Saturday, February 09, 2008


How was your day? Mine was not too bad. We did homeschooling for a half day and then I washed my hair and got cleaned up for belly dance class. This month I have two belly dance classes every Friday. Tentatively, I'm planning to go dance at El Paso with my teacher on March 1st! I have half the choreography learned and if I can learn the rest and get a costume together too, I'm gonna do it. The odd thing is I actually have a bit of confidence performing the first half. Could I possibly have some measure of that same confidence to learn the rest? I have to get rid of that monkey in my mind who chatters away at breakneck speed telling me all the time that I'm no good. I need to believe in myself. I've spent so many years doubting that it's hard to get over that hump. I have a feeling everything is really pretty and green with lots of flowers on the other side.

On Thursday night I didn't journal because I came home sore and tired. I was the only one who showed up for ballet so my teacher worked me at my level, er, a little higher I'd say! I ate dinner (my husband made me a plate) then I went straight to bed. I was beat.

Tonight my Middle Eastern dance teacher said I have a nice voice. That was sweet of her. And she had me go up in front of the class and teach chest isolations for about three minutes all by myself. It was a little scary I tell ya. I went real slow and explained it as four points; go right, back, left, front. I did it slowly a few times then said connect the dots and smooth it out. Some ladies were looking pretty challenged like they were trying real hard and not getting it. It scared me. lol! I think I should have said not to worry if you don't get it tonight. Keep trying and as with all good things, it takes time to get it right. Wish I had said it, but I only just now thought of it. Well, it was a long three minutes. It's a good class though. You can feel a good group and I felt it was a great group of ladies. They were very enthusiastic and a laughing group. Laughter is good when you're trying hard.

Oh my gosh. I've got to get my costume ready. I gotta go to bed from thinking about this. I need to adjust my fringe on the bra. I need to adjust the bra. I need to alter the hip belt smaller! I gotta figure out some sleeves to attach to the bra straps because people don't want to see 48 year old upper arms. I need a head band. I need a necklace and earrings. And oh yeah, a SKIRT and veil to match. Duh. I've had my bedlah sitting in a box for three years awaiting this very moment.

I did pray. In case you're a person who asked for prayer for your mom this day, I didn't type it out loud, but I prayed it.