Youth

Youth. It's very hard being young, isn't it. Sometimes, yes. I found a beautiful mimed drama online. I'll put it here. It's so good. Very well done.

A few days ago a young girl, 18 almost 19, phoned me. I don't like phone talking but I talked with her at length. I haven't seen her since and I don't know if what I said helped or not. She told me she was thinking of suicide. She asked me if I thought depression was a disorder. I didn't know if I should share that I was a jumper. If I tell one person, I'm sure it would spread. People can't help talking amongst themselves; a best friend tells a best friend tells, and on and on. As Ben Franklin said, three people can keep a secret if two of them are dead. Do I need to tell that I too, was in that place? Is it relevant? I have a young son and I don't want to shame my family, but even more I worry that if I say I did it and didn't die, maybe others would try it too. Suicide has an awful way of spreading among a group of young people when one person does it. I didn't tell her my personal experience. I only shared what I thought she needed to hear. She often comes up to me and hugs me. She will make conversation with me even when I fear I have that pained expression on my face and I do stutter. I don't quite understand why she talks to me. But when I see her I will hug her very big. I am ready to talk to her again. I don't know why this is happening but maybe God's telling me to be the woman I ought to be. That I need to be. I fight that a lot. I cocoon. Instead I need to see myself as a grown woman with something to give. I do have years. I do have experience. I am so diminutive though. Maybe I will pray for some boldness. Yeah. That's a good thought.

I really enjoyed Jules' post today.