Wednesday, January 09, 2008

I avoided the abyss

Yesterday I almost fell into the abyss. It's this perimenopause I think. It's not a good thing. So before I completely alienated my husband, I prayed last night. I prayed pretty hard. Sometimes the prayin's easy, sometimes hard, right? I asked Him to take this sin offa me, which He can't exactly do, but I can repent and I repented pretty hard.

I wish I would be a good person all the time, but I get all pent up and angry once in awhile. Worse thing is, I've got it so good and it's nothing more than me gettin' all twisted and tangled up in myself. It's my own fault. And when I'm hateful to my family I feel ten times worse and ten times ugly.

It's lucky to have a family who loves you; faults, and meanness, and temper and all.

I'm sorry J. (Who will never read this, but I will.)

At least I cooked a pretty good meal tonight, and the gravy was better than last night. I make tasty, delicious gravy now that I'm 48.