Monday, May 20, 2013

I'm reading online articles.  I read that forgiveness is granted; trust is earned.  And that if you lose love, you lose everything.  Or maybe it said if you have not love you have nothing.  Something like that anyway.

Pastor and his wife left town permanently today.  Went back to Oklahoma where they were born and raised.  They came here a little over 30 years ago.  Built a church from the ground up and it ends like this.  I am left to wade through whatever this is going through my mind.  He didn't do it to me personally.  I know that.  It feels like he did though.

I think of the times I went up for alter call.  What a farce it must have been and God saw it all.  I'm really grossed out.  I don't want to go up for an alter call anywhere ever again.

And the DNA test came back.  The child from the affair of nine years ago is his.

Pastor's wife had bruises on her shoulders when she said her good-byes last Friday.  One of the husbands went to their house and was going to beat up Pastor.  My guess is she stood between to stop it and got moved out of the way.  I'd say, Pastor's just lucky the husband didn't take a gun.

The two women have not been seen anywhere in town.  It's been a full week.  Going on two now.  So far they're staying in their houses.  I don't know how the one who is a marriage and family counselor can keep her job going.  That seems like a farce too.  A mockery of marriage. I feel sad and sorry for the children and all the families. 

Every saint has a past.  Every sinner has a future.


1 comment:

Jules said...

Lil, I'm really, really sorry for all that you're going through. And I'm sorry about the DNA test because I'm scared it's just going to cause more heartache and mess up one little boy's life. It just sounds as if there's so much pain going down at the moment, but it won't always be like this. You will learn from it and grow. Don't give up on your church. There'll be a lot of others there who are also hurting and who feel betrayed and you need to support each other. All those involved, and the innocent victims, all need our prayer. I'll be praying and for you too. I know this is hard but you WILL get through it.