I got a new Ficcare today.  They are sure slow mailing their product out.  But the package was classed up.  They now have a dark chocolate brown box with the word "Ficcare" in script on top.  Inside, the clip is in a pretty little chocolate brown bag.  I really want the plain shiny silver Maximas clip.  It's online and in their printed info sheet, but you can't select it to buy it.  I emailed and asked if they'll have it soon and they said yes, and suggested I look at their other clips.  Now why would I write about one clip and ask them when it'll be available again unless that's the clip I want.  I don't want any other.  I don't want the Ficcarissimo matte silver.  I settled for another, a striped one, but it's wasn't my first choice.  The shiny silver is still not in stock.

Church was outstanding.  The visiting preacher is a young black man attending Oral Roberts University and he preached on David from the book of 1Samuel 30:1-9 and 30:16 -19.  The theme was "I'm recovering everything the enemy has stolen from me."  David encouraged himself in the Lord and we should do the same.  And God said..."Pursue!"  Very wonderful sermon.  It's wonderful to see young people on fire for God.  He must study the Word extensively every day.  It flowed out of him and filled my ears and my soul and my spirit.  Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but God delivers them.  And now is not the time to backslide.  Now is not the time to go to the things of the world.  God has not left us ill-equipped.  That's part of what I learned Sunday.  I went up for alter call and said my church family is in distress and I want prayer for that.

They left the gate open when they went to the mountains Sunday.  I was late to church because I was running up and down the neighborhood trying to catch Bella and Marmalade.  Thank heaven for Laurie Chavez.  I called her.  She helped me.  She's a good, good person.  Nine o'clock a.m. I'm running around in circles in the house because our horse and mule are loose up the street.  I thought to call animal control but couldn't find the phone book.  I went to the shed to get two harnesses, but I didn't know the combination.  So I thought who can I call.  Husband was at gun training class.  Son in the mountains.  I called Laurie.  She drove over here and must have come right away because she was here in ten minutes.  I owe her.  She got Marmalade and the she got Bella and we walked them home together.  She even walked with Marmalade and drove her vehicle - holding Marmalade's rope out the window at the same time!

Now I have shin splints and sore quads today.  Zumba tomorrow.  Not sure I can teach at my usual pace.  My shins do hurt so much.

Sow mercy. Sow grace. Sow kindness. Sow faith.

(From the song!)

I'm refreshed.  Renewed.  I listened all night to Andrew Wommack on grieving.  Four podcasts.  Okay, I listened to two.

Romans 8:18 - "For I consider the sufferings of this present time are not worth being compared with the glory that is about to be revealed to us and in us and for and and conferred on us!" 

The chapter is about life in the Spirit.  We're empowered by the spirit of God to overcome sin.

And Paul was in far more dire straits than I.  My sadness is nothing compared to his.  He was in a dungeon so dark.  He was whipped.  His back laid open.  And he was chained.  He couldn't even sit comfortably.  And, he sang.

Everything will be all right.  I have to keep getting out on Sunday morn and not sit in the muck.  Must get out and be with the people of God.  Forsake not the assembling...

I lied.  On Sunday, I didn't really like the church that much.  I didn't dislike it, but I miss my church.  My church.  My church family.  Usually there's about 175 people at my church on an average Sunday.  Last week there were 80 I heard.  My church family is blown to bits.  Little pieces scattered all over.  And what's worse, most of them I never told them that I loved them.

I downloaded four Christian podcasts about dealing with grief.  Hope it helps.

Sometimes I'm mad.  Mostly I just feel like crying.  A big moaning cry that shakes my whole body.  Then it goes away. 

Pastor's been dilly dallying with a church member says Pastor's wife.  I don't know if she has absolute proof, but that's what she said.  She knows scripture, I know that for sure.  My friend says the divorce will be particularly ugly because they've both chosen lawyers in town.  Two lawyers in town who absolutely hate each other.  That's a fine scenario. 

Zumba was good.  Tuesday I had 11 peeps.  This month's Zumba DVD is a gold mine of cute choreography.  I've found five routines I like.  That's a record.  One of the songs is "Take On Me" by Aha from the '80s.  Really cute dance routine.  Love it. 

Went to a church this morning. It was good. The pastor mentioned a Hillsong song that the chorus just learned and I was looking forward to hearing and singing it. It was a hymn. Haha! Not what I expected. The title is "Holy is the Lamb" from Revelation. After church we (we three amigas) were singing it and singing it but we couldn't remember the right words so we made up our own. Funny how you get a song in your head then you're humming it the rest of the day.

The fields are white for harvest. Harvest is not the problem. It's the laborers who are few.

I found out tonight that two very important people have left our church. She is retired but used to be a magistrate. I have always liked her presence - I can't think of the right word - her gentle personality has always reminded me of my Aunt Helen. She has long, lovely, blonde hair and she's older than I am. She has led the Ladies Group for years.

And she and her husband were close to Pastor and his wife.

Well.  It's started.  Pastor's wife filed for divorce yesterday.

I'm told that he froze all their assets which prompted her to file.  

I'm told she asked for his cell phone records and her lawyer recommended against it. 

I'm told a young woman, one whom I like quite a bit, was asked to speak before the board.  They asked her if she knew anything about what was happening.  She said no and was quite upset.

My source is a reliable one.  

I'm thinking a lot of 2Cor 4:8,

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."

The Holy Spirit will work it all out in his time.  I can only wait.  Pray and wait.  Wait and pray.

I felt I could keep attending till the Holy Spirit told me otherwise.  Or, I told myself, if he was mean to his wife I couldn't bear to be around him.

So.  I'm going to visit another church on Sunday.

I don't feel great about it, but something's wrong at my church.  Something has gone terribly wrong. Forty years of marriage comes to this?