Friday, November 16, 2007

I'm not so bad

I got happy at belly dance tonight. As you may recall, I felt rather ill about that dern sword falling off my head 80 times last Saturday night. And after that it affected my dancing altogether. Afterwards, at home by myself it was eating little small bites of confidence out of me.

But at class tonight three girls came up to me (grown women, but I say girls for my blog) and gave me compliments on my dancing of Saturday night! One said she couldn't decide whether to watch me or my teacher and so her eyes went back and forth. She said she and her friends talked about it for two days. She said that the costumes made our dance moves even prettier to watch. The best compliment though came from a girl from India. A real Indian girl who is a dancer. She dances folk dances of India and I hear she's very good though I haven't seen her choreography yet. But the thing is, she said my movements were so very feminine and flowing that she was thinking she would like me to dance with her in her Indian style. Boy howdy, I told her I would love to learn her style if she wanted to teach me! She said she's not a good teacher and cannot break down the moves like our Middle Eastern dance teacher does, and I said, "Well, how do you know if you haven't tried teaching it before?" I should have told her I can pick up moves pretty well too. I hope something may come of it. She's young and nice, dainty and petite. She recently finished university here and is now on a work visa. Her husband is still in India until next year and she misses him terribly. He's in the military there. She liked the skirt I was wearing tonight and said it reminds her of her saris at home. She says during the wedding season everyone loves to dress up in India. It reminded me sooo much of Leia because she once wrote about the exact same thing to me in an email! They call it "The Wedding Season." Interesting! We don't dress up much here she said, and I have to agree.

And I thought my teacher almost might cry when she was apologizing about the sword. Evidently the sword was her friend's and she thought it was better than hers is. But even though my teacher's sword is nothing expensive or amazing, I knew how to feel it on my head. Never do a performance with a sword you've never used before. Yeah, I'm an Einstein now! Plus, my teacher expressed to another student that I've been dancing for years and I interrupted and told her, no, I have but eight months of Middle Eastern dance. She was surprised and said she couldn't believe it. Well, I suppose it's actually a left handed compliment to me. So when I left class she asked me if I forgive her and I said of course. I have no hard feelings toward her, only toward myself. Ha! I did tell her no improv for me for awhile. She looked disappointed, but my confidence is a little tattered and I need some time. It all builds character, right? Yes, it does actually.

Anyway, it served to erase, eradicate, delete, deter my bad feelings. I mean, don't you hate those sick, sinking feelings? It's awful. Well, it's really gone now and I'm not just saying that for lip service. Also I learned a good lesson - that as bad as I feel, if I keep moving I am probably not as bad as I think. I thought I stunk completely, but if I break it down I think I did okay when I didn't have that evil sword on my head.

I've been writing about this a lot, I know, but it was a small drama for me. The inward drama being ten times worse than the real thing, huh.

Next performance I'm going to ask my girlfriends to pray for me that I don't flub up. That will give me a special, heavenly boost.

Tomorrow is a brand new day. Isn't that something! Yeah man. A brand new day.