can see family and I had a nice time and possibly the best time ever with my sister. She and I exchanged a couple gifts tonight before she left. I gave her a pocket color wheel. I didn't have paper or a bow so I gave it to her plain. I did think to scribble out the price with a black marker. She liked it a whole bunch. She overlooks my shortcomings and inadequacies such as when I hand her a thing and say, "I got this for you!" Then she went to her car and came back with what? A gift bag all prettified with a bow and pretty print tissue paper inside. There were three things inside; two Avon things and one set of purple Skull Candy ear buds. Purple! Sigh. We must be sisters. Sort of opposites, but sisters nonetheless.

Her husband got her a load of seed beads for Christmas and wow, she split them with me. For free! I have a load of seed beads in my cubby now and I decided to make a simple seed bead bracelet out of Stretch Magic elastic. I made one that's three and a half feet long and I wrapped it around my wrist about nine times. I love that it doesn't move around on my wrist. I like bangles but have never been able to wear them because I find them too annoying on my arms. Plus I have small wrists so everything is too big for me. It took me about two and a half hours to make it.

Then today, shazzam, I bought a seed bead spinner gadget and it's fantastic. It really works. I can bead an inch of seed beads in a few seconds. Instead of picking every single bead up one at a time, centrifugal force pushes them onto a j-hook. I made another yard and a half long bracelet. And then I made a six foot long necklace. I ended up putting them all on my wrist. I think it looks delicious. I want to make another six foot long one for a matching necklace. I've always liked the look of being drenched in tiny beads, but I kind of thought Stretch Magic was too babyish. It's so easy and requires no skill, but there ya go. Efficient. Wearable. Simple pleasures for simple minds.

When we go home I hope to see Ivan soon because I really need a trim. And I can't wait to wear my cowgirl jacket somewhere. It was too warm to wear it today. I better wear it a lot or my husband is going to kill me.

Our eldest son has a highly stressful week coming up. It's the last week of academy. There's a shooting test and if you don't pass it, you lose your job. I'm confident he'll pass it, but it's still nerve wracking to be sure. And there's going to be a lot of marching one of those days - marching that will be watched by some mucky muck high up people. Our son will be the one shouting cadence. Cadence is when they holler "Left, left, left right left," and that sort of thing. He's done it before, but next week he's doing it for four miles. He's only done it for one mile at a time when he was in the Marines. He said he's going to have to think of enough things to say for four long miles of marching and running, keep the men energized and powered up the whole way, and of course look good doing it. There will be questions when all 31 of them are in a line-up and it will not be a time to choke. He said if anyone chokes they won't lose their job, but it will affect their placement if they show they don't handle stress well. I'm so proud of him. I can hardly believe he's my own baby. How can he do all this? And when he begins work he'll work 12 hour days; three days on, four days off, then four days on and three days off. He will get eight of those hours as overtime. Sweet.

I've heard there have been high winds while we've been gone from New Mexico. Part of the Interstate 10 from Las Cruces to Demming was closed down because of 65mph winds! That's a lot of wind.

I've been listening to a group called Los Lonely Boys. They're a small band that plays what's called Texican music which mixes Spanish and English. I like one called "Heaven." It reminds me of Manny. Sheesh. I miss our ranger and I'm sure he doesn't even know I think of him.

6 going on 7

Spent some time at my sister's tonight looking through our old family photo albums.

Me at the beach in 1965. It was a very good year.

A Polaroid.  Age 15.  1974.  I just finished painting my room light blue.  Wearing my favorite hand-me-down Levis from my best friend's brother, Don Turner.

Point Loma

Pacific Ocean at Point Loma, California

Our son went to the zoo with his grama and he was excited to go.  We had the afternoon to ourselves so we took a ride to Sunset Cliffs in Point Loma.  Temperature was about 71 degrees with a soft breeze making a short hike delightful.  There were a few people on the beach too.  I always enjoy the smell of the salt air.  Tons of yellow daisies growing everywhere. It was a perfect spring day.

This is where we walked from. We walked down that big crevice and looked at the water.

Next time we want to take the stairs down. I put it on our list of things to do.  The kids would love it.

The month

My dad's wife rented a super whoop-dee-doo rug cleaner machine. It looks like some kind of industrial strength Hoover upright vacuum. While we were at my dad's house, she told my sis that if she'd like to borrow it she's welcomed to it. My sister, a hardcore Mrs. CleanFreak, froze in her tracks. She looked at me. She looked at the rug cleaner. Again, me. Again the rug cleaner. I knew she was torn.

And then she turned down the offer. And she declared, "This is the month of Liliana! I cannot do any carpet cleaning this month." I was duly impressed because I know my sister would luuurve to super clean the carpet of her abode. She would probably do the backyard and front yard rugs too, and the garage rugs! They have rugs in the garage - to walk on when you're in the garage.

Anyway, I thought that was pretty nice that she set me above the carpet cleaning. Woohoo!

It is well

At a restaurant where I ate last week. Aztec warrior holding dead princess who loved him.

It is well with my heart.

My sister's on her way over. We're going shopping. I found a western jacket with long fringe on the sleeves that I like, but I need my sister's input before I buy it today if I buy it. I've been looking for one I like for two whole years. Husband seemed nonplussed by it and said get it if I want. Well! What is the matter with him.

Most of the western jackets I've found in-store and online are too gee-gawed out - too much embroidery, studs, big ugly buttons, or decoration of some sort all over them. I want a plain one.

I need new tweezers and checked makeupalley.com and Tweezerman is the best brand. I'm still on the hunt for a fragrance. The four I brought samples home of for my husband to smell, he disliked them all. Says I don't need perfume. He says I smell fine like I am. I told him he's so 2009. He insists I don't need a fragrance. We had words. No shots were fired though.

I have a new hairstyle that I have to get photos of.

It's been all good days all month.

Toothbrush, joy, and On Golden Pond

Today my husband bought us a four pack of toothbrushes and I got a purple one. A purple toothbrush. What a good day! I could end my post right here.

Yet I was happy through much of the day and not just on account of the excellent toothbrush. It wasn't excitement. It wasn't "Oh boy, oh boy!" kind of happiness. It was joy? Yes. The day was filled with joy. Anticipating seeing my sister gave me joy. Seeing my sister gave me joy. Being in San Diego in a nice campground, yet in the midst of major urban mania gave me joy (I bought lip gloss and a new cotton plaid skirt today). And dancing. I went to a Stretch and Strengthen class tonight and it was very good. The instructor has a master's in dance from New York. The hip-hop teacher has performed with Culture Shock Dance Center and I haven't been there but I know they have a massive reputation. The hip-hop class kicked my you-know-what. In a good way! Such a good work-out. I was sweating a lot. The teacher gave about six counts of eight and ol' Lil can remember two counts of eight, tops, in one day. I watched and followed a dancer in front of me who was very talented and fast. Unfortunately, in the first count of eight there was a step that goes real, real fast. Say 1,2,3,4, out loud, fast as you can and that's how fast those four steps were, and it was a strain for me to keep up. I've never been able to dance lightning fast. So I had to catch up quick. I faked it on a few steps. But I know I looked good in wide second where we all flipped our heads up and down twice. That, I can rock. We broke up into two groups and danced for each other a few times and then he turned down the lights and told us to get our attitudes and dance. Now that was fun. I sat down and the girl beside me gave me a two-handed high five. She was sure sweet. I was the worst dancer there. But you know, dance being such as it is, if you're too full of yourself to look imperfect then you'll never learn it. I picked up some great combinations that I can use. When and where I can use 'em, not sure. But anyway. . .

I have joy. And I have freedom. Husband bought me a Garmin, one of those GPS thingies. Man, I can go anywhere now. The Garmin got me to dance classes all by myself. Usually I am so afraid to drive so I only go where my husband will take me. I love him so. He's taken me a lot of places, but now I can go places by myself. And I haven't dented the truck either. Hahahaha!

*********************************

I can't stand Jane Fonda, but I do like her in Barbarella (she was so pretty).  And I watched On Golden Pond in 1981. I admit it.

In the movie, Jane does a backwards dive for her dad. She was never able to do it as a kid. I guess it was a big deal to her. She and her dad always had a troubled relationship. Story line was that he was mean toward her and he didn't like her. I dunno, it was a long time ago I saw the movie.

So my On Golden Pond is this: My dad phoned me yesterday and invited me up to help him get the '53 Buick he restored ready for a car show. I polished the chrome. Love to polish chrome. And I cleaned the windows - I'm not so fond of windows, but I did 'em. I picked up the hood for him because it was too heavy for him. When I was ready to go home he thanked me, man, about five times. I was kind of embarrassed he said so many thanks because I didn't do all that much.

One time my dad and I were at a show where he was showing his Corvette that he restored. There was some guy we were talking to. You always chat with car guys at a car show when you're with my dad. The other guy was all proud and bragging on his daughter around my age who had helped him clean his engine. That's why it was so shiny he said. She had small hands and was good at it. Liked to help him, he said. I felt a stab of jealously. I wished it were my dad talking about me instead. I would have liked to help my dad and have him talk about me like that. I worried about making my dad yell at me though. And if you yell at ol' Lil, well, she plum shuts down. God made me this way. I don't deal with the yelling well.

So I told my dad how working on the car with him reminded me of On Golden Pond. How I'd always had a secret desire to help him and I lived it out yesterday. And his response was not one I expected. He said he's tried to work on that. (I wondered what he meant.) He said he yelled too much and has tried to change. It was a moment. A snapshot in time. Of life. Of realization. Of concession. Not to sound all Valley Girl, but, wow, cool. Actually, I don't remember a lot of yelling, but when he raised his voice I couldn't deal with it. I don't remember him yelling a lot. It was more like, he was sharp. All he needed to do was raise his voice and I crumbled.

He did yell at me as I pulled out of the driveway to go home. Bwa-hahahaha! No kidding, he did. I still love him though. Life is a kick, eh.

Joy. Joy of the Lord. Once I read, "Show me how God has transformed your life, and maybe I'll believe in your God." It's getting me through better than ever before. "Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."

Hip-hop tonight

Tonight I'm going to an open level hip-hop class at a dance studio. Ooooooh. Hope it's good. Hope I can do it. I got new dance shoes, new dance pants, ooooooh, and a new top at Discount Dance Supply today. Had to. :)

In the past, I wanted to take hip-hop, but I was always afraid the jerky stop/start style would ruin my smooth belly dance moves. I'm not belly dancing much anymore. By myself I do, to keep my moves, yeah; but it's not like it's a huge amount of fun dancing alone.

Easter

Easter service was good. We went to a Calvary Chapel nearby, my husband's pick. It's very small and the people so friendly. A lady behind me asked a dozen questions about my hair.

I went to Zumba instead of Shabbat on Saturday. Next Saturday I'll go to Shabbat. I like the Messianic Temple very much. Zumba was okay. It was a 9:00am class and I don't like things that early. I was hoping since it was at a dance studio the class would be more dancey, but to me it's aerobics to Latin music. I've tried and tried but I just can't get into aerobics. I had one dance teacher in college who taught aerobics and his class was extremely popular. It was very dancey is why. I want to go to a hip hop class, but I don't have the right shoes.

It's raining a lot today.

My husband misses Bella. He made me send him of photo of her and set it as his desktop.

Leah was the Easter Bunny at the park in NM for the egg hunt. I saw a Facebook picture of her with a child sitting on her lap. The kid was red faced and his little eyes all scrunched up with crying. It is a cute photo. Poor Leah. I know she was a great bunny and that suit had to be stifling. She volunteered for it because no one else did. Bless her heart. One year they had a bunny for the Luminaria for education and I saw the bunny (who shall remain unnamed) smoking a cig (that's slang for cigarette) on break. It was all wrong!

There was a big earthquake Sunday afternoon. As the crow flies it was a couple hundred miles away in Mexico. It was the longest quake I've ever been in. Thirty seconds. It came on small and built up, and went on and on. We all sat in the living room and kitchen area with big eyes and listened while the house rocked and asked each other, "Should we go outside now." Well, if you have to ask then you don't need to. You won't ask when you need to! Afterward our hearts were pumping mildly. I said it was a big one somewhere and sure enough it was. It was 7.2 at the epicenter. The strongest we've been in was a 5.9 - the Whittier Narrows quake, October 1, 1986. Quakes can be a thrill all right, but that one was all scary. Entertainment center, television, pictures, everything in the living room fell over. Water splashed out of the pool in six foot waves. We could hardly get our footing. Son and I made it into the bathroom, the worst room you can be in for a shaker, duh, and I was holding him and praying out loud and that's when I didn't even go to church. Fear will set even an unbeliever to believin', but James says that's no surprise. He said even the devils believe and tremble at His name. James 2:19

My husband said he doesn't want any more quakes while we're here.

San Diego

We're in San Diego. Got here on March 30th. The food is good, weather pretty, company sweet. I have to decide whether to go to Shabbat or Zumba tomorrow morning. Decisions, decisions.

A record

Husband is coming to church with us this morning. Third time in three months. It's a New Mexico record! Yippee!

"Sit tall in the saddle, hold your head up high. Keep your eyes fixed where the trail meets the sky. And live like you ain't afraid to die...don't be scared, just enjoy the ride." - Lyrics of a song by Chris LeDoux

I haven't ridden yet though. I did when I was about ten. My babysitter took us somewhere. We each got one chance to get on the horse. It was a small brown horse. I got on and we ran, or I should say galloped, from one side to the other and back. Fast. It was exhilarating and I've never forgotten the feeling of it. When I got off my pants were all wet from the sweat on the horse's sides. I remember it was sweating and had white foam on its sides which I'd never seen before. We lived in El Centro and the weather there is hot and humid because it's the Imperial Valley and there's a lot of agriculture (irrigation). I think maybe riding and dancing can be like drugs. You always want them. You always want more. Sounds like Jesus too. He gets hold of you. Gets hold of your thoughts, your heart, your desires, your actions, your habits, your words.

Bella was better today. Yesterday she was nervous and jumpy and I didn't feel good about it. I was worried. I hoped she would settle in and she is more settled now. Thank goodness. It was even windy today. Horses don't like wind, but she was calmer even in the wind. We want to put a few pounds on her. Her ribs show a little bit. Being the littlest and youngest horse in the pasture she was at meant she was low girl on the totem pole. Herds always develop a pecking order. She's also a slow eater. The older horses get kind of piggy and will eat fast, but not Bella. Bella has one eating speed. Slow.

We took her into the shelter and groomed her in there. It was nice to be able to get out of the wind. This week-end there's a rodeo and there will be tons of horses driving by because the rodeo grounds are at the end of the block. Should be good for her to see all the horses and hear all the traffic. It's normally a pretty quiet street. The homeowner said she saw people stop and pet her over the fence today and said she seemed to enjoy the attention. I hope so.

I used my new fiberglass shedding tool thingy on her today and it worked well. She's shedding so much! I also used some spray that's supposed to get stains off of her white areas and it helped but didn't get it perfectly white. I may have needed to rub more or something. She likes when I brush her legs. She stands still and relaxes one hind leg like she's Mae West. She's such a poser.

Christina hasn't updated since Monday. She's never gone this long. I think she might be in pain. I don't like it.

My husband made me brownies and they are delicious with a big glass of cold, cold, milk.

In her corral

This video is right when we put her in her new home. She's saying, "What's going on? What is this place? Where am I?" She can stay here till the other horses come back.

I spoke with Ivan yesterday. Our son did some work for him so I got to stop and say hi too. He has his horse at Rush Rancho. Rush Rancho! He told me he goes there every day and brushed his horse just that afternoon. I asked him if he is special friends with them and he said yes. Oh dear. I really just blurted it out, but he's so lucky to be friends with them. He knows everyone. Rush Rancho is where we were driving by one day and saw the horse whisperer. It's laid out in nice, neat squares. Ivan said they're expecting two more horses and will not have any corrals available, but he will talk to them. It doesn't sound promising, but I know God has a good plan for Bella. She can be where she is till the end of summer. James 1:17 says, “Every good thing bestowed and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation, or shifting shadow.”

Look at me. I'm not stressed. Everything will work out and God knows how. I only have to figure it out and go one step at a time. One step at a time is okay. Plenty of people have a horse and don't have their own land. Right? Right. Okay.

Added note: My lower back has been sore for a week for no apparent reason. My sister emails and says I need a support belt. Yeah, like I'm going to wear a big, black belt with my cowgirl boots and jeans. She just wants me to look like a dork is all. I'm not bitin'. She says she's growing out her hair now too.

Moved

We moved Bella for the first time. By ourselves. We transported a horse! She did well too. She was hesitant about getting in the trailer. My husband had to get in and pull her some and coaxed her. He has a nice voice and she responds to him.

How can it be we're blessed to know such nice people. I don't know. Now Bella is only ten minutes from here and we can see her anytime and while we're gone during April they will feed her and care for her and love on her. I expect her to do well there. She has space. It's not a big pasture, but it's a real big paddock if you can call it that. She has room to run. It's clean and she has a small shelter. There are dogs and people and kids that she'll see going to a fro. There's a horse up the street she can "talk" to. The only drawback is that she's not with another horse, but I think it'll be okay since there are animals there and she won't be totally alone. I've read that even being able to see another horse is good for them. The enclosure is right in front of their house. They're so lucky to have a horse right in their front yard. They have an acre so they have land all around their house. They also have a ranch and they moved their two horses to their gigantic pasture there. That's why they have a place for Bella now. The only concern I have now is whether mosquitoes will get bad in the summer and if so, will they bother her. I don't have to worry about that yet though.

We're tired out from so much driving. Driving to get the horse trailer. Driving to get Bella. Hurrying to get son to his Hunter Education class at 6:00pm. He said class tonight was even better than the other nights. They handled guns and went over pretend fences and stuff like that. We had to buy him a sub sandwich for dinner on the way to class because we had so many miles to cover across the county to get Bella moved.

The neighborhood seemed to be in a hubbub because of Bella. People were driving by ever so slow to look at her. She was prancing and shaking her head. I think maybe it was a release of anxiety from the driving? Well, I sure felt proud when they were saying how pretty she was. I was sure proud. We're going to miss her terribly while we're in San Diego during April. That's our only traveling this year. We leave on Monday the 29th.

Mane and Tail shampoo. It's for horses, but women being women they'll try anything on their hair. I was wearing my hair down that day and she said it makes your hair long and thick and she asked if I used it. I've wondered ever since, did she mean my hair looked long and thick or did she mean I ought to use it.

Having trouble getting beyond upper thighs. Seems I'm languishing at this length; a tad past fingertips. I found split ends this week. Horrified. Did my first ever S&D. Search and Destroy. I'm all oiled and braided now.

Son is taking a class. Hunter Education / Gun Safety. It was today from 1pm to 5pm and continues M-Th, 6:00pm to 8:45pm. Hope he completes the course. He actually liked the first class today. Today he learned if you're holding a weapon and you fall down, hold it to your chest. It's the best way to avoid shooting your friends. You hold it flat against your chest, not pointing at your chest, of course. It's his first class without me not counting when he was in a charter school in second grade. I hope he does well on the test on the last day.

My lower back hurts a bit and I have no joy. No joy.

And my son was a bad boy in church. He purposefully tried to start an argument. He sat three seats away from me. He made a face at me (the teenage "I'm not talking to you" look). He acted like I was weird during worship.

So. I did not drive him to youth group Sunday night. He will not be taken to Albuquerque on a planned shopping expedition for car parts (for his hobby car) this week. And I told him never to make a face at me. If you have something to say, say it, but faces don't mean anything and we're not doing that in this family. Can I get my money back? Can I send him back to the womb? Can I skip age 13 to 18? Must I expend the energy and put up with the annoyance of rearing up another person. It's really not fair. You put in nine months. You suffer through labor and birth. And you're punished with 18 long years.

Saturday

We're working in the Visitor's Center tomorrow afternoon. I wonder if it'll be busy. Our loop is full! Spring break is here.

I wanted a mermaid background but one of the mermaids was half naked. Darn it. It woulda been so cute.

Blog backing up

I wait outside the youth center.

A few months ago our son refused to go to the youth center.  Said he got a gander of the kids inside once and it scared him straight.  He cracks me up.  Where did he get that language from?  They're just regular kids with all the angst and excess energy that teenagers have.  He's one of the youngest there so it took him awhile to find a groove.  Now he likes going.  Sometimes he has a bad night and says he's never going back again.  Then he goes back again.  He'll be 13 in May.  God help me.

Went to 4-H meeting tonight and it was good.  The only drawback to the evening is I'm the photographer and I forgot to take my camera.  

I've been wanting to make a copy of my blog on my own hard drive so if anything ever happened I'd have this here five years of writing saved.  I searched and searched and followed the directions for saving the template, but that didn't help.  I saved what looked like a bunch of text and code - not what I wanted.  I want to have all my actual pages with everything clickable just like viewing it on the Internet.

I found http://www.httrack.com/ and downloaded it.  It's free.  And it worked like a dream.  I only copied a small blog to test it out and I have to copy this one still so am not sure if it'll save videos too, but it saved all the photos.   Pleased with my success, I transferred it to CD for safe keeping.  I was a little anxious at the prospect of building recursively all directories, but whatever that means I didn't have to do it.  It was automatic and intuitive.

Christina's family was on tv.  On Sunday the church I go to in San Diego did a bone marrow drive for her, and her husband and children were interviewed.  Ever since I watched it I'm overwhelmed when I think of it.  In the shower my eyes tear up.  Doing dishes my eyes tear up.  Her husband was solid.  He's a big man, has a steady voice, and he had just the right words.  The daughter had practiced her words and it showed.  She's ten and did a super job.  Her son was rattled and tried his very best what with all the lights and eyes on him.  It was hard to watch.  He stuttered and his voice trailed as he tried to find words.  And lastly he said, "I can't remember my mom."  That's when we broke.  He's only six or seven years old.  She's been in the hospital a month and a half and has two months, maybe more, of in-hospital treatment.  My husband cried when he saw the interview.  Christina is suffering so and I'm sure it has her tore up inside.  She hasn't posted since.

Our friend here works with the schools.  I forgot what her title is but she helps youngsters.  She was called in to help.  An intervention it's called.  And an 11 year old girl bit our friend.  Such rage a girl has inside her to kick, and fight, and bite.

I can't think of an ending tonight.

I've got a headache and I'm going to ignore it.  I want to write a post but the thing is I have nothing to write.  I will think of something though.

My hair.  I can always fall back on that subject.  Recently I changed shampoo.  My husband said what's so big about that because I've never used the same shampoo twice in a row.  That's not true of course.  He's used the exact same shampoo for 26 1/2 years and that's only as long as I've known him.  I bet he's been using Flex since they started making it.  That's weird.  Not changing shampoos or soap - that's very weird.

I'm a tad over 46" now and ought to trim the ends.  I thought we were going to see Ivan on Friday and I wore my nicest top, then we didn't go see him.  I'm using superly duperly cheap products from Wal-Mart on my hair and, and, and, my hair's doing fine.  I'm using Dove shampoo and a Suave creme rinse.  I'm even using Head and Shoulders sometimes because I like the smell.  I got some for our son.  Poor kidlet has some flakes.  He has such sensitive skin.  The Suave makes my hair unusually soft.

Our eldest son is feeling bad at heart because during hand-to-hand-combat training he accidentally kicked a guy in the stomach - in the "gut" as he put it - and the guy walked around hunched over the rest of the day.  Being an ex-Marine it would be a feather in one's cap to get the ex-Marine down.  Anyway, he's hoping very much that the guy will be back to training on Monday because if he's not it will mean the guy will have to drop out of the academy.  No one wishes that on anyone after getting through the year long process to be selected to attend.

Our son was in the center and is circled by other men who have a pad in front of them and you don't know from where the next attack will come.  It's to practice having "eyes in the back of your head."  The other guy had his pad too high and that's why the accident.  I hope he'll be okay.  In such physical exercises I suppose someone is sure to be hurt eventually sometime.  Our son has bruises all over his body!

I talked to my dad tonight and it was good.  I sure like talking to him sometimes.

We're looking forward to Vons Supermarket in California.  Haha!  Well, here we don't get the best produce and not a lot of selection.  In contrast, Vons in California is a veritable delight.  Today I made chicken soup out of celery that was barely green.  What?  Do they say let's drop off the worst produce in New Mexico?

Wahooo

Tomorrow we'll be on Daylight Saving Time!  Here comes summertime, summertime, sum, sum, summertime!

Aw, spring isn't even here yet so summertime is a ways away.  But tomorrow night at 7:30pm it'll still be light outside!

There's no "s" on the end of Saving so don't put one on there.  "Be vewy, vewy careful," says Bugs Bunny.

The reason why is because of what we're saving.  What are we saving?  Daylight.  Daylight is singular, so "saving" must be singular.  And besides, a big savings is what you get at the mall or online.  I frequently cause savings for my husband when I order stuff all the time.  I tell him, "And honey, I saved us money."  Like when I bought cosmetics over the counter eons ago, as we fondly refer to it, in the before time.  "Look!  They gave me this cute little lipstick holder with a mirror! For free!"