Saturday, December 23, 2006


Jack passed on last night. We'll miss him. From what Reta said when I visited her this morning, it was without pain. It was faster than anyone would have thought. When the medics said his pulse was gone she cried, "But he needs one."

I asked Reta if she sensed yesterday before it happened that it was going to happen last night, and she said no. He did not have time to be afraid and of that I'm glad. Jack didn't want to die in a hospital and that's why they're here. He had DNR 'Do Not Resuscitate' orders. I wanna go the same way - home, by the lake, with the desert, away from the hospital. They're Seventh Day Adventists.

It happened right after the Christmas potluck. Only ten minutes later we drove to Patches' house and saw the ambulance in front of Reta and Jack's motorhome. A park ranger was there. A few other cars too. I didn't stop because I didn't want to be in the way and I despise looky-loos. We prayed. When my husband was lying in the street after a car accident there were looky-loos crushing in a circle to see some blood and I wanted to thrash them all.

Reta looks real pretty today and she's all put together. I saw her this morning at 7:00am standing outside in her long red robe, staring into the air. We waved to her. As I write this now, I realize she must have been outside to see the sunrise; the first sunrise without her Jack. She got three hours rest last night and I think she expects a busy day. Reta's not a crier or a whiner. I want to be like her. She tells me I better learn to drive the truck and pull the trailer. She can drive their huge motorhome with a tow vehicle behind. She was out of Kleenex so my husband went to the store and bought her two boxes.