4-H

Oh dear.  The mom who was supposed to hand out flyers and take care of publicity for our big 4-H breakfast fundraiser didn't do anything.  She forgot.  This is a bad thing.  We got there this morning at 6:30am and Leah and Kelly were already there.  The kids worked and we moms worked (I worked the least) and earned $20.00 more than was spent on all the breakfast food and plates and cups and stuff.

Eldest son phoned and it was pure joy to talk to him.  His job is going well.  The wife and babies and mom-in-law are doing well.  And I blurted out that I have an apology to give him.  I told him about when he was 12 and he was hungry for lunch and I didn't feel like making him a sandwich, but my husband told me to make one for him.  I did and I did it with a mean, hateful heart, and tossed the peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the table in front of him.  I may have made him cry.  I used to be so bad about preparing food because I never wanted to do it.  Over the years I've improved, thanks be to God who caused me to see myself as I am and also thanks to the example my husband has been.  My husband has always made food with love.  I've tried hard to be more like him in this way.  So tonight I said I was sorry about it and eldest son said, "I'm not scarred, Mom.  I don't even remember it."  He's such a guy! And then he said he's noticed that as people get older and they have time to reflect on the past (and he kindly said, he's not saying that I'm old, haha!) he said they tend to remember the bad memories.  I asked if he got that from his psychology classes and he said, nope, it's just him talking.  It is true.  It's true for me.  I wonder if it's true for others.

Tonight I'm thinking of what Jesus said, “The mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart” (Matt. 12:34).  Confession is no use without repentance.  I don't know if I can take too much of seeing myself as I really am though.

Next week I'm signing up at the gym for yoga and some kind of cardio class.  I have to or else the girly girls at Zumba will hurt me bad!  My two month prep plan was to work-out on my own one month and then join the gym one month before my Zumba class.  I read one student said she thought she was going to leave her bladder on the floor during the certification class.  Hahaha!  Last year when I went to the belly dancing week-end workshop I was working out at the gym and during a killer samba routine I was one of the few students keeping up.  So.  I think I should follow the same plan since it worked once already.  I do jogging every other day.  It's 1.5 mile fast walking (I get lost in my thoughts and slow down way too often), one mile jog, .5 mile walk.  It's brutal every time.  I don't like it one bit, but afterward I feel good.  Accomplished.  

We're back in the 90s and it's beautiful here.