39 3/8"

I have to squeeze my eyes shut and think real hard to make my hair grow one more eighth of an inch by the 1st. I don't think I'm gonna make it. I'm wearing it in a sock bun tomorrow.

I painted my toenails pink tonight but they don't feel right. Toenails are supposed to be red. That's what my mom said. Now pink just doesn't feel right.

Our son made me proud today.

A new computer!

We're getting a new Dell desktop! My husband ordered it and I didn't even know. I was jumping for joy in the trailer and we were rocking like a ship on the high seas! Not really, but I wanted to use a simile from grammar today. But I was jumping up and down!

The homeschooling seems to be taking more out of me this year. I don't mind, but I am tired at night and busier during the daytime.

Tonight I was consumed by a nine page article about the Little Rock Nine. There's an article at Vanity Fair called "Through a Lens, Darkly" and I read all of it. There's a photo slideshow at the end. The article contains far more details about it than I've ever read before.

How about that Harvest Moon tonight!?

This morning is the first day in three weeks I woke up and my body was not sore anywhere. Yay! I'm getting this old bod in shape. I have a bit of extra weight about the middle. Hmmm. Popcorn at night is probably not helping. Tonight we ate popcorn and watched Treasure Island by Walt Disney. We are enamoured of the old movies. I think they teach excellent lessons about people. Last night we watched 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Poor Captain Nemo. He was a brainiac, but consumed by hatred. (A comma belongs after a conjunction such as and, or, but. I was never sure about it, but as of last week I am sure. I learned it our fifth grade grammer lesson.) They just don't make movies like they used to.

Son drank milk with his lunch today. I have always liked milk. No, I love milk. There's nothing better than to gulp down ice cold milk with your dinner, or with a brownie, or a Hostess cupcake. When I was a child we only got one Dixie cup full of milk and no more. My sister and I would fight over which cup was filled the highest and who got the pink paper cup. My mom had to fill them with scientific precision or all manners of trouble broke out. At Dad's house we could have as much milk as we wanted. What luxury. When I was six I used to think if I took a drink, then ignored my milk, a fairy might come and refill my cup. I would imagine it was fuller than it was before! Yeah, I can psyche myself out. Well, my son is not crazy about milk. What is up with that? I think he has plenty so it's not special. Usually I tell him he's gotta have some milk with lunch and he complains and frets about drinking it - which is misery. So I quit telling him and instead today I asked him if he wanted some. He said yes. Kids. Well, kid. He makes me crazy.

My new dancewear is not scheduled for delivery till Friday. I need it tomorrow. Boo.

At the bellydance class Tuesday night I had a good time. It was not so much a class as it was a group of women practicing for the upcoming Renaissance Faire. Their choreography was great fun. It was not difficult so I caught on to all except one troublesome count of eight. I was always off for some reason. I had an extra step in it somewhere. A lady was real nice and complimented my hair. I wore it down and pulled it up into a pony. I've realized that people remember me if my hair's down. If it's up, no one remembers me. How do I know? Well. Let me say this about that. I wear my hair up to church. I attended last year from September through March and this year again since end of August. Last Sunday I wore it down. I sit in the same area every week. Same me, same area. One of the musicians came up to me and shook my hand and said he's never seen me before. WHAT! Why I oughta! I should be insulted. But oh well. Such is life. I'm very plain. I already know this. I'm calm.

Today

I stayed up too late last night and now I have a little headache today. Boo.

We're driving to Cruces this evening and I'm going to try out another middle eastern dance class with a different teacher. This one only requires a donation, sounds like a lot more students are involved, and sword, cane, veil, and fan dancing are taught as well. I would like to specialize in sword dancing someday. Oh. They have normal mirrors on the wall too.

New. Pink. Gloves.

I have new Playtex dishwashing gloves and they're bright pink! I like them a lot. They're much prettier than yellow which is the color Playtex gloves usually are. They used to be dark blue. But then again, I think the dark blue might be the heavy duty style. Pink is good. I like purple, but I wouldn't want purple because those remind me of the hospital and I don't want to think about the hospital when I'm doing dishes. Pink makes me almost happy to do dishes!

I bought a new top today. It's by L.E.I. and it's one of those kind that looks like you're wearing a long sleeved tee shirt underneath the short sleeved tee shirt, but really it's only one shirt. It's a two in one. Can't believe I found something semi-cute right here in town.

Thought it was Jesus, but it was my cell phone

I awoke in the middle of the night! There was a bright white light in my bedroom emanating from corner of the little bookcase! I peered in its direction. I propped myself up on my elbow and watched it, all bleary eyed. It was flashing too. I heard it make a pretty sound, twice. I felt happy. I thought it was Jesus, comin' to get me! Maybe he just decided to use an electronic musical sound instead of a trumpet. Then I dropped down to my pillow and conked out again.

I've been thinking about Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, the abomination of desolation, the rapture, and the tribulation. I've been reading Matthew 24.

In the morning I woke up and thought about that dream and realized we're still here, and remembered - I put that stinkin' cell phone my husband bought for me over there in the corner on top of the books. It must have burped in the night or something. Or maybe I got a wrong number. WHAT a disappointment!

But it gives us more time and that's good. You can doubt and do without or you can believe and receive. Sometimes I'm so receiving I'm about to burst. It's so weird how if you ask the Lord to reveal Himself to you, He will. My husband says, "Liliana. It's weird? Is that the best you can do?" And I said, hmmm, well I guess I should better say it's prophetic. Right?" And he said, "right."

The Beauty of Homeschooling

I've been tired every night, but the week is over now and it was a groundbreaking week.

Determined to do all subjects weekly, and for me that means being sure to include history and science, I set forth to deliver fifth grade to our son. I found last year that I could not do all the subjects and still get reading, writing, and arithmetic done to my satisfaction so I was very spotty with the history and did basically, what amounts to no science. I decided that the early years up to grade four would focus on the Three R's because with a solid foundation in the Three R's a kid can fly where ever he wants when he's ready. Thing is, in writing I was failing him. I tried and tried teaching him writing, yet he would not write. He would write one or two sentences under penalty of death, but that made home life unbearable and the sentences were not very good anyway. Still, I continued to teach grammar, vocabulary, printing, cursive, and spelling every day, little by little. He did very well in grammar and vocabulary, quite well in spelling, okay in printing, and awful in cursive. But could I get him to put it all together, as in write something? No.

Beginning this school year (what, one week ago?) I decided to put on a new hat and be positive and forge ahead. I instituted a major change. I shortened language arts lessons and I used a timer. I set it to 20 minutes each for spelling, grammar, and vocabulary. Lo and behold, he finished every assignment within the time limit - quality work, correct and legible, and with a good attitude. He even finished his reading assignments in the allotted time limit. That was icing on the cake. On Monday I was bowled over. On Tuesday I was pleased. On Wednesday I was expecting his old ways to return. On Thursday he wrote a complete story summary. My heart was singing! On Friday, another good day. He successfully finished all of his assignments for the week.

There's been a change in him. My husband and I think he's suddenly matured. But we really don't know what to attribute the change to. Today my husband said he's so glad we homeschool because otherwise we'd never be aware of this inward change. My husband teaches the math so he's seeing it too.

When our son was a tot I once saw a third grade homeschooled boy writing a lengthy paper at the laundromat. It made a lasting impression on me and I thought, wow, so that's how it's going to be! Ha! When it didn't happen in third grade or even fourth grade I wondered...was I not a good enough teacher? Am I not inspiring! Can I ever motivate him. Will my child ever write like that? In my frustration I reminded him of the Chinese proverb, Teachers open the door, you enter by yourself. My answer arrived on Thursday when the story summary he wrote was 3/4 of a page long, complete sentences, correct punctuation, all important events included, in proper sequence, and it was, WHAT!, even legible.

I hope it all continues. All the unsureness is wiped away. Little leaves in the wind.

Well, enough of life's epiphanies.  Good night!

2nd day of fifth grade

Amazingly. A second wonderful day. I have my lesson plans finished for tomorrow too. Whew. Purty good.

Hair compliment! The lady next door said her husband saw my hair down the other day and he was surprised by its length. Sunday she saw me walking back from the showers and said, "Oh, your hair is usually up and I didn't realize, it is long!" And she said, "That's neat!" She asked me how long it's been growing and when I got it cut last. I thought it was very sweet of her.

Belly dance class went well. I think I'll go back but I'm not 100% sure. I'm a little uneasy with driving an hour distance by myself. Husband bought me a cell phone today so I can have my own to call him in case of an emergency. I asked a friend if she wants to go with me next week and she gave me a tentative yes. I miss my first teacher, Aziza, very much. No one I've met is as good of a teacher as she. I fear I will never find such a fine teacher again. The gal who teaches in Cruces, she dances well but it's more like learning dance moves from a friend. Technically, she leaves a lot out. It was wonderful to hear the music and shimmy and shake and be completely feminine.

To clarify the difference in style Aziza used to say, "The Lebanese dancer dances like she really doesn't know what she's got. She so innocent and completely unaware of her effect (on man). In contrast, the Egyptian dancer dances like she knows what she's got. But the Turkish dancer dances like she knows what she's got, and she knows how to use it! Haha! My preference is for Lebanese and Turkish and of course above all, American Tribal Style. Egyptian is just okay to me. I don't like the costuming as much. It's too slick.

The class was small and the studio is brand new. They had mirror tiles! Can you imagine dancing with mirrored tiles on the wall. Hmmm, do I want to look at my right shoulder or my left hip, and in the mirror nothing is aligned. My hips are over here, my head is over there, all distorted. I hope they put in some decent mirrors. She did show us some nice floor moves. I haven't got much floor to practice floor moves on but I'll give it a go. She reminded me that almost everything can be done on your knees just like when you're standing up, so I'm going to add that to my practicing at home. It gives you such strong thighs! Just get on your knees lean backwards slightly, and shimmy and/or do snake arms. You'll see. You get tired fast and it hurts good.

Rode my bike three miles. That was my exercise for the day because my lower back was slightly sore from last night.

Came down with a big headache at 12:30am last night. I didn't get up and take Tylenol PM because I was afraid it'd make me feel sluggish in the morning for school so I hoped it would go away by itself. Sorry I was too, because come morning my temples were raging. My husband, this man whom I do not deserve, drove to the store for Tylenol (daytime kind) for me and then he had to rush for his volunteer job at the Visitor's Center. I made him a PB&J real quick. I didn't think Tylenol would work. I always laughed in the face of Tylenol. But guess what. It worked. It was slow but two hours later I was fine. I was happy because I was able to teach and not be a dullard for my son. I would be such a mess without my husband.

Tomorrow I'm going to ask my husband if I can get some new dance gear.

First day of fifth grade

I did it! We got everthing done by 3:00pm: spelling, grammar, vocabulary (20 minutes each), literature (1 hour), history (1 hour), typing practice and multiplication drill (15 minutes altogether). Husband did math with him. Man, I was so organized. Now, can I do it again? That's the question. I have only 179 more days to go.

No time to write much. I found a Middle Eastern class. Only thing is, I live in Podunk and the class is an hour drive from here. I hope it'll be worth it. Gotta go. Takes me an hour to get ready. My husband is driving me so if I continue to go I can drive myself next time. :)

Last cinnamon roll

I'm eating my last one. They don't carry any cinnamon rolls in town.

Yesterday we drove to the chile capital of the world. That's Hatch, New Mexico. We bought 20 pounds of green chiles and watched them get roasted in a big roaster that looked like a bingo ball roller. Came home and peeled them for two hours, ran outta time, so froze the rest. The freezer is packed full!

Our neighbor just came by and gave me a kitchen towel that she knitted the edges very prettily and it goes on the oven and buttons so it stays. Very cute. She apologized for coming by while I'm in my pajamas but I told her not to worry - I wear my pajamas till late (or till afternoon but I tried not to say that!). She got a job in town because she likes to stay busy.

I hafta to get ready for churcharoo now. Somehow, I can start getting ready on time, but still be late.

Friday sweet Friday

I signed up for a ballet class last night. I start next week. They meet once a week. She may add a tap class and then I can go twice a week. After class the instructor and I chatted for an hour. Go me! It's good to talk and interact with people, right. I'm trying hard to get plugged in and connected this year. The only thing still hanging over my head is going to the animal refuge. Once I go there I will officially be a good person.

Finished up the s*x education today. When I started with it, I was heartsick but now that we're finished I'm happy. It went well I think. We wrapped it up with scripture, Romans 12:1.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers in view of God's mercy, to offer you bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship.

Talked about protecting our minds and that all that we have to give back to the Lord is ourselves. Zat's it, so we oughta do our best to make good with what we've got. Talked about twins and AIDS and p*rn*graphy and abstinence and that s*x is God's gift to married people. We covered a lot because fifth grade begins on Monday and I realized my plate is pretty full there. I guess I did a good job. He says he never wants to have sex. Bwa-hahahahha! Yeah, check back with me on that one in five years!

I used the Quizzes for S*x Education I and II tests from this site. I may use the ones on other health topics sometime too.

5th grade coming down the pike

I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off. No, actually I am accomplishing something. We have a couple more s*x ed discussions and I'll be done with that. The first day we did male and female reproductive organs and body parts and the second day we went over puberty and physical changes and next we went over m*nstr*ation. He'll know more than anyone one else on the playground now, boy howdy I tell ya! Of course we looked up the verse about being fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Next I'm doing pregnancy; and lastly p*rn*graphy and critical thinking regarding Hollywood, the media; and the seismic cultural changes occurring in the U.S. I did realize as I was talking, how much my school left out about sexuality. I mean, I'm explaining all I should, but I don't want to explain too much, and as I speak I realize...this was never taught to me. I would tell you what I'm meaning exactly but I'd have to change my PG rating to R, so I leave it to your imagination. I told him to write down one question and fold up the paper and give it to me and his question was...how do twins come together.

Our fifth grade curriculum is online on Saturday so I'll have a couple days to review and prepare. I'm a little worried because at my K12 discussion group I read a thread on the topic of grammar. It started out, "Okay, 5th grade grammar is getting harder!!!!!!" (There were that many exclamation points.) Then, it said a bunch of stuff about complements and direct objects and linking verbs, none of which I understood, and it ended with "Help me!" Yeah, I'm scared! Haha!

It was fun opening the five boxes with all our new curriculum. My son was happiest about vocabulary and history. Does my heart good to hear him say, "Oh boy! History!" I have been feeling badly about not finishing fourth grade history and doing even less in science. Today, I was cheered up though because after I picked him up from his science lab class at the private school he said, "You know, I like it there a lot but I learn more in homeschool." Wow. And he wasn't even trying to give me a compliment.

After I picked him up from science lab class, I dropped by Kim's house and picked up a homeschooler's ID card for this county, so we're official.

My hair is doing nicely and I've been hit by consecutive days of prettiness. I don't know why but it is good.

Books

After dinner in the evenings before everyone disperses for evening activities, I've been reading a chapter from Susan Wise Bauer's The Story of the World. Everyone has enjoyed it. I do have an ulterior motive. It goes over some of the studies we've done so it'll reinforce those events.

I happened to go to the library yesterday. Oh yeah, oh yeah. I got some anatomy books and childbirth and s*xual abstinence books. I planned to do s*x education this year and go into depth, but the timetable has changed and the time is now.

It will be interesting to see how this goes. My husband cracks me up. He says I did such a good job with our eldest son that he'll just let me take care of this one too. "Um, do whatever you did before," he told me. Haha! Thinks he's getting out of it this time? No way! I have to school him a little though. We haven't even gone over the specific ins and outs. I mean we have, but descriptions change based on a child's age, right?

My husband says at the dinner table, "Whatever you do, be sure you use protection." Son says, "Whuh?" and my husband stammered and couldn't say another word. He looks at me with the word "Help" in one eye and "Me" in the other. I did not help him! You ought to have a game plan before you come out with that one. Husband, has no game plan. I do and it's based on biblical principles. 

I wish

Most of all, I wish to be a godly mother. But exactly how? Exactly how.  I'm a good mother, but to be godly is more.

The world knocked on my door today, and entered my home full force via the computer screen. It was invited in inadvertently, innocently.  The enemy was ready, but I was not. I was asleep. Literally and figuratively.

I reject the world and I will not be quiet.  I will not be still.

Proverbs 1:8, "Listen, my child, to what your father teaches you. Don't neglect your mother's teaching. What you learn from them will crown you with grace and clothe you with honor."

I must live up to it.  I cannot fail.

Peacock earrings

Finishing touches finally finished! I inserted size 15 beading needles through the neck of each earring to reinforce them. In low light they're dark yet they glimmer and shimmer when you move! The Swarovski crystals are jet AB2X. The double aurora borealis application turns the jet black into a peacock blue and the facets individually reflect a gold color as well. I was so lucky to find them. The pattern called for clear crystals but I didn't think clear would provide any wow factor. The beads for the body are galvanized dark green and I used purple iris for the wings. The wing pattern shows depending on how the light hits them.

The posts are 24kt gold plate. It's vermeil - which is gold plate over sterling silver applied electrochemically. Gold filled is better quality but for gold plate these weren't cheap. I think gold plate should weather well since they're not rubbing against skin. Hope so anyway. Gold filled, also known as gold rolled (which makes more sense), is more durable. Gold plate is a very thin coating of gold although 24K is a teensy bit heavier than 10 or 12K. Gold filled is not really gold filled, but gold over the outside of some other metal.

Honestly, they are prettier in real life! They individual beads in the body absolutely glitter in the light.

Another day

I just went to FTTS (Face to the Sunshine) and I like to sit here and smile to myself about the things she writes about sometimes.

Today was, meh, just okay. I was disappointed with my son's grade on his history test. Talk to him and he's bright and articulate and a trip to listen to as he relates the events spanning from the American Revolution to the French Revolution, but can I get him to write it down in a cogent paragraph? Please, I'm dyin' here.

Wayne from high school dropped me a line tonight. Get outta town! I'm for reals. Wayne was so cute in junior high and high school. Girls were crazy about him. I think he liked the girls fairly well too. Mwahahaha! I bet he was trouble with a capital T for his parents. In junior high he broke his leg. I think on a minibike or something. And on the first day of school in like seventh grade he wore a brand new, huge, heavy knit pullover sweater. The morning was cool so it was fine but by afternoon temp must have been in the 90s . He was miserable. Why did he wear a big knit sweater? Whattya think he did? He took his sweater off right there in class and there he was in Levis and bare chested. It was math class if memory serves. And he was really cute and all the girls liked him. Like I said, trouble with a capital T!

Once in high school he was talking to me and looking me up and down. There wasn't much to look at but I sure didn't mind him lookin'. He had his arms both up hanging on a tree branch and he was wearing clodhopper shoes. I was looking mostly at his shoes because I remember them so well. Can't remember word one of what he said. Haha! I see him with blue sky behind him just like yesterday. Blue eyes too. High school. Sigh.

My mom wrote me today. A big ol' honkin' email. You have no idea how much she can write. I wanted to poke both my eyes out. Promise to myself, I'm working through this angst and completing it by age 50. I have two years to go. Must get it done. Out of the million words we've exchanged in the past three days she did say one thing that I liked. She said:

You, Liliana, are like an onion, in many layers. Or, to quote Winston Churchill re: Russia, you are "a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma." You are very complex.

That can't be all bad, right? My husband's daughter said I'm an enigma too. I better get my dictionary out since two people have said it now.

Finally, but finally finished my seed bead peacock earrings. I changed the plain ear wire to these vermeil earring posts and now the earrings really rock. I like the look of ear wires but on me I prefer some coverage for my piercing. Because I've worn such heavy earrings my earring holes are stretched a little. Not ideal. I need some plastic surgery. I need some kind of earring hole lift. I need a few other things lifted too. I'll get it all done at the same time. I have to try to photograph them now. I tried when I first finished them and it was hard to get the shine to show and at the same time get no blur what with the beads being so tiny. It's a challenge to get a photo that depicts them as they really appear.

Today

Is tomorrow on its way already? Oh dear.

I have a heat headache

We worked today from 2pm to 6pm and I wore a hat and got to stand in the shade of a tree quite a bit but I still got a headache afterwards. It always comes after I come in from the sun. I guess I've turned into a sun wimp. I almost got one yesterday (we worked 9-12) but I didn't, so I thought today I would fare well also. Didn't. My feets hurt and I'm sticky and I took Excedrin at 6:00pm and I just took a Tylenol PM now. Tylenol PM makes me sleep and I would like to sleep to escape this headache.

Husband bought us Taco Bell after work. I discovered that I like their tostadas.

I had fun directing traffic today. If they had a receipt already, I'd say "Nine two (September 2) - Go on through! Stay to your right! Thaaaank-YOU." And people smiled. And if they had a yearly pass I'd turn my arm in a big clock circle and direct them to the right lane. I had a couple people try to rip me off. Yeah, baby. I ran after one of 'em, told him he has to get in the lane I was directing him to, and buy a day pass. Shoot, he was trying to drive through the entrance and not pay! Can you believe it? He pretended he didn't know what I was talking about but we both knew what he was trying to do. And was he trying to kill me? After running to catch him I got a little light headed walking back to do my traffic directing. I hoped I wouldn't have to run after anyone else. I got him though and I felt good about that. The first time it happened a guy did get clean through and I was hoppin' mad. Told my husband I need a pen and paper to take down the license number of the next driver who tries to rip me off. I can pass the info on to a ranger who will charge them the fee plus a fine if they find him. Sure enough, a guy in a silver car ignored me. He got to the entrance, tried to drive straight through, and was real nasty to the cashier.

Well check this out, it was not his day. All he had to do was pay five bucks, but while he was being hateful, he noticed a sheriff's car sitting just inside the entrance. Silver car driver was suddenly strangely afraid to drive on through and cashier had time to call the rangers. It's howdy-doody time now. Turns out the driver had no license, was driving a stolen car, and had a runaway girl in the car with him. It was a sorry sight seeing them sitting on the curb for 45 minutes. I felt like crying for a bit, said a prayer for them. She had only a bikini bottom on and a shirt and had a real cute figure. Turned out the car was stolen from her own mama and she stole a hundred dollars from home too. Guys were all covered with tats and wearing the big baggy clothes. Souls lost in a lost world. It's an ugly thing - a spider's web. I hope so much it'll change for them.

I had only one lady get nasty with me and it was yesterday. I asked to see her receipt and she was mean. She looked to be about my age too. What's the point of being nasty when all you have to do is show your receipt? I didn't let her git me down though. I said thank-you and waved her through. Guess she was in a hurry to have fun.

Hey, my headache feels a little better.

Tomorrow approaches

Tomorrow I work from 9:00am to noon directing traffic. I hope I don't pass out from the heat!