I'm looking forward to church!

And it's Friday.  Yay!  We may go to Cruces tomorrow.  I haven't decided.

I sent my sister on a recon mission.  That's how she put it.  Haha!  She's doing an exceedingly good job.  Such a good job, in fact, that I realize the yoga classes I'm attending in Cruces are a dud.  My teachers haven't done anything that hers have.  I need to take a class somewhere else, but unfortunately anyplace else will entail a long drive.

Today we prayed right after work from 5pm to 6pm.  It went well, but I find myself feeling bad because being a leader makes me nervous and worried.  The first two worship songs we did, I played too loud.  I read Exodus 1, chapters 1 and 2, and to 3:6 out loud from The Message.  I think it may have been too long.  For Kathy and Mayela and I it would not be too long, but because we had two other women I felt it was too long.  I worried about what they were thinking while I was reading.  Well, live and learn.  You can't figure out what works best unless you do something.  If I do nothing I will learn nothing and not get any better.

And we wrote prayers on our new prayer wall!  It's about 10' high and 12' long.  We included dates so we can write when our prayers are answered too.  That part went well I think.  I think they liked doing it.  And when it's all filled up we'll take it down, fold it up, and burn it so the smoke will go to heaven.  We certainly can't put them in the trash.  Over the past week we've put writing paper on one wall, a sparkly blue border, and a title which is scripture from Exodus 3:5.  I think everyone like it.  I ran over there when it was time to write our prayers down and they all laughed.  Haha!  We all laughed.

The last two songs went perfectly.  I didn't play them too loud, and the lyrics were just right.  For closing we sang "You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman, and also an Aaronic blessing I found on YouTube that's very beautiful.  I plan to memorize it this week, in the English of course, so I can use it in praying for people.


I didn't ask to be our prayer group leader, but three of them I notice have called me the leader.  Makes me nervous just to think of it right now.  Gives me that bad feeling in my chest.  But I'm going to put one foot in front of the other and do the best I can, even if it's not perfect.  Alas, I'm a Moses - slow of speech and slow of tongue.

I'm so tired.  I prepared so much, every night of the week, but when I knew it was more than just the three of us, my energy got wide and unfocused and I worried about whether any thing and every thing was the right thing.  I over studied actually.  I don't do that when I'm learning just for myself.  Usually there's a laser beam on what I want to learn.  Maybe, I ought to pretend I'm studying just for myself.  Or, really study just for me, then share it with them.  Uh oh, my head is getting too tight! 

But the Holy Spirit was present tonight while we prayed and that's the most important thing.  I don't know when I became so able to pray out loud.  When did that happen exactly?  I don't know.

Among other things, we all have in common the desire to grow spiritually.  I hope I will be worthy of such a mission, that is, to give us focus.  We will each help the other grow spiritually.  That's what I think.  Because each woman has her strengths and weaknesses.  Together our strengths are compounded and together our weaknesses will be turned into strength. I have so much to draw from from my own prayer group.  I have been the one blessed. I have learned the most from them.

Next Sunday I will begin again to tithe. I will write the check today because I forget to write a check and my husband told me to stop giving cash. I used to put my cash in the basket and my husband would say why don't you have any money?  And, well, I had no defense.

I will take half the money from my Zumba money and half from my paycheck. 

We're getting rain tonight and it's fantastic.  Some thunder.  And now lightning.  I love thunder and lightning. 

I sat and talked with my pastor for a few minutes after church this morning and he was really talkative and he answered my two questions about prayer.  I think he may have enjoyed talking with me a bit too.  I hope so.  I didn't feel at all like I was bothering him.  I like him and his wife, Karen, very much. 

Went shopping last week-end and got a new knee length sweater, beige, from Old Navy.  Bought a sweater that'll go nice with leggings or jeans, and two cotton, long sleeved, tops.  I got two new pairs of high top shoes for Zumba.  One pair is red and pink and they're my favorite now.

Which reminds me.  I haven't been tithing.  I've felt so guilty for stopping.  It bothers my husband a little (my tithing) and I want him to be happy and I'm worried that if I tithe, he'll go get a job.  I don't feel good about it.  I need to do something about it because the devil likes you to compromise.  That's how he works.   I'm compromising.  I realized it during sermon this morn.

My friends and I are meeting for prayer on Fridays from 5-6pm.  It's been wonderful and fruitful.  We have had three other women come to pray with us.  I think at our next meeting we'll focus on prayer for pastors and churches.  We covered one whole wall at my friend's house with paper, added a border, gonna add a title this week, and we plan to write prayer requests on it and answers to prayer so we'll have a record of our prayers.  The title I chose for the wall comes from Exodus 3:5.  It's "...you are standing on holy ground."  It's not that the ground you're on is actually holy in and of itself, but it's the presence of God that makes it holy.  It was so for Moses as he stood in the presence of God in the burning bush and it's so when we're in Mayela's house praying.

I have a little headache.  But I feel happy too. 

Tomorrow is a work day.