Youth

Youth. It's very hard being young, isn't it. Sometimes, yes. I found a beautiful mimed drama online. I'll put it here. It's so good. Very well done.

A few days ago a young girl, 18 almost 19, phoned me. I don't like phone talking but I talked with her at length. I haven't seen her since and I don't know if what I said helped or not. She told me she was thinking of suicide. She asked me if I thought depression was a disorder. I didn't know if I should share that I was a jumper. If I tell one person, I'm sure it would spread. People can't help talking amongst themselves; a best friend tells a best friend tells, and on and on. As Ben Franklin said, three people can keep a secret if two of them are dead. Do I need to tell that I too, was in that place? Is it relevant? I have a young son and I don't want to shame my family, but even more I worry that if I say I did it and didn't die, maybe others would try it too. Suicide has an awful way of spreading among a group of young people when one person does it. I didn't tell her my personal experience. I only shared what I thought she needed to hear. She often comes up to me and hugs me. She will make conversation with me even when I fear I have that pained expression on my face and I do stutter. I don't quite understand why she talks to me. But when I see her I will hug her very big. I am ready to talk to her again. I don't know why this is happening but maybe God's telling me to be the woman I ought to be. That I need to be. I fight that a lot. I cocoon. Instead I need to see myself as a grown woman with something to give. I do have years. I do have experience. I am so diminutive though. Maybe I will pray for some boldness. Yeah. That's a good thought.

I really enjoyed Jules' post today.

I'm alive!

I survived. I know without a doubt, I could never work with children as a regular job.

On Monday I was freaking out. Tonight, I'm chilling. Just ate a whole package of graham crackers. You have to do that for yourself once in awhile, eh? And tomorrow? Tomorrow I shall dance. Just for myself!

Here is the sum total of my week. The product. The outcome. You are the first to see it. Tomorrow I will deliver it. I waver between confidence and knee-knocking, teeth-chattering. (I notice the sound is not even on YouTube but it's fine on CD and on my computer. I wonder if I should delete and re-upload it, but it took so long to upload.)

Downhill slide

My headache was all gone for VBS last night and I felt as good as I did at the start on Monday. I hope that I got the last of the photos and vid that I need. I made two giant posterboard collages and took them in and a guy helped me tack them on the walls in the entry at Kid's Church. I hope people like them. I printed the images off my computer just to get it done and to have something to show as soon as possible. There's no place in town where I can take a CD in for prints but in August there's going to be a brand new Wal-Mart in town so next year I can obtain regular prints.

Okay, so I never planned on making slideshows so I didn't buy that part of the package in Photoshop CS3. Rats. Everyone with Windows has Windows Movie Maker though so that's what I'm using. That's what I worked on till 2:00am last night and that's what I'll be doing, hopefully finishing, on this fine day.

I feel pretty good. I think I had a headache because I was anxious about the unknown. I get all tense all over and can't turn it off. I never got the headache part till the perimenopause came though.

Thurs

Headache. Tummy ache. Culling three days of photos today, gonna post some on poster board and hang them on the wall for the kiddies to look at. May not go tonight or may go for very short time if head still hurts. I don't know how a headache can last so long. This is the first time Tylenol PM hasn't worked.

I just ate a scrambled egg and toast so I'm eating right. I'm doing the poster board project first then will collect and make a file for photos and video to make the slideshow.

As the week as worn on the children have warmed up to the camera, some asking for their photo to be taken, some waving when they see me taking a movie. It would be nice if I already have enough material to compile the bulk of a three minute slideshow.

On Monday and Tuesday the time from 6:00pm to 9:00pm flew by. Last night though, I went to download pics and glanced at the clock which said only 8:00pm. "An hour more to go!" I screamed. And I grabbed my head and passed right out and everyone gathered round me stared down as I lay stiff as a board on the carpeted floor in the office.

Fake-a-rooney. Heh. :)

But my head really does hurt.

Whupped

I'm dog tired. I'm whupped. I slept all night and I'm still tired out! The kids are having a blast. And I? I admit to feeling very optimistic about things. Have to do dishes and go.

But, aaauuugghh, this whole deal feels like coloring outside of the lines. Can you do that? AAAAUUUggggghhhh! Because everything feels wayyyy, waaaay, outside of all the lines.

Stepped

It's clear. I'm outside my comfort zone. I'm going to VBS tomorrow and also taking photos. Every time I download photos I absentmindedly pull a couple hairs out of the top of my head and then regretfully say "Oh dang," so it's official. Gotta sit on my hand while I peruse the photos. I'm such an idiot.

Today I took quite a few photos with flash. Flash certainly works better. Possibly, that is exactly what I'll do. Flash for everything. An external flash would be great but it's on the "I want" list, not the "I own" list. Must make due.

I can't believe that tomorrow I'm purposely going to a location that will be teeming with children ages 4-12. Who am I. Where am I. What am I doing?

Helping out

I wonder if they underestimated how much time it would take to decorate?

Anyhoo, son and I are going back at 2:30pm to help out again. The kid's pastor's wife (she's a doll) is pregnant with their sixth baby and I feel so badly for her. She's always on the go and tired a lot. Poor little thing. And she's tiny petite. I'm an Amazon woman next to her!

All my practice photos without flash in low light were still blurred yesterday. I'm not disturbed though. Does saying I'm not disturbed mean I'm disturbed? Heh! Today I'm going to pump up the ISO setting. I got one fair pic yesterday. Only good in small size due to motion blur. I'm learning how the DOF (depth of field) works on this lens. Man, the DOF is about the width of my pinky finger sometimes. It's beautiful when I get it right. Such bokeh.

Desire

I've been praying for three months; Lord give me the desire to have the desire. Because see, I lack desire to get involved.

Prayer works and here I am today home for lunch from church. I'm helping with decorating the family center for Vacation Bible School. Funniest thing is, I came home for lunch happy. I came home for lunch looking forward to going back and helping.

Now that's weird.

This is an orange

And I'm really happy about it!

Day trip

We're off to Cruces for supplies. I got four zits this month and one was really big but luckily it was behind my bangs. This morning, a herpes on my lip. I'm just bursting with, I don't know.

My new lens should be here today.

Eight steps

God's Process for Blessing

Life is a process. There are eight steps in the process of coming to Christ.

1. Desperation produces exploration. Most of us are content until we become desperate.

2. Exploration produces revelation. The light comes on. You start doing some things differently.

3. Revelation produces expectation. The curtains are pulled back.

4. Expectation produces preparation. What do I need from God and begin making preparations.

5. Preparation produces visitation.

6. Visitation produces manifestation. Mary said, "Be it unto me according to the Lord."

7. Manifestation produces transformation. Faith is evidence of things unseen.

8. Transformation produces continuation. Now that you know you know, you continue.

Once you see the light, you gotta walk in the light.

These are my notes from December 16, 2007. I keep referring to them so now they are here for me for always.

50mm f 1.8 prime

I'm all a twitter.

I just placed an order at Amazon for a new lens. At under $100.00 it's the cheapest lens Canon has in its whole line-up. But it's good! It's nicknamed the 'Plastic Fantastic' and the 'Nifty Fifty.' I've read reviews and it's cheaply made (plastic, no metal, ask me if I care) but the glass is quality glass, tack sharp they say. It's my first prime lens which means there's no zoom. There's a trade-off between prime and zoom lenses. With zoom you don't have to move to get your shot. This is good for wildlife because usually where you stand when you first see the animal or bird, that's your shot like it or not. You don't get a chance to step closer so it's ideal to be able to twist that zoom ring from where you stand. My 100-400mm L lens (L is professional quality) set me back a pretty penny but I use it all the time.

Portraiture, that's a whole 'nother ball of wax. Definitely, this will cause me to move out of my comfort zone. Now why is it necessary for me to step outside my comfort zone? I have no answer to that question, but it seems to happen with regularity one way or another in my life. Anyway, I need a lens that's better for indoor photography. At the price, how can I go wrong. And it'll give me a place to grow, to improve. I will need to work on composition. It'll force me to move and to think about what elements I want in the frame.

My other option was an external flash but the one I want is several hundred dollars. Besides that, I don't want to be flashing in the kids' faces. I need to use the available light.

I'm up for it. Ready, set, go. Vvvvrrooom, vvvrrroooom! Thank you to Kim, Keri W., Collette, Fox for having faith in my photography potential when my own faith is lagging.

An old man

I found out an old man died. Why, I ask myself, am I afraid of people. Why, I ask myself, am I so cautious. I waved once. I could have talked with him sometime. He walked every single day. He had a walking stick and looked some days like he could barely move. But out there he was. Every day.

Rio Grande

I live a stone's throw from the Rio Grande. It sounds like it should be a magnificent river and if you remember it's running through miles of desert country then I guess it is magnificent. In some places during parts of the year it's bone dry or a bare trickle.

Yesterday I drove by and saw a pretty line in it where a tributary called Cuchillo Negro empties into the Rio. Cuchillo Negro means black knife in Spanish. This photo reminds me of a soup I once ate at a friend's restaurant in downtown Redlands. It was such a delicious soup - two soups in one bowl and it had a line of demarcation just like this photo yesterday of the waters meeting from the silt laden Cuchillo Negro and the green Rio Grande.

I was asked to photograph a ladies church meeting last night and I agreed since I was going anyway. I didn't get anything I love, but I got a handful that weren't blurry. I got a few studious/thoughtful face poses that were candid and I got one each of a young girl, a young woman, and an older woman. My lenses are really more suited to outside light. I'm keeping a good attitude and plan to figure out how to make some kind of adjustments for the low light. What I want to do is throw myself on the floor and go into contortions and cry. Also, how to get good pictures when the background is not good. I am distressed because I always look for a good background but I have no choice for a good background in this meeting room. Also, how to take good pictures when the people are not beautiful. I'm not saying they should be beautiful, I'm not beautiful, but the woefully few people pics I have are of cute babies or a pretty girl.

There must be an angle to doing this. Maybe I should just shoot a lot and hope to get a lucky snap. That doesn't sound like a real good approach to me. Are my expectations wrong. Oh dear. Oh no. Oh, oh, oh. Woe is me. My neck, my head, I'm going into contortions now!

The Verrrry Large Array

This is the road to The Very Large Array, aka VLA, in New Mexico. Today was cloudy. We got some rain too.


They're big. The biggest you'll ever see. Big as a baseball diamond it said in the video. There are 27 in all and they move them, rearrange them, on rails.


They move in unison. All 27 move at the same time. It's neat! We thought they were moving when were approaching but weren't positive. They're on a wide open plain.


I was thrilled there was a walking trail and you can walk right up to one of them.


And on the way home a group of pronghorn antelope. I was happy. I also came close to a spectacular bird of prey but had the wrong lens on the camera and he flew away quickly. Then I realized I had my camera on standard format all day. I had forgotten to change all the settings from July 5th.

Principle of Double Reference

This was a term I heard used once and for the life of me I could not remember it - until last week.

I heard it defined as the underlying spiritual truth in a story. That is to say a bible story has an obvious story and if you think on it, you'll also find a second underlying story. A message if you will.

I tend to double check things and when I went looking for definitions I noticed that actually the first definition I was given didn't say the same thing as what I found online. Here is a more complete definition as I've copied it from http://www.avhughes.com/images/laws_study.html:

Law of Double Reference-- A passage may apply primarily to a person or event near at hand, but is used by the Holy Spirit at a later time as applying to the Person of Christ, or the affairs of His kingdom.

The first definition is still correct but the second definition is more correct, if I may make that distinction.

So now how about a story where I can see this applied. Actually I know I've noticed the Law of Double Reference at work in many a bible story but I didn't know there was an actual name for it. It's not necessary to know, but it's nice to know, kind of like psychology. There are things you find out about in psychology that you know already but you didn't know it had a name. Like when my mom used to rattle on and on about why does she have to get up and go to work every day? To get a paycheck? To have a roof over her head? To buy food to eat? To buy gas to go to the store to buy food to eat. So she could go to work again. To buy clothes to go to work, and walk to the bathroom and have to pull some pants all the way down and sit on the commode and...to buy toilet paper to go to the bathroom to wipe her bum. The toilet paper was like the meaning of life. Her story was a lot longer and I'd be really depressed by the time she got to the bathroom part. It had a name: she was going existentialist on me. See, it's nice to have a name for things. That's a philosophical term not psychological, but I may has lost my point by now.

Book of 2Samuel, Chapter 8.
This one applies to Israel back then. But check it out. It applies to the USA now. How is that possible? How can the USA resemble Israel? The United States has worked steadily at getting God out of the public arena. So just as the Israelites wanted a king back then and were rejecting Jehovah, so our country is ceasing to honor God now. God is being pushed slowly out of all public arenas. We learn the Israelites are rejecting God because God has told Samuel as much. (See 2Samuel 8:7)

The next part, I kind of like this part, God says, alrighty then. Samuel, listen to the people but tell them, outline for them real clear, what they are asking for. (2Sam. 8:9) And he does.

An analogy could be a kid comes home from elementary school and informs his parents that he's been told that ifns he gets spanked by his parents, his parents can go to jail. Yay, no spankings now! It's true. But now the parent fills the child in on the rest of the truth. Yep, the folks can get in trouble with the law for disciplining their own children, but along with this the kids are going to be taken out of the home and placed in a foster home with strangers and other kids for an indefinite period of time.

And so Samuel explains everything to the Israelites. Sadly, even after a warning that it's not a good idea, they still want a king.

Well, now that I wrote this all down I can refer to myself whenever I want. That'll be good. I will remember the Law of Double Reference hopefully.

Today I thought we were going to see the Great Array, but we got there and I found out it's called The Very Large Array.

Writing what I want

As my relationship with Christ deepens it is like flying in a dream. Do you know that feeling? It's the best feeling. My heart verily swoons. It is much better than my opposite dream which is spinning down stage and falling off into the audience. I have worried that if I write what I'm thinking about I will have no interested readers left.

But I don't care if I have any readers. Yes I do. No I don't. Yes I do. No I don't. Yes I do.

So I've decided that if I have even only two readers that is okay because they will be the two best readers I could have.

Whoever they are.

Theoretically.

I told myself when I started this blog that I'd let it veer into whatever direction my life went. See, that was an ongoing problem with all my past journals and web sites. As my interest waned, my single topic site would die a slow, inevitable death, sitting out in cyberspace unloved or until I took the time to go out and delete it one day. Some of those it's a good thing they're deleted and you'll never know what they were about. Popularity does not equate to quality. But this is not a single topic blog. I am multi-faceted! (I like to imagine I am anyways.)

I have gone through a chapter of my life consumed by the exciting decision to grow my hair! Then on to Middle Eastern dance and my thoughts, experiences, and tribulations therein. (Long hair was good for belly dancing!) Then the prospect of traveling and the experience of selling our three bedroom suburban life (I wore my hair in a bun a lot) and liquidating the material gains highly sought after and lovingly acquired over the course of 20 years. Pop! All gone. Well, some is still in storage. Following that exhausting endeavor I journaled mostly about our travels: Year 1 to Alaska; Year 2 across Canada and north to the boreal forest; Year 3 to Nova Scotia. I wrote about family life, and during those years developed an avid interest in photography. (Long hair travels well and is fun to photograph.) Now our traveling has slowed. I still don't want to buy a house. I don't think we can live in a house anymore. Can we? I don't know. Never say never, huh? I love waking up in a state park every morning! In my latest chapter I have grown spiritually and increased my faith tenfold, twentyfold, a hundredfold and that is what I think about most these days.

What I think today is that Jehovah (in the Bible that would be spelled LORD in all capitals because Lord with a capital 'L' and lowercase /ord/ refers to His Son, Jesus) was pretty rough on Moses for smoting the rock twice.

I'm reading through the Bible from beginning to end. I'm on the slow student track but ya know, as a homeschooler I can go whatever speed suits me because I don't need knowledge that's 3000 miles wide and three inches deep. I want breadth, and I want depth too. That's a-gonna take a long time attain. Ergo, slow track, and that's okay.

Braid trouble

If I come out of the bathroom and my braid is stuck in the top back of my pants will anyone tell me?

Apparently not!

AYSO nightmares

I dreamed last night that I forgot to buy the drinks for the boys soccer game. Back in the day, twenty years ago, I was an AYSO soccer Team Mom. Ugh. I can't count how many times the parents just didn't bother to buy drinks for the boys on game day. Even when I phoned and reminded them the night before a game some parents would still fail to bring drinks so I'd have to miss the game to run out before half time for a pack of juice. It used to infuriate me. I was 28 and I was in college and decided I wanted to be a good person and get involved. Then a little group of about three moms got together and bad-mouthed me every week. They were a mean little group and I knew what they were doing and it hurt my feelings a lot. I was the only one who volunteered to be Team Mom too. They sat around and talked.

When we got back in town here one of the moms said I could sign our son up for baseball. I told her, nah, we're just not interested. She was quiet but I could hear her thoughts. I think her intentions are very good and she sees a hole in our son's education due to the lack of team sports involvement. If you have a highly competitive child then sports are great, but contrary to popular belief I do not see it as the be-all-end-all to forming a well rounded human being.

Last week I heard about the parents in town on opposing teams got out in the middle of the playing field and were arguing. The game was T-ball. The players were five year olds.

We had July 4th on the 5th

Didn't know you could do that, huh? Me neither!

I tagged myself

I enjoyed reading Jules' so much. People's individuality is so interesting.

1. Do you remember how you developed a love for reading?
I do have a story. When I was in second grade I was very quiet. Duh. But anywho, I guess I decided I did not want to read. Finally, my teacher tried to psych me out and said, "Okay, Liliana, you do not have to read with the class." But by golly, I psyched her out because I sat quietly at my desk with my reading book closed and refused to read. Finally, one day she took me outside and talked to me. I've been reading ever since.

I don't remember any of this. My mom tells the story to people and that's how I know it happened. My mom said she never did know what that teacher said to me, but she is forever indebted to her for it.

2. What are some books you read as a child?
I remember those Little Golden Books too, and loved them. I remember the cover of The Pokey Puppy. When I was nine I discovered fairy tales. I read every fairy tale book I could get my hands on. I still remember being in the fairy tale aisle and putting my head sideways to peruse the titles. Some of the stories scared me but they also had a moral in them. I think they taught me to be a person who didn't steal or be mean and cruel to others. I sat in a big, red, vinyl rocker when I read them. The back was greasy from people's hair. When we moved it took a big chunk out of the wall where it kept hitting the wall. I'm sure the landlord appreciated that.

3. What is your favorite genre?
Currently, history.

4. Do you have a favorite novel?
I think Old Yeller.

5. Where do you usually read?
Gee, I read a lot on the computer so that's sitting up. But I'll sit or lie on the sofa or in bed to read too. I can't stay in one position too long like when I was younger.

6. When do you usually read?
All day if I have a good book and my husband comments on that. I read my bible in the morning. Other stuff, piecemeal during the day.

7. Do you usually have more than one book you are reading at a time?
Heavens no.

8. Do you read nonfiction in a different way or place than you read fiction?
Not anymore, but as a college student I studied on the sofa, hunched over, huddled at the end of the sofa. I had to stop the pendulum on the grandfather clock because it drove me crazy. Husband thought I was whacked that the ticking of the clock could bother me so much.

9. Do you buy most of the books you read, or borrow them, or check them out of the library?
Buy or library. Sometimes when we travel I pick one up here or there. Travelers leave books around because they're too heavy to carry.

10. Do you keep most of the books you buy? If not, what do you do with them?
I used to keep them all. I LOVED THEM ALL BECAUSE THEY WERE MINE. I used to like that wallpaper that has books all over it until finally I had my own, real library that looked just like the wall paper. We leave our finished books at laundromats now. I still miss my book called The Well-Trained Mind by Susan Bauer. It's so big and heavy.

11. If you have children, what are some of the favorite books you have shared with them? Were they some of the same ones you read as a child?
None are what I read as a child. I read Go Dog Go and Goodnight Moon to our son a billion times.

12. What are you reading now?
The biography of Martin Luther.

13. Do you keep a TBR (to be read) list?
No.

14. What’s next?
The Book of Deuteronomy.

15. What books would you like to reread?
One my mom has in a Chinese cedar chest. It's old and has fantastical pictures of fairies and angels. As a youngster I was captivated by the pictures.

16. Who are your favorite authors?
John Krakauer, Jan Karon, but actually books impressed me more than the authors. I remember stories like Of Human Bondage, Shakespeare's Othello which my husband read with me line by line for a college class, Moby Dick (hated that one), Sylvia Plath's stuff, depressing, Listen to the Warm (a book of poetry by Rod McKuen...I read one out loud for ninth grade language arts class and I still remember by heart, "Miniskirts and pop art ties, are more than modern man can bear), The Jungle by Upton Sinclair affected me in college. Read it for political science.

President Reagan's mother told him that as long as he could read a book, he would never be alone. I remember that. When Ronnie's Alzheimer's set in he would sit at his desk and look at pictures of horses after he could no longer read. He was a rider and loved horses all his life. I think I may have seen a photo of him doing this and it made me so sad.

Jefferson Bible (article)

He was a deist.

L.A. Times article about Jefferson and his faith

From Merriam-Webster:
: a movement or system of thought advocating natural religion, emphasizing morality, and in the 18th century denying the interference of the Creator with the laws of the universe

And an excerpt from the article:
Deists differed from traditional Christians by rejecting miraculous occurrences and prophecies and embracing the notion of a well-ordered universe created by a God who withdrew into detached transcendence.

Independence Day tomorrow

I gave our son the day off tomorrow. Everyone thinks I'm rough and tough because we're "doing school" during summer. Sheesh. We usually do stuff all year but not because it's schoolish. Just because, I don't know, we just do. I haven't told him but I am going to give him a month off this year. Tomorrow we're only doing theology and the rest of the day is his. Right now he's on the island with the rangers and volunteers (some who are from our church) getting the fireworks ready. He's loving it, I'm sure. The fireworks display will actually be on the 5th. I guess they decided to do it Saturday instead of Friday so more people can come. The campground is full. It filled on Monday! Several families came in Monday and got a site and set up then went home. They came back today. That's one way to ensure you get a site!

Interesting thing. The private school where we sent our son for science and art last year; his teacher there mentioned she may homeschool her three children this year. Quite interesting I thought. I almost always had trouble talking with her. She seemed so, I don't know, defensive. She's young (well, early 30s) and working toward her master's degree. Sometimes I wondered if she didn't like having our son in her class, but our son loved her to pieces so evidently she didn't express an attitude toward him, only me. It's possible that it's just her personality. Or maybe the days I spoke to her she was frazzled. It could be that?

I will add a saturnine picture of me from July 1, the day I measured my hair. It's a little one cause it wasn't very sharp. I usually have good posture but I'm slouching. Tsk, tsk. I was glum because my hair didn't grow. Haha! Not really! I'm waiting for roadrunners to visit.

July hair 42"

What a month. My hair didn't grow. Washed it, dried it, got it measured, found out I'm the very same length as last month. This is for the birds!

This is my hair drying today. I dry it outside. I don't comb till it's dry.

I went to the VBS meeting today. Gosh, the kid's pastor gave me the longest, most interesting introduction and nicest acknowledgment I've ever had in my life. He talked about our homeschooling, our traveling, our work at the park. And he called me "So-and-So's mom." This is because everyone knows me primarily as our son's mom. And I am proud of that! One of the volunteers leaned over to me and said, "Other kids aren't like your kid." Well, I think it was a compliment. Hehe! I took it as one. And then the pastor said, "Now what is your name? I need to write down your name."

Did I say what my job is? I'll be the photographer. I will help with decorating too. I'm hoping I can take some videos with my little camera, and splice them together and make one of those interesting videos. My camera takes a not too bad video. That's my plan. Think I can do it? I will practice with something I have.

Pastor asked if there were questions. I said, yes. "Will you tell them that evolution is a lie from the pit of hell?" He said, he just might. I explained that that's what I tell our son and it makes an impression and it is well remembered. I think for the older kids it would be good to make that point. With the littles, it depends. For mine, it works, but many who come are unchurched - I wouldn't want to instill fear - and I have no experience with teaching children in groups.

I did real well at the meeting too. Only got widget once and it passed and it didn't show. They served a dinner but I didn't eat because for one I have trouble eating when it's not at home and two, I didn't know they were serving dinner. I have to watch my intake too because it doesn't take much to overfill a leotard. Then after the meeting they served cheesecake. I was offered a piece and I took it and said thank-you then thought what will I do? I didn't feel like eating because my brain was buzzing uncomfortably. Well, I covered it with a napkin and brought it home and ate it outside peacefully with the bunnies and the birds. And I felt happy, not in a jumping up and down way but in a good way.

Kathryn once said she knew many adults at her church who could volunteer, but did not. I knew I was one of them. But the Lord was helping me get cleaned up before I volunteered, so that took some time. I'm in pretty good shape now for the shape I'm in. I'm as ready as I'll be I suppose.

A vid

What's your cardboard testimony? I got this from sweet Devina.

He neighed at me

He's standing on a hill. We drove by at 9:00am and there he was. We drove home at 2:30pm and he was still there! That's weird!

A boot

These are expensive, custom made boots. The spurs have a ruby inset in each, or, well, one has a ruby inset. On the other boot, not pictured, the ruby fell out. If you want to dig through the dirt on a 350 acre ranch you could be the lucky finder of the ruby! The spurs were a gift to our friend from his grandad, so they're very precious to him. I asked him why the spurs were so teensy and he said the large spurs were made for breaking in horses and he's not breaking in horses so his spurs are like this. I guess he kept them on a wall for years till his grandad told him to quit looking at them and wear them. So he did. He does. They have a large, close-knit, family. His grandad died two years ago and our friend had a very hard time with it.

The calf branding was beyond my expectations. It was a piece of Americana - New Mexican flavored Americana. Evidently it's a yearly gathering that they've done for generations. Literally, generations. Some of the people in this sleepy little town have lived in this region for years. Some stay, some go and make a living and come back, but the roots here are strong. These people are dug in and they're not leaving. That's a new feel to me.

So. Yeah, I got pictures and video. I considered whether or not to post them. People who buy all their meat at the market (that would be me) or people who are vegan or vegetarian will find offense in the calf branding...and ear tagging and castration. The way it was done 100 years ago is how it's done today and that's what I saw yesterday. Me, I've had time to get used to the idea. People ranch here. People hunt here. In Southern California, as a city dweller I met zero hunters and ranchers. It's just not done, it's not cool to kill animals. But here it's different. They hunt and kill and eat the animals. The whole thing, they eat. There's not much waste I tell you that for certain.

I'm going to post some of my photos and maybe a video. Don't look ifns you don't like that kind of stuff. That's your fair warning.

I saw a baby roadrunner outside today! And yesterday there was an incredible sandstorm like what you see in the movies! Worst sandstorm I ever saw. Husband and I had just finished checking our campers for payment (we call it "checking for scofflaws") when we saw some weather approaching. We talked back and forth - could it be fog, could it be rain? But it wasn't grey. It was an odd neutral color with maybe a little amber in it. Then my husband said, "Sand. It's a huge sandstorm. Make sure everything's battened down." We were rockin' and rollin'. Found out this morning four boats sunk at the marina. The marina is closed today and looks like it's sunk a little. The levee, which isn't really a levee but the tires they put the water to decrease the waves from the boats, came loose and lots of tires are spread about. But no one died out there. I'm glad no one died. Get caught out in the lake and have your boat capsize in weather like that? I was just hoping everyone could get to shore quick enough. They did.

Did I mention that I got asked this morning to help out with VBS? Egads. Pray for me. They want me to help put up decorations. They asked me if I was any good at that and I said, no, but if you tell me exactly what you want done I can do it. Then he said, you take good pictures. Will you be our roaming photographer and take pictures for us? Sure I said, I can do that. I was kinda quiet because I was screaming on the inside when he said, "You like taking photos, right? I mean, we can take them but they don't turn out like yours." I do like taking pictures says I.

End of day

Tomorrow we're going to a ranch for branding day as in calf branding. I'm going to photograph, well, whatever I see. I've never been to such a function. When in New Mexico, do as the New Mexicans do.

People

Usually I can't photograph people. The human beings quash, as in extinguish, the joy of photography for me when I see the fake smile, the discomfort, the resentment of being photographed. So rather than go through all the asking and feeling people out about how they feel about being photographed, I turn to the sunset or the critters.

But yesterday I got a couple people pics I actually like. This is one of them. A beautiful girl. The prettiest girls are the ones who don't know they're pretty. Actually, she's an athlete. Competitive at heart, and I think she's a Daddy's Girl too. Click to enlarge. I like the expression and the feel.

I was using the telephoto lens. Maybe that's the key for me? Photograph people from at least 30 feet distance. Heh.

He's very small

I made a terrible error in judgment yesterday. I wore my hair in a pony tail to the lake. The wind came up too. Huge mistake. Got caught on my buttons, on my ring. Took a long time to comb out.

Roadrunner

I'm fond of roadrunners. I named one Roadie last year but then more than one started coming around so I wasn't sure if I was talking to Roadie or an impostor after that. Pretty creative name, huh?

This photo shows the bare patch of skin by the eye. You don't always see that. They all have it I think, but some have it brighter than others and only if they move the side feathers will you see the colors. It's bright orange and blue! I thought perhaps it was a mating thing but everything I've read says the male and female look alike, only difference being the males are a little larger. His beak is open because today was 103 degrees. Fahrenheit.

I got this one to cuckoo at me today. Ran in the trailer to get my little camera that will take a short movie and darn it, I couldn't get him to cuckoo again. I will try again another time though. They come by to drink from the water dishes we put out. We have to put out water dishes otherwise the critters, a squirrel or rabbit, we're not sure, will bite into our hose and cause a leak! Lil' troublemakers they are! We've had to buy two new hoses on account of them. We thought we just had bad hoses at first. Hehe!

Before we got this site there was a real nice couple here. The husband though, he was afraid of birds. Afraid, I say! I asked him one day, how come he was afraid of birds and he told me why.

When he was a little boy a cousin of his held him upside down and let the chickens peck at him. I was so sad for him. When the quail came by or the roadrunners came by, his wife said he would not come out of his trailer. He was a sweet man too.

Now if you are observant you've noticed this roadrunner has no tail. Indeed, I am sure something happened. I think he's lucky to be alive. We have several roadrunners come by and I've probably had him come by before but this is the first time we've seen such a short tail. I don't think all of his feathers could have fallen out by themselves.

This second picture is when he decided to leave. I thought it was cute plus you can still see the colorful patches near his eyes. I say he, but it could be a she. He hung around quite awhile.

Jack across the street

I also saw for the first time a tiny cottontail. He's about the size of a teacup and cute as can be. I got to within five feet. In fact I got so close that my telephoto lens told me I was too close. (It doesn't work if you're too close to the subject.)

I did not know the birding was so good at this spot this time of year. It's much better than our old spot. Today I saw an oriole. I hope he comes by again.

Husband brought me home a hot fudge sundae from Dairy Queen. I had no idea Dairy Queen made such good hot fudge sundaes. I could eat one every night. He had to go to the store for ant killer. I asked him what kind he got. He said the only kind they had. Haha! I have to remember there's not much in terms of variety here.

Several nights we've had Jesus clouds. You know that kind? The kind that has sun rays coming out every which way from behind a cloud? Really pretty.

'That's My King' video of the day

The church I went to in San Diego used this as an opening presentation and I was so moved I went to their sound team and asked for a copy to take home to my church. The sound guy said he'd download it for me but it was 99 megs. I told him no problem, I'll bring my external hard drive in. My husband picked it out and it's a good one. It sure came in handy. The sound guy admired it too. Heh, I'm not techy but I can pretend to be. Here's the vid at YouTube. Be ready to say 'Amen' at the end! That's my King!

Chicken soup

I have to start the chicken soup. Son has a little sore throat so it'll help cure him.

My friend is going to send me her potato soup recipe. If I can make it and it's good I'll be a three soup cooker: chicken soup, albondigas soup, potato soup. That's my dream of the day.

Nuttaller's Woodpecker

There's a family of three in our campground!

Going to bed

I slept outside so I woke early. Early for me is 9:00am. I will go to bed early tonight and maybe wake early or even earlier tomorrow!

Good news. The vandals were caught. Apparently long on courage and short on brains they took the credit cards they stole and went to Dennie's and the gas station in town. If they'd done their spending in a large city they may have gotten away with it. I heard that they didn't break in to any vehicles as in breaking the glass but went into ones that were unlocked. One of the vehicles had a man's wallet and $500.00 cash - their vacation money. So sad. But there is a happy ending because the criminals will not escape justice, or at least, the law. Now I'm keeping the phone with me when I sleep outside so I can call 911 if I need. I sure wish I would have been more aware last night. After the truck drove to the other loop I went back to sleep. Darn it.

My friend and mentor is maybe replying to a question of mine right now. I don't think I can stay up to read it tonight so will look forward to reading it tomorrow. I know there's a general way of looking at things, that is, if you have a good heart and good intentions, all is well. But I want more than that. I want a biblical point of view. Nitty gritty. As I've thought it over more during today, and gotten input from two of my top aides who've helped mold my prayer life and Christian life, I see my question is in a grey area and I think Fox is going to give me some things to think about and rather than tell me what I should do, she's going to make me think. I don't always like that because it puts the ball in my court and I can't lob it around indefinitely. I will have to decide for myself.

I pray I hear the Lord and that I let Him be my guide. I don't make it up as I go along. It is Jesus Christ I want to follow. I want to know what He wants of me. Please give me sharp ears. Sometimes my own voice is too loud and it gets in my way. I'm not going to ask a million people what they think. This is it. I will read and pray and think and pray and decide, and then stop questioning myself endlessly. Shall I add one more short, halting, sentence here? :) No, I shall not. Heh.

Tomorrow night there will be a beautiful and big (though actually the same size as always) moon!

Sweet desert air

I slept outside last night. The air smelled so good and the clouds and the moon overhead were so pretty. The prayers flowed freely. Effortlessly. It was good to get out from beneath the day long constant droning of the a/c. I only woke up twice; once for a funny noise that I imagined was a carnivore and once because a truck drove slowly by.

Turns out there was a great deal of vandalism last night. I suspect the vehicle that drove by was full of the people who did the vandalism and maybe because I was outside they didn't vandalize this loop. Just a guess, but I think so maybe. It's so sad people do that. Some suspicious people walked by two days ago. They parked on the road and just walked through the loop. We noticed because they didn't fit in. It's a little unusual for a large group of people to park on the roadside and meander through. Normally, they'd be camping or visiting campers and they were definitely not camping. Just so happens the day they walked by my husband was yelling (we were having a family issue) and anybody with ears would have heard for blocks. Maybe also, that attributed to why this loop wasn't vandalized. My husband isn't a shrinking violet.

It's hot out

Our a/c can barely keep up. And despite 107 degree temps what am I making for dinner? Chicken soup. It's almost done. At least I boiled the bird outside so it didn't simmer in here for an hour and a half. I have to come up with something that requires less heat before eating.

I have not enough energy for even a silent scream.

Ho hum

I have such a case of the blahs today. I can't stand myself!

What to do?

A Father's Day Link

This is an article about being a father that I think is very good.

http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/199/11381/

Science

We're beginning chemistry, studying the Periodic Table of Elements today. This is lesson two. I was freaking out because suddenly in this new unit our curriculum is teaching a subject that I know practically nothing about. We're taking longer to do a lesson but we're loving it. Both of us!

Article I'm reading

It was sent to my husband by one of the retirees from where he used to work. It's long, but it's good. I'll be finishing it tomorrow.

Global Intelligence Briefing for CEOs

Getting better

My husband and son are out trying to dig some visitors out of the sand. Well, not the visitors exactly, but their vehicle. People get stuck in the sand regularly. On holidays the tow company camps here because so many people get stuck!

They squeezed me in for an appointment yesterday at 10:00am and I'm using triamcinolone and it's working. The doctor had such a good heart. She even touched my rash. Usually they just peer at it from a safe distance of two or three feet. I'm not all better but getting better. Such a relief. My husband was gone to the city for supplies so I had to ask a friend for a ride. I hate having to ask a favor, but there are too many hills and it too hot for me to ride my bike there. She was very gracious so I didn't feel too badly. Bless her heart. If I couldn't get in yesterday morn they said the next appointment would be June 24th. Yipes. Praise the Lord for medicines that work. I hope I continue to get better and that the rash will go all the way away and not pester me indefinitely.

Where is SchnauzerMom's blog???

Aaaugh

I'm itchy. I'm itchy. I'm itchy. I can't stands it. I didn't go to church because long sleeves against my arms makes me want to scratch - and I don't wanna wear a tank top to church because I don't want to show my rashy arms. I dropped our son off at Kid's Church and came home.

I did forget to blog something important. On Friday night we went to a taco dinner at the church. It was a fundraiser for the youngsters to attend camp. All three of us went. And guess what. My husband had a good time. I was so happy. And I chit-chatted with a couple people. Woohoo! When we were home I told my husband that that was called Christian fellowship and he said it was pretty good. Hehe! Overjoyed, I was.

That evening for no reason at all our son said to us, "Mamma and Deedah, have I told you today that I love you both?" Husband and I looked at each other and said, "No." And he said, "I love you both." It was 'bout the sweetest thing.

She's got the heebee jeebies

Oh dear. It itches a lot. My forearms and it's moving up. I got it last month in San Diego and I've been ignoring it hoping it would go away but yesterday it got worse with a vengeance. Did anyone realize there's an 'a' in vengeance? I didn't. It's broken out on my chest now too. I have to see a doctor soon. It's not going away. Rats.

I've tried 1% Hydrocortisone cream and extra strength Benadryl cream and I took a Benadryl pill two hours ago. No difference. I want to scratch! I'm using my super power brain waves to avoid scratching but it's still driving me mad. Just running my hands lightly over my forearms feels soooo good. EEeeeeek.

I hate skin problems.

Reminder from my mom

June 6th, 1944, D-Day

Anniversary today.

The greatest armada ever assembled in the history of the world landed on the shores of Normandy this day 64 years ago. The whole world learned of it and celebrated. Thousands of clandestine radios in prison camps and resistance groups all over the world learned of it. We were glued to our radios, read the newspapers stem to stern, watched the newsreels at the movies. The Germans, with the exception of a few like Rommel, thought it was a feint and still expected the main invasion at Calais - too late did the truth sink in. We had landed and prevailed in Africa and Italy, but Normandy was the beginning of the end of a war that involved virtually every country in the world.

Remember.

This is an email from my mother this morning. She was a child during WWII, her father died in WWII, and she remembers.

Such wind

It's so windy here. I never knew it could be so windy for so long anywhere. Days and nights of wind. Mornings and evenings of wind. Weeks of wind. A month of wind.

Today it is windy.

Hillary loses

But she sounds just like she won. She is one piece of work. It'll be interesting to see who Obama selects as his running mate. If I venture a guess, I'd say it won't be Hillary. I think he's going to try to get votes from moderates and to do that he needs anyone other than Hillary. I think Hillary as vice-prez would make McCain a more likely winner in November.

I waits and sees.

I'm so impressed

I'm very impressed with myself tonight. I made a new soup! It's a Mexican meatball soup called albondigas. Everyone liked it! Well, everyone means two people besides me, but they're important people. Our son, who often is a picky eater, said, "Mamma, I don't like this." And of course, I was ready to chastise him but before I could get a word out, he said, "I don't like it, I love it!" Boy howdy, that kid. I was happy.

I'm not a very good cook but I think I might be a soup person. Now I have two soups in my repertoire that everyone likes: chicken soup and albondigas soup.

42" for June

Washed it this morning early. Both pics taken today. I wanted an outside pic but it's been very windy. The first pic is regular daytime hair and the second one is just brushed with a fling added for flair. Had a barrette in my hair for five minutes and got an indentation. See it? I do. And I'm not happy with the ruffle and ridging, but it's a day to day thing. Sometimes it turns out interesting and I like it and others days, no. Today is just --> No. I did earn two compliments at church this morn though and spoke a few minutes with another lady who has always worn her hair in a single braid, but today she wore it down. We were going around shaking hands and she and I ended up talking about hair the whole time. I must say, her hair looked lovely. I told her so.

January to June ends

I thought to put my January and June photos side by side.

In January I realized I made it to classic so it was an amazing month, but I didn't care for my feeble looking ends at all. They developed that fringe effect very suddenly. I had a one inch trim in March which set me back to a little above classic. Had some slow growing in April (it happens sometimes!) but now I'm at 42" which is the longest I've ever had my hair. It's a solid 42, baby!

Today's pic is not brushed very nicely but what the hey. At least I have a pic for the official record.

Sunday

Church was wonderful and I saw all the people I wanted to see today. And I chatted a bit. They call it fellowship. I did some fellowship!

My friend, circa 1977

We grew up in 29 Palms.

She's wearing the shorts overalls. They have embroidery all over them. The other girl is her neighbor and the guy is her big bro.

I can't stop looking at it.

Extra protein

When we were doing traffic control I got thirsty and hungry. I was prepared with a bottle of water and a carrot cake energy health bar.

I only had time for a drink and one bite so I set my energy bar on the ground. It was on the paper, not touching the actual ground, and the only place I could have placed it that wasn't on the ground was the top of a concrete encased light pole (it was waist high) and it had bird doodie on it. You can't put food on bird doodie; it might kill you.

So I got another quick break while my husband directed traffic and took a second bite. Felt a little funny. Felt like I bit my tongue except I hadn't bitten my tongue. I look down and saw some little ants and a few giant red ants walking around where my energy bar was. AAAUUUGH! I ate some ants. I couldn't see them on my bar because they blended in plus I can't see close up for diddly anymore anyways. Long time ago I told my husband not to worry because when he got old I'd be his eyes on account of I'm 18 years younger than he but his sight is better than mine now. Pretty soon my nickels are gonna be looking like pennies like Avrilon said.

At first my tongue hurt a little funny and after an hour it hurt regular and after two hours it hurt without any funny at all. At three hours I was able to go home and put ice on it which helped a lot. By bedtime it didn't hurt at all.

So don't eat ants. And for that matter, don't eat weevils either. I speak from experience.

Memorial Day 2008

It's another Memorial Day; the fourth Memorial Day since the inception of this blog. So. Before you light up that BBQ, before you continue with your party, before you start cleaning up and putting everything away and prepare to return the grind tomorrow after your excellent holiday....

Stop. And remember the men and women who gave their lives for you and me to live free, for you and me to lead our lives as we see fit, for you and me to practice religion as we choose.

And say a prayer. Take someone's hand and ask them if they want to pray out loud with you. Rarely will anyone say no. I encourage you.

My grandfather, my father, my husband, my son, have all served in the military. My grandfather I never met because he died as a prisoner of war. He died on a ship called the Oryoku Maru. In Japanese, "Maru" is like "U.S.S." on the names of American ships. The Oryoku Maru was originally a passenger ship. In fact, when my grandfather and 1,619 other POWs were on the ship there were Japanese tourists on it at the same time. Raise your hand if you've heard of the Oryoku Maru.

No hands raised.

The reason why no hands are raised is because when survivors of the Oryoku Maru returned to the U.S.A. they were required by our government to sign agreements that they would never speak of the horrors they endured. Why. Because the United States chose to help rebuild Japan after the war. If word got out of the horrific treatment of the POWs then it would have sparked a firestorm of anger and resentment which would not help us to rebuild Japan. We needed to help Japan rebuild.

This is a picture of my grandad. He died in the hold of the ship where there were no windows. He suffocated in a crush of humanity when he was 39 years old. His wife and his little girl (my mom) were in San Diego at the time. He was awarded the Navy Cross - not for dying in the war but for extraordinary bravery above and beyond the call of duty. The Navy Cross is the second highest of all the medals that can be awarded for valor.

If you are so inclined, an essay my mom wrote about her daddy is at:

Dear Grandson

The main page is:

http://www.oryokumaruonline.org/

This writer believes that since Washington, Jefferson, Franklin; since WWII, Kennedy, Martin Luther King, and Reagan; America has come a long way.

But she's going the wrong way.

Happy Memorial Day, dear readers. Have a great day. Remember the fallen. Pray for our troops, for our president, for our country, and for the world.

(♥ Hi Mom. I love ya.)

~Liliana

Hillary summed up

Here is the best article about Hillary and her campaign for the presidential nomination that I've read to date. And it's written by a woman, not only that, a woman I can't stand. Camille Paglia. But Camille describes Hillary so articulately even going back to mention when Hill was using that fake southern accent early in her campaign which irritated me so much. I guess it irritated some Southerners even more.

From the Telegraph.co.uk: Hillary Clinton's candidacy has done feminism no favours

Holiday week-end

Today we directed traffic from 1:30 to 4:00pm. I had a good time but I was ready to go by 4:00pm. I was starting to overheat. I'll say there's some riff-raff coming in here. Most visitors entering the park are cheerful, but man, some people have a chip on their shoulder. It's sad to see young people with such tough and hardened demeanor. By young I mean in their 20s and 30s.

We're saving a ton of money since we're spending less on fuel here than in San Diego and we have no space rent to pay. Another nice thing is that our son doesn't get roughed up when he's out on his bike here. I tell you, the kids can sure be rotten. The thing is they're all wanting to be different, especially so because it's an urban area, which is the normal state of things for youngsters. Yet here's a kid, our kid, who really is different and whattya think? They called him weirdo and Mr. Retard and hit and pushed him around a few times. Even a 14 year old kid did it. I think a 14 year old who's hanging around with 5-11 year olds has other issues as well. And his hat - he had to hit some kids for grabbing his cowboy hat but ultimately it was ruined from being thrown around. Next year when the children at that San Diego campground take his hat (there are people who actually reside in the campground called 'seasonals' and it means they live in a trailer but do not travel) I'm going to speak directly with their parents. It was an expensive hat. My husband bought him a new one today.

But I'm glad our son never shied away from venturing outside. I am glad that the name calling rolled off of him without damage. I attribute his strength and individuality to home education and his resolve to discipleship. I tell our son, "Be like a rattlesnake. Never hit anyone first, always give fair warning, and if you have to hit someone make sure they won't forget it." Course, that's not straight out of the Bible, that's from me, and I think they call it socialization in the outside world. Kids must defend themselves or else. Where playground politics are concerned, it's survival that counts and rallying and expending energy to survive is like a parasitic disease that sucks the life out of a healthy host.

One of the kids even asked him point blank, "When will you look like us?" He told them, never. (He's a cowboy and wears boots, belt buckle, shirts, and hat all the time.)

As his mom, I wonder if his hardheadedness is too much. He's my rugged individualist. My mother's intuition tells me, it will be both his strength and his weakness.

So

The p*d*ph*l*s get off scot-free. Any evidence discovered now is of no use. It was collected illegally. The kids will get to home though. For most of them, I guess, it'll be good and for some of them, it might not. It's too complex for me to undertake at this time.

We'll be directing traffic tomorrow and Saturday. Hope I don't roast out in the sun! Actually Friday will be great because we only work from 6:00pm to 8:00pm, but on Saturday we're scheduled from 1:00pm to 4:00pm. It might be a wee bit hot, sunny, and busy then.

Wednesday

It's Wednesday already? Some days went missing! Today it's reeeally windy. There's a big sandstorm out there. We slept outside the night of the full moon. Which night was that? It was two nights ago methinks. The air was crisp and clear and the moonlight danced on the surface of the lake.

We're going out to eat to our favorite inn in half an hour. They have a delicious buffet. I hope to eat a pasta dish.

Am still practicing my new dance daily so I won't forget it. I had trouble with placing a few moves at the right count of eight but I think I ironed that out. I did it correctly just now. Hope I can duplicate it.

Homeschooling is going unusually well.

I thought I should post something since I just visited myself here and saw I was quite out of date. Tsk, tsk. Where have I been. I don't know. I've been in New Mexico, the Zia state.

Almost to NM

Tomorrow we'll be there. I'm looking forward to feeling the quiet of the lake on my ears. I need to be at the lake.

Unfortunately

Now I have a zit right under my nose and another little one thinking about coming on. I can't believe it. I'm giving that stinkin' Neutrogena to my sister tomorrow. Unfortunately, I threw my old one in the trash and I cannot retrieve it. I would if I could but I can't.

Friday

Husband is washing and waxing the truck and it's hot outside. I've got a terrible zit on my chin. It might be from some new Neutrogena SPF moisturizer I bought that has helioplex in it. I break out from everything.

Busy day

And I'm up at the crack of 10:15am. I have to git a movin'. Only three days till we leave and I have to do everything I can't do in NM before then. I left the worst for last. Things I don't want to do. Sounds like I have a lot to do. Guess it's not a lot really, but it feels like it. My sis and I are taking a wire jewelry making class at 3:00pm. I hope it's good. That part I want to do.

Found new rugs for the inside steps and bath area. They feel so soft on my toes. I still need some for the living room. Husband said in his gruff voice, "Pick whatever you want," and walked off. He knows I don't like picking house stuff and he knows I'm not good at it. So I picked the rugs and then new towels, forest green, hung them up and first thing he did was complain they were not as thick as the old ones. They seemed thick, but they're not as thick as the old ones. I can't tell that sort of thing. You need a homemaker wife for that. I'm not a homemaker wife, I'm just a wife. So with my hands on my hips I told him if he didn't like them he should have been there to help me pick them out. That was the end of that discussion. I had a flash of fast thinking there which is highly unusual for me. He shopped in the rest of the store the whole time and left me to be tortured by towel selection. I hate that with a passion.

I feel just so-so about the stuff. At least it's not frayed and looking all ancient.

Our son sold his bike yesterday for $100.00. We got him a new one for his birthday. He rides that thing every single day so we thought he should have a new one. He put his old one on Craig's List all by himself and fielded calls. He didn't know it but it was edu-ma-cation. He ended up selling it to someone in the campground. Got his full price too. I'm so proud of him. Then he got himself a job polishing boots for a campground guy for two bucks. I was proud of him again. Then he got himself a job for five bucks doing bike maintenance for a campground family. I am so proud. I reminded him that it was his perseverance that got him those jobs. His first idea was dog walking and he said he never had so many doors slammed in his face so fast. Haha! Poor fella. But it was good for him. Many people told him "no," and some not very nicely, and he returned home down in the mouth more than once. But my child persevered. I regaled him with the story of Michael Jordan who was cut from the team in high school but he persevered. I told him, don't listen to all the no's. You'll get a yes if you keep trying. You have to. It's all in the numbers. (I was thinking actually, it's all in the hands of God which is the same thing as saying numbers.)

I know a pastor had a brother who was number one in encyclopedia sales. He was number one in the whole company. He won a big vacation for he and his family because he was so good. Sounds great and you'd think it was easy for him and he had a special knack for it and it just naturally happened for him, but he also got more "no's" than anybody else and the most doors closed in his face. He got the most rejections of all the employees in the company. Ninety-eight percent of people he talked to rejected his encyclopedias. But he just plowed forward with his goal in mind. It's like the gospel. Putting the gospel out there, a lot of rejection comes back. Just keep doing the work and eventually something's gonna go through. Look at Jesus. That's rejection - getting crucified. It's the Holy Spirit changes hearts not us peeps. We gotta give the Holy Spirit the chance, the opportunity and the time to do his work. It's kind of like selling encyclopedias door to door when you're a salesman, or finding people to hire you for odd jobs when you're ten years old. It's all in the perseverance.

That's what I told our son.

BBB

We're off to Bed, Bath, and Beyond, to hopefully buy new rugs and towels. I hope we'll find some we like.

Four days till we go back to New Mexico.

Last night I downloaded Neat Image to process my people jpgs. The demo version is excellent for web photography but limits you to applying it to images up to 1000 pixels only. Need more pixels for printing so I finally bought the home version of it. I can't wait to play in Photoshop some more.

La Jolla, CA

Quick upload of a photo from yesterday. I will have a pelican picture too, after I pick one. I think the big dude is protecting his harem and offspring. The black seal in the water kept swimming round and round the rock and hollering in seal talk but he wouldn't go up on the rocks!

Happy Mother's Day to you!

Mother's Day and my birthday are my favorite days of the year! Today my husband's making jambalaya for me. Yum! And everyone is nice to me even if I do something wrong. Hehe! The Dayspring e-card site is down though. At least, I can't access it. Don't know if other people can.

Foody thoughts

I want to eat some chocolate Donettes and milk. Really bad. But I've put on a couple pounds here. I should go to bed. But I'll be a teeny bit hungry and it's hard to fall asleep hungry. And it's the worst time of all, eating late at night.

Oh me, oh my.

My sister

My mom gave both of us our first haircut braids for Christmas. I asked my sis to keep mine for me. She's holding my braid next to her hair to show how close the colors are. I was about five when it was cut. My sister had dark blonde hair when she was little.

That's her natural color and she's never colored it. The should be in an Amazing Facts, Amazing Women book. She takes after our mother's side. And she has a monstrous pony tail circumference. She's quite annoying to me without even trying. She told me she conditioned it one week-end with some placenta stuff which completely grossed me out. I instantly gave her some avocado and monoi oil to use and she likes them a lot.

Morning

I awoke this morning at the crack of 10:00am and a hundred thoughts ran through my head. That's unusual! I like it. So I let them all run through and counted them like sheep jumping over a picket fence. I felt very productive lying there in my bed. Heh. Usually I wake up and I have to find my thoughts.

My teacher and I danced for an hour and a half last night from 7:15pm to 8:45pm. I went to her apartment which is only five minutes from here. She's a good lil' teacher. She's only 20 and a bit flaky at first I thought because when I started the class she missed the second meeting to attend a performance. I almost changed teachers. Did she want to teach or did she want to perform? I asked myself.

We went through the song over and over. Repetition is the key and I don't feel embarrassed to go over and over and over it with her. She's a doll.

Great article about blogging at CNN - Your blog can be group therapy. I agree on all points except that to keep a blog interesting, you should avoid the mundane. I enjoy reading the mundane. I suppose it does depend upon the writer and whether I'm interested in her life (I just realized from reading the article that I don't read any blogs by men). I don't mind at all reading about what people are eating (pictures are always good too!) or thinking or what their weather is doing. Of course, I like to know what everyone is wearing. But before I click in I don't know what they're doing or thinking, and I want to know. It's a daily surprise. It doesn't have to be earth shaking, mind bending life to keep me coming back for another read. It breaks up my day.

Some of the most memorable life lessons I've collected are from women who read me and wrote to me. A lot of life is mundane. How much would you say? Ninety percent maybe? How you live it is what makes all the difference. I would not be who I am, what I am, or where I am, without the women I've read and exchanged thoughts with online. Some of it is exceedingly personal but a lot of it isn't.

Before we traveled, before we went to Alaska or had even thought of going to Nova Scotia, I read travel blogs. Before we downsized to live a smaller life, I read Simple Living blogs. Before I became a homeschooler, I read homeschooling blogs. Before I became a less worldly Christian, I read Christian blogs. Each and every and all of those blogs were about walking the walk and living the life day to day. Mundane? Sure. For the writer, just another day. But for me, the reader? They rocked my world. They changed my life. The changed me. They changed my family because they changed me.

THAT'S not mundane and that's not dull!

...My husband just brought home some California rolls to eat! I'm still in my jammies and it's a little past noontime. The weather today is partly sunny, partly cloudy, full of promise, and I'm off on my daily blog reading circuit. It might change my life or it might not. I won't know till I do some reading.

Old photo

Finally. My dad sent me a photo I asked him for. SchnauzerMom gave me the idea. She has a photo that reminded me of one in our family. Hers is here.

This is my dad, he's the littlest one, and his brother and four sisters. One sister, the eldest who's also the tallest, passed on when she was only 69. Throat cancer. We think because she lived in Idaho when some atomic nuclear testing was done and the dust settled in Idaho. There was a lawsuit and some people got some money but they were in a neighboring state. The next eldest sister next to Grandad passed on last year. Alzheimer's. My dad's dad (my grandad) is in the photo on the right. I'm his namesake. My middle name is his. This was taken before or after church. I think before because they all look pretty fresh. My grama, she never went to church. She was Protestant and Grandpa was Catholic. When they married she agreed the future children could be raised Catholic. There was some trouble about it as far as my grandfather's mother not liking my grandmother. I heard that my grandfather's mother once complained, "She (my grama) won't even let me hold my grandbaby." That statement is a good indicator that there were problems. Such a shame religion does that. Grama's father was a minister. I was close to Grama but she never mentioned God to me. If she were here I'd say "Grama, what do you think about God?" I get a bump in my throat just writing about her which surprises me. It's been over 15 years.

So Grandad always took the six children to church and they went every Sunday. Grama got the kids cleaned and shined and polished and ready to go. They all turned out Catholic except for my father, who is agnostic.

The kids all have/had fond memories of Grandad but my sister and I were the last of the grandbabies and I only remember him as a cantankerous old man. He took naps and when he got up he'd sit in his chair and enjoy his pipe - cough and hack like no tomorrow. I guess he enjoyed it!

The only thing he ever asked of my mother was that she be sure my sister and I were baptized in the Catholic church. She did it and we were, but my dad, he's not Catholic. My mom is now, but wasn't then. I do have my dad's rosary beads that Grandad gave him. I want few heirlooms that are handed down, but the beads I definitely wanted. My dad said he never once prayed on them.

I know he's got a prayer in him. He just hasn't let it out.

Visiting

We have visiting to be done today. We're just going to do literature (he's reading Charlotte's Web), science (he's learning about the atmosphere), and his research paper (however brief, it is about the life of John Deere), then leave.

I didn't mean to but I washed my hair. My scalp was itchin'! I didn't keep the bottom very dry so finally just let it go and got it all wet. Sometimes washing only the top just doesn't work. Now I have to wait for it to dry. I used the hair dryer on the top a little. I might use it a little more. It's cloudy and drizzly today. It was kinda raining this morning even.

Wednesday I'm taking a private lesson (tribal fusion) to learn a new choreography. I really want to go back to NM with one new, complete choreography. It'll be different from what anyone else there is doing. I have some new music called Tribal Derivations and it has quite a few good songs. The song I'm using is called "Intertwine."

Son just did a measure for me. It's 41.5. That means I'm back to the length it was when I had it trimmed last at the end of March. Going for fingertip length. The ends are better quality than they were when I was at this length before. That one inch trim was a good one.

Ducks

Baby wood ducks.

No salmon run?

This is a excerpt from the San Francisco Chronicle. Salmon fishing is against the law on the west coast this year. First time in 160 years.

"It followed the recommendation last month of the Pacific Fishery Management Council after the catastrophic disappearance of California's fabled fall run of the pink fish popularly known as king salmon."

Bolding was done by me.

This isn't good at all.

And I've read that the giant squid are coming up from the deep ocean due to lack of oxygen - and areas lacking in oxygen are growing.

Cooper's Hawk

Photo taken 4/9/08.

All stretched out like that it looks like he belongs on a rotisserie. (Kidding!)

Today I received a great compliment.

I have met a lot of people (he means in a certain town) including you and (his friend's name was here though she and I are only acquainted) that live by the love and grace of a higher power, and not just on Sunday mornings.

Wow. Rock my world. I feel that it doesn't show enough and I think I am always not quite good enough. I'm going to try harder.

Killdeer

After her work my sister came over and we walked a big, giant circle around the campground. We walked for an hour. And talked. She talked about how busy she is and how she wants a day to do nothing. A day to just stay in her jammies and not have to go anywhere or do anything. She does a lot of stuff. I could never get done all the things she gets done. My hair might all fall out or something.

So I told her, every year you say the exact same thing. I told her I will simply record her complaints now and play them back next year and spare her all the jabbering. She laughed. Me too. She's always so busy and her complaints are always the same.

She said her husband admires our lifestyle. She told me I should appreciate it and not become complacent. She's a little sister, and far less deep than I, but I give her credit sometimes. I do forget to give thanks sometimes. I mean specific thanks, not general thanks.

It was...windy this morning. But this is San Diego. It was a baby wind. A light zephyr. Wind in the forecast they said, my eye. They should see wind in New Mexico. Or Oklahoma!

The bird is a Killdeer. They have the most annoying call of any bird I've heard. Well, next to crows maybe. Two of them were across the creek from us today. I was not sorry when they flew off!