Saturday, July 12, 2008

Writing what I want

As my relationship with Christ deepens it is like flying in a dream. Do you know that feeling? It's the best feeling. My heart verily swoons. It is much better than my opposite dream which is spinning down stage and falling off into the audience. I have worried that if I write what I'm thinking about I will have no interested readers left.

But I don't care if I have any readers. Yes I do. No I don't. Yes I do. No I don't. Yes I do.

So I've decided that if I have even only two readers that is okay because they will be the two best readers I could have.

Whoever they are.


I told myself when I started this blog that I'd let it veer into whatever direction my life went. See, that was an ongoing problem with all my past journals and web sites. As my interest waned, my single topic site would die a slow, inevitable death, sitting out in cyberspace unloved or until I took the time to go out and delete it one day. Some of those it's a good thing they're deleted and you'll never know what they were about. Popularity does not equate to quality. But this is not a single topic blog. I am multi-faceted! (I like to imagine I am anyways.)

I have gone through a chapter of my life consumed by the exciting decision to grow my hair! Then on to Middle Eastern dance and my thoughts, experiences, and tribulations therein. (Long hair was good for belly dancing!) Then the prospect of traveling and the experience of selling our three bedroom suburban life (I wore my hair in a bun a lot) and liquidating the material gains highly sought after and lovingly acquired over the course of 20 years. Pop! All gone. Well, some is still in storage. Following that exhausting endeavor I journaled mostly about our travels: Year 1 to Alaska; Year 2 across Canada and north to the boreal forest; Year 3 to Nova Scotia. I wrote about family life, and during those years developed an avid interest in photography. (Long hair travels well and is fun to photograph.) Now our traveling has slowed. I still don't want to buy a house. I don't think we can live in a house anymore. Can we? I don't know. Never say never, huh? I love waking up in a state park every morning! In my latest chapter I have grown spiritually and increased my faith tenfold, twentyfold, a hundredfold and that is what I think about most these days.

What I think today is that Jehovah (in the Bible that would be spelled LORD in all capitals because Lord with a capital 'L' and lowercase /ord/ refers to His Son, Jesus) was pretty rough on Moses for smoting the rock twice.

I'm reading through the Bible from beginning to end. I'm on the slow student track but ya know, as a homeschooler I can go whatever speed suits me because I don't need knowledge that's 3000 miles wide and three inches deep. I want breadth, and I want depth too. That's a-gonna take a long time attain. Ergo, slow track, and that's okay.

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