More gone

The Vaseline with hot pepper mixed in didn't work. Overnight, Ginger ate more of Bella's tail. I'm so sad. Strangely, son doesn't seem upset. That child loves animals so. This morning I said Ginger has to go back. Nobody listened to me I think! Son said he'll call Anthony so we can take Ginger back, but I know he wants to keep her, not give her back.

Husband is gone to Cruces to the horse store. I'll see what comes of it.

He's home. I put bitter apple spray on her tail now.

Her poor tail

Bella's tail is my life.  It's long.  It's luxurious.  It's shiny.  It's two colored, black and white.  It's down to her ankles - or maybe they're called hocks - about six inches from the ground.  I baby that tail and use only the best products on it.  Heck, my mane and tail conditioner is the same stuff the Queen of England uses in her stables.  So the advertisement says.

Now it's PARTLY CHEWED OFF!  Gone. It'll take two years to grow back to where it was! 

We've had little Ginger here for two days.  I loved her yesterday until I woke this morning hearing our son talk about how Bella's tail had been chewed and I jumped out of bed and ran outside and saw 1/4th of Bella's white tail gnawed clean off.  It was all wiggly with dried horse spit where it had been gnawed on.  Then I ran to Google and found some advice.  I put a mixture of Vaseline and hot pepper on the tips of Bella's chewed off ends and I hope Ginger will get a mouth full.  I also ordered some super stink stuff that's supposed to keep horses from chewing.

Ai yi yi.  From joy to distress in a mere two days. She's seven months old and a pretty little thing. A dun horse. Walks up to me sometimes too.

Finishing

Finishing the entry I started.  I'm recovered from the shaving incident.

I've been thinking so much about this little horse next door.  She's about five months old.  She's a dun.  Dun is a color.  Dark blonde or light tan.  And she has black socks and mane and tail, white spot on her forehead, and a line down her back.  The line is a dominant trait in dun horses.  She's duperly friendly and I met her full blood brother and mother and both are gentle and friendly.  She's 1/4 Belgian which is a big, gentle, draft horse.  Watching her from a distance I thought she was a plain brown horse rather unremarkable.

Anthony, her owner, was going to sell her.  Is going to sell her.  Our son, so outgoing he is, is friends with Anthony.  Anthony grew up with horses.  His dad had 80 horses.  Thems is a lot of horses.  Today I got to watch Anthony work with the baby, her name is Ginger, and I watched him do "pressure and release."  It's part of the horse psyche.  I'm still hung up on dog psyche and I have to get it through my head how different horses are.  Like in the movie "Secretariat."  I've got to watch it again to catch the full dialogue, but it was something about how horses don't care about the clouds or the sky (which struck a chord with me because I'm into clouds), but horses care about what is in front of them, what is moving, where it's going.  Yeah, makes sense.  If your survival instinct is to be aware of what's around you then you're not gonna be checking out the sky.

Anthony told our son he's selling the baby to anyone else but he would give her to us.  Well, I decided long time ago that the horse I want, that I will get, I want at no cost.  I want a horse that needs a good home.  I'm not looking for high price with papers or fanciness.  I don't need a particular breed.  I want a good, healthy horse that will not bite me or scare me.  That is calm.  Friendly.  That I would be comfortable for my friends, when I get some friends, to pet and stand next to.  One I can ride someday.  Yeah, that's what I want.  I think Ginger may be the one.  I'd have to wait two years for her to grow up for me to ride her, but I don't mind.  We waited for Bella to grow up and now our son is sitting on her.  Not riding yet, but sitting to get her used to him.  She never bucked or kicked!  What a good girl.

My husband is thinking on it.  Soon we need to buy tack for Bella.  We need a saddle and stuff.  He's thinking we'll sell the trailer and use the money for horse things.  We'd like to improve the horse fencing here.  We'll see.  We'll see what's in store.  I'm okay with selling trailie.  It's a duperly nice trailer for an old one (built in 1999) and the floorplan is a hard to find one.  I hope someone will want it.  If we can sell it then that would be good.  We traveled for so long.  Truth is, I have no desire to pack it up for even a small trip.  Camping in it means stocking up, getting ready to go (don't forget this and that), coming home and cleaning it out.  Ugh.  I don't think I'm up for that.

Horse dreams.

Hoping wondering

I'm hoping and wondering.  I prayed too.  But God knows the desires of my heart even before I speak it.

For awhile I've wanted a horse of my own.  Son is a little fussy about sharing his.  He's got only child syndrome.  I decided to ask God for one and I decided  CUT, CUT, CUT!

AAAAUGH, AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!

My youngest child age 13 1/2 just shaved off his mustache.  I loved that mustache.  He's so happy.  I am going to weep!

The toning class was my favorite of the workshops I've taken.  The music is a little slower because you have to use more purposeful movements when holding weights, but the dance style is way fun and my forehead was dripping sweat.  My gluts were sore the next day.  Squats and lunges are a girl's best friend.  Such a good workout!  Best of all we were let out two hours early.  The class was small and more personal.  Only 11 students.  My other workshops had 30 to 60 students, so this was way nicer.  Apparently Zumba didn't realize they scheduled it on Super Bowl Day.  I only missed about half an hour of the Superbowl. 

The teacher was tiny and cute as a bug's ear.  She gave a good class.  She had awesome arms.  Hope I might get such nice arms.

My hope, my plan, is to learn the choreo and open a class in July.  I'll offer Toning in an eight week session.  There's more talking and instructing for me to do in a toning class than in a basic Zumba class so I'd rather not have drop-ins.  I have to know the muscle groups and exactly what muscle is being worked with each exercise.  I'm supposed to watch participants closely and check their form.  I have so much I need to learn.  I might be ready before July but I told everyone July because I don't want them bugging me before then.  When I was preparing to teach Zumba  people would always say, "When are you starting?" and I got tired of it.  I'm ready when I'm ready.  End of discussion.

Mostly today I'm thinking of my friend.

Toning

Tomorrow I'm attending the Zumba Toning workshop to get my license to teach toning.  It's 75 miles away and I have to be there at 8:30am to 5:30pm.   I love Zumba.  Love the teaching and the workout but I don't like the workshops.  They're so intense.  At the last one I injured my Achille's heel and it's barely getting better now.  Plus, I cannot believe they scheduled it on Super Bowl Sunday!  If I'd known in December when I signed up that February 6 is the Super Bowl I wouldn't have signed up.  Blah!  No day of relaxation for me tomorrow.  I'll be sweating.

I got my Zumba banner today.  Finally.  It's been held up for three days in Fort Worth, Texas, due to the snow.  It's real pretty, pink and orange and lime green, and very professional looking.  I'm hoping my husband will figure a way for me to hang it up where I teach.  It has to be so that I can put it up and take it down.  I want to put it on the front of the stage I stand on.  Hopefully, it'll be a good investment.  I had six students today and sweet Mayela let us dance in one of her garages because the senior center was scheduled for something and they gave us the boot for the day.  She and Kathy decorated it so beautifully.  They, I think especially Kathy, are so talented.  On my Zumba one year anniversary I want to give a free class and make it a big party.  Kathy said she'll help me.  She has a gift for that sort of thing.  She spray painted white fabric with Zumba sayings and "Zumba with Liliana!"  It was soooo nice. 

My head hurts.  :(  I want to stay home and cozy and laze around tomorrow.  Double boo hoo.  Guess I'll have to use my own saying on myself and tell myself --> Suck it up, Princess.

Thank you

Thank you Fox, and Daisy, and Kathryn.  He went home to heaven.  I was in bed and my husband brought me my phone.  Ann left me a text and Dad left me a voicemail.  Ann said they're going to bed now and I phoned but no answer so I bet they're plumb tired, whatever happened.  I wonder if they took the heart pump out.  I wonder if they were there all night.  My cousin, Billy, is there too,  Billy and Uncle Jim were pretty close.

I know he's in heaven.

My pastor says he's done a lot of funerals (of course, he's a pastor) and that sometimes family of the deceased will say to Pastor afterward, "So, do you think he made it to heaven?"  Pastor has to say he doesn't know.  That's what he tells them.  He told us in church, if your own family has to ask if you made to heaven, then what do you think?  He asks questions that make us think.  So, yeah, I have a pretty good general idea of who embraces the doctrine of the Holy Bible as true and for certain, and those who are unsure, and those who don't.  Uncle Jim did for sure.  So.  I'll miss him.  I think it's been a couple years since I saw him.  But he was with everyone in San Diego at Christmas and they had a really good visit.  My sister said it was hilarious because Dad, Uncle Jim and Aunt Dennie were joking with each other but half the time they couldn't hear what the other one said.  She said she suspected that they had "selective" hearing.  Haha!  Even at his advanced age, he drove back to Nebraska and stayed with family every year.  My father does too.  He's gone there every year for his whole life because that's where Grama lived and his sister is there and the Nebraska family.  He's got a big house and garage filled to the brim with tons of Corvette and motorcycle things.  He was a gearhead.  That's what he called car people.  Goodness, that'll be a ginormous job clearing it out.

Now three children are left of six.  My dad, the baby of the family, Aunt Gail who is one and a half years older than Uncle Jim, and Aunt Dennie, the second from the eldest.  Seems odd.  Like an outfit that doesn't fit right.  I don't like it.

Wrrds to remember

Words I'm saving.

We never like to let go of those we love, and it's hard to see them suffer. I am praying the Lord's will. He knows what is best. He may yet heal him and make him stronger than before! But if He calls Him home, then he will certainly have that ultimate healing and never suffer again. Praying that God will be close to all the family through this difficult time of waiting. We know the plans God has for us are good plans... and while it's hard to wait, we know He is doing what is best.

Decided

Ann, my dad's wife, said something today.  Sometimes, sometimes she does that.  She says a thing that resonates.  That makes me feel well.  She said every day longer is a day for him to get stronger!  Today he looks better and they're going to take the balloon pump out of his heart and then his heart will be pumping by itself.  Every day longer is a day to get stronger.  That's my prayer of praise and of thanks tonight.  I've decided that is how I'll pray.  Our God is a good God!

Snow!

Whee!  We have cold and snow.  The interstate is closed for 125 miles from Belen to Albuquerque and all the hotels and motels are so filled up that the senior center where I teach is being used as emergency shelter!  I hope it clears out for class Thursday night!  It's so beautiful outside.  It's 11 degrees right now in the middle of the day.  It's record breaking cold!

48.5

My hair is 48.5 inches long.  Growing slowly.

Mayela's mom made me a crochet headband with a flower on the side.  I love it.  She gave it to me at Zumba tonight.  My husband said it's very me.  It's kind of 1930s-ish looking.  Black and white.  Mayela gave me some stuff to rub on my back too that she says works well.  The package is all in Spanish.  It's smells like Vick's Vaporub.  I like it too.

Uncle Jim.  They cannot do anything for him.  He's been on massive blood thinners so they cannot do any surgery.  He's still sedated so he doesn't know what's happened.  It's hard to know what to pray for.  For complete healing.  It's possible.  For quick, painless dying.  That's what I'd want.  Who wouldn't.  I know he wouldn't want to not live at his home or be dependent upon others.  He's very independent.  I'll pray for perfect healing.  For God's will.  And I'll pray in the Holy Spirit.

It's snowing outside.

What more can I say.  Not much.  

1 Cor 12:29-30 (NIV) Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret?

John 3:8 The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”

Uncle Jim is in the hospital. He had a heart attack.  He's under sedation.  I'm having a hard time keeping my mind on anything this morning.  Last night my eyes were crying.  Usually I'm very good at compartmentalizing things. It seems that I love Uncle Jim more than I thought I did.  He's very easy to love.  He's funny.  He's a good conversationalist.  He's very interesting when he gets to talking about a lot of things that I never knew about him.  And strong in his faith in God.  We like to eat Snicker snack size bites at his house.  We bought some but they weren't as good as the ones we ate at his house.  Everything there is still just like Aunt Delores left it when she passed on and I like sitting in the living room and kitchen.  Now my nose is running.

I turned my computer all the way back on to note that I ate some chocolate chip cookies. Then I ate Cheeze-Its.

What a boring previous post. I can't even get through it.

Christina. I left a message in her guestbook. It looks like the leukemia is coming back. I feel so bad about it. And that's me. Think how it feels to her. I can't bear to.

I didn't teach last Tuesday, but I did on Thursday and Saturday. On Thursday I phoned Sandra because one of the routines requires a lot of bending and I knew I couldn't do it. I asked her if she'd come up on stage and dance it with me and, bless her heart, she said okay. I notice her because she dances it full out. She was the perfect person to come up and do it with me. She did great. I did the low impact and she did the high impact. I modified any moves that bothered my back and told everyone to dance like they usually do even if I'm doing low impact. On the boot camp move where we go down to the floor like a push up and then jump up, I hopped (okay, I scooted gingerly) off stage and counted next to each person who was doing them. It was fun!

Saturday I did more jumping and today my back is letting me know. Dag nabbit. I have to take it easier on Tuesday. Saturday's class was small with only five people, but they were very enthusiastic. They clapped a lot between songs. It was wonderful.

Missed churchity-church this morn. I had a hormone headache yesterday and took three Tylenol PMs. Had the night sweats too. Ain't life grand.

Went to a get together yesterday and commented that my church supports missions on every continent in the world except Antarctica, and that we'd support missions there too if penguins had souls. Uh oh. Someone didn't like the idea that animals have no soul. She was going to fuss about it but she decided not too. I looked everything up today to be sure I've got the biblical accounts correct, so we'll see if she brings it up some other time. I'm not much for debating if people are mean and she's nice to me, but can be very rough around the edges when she chooses.

Factoids. The Bible doesn't say for sure that animals do have a soul or don't have a soul. We do know God breathed life into Adam. And animals have the breath of life in them (Genesis 7:15). We know God created humankind in His likeness and His image - mind, emotions, will - and soul. (Genesis 1 and 2) That's the difference. Bella and Angel are not made in the image of God.

The prophet, Isaiah, says the wolf will feed with the lamb (pretty popular verse in 11:6) so we know animals will exist in the millennium (the 1000 years when Jesus will reign). Revelation (there's really no "s" in Revelation, the book written by John) talks about a new earth and while it doesn't mention animals, I know God is a good God. He is a just God. I am positive He has it all worked out and that it's a good plan. Who can have the mind of God except for God! Our son has allergies and in heaven we will live in perfection - no allergies. Imagine that. I think if I were an animal I'd want to belong to a Christian. Perhaps we will be surrounded by all our beloved pets when we get to heaven. That's just supposition on my part, but I like to think of it.

I'm first!

I think we're the first ones to get Girl Scout cookies! I bought two boxes of thin mints and one of the gauchos for husband and the little girl scout had them in the car already. We didn't have to wait weeks for delivery. Woohoo!

I will eat them and enjoy them until I won't be able to look at another one till 2012. That's what I always end up doing.

When I was 16 I used to eat the thin mints stored in the freezer. They were rock hard but I couldn't wait for them to thaw

Backache

So we got our new sofa set Thursday. It's beautiful.

We moved it into the house. Rather, husband and son moved it. I pushed and pickup up when my husband said to and the sofa didn't budge. That night my back developed a niggling ache. The next morning it was killing me. I couldn't bend at all. Try sitting on the pot with an aching back. Yeowch!

Had to cancel class for Saturday. No way I could dance. Tomorrow is my Tuesday class and my back still aches. I'm pretty sure I'll cancel tomorrow too.

Depressing.

I am never moving furniture ever again.

I had a touch of insomnnia. Now I have a tummy ache from not being able to sleep. I don't feel good.

My new PA speaker rocks. It goes so loud you can hear it outside. Absolutely no distortion. Worth every penny. The down side is the speaker stand is not user friendly. I have to return it. I can get the speaker on it, but I can't get it off. It's really hard. Even for my husband it's hard to turn the knobs. It holds the speaker for sure. I got one student on Saturday who came in and started dancing because she said she heard the music outside! Very cool. I'm so immature. I like loud music.

I've been asked to choreograph a dance for an August Quinceañera. Rose said her daughter likes my class and would like me to choreograph it for her. I said, "I don't know. Let me look at some YouTube videos first." I didn't know "Surprise Dance" was a traditional part of a Quinceañera. I checked out YouTube and man, there are a lot of, can I just say it, slutty Quinceañera dances. It's a sweet 16 party, but in Mexican culture it's for age 15 instead of 16. You'd think that if the parents put on a big party for their daughter that the daughter would want to show herself entering womanhood as a respectable woman, not as a hooker. My goodness. Well, I am certain Rose's daughter is not interested in such a dance. They are a wonderful family and will have a beautiful party.

So anyways. Saw them Saturday and the daughter hugged me and said thank you for doing the choreography for her. She's a sweet (and smart) petite little thing and I feel like an Amazon woman when I hug her. But I admit I was surprised because I didn't yet agree that I'd do it. I looked at her mum and said, "Did I say I was gonna do it? I don't remember that!" Haha! But I like Rose so much. I want to make Rose happy. So I will be glad to do it for them. That is what I want to say.

But there is one thing worries me. I've never choreographed a dance. What do they see in me that made them think to ask me. If only I can see me through their eyes. What did Eleanor Roosevelt once say? "You must do the thing you think you cannot do." I also like "Just Do It." And perhaps I can make a practical application of one I read today on the Zumba instructor's forum when they were talking about whiners, "Suck it up, Princess."

Potential is nothing unless I use it. (This saying is by me.)

A wedding video

I found the sweetest wedding video ever.  Guaranteed to bring a smile to your face.

Highlight of my day

The highlight of my day was that I forgot part of my new routine.  Let me just fall on my sword and be done with it.

But Rose still hugged me after class and told me I was awesome.  Of course, she exaggerates.  She hugs me every night no matter what.  She's waiting for word on her mama in Texas.  Her mama has battled pancreatic cancer and thyroid cancer and is nearing her end on earth any day now.  It's been very hard on Rose.

Two new gals came up to me and said how much they liked the class.  Made me happy.

Still want to fall on my sword though. I did perfectly fine when I did it at home today.  Just completely blanked out.  Rawr!

He came home from his first half day at school.  I was on pins and needles and said, "So.  How was it?"  He says, "Mamma, it was great."  Wow.  That makes me happy.

He wrote two pages about himself for the teacher.  He had a bit of reading to do as an assignment.  It's a Christian school so the article was about the lagamorph.  Rabbits.  It's about how the evolutionists have a problem with the wittle wabbits because they show no sign of evolution.  The little feet and teef they have from millions of years ago show no changes whatsoever, thus indicating that God made the rabbit as the rabbit and that's that.  So I had him review the biological classification chart and we read the article together.  Hope it helps him.

Felt kinda just okay in Zumba.  Had 13 people.  Flubbed 16 counts of the new routine I introduced today.  Completely, completely forgot what to do for about 15 seconds.  Makes me so mad!  Boo boo.  I'll get it Thursday though.  Announced that I'm getting a 1000 watt PA speaker and everyone was very happy.  Gonna order some Zumba tops for some of the ladies.

Piglets have about 113 day gestational period.  That means our little piglet is in his momma's tummy right now.  Our piglet to be.  Son will pick one out April 1st.

We put our baby in a very small Christian private school for one and a half days a week.  I miss him.  I'm lost.  What to do with myself.  I hope he likes it there.  It could be very good for him.

Nice New Background

Wow.  I like my new background.  I was going to use the New Year's one all year because it was purple and I like purple, but this one is better.  Brown haired girls.  Like me.  At least, used to be me.

I ordered my new PA speaker.  Should be here by Friday.  I phoned the store to be sure there was a real person to answer questions and the customer service was excellent.  A guy talked to me about speakers and sound and dispersion and speaker stands and answered all my questions.  It weighs 32 pounds.  About as much as a big baby I figure.  I'm gonna put in a rolling luggage carrier to transport it. 

Next I want to order some Abba Zabba candy bars.  I've wanted one for the longest time.  Can't find them anywhere though.  Tonight our son was eating taffy candy that was watermelon flavored and it was nasty.  It didn't even smell good.  It made me really want an Abba Zabba.  I'm gonna buy a box of them.  The only place you can buy one as far as I know is at the rest stop in Bakersfield, California.  There's a gas station stop there that has every candy under the sun. 

My back pain has gone.  I don't know why I got it and I don't know why it went away.  It was hurting all the way down my thigh sometimes.  My achilles' heel is doing well.  It would hurt after class.  I got a little pad for the heel of my shoe and it's helped a lot.  Praise the Lord.  And I expected no difference because two people said the heel inserts didn't help them.  I'm just glad it has helped and I hope it continues to do so.

I'm really embarrassed that my boom box is on the fritz.  I can't stop thinking about the new PA speaker I've ordered. 

I have a new routine almost ready.  Tuesday, maybe Thursday I can do it for class.  I hope for Tuesday.  I did my whole hour routine (in my at-home dance studio!) today because I practiced only the new routine yesterday.  I felt strong. 

I'm thinking to start a journal about how my body feels.  I'd think that exercising so much I'd feel fantastic every dang day, but I don't.  I get a little this wrong or a little that wrong, an ache, a pain.  Gotta dance through it and smile big.  But one day last month I felt totally good from head to toe.  I wanna see if there's a pattern.  I know there is for the stinkin' headaches I get.

Mayela has offered her garage for Saturday Zumba.  I'm still looking for a place for Saturday.  She's real nice this Mayela.  I like her.

A new top

I got a new top online and it's so cute.  I love it!  It fits.  And it was only $20!

I'm in heaven

Ohhhh, my husband put up mirrors for me tonight.  I love him so.  I have mirror for six feet across and five feet high.  We set them about ten inches above the floor and I can see my feet and put my arms up and see my arms fully.  It is splendid.  It's the best dance set-up at home I've ever had in my life.  The floor is perfect and our son waxed it for me tonight.  On hands and knees, he cleans every corner and crevice and makes it shine so pretty.

I placed my portable ballet barre in front of the mirror.  Oh I can't wait to practice tomorrow!

I'm not teaching tomorrow though because I haven't found a place for us.  I tried a county location and they charge $300 per day and $400 cleaning deposit.  I don't think I quite have $700 dollars for every Saturday!  Sheesh.  So Diane is putting me on the agenda and on the 18th the board will decide if they are willing to rent to me for 10% of what I earn.  I hope they will say yes.  I have two more places to inquire about next week.  Surely there is a place for us somewhere on Saturdays.

Our son has discovered the show "Golden Girls" on tv.  I find it amusing that a 13 year old boy likes "Golden Girls." 

Zumba on Thursday night was excellent.  Way better than on Tuesday.  I was disappointed with myself Tuesday.  I made up for it on Thursday.  As soon as class started, my tummy ache went away.  As it always does.  And by accident I made everyone laugh.  After class I was explaining how Zumba is like taking care of your car.  You gotta change the oil in your car and do maintenance.  And you gotta take your car out on the interstate once in awhile to blow the spark plugs out.  I said Zumba is like that for your body.  I just wanted to give everyone some encouragement.

Tomorrow I'm going to blow over half my total earnings on a speaker.  I hope it sounds as good as I hope.  My little boom box has speaker rattle.  It's quite sad.

Uh oh.  I don't feel so good.  My tummy feels bad. 

Went to see a place for Saturday Zumba class but the lady I need to see wasn't in.  Still have no venue for Saturday Zumba.

Am trying to remember my newest dance with confidence.  I was sort of iffy on part of it Tuesday.  Don't know what happened to my brain.  Gotta do better tonight!  Surely my stomach will feel better by 5:30pm.  Right?  Right.  

I'm sitting at my desk watching Bella eat.  We lunged her and she did well.  She has a preference for one direction over the other and she's improving at going counterclockwise.  Her white fur is cooler than her black fur.  I can really feel a difference in the white and black when I pet her.  It's just like we learned in fourth grade - wear white to reflect sun and black to absorb it.  We love to see her run.

I have thank you notes to write.

I have the new routine memorized, but I wanted to have two or three by now.  Only have one done.  Maybe I can get one of the other two down within two days.

Really need to worsh my hair.  I did my toes red last night.  I got inspired from reading Miss Paper Mache's resolutions.  Another one she has that's unusual and I liked is to buy something for someone else once a month.  I think I can swing that.  I'm going to try.  Whoops.  "Do or do not do, there is no try."  Okay, I will do it.  Starting, starting. . . sometime this month.

Need to rewrite my bio.  Not feeling too verily galvanized for it though.

Bella just plopped to the ground for her afternoon power nap.  She likes to take a 2pm nappie.  She's a horse with a schedule.

The roller rink is closed for assessment for structural defects.  This is not good for my Zumba class at all.  January is a good time for growth and I had to teach my Thursday class in a the very small studio downtown.  Nadine said she'd call me today, but I think she may be off work.  She always responds quickly to texts and she hasn't and no one is answering the office phone.  I'm in limbo.  Limbo.  My students are waiting for an email today about where class will be held tomorrow.

For school we read "Spring and Fall: To a Young Child" about mortality.

Margaret, are you grieving
Over Goldengrove unleaving?
Leaves, like the things of man, you
With your fresh thoughts care for, can you?
Ah! as the heart grows older
It will come to such sights colder
By and by, nor spare a sigh
Though worlds of wanwood leafmeal lie;
And yet you will weep know why.
Now no matter, child, the name:
Sorrow’s springs are the same.
Nor mouth had, no nor mind, expressed
What heart heard of, ghost guessed:
It is the blight man was born for,
It is Margaret you mourn for.

Auld Lang Syne

I haven't seen any of the movies she mentions and I can't stand Lesley Stahl. Oddly, I always thought the song had to do with forgiveness, but it seems I was all wrong. It's about remembering.

Written by Peggy Noonan. . .

Days of Auld Lang What?

The origin of the New Year's anthem—and what it means to us.

You know exactly when you'll hear it, and you probably won't hear it again for a year. The big clock will hit 11:59:50, the countdown will begin—10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4—and the sounds will rise: the party horns, fireworks and shouts of "Happy New Year!"

And then they'll play that song: "Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and days of auld lang syne?"

It is a poem in Scots dialect, set to a Scots folk tune, and an unscientific survey says that a lot of us don't think much about the words, or even know them. The great film director Mike Nichols came to America from Germany as a child, when his family fled Hitler. He had to learn a lot of English quickly and never got around to "Auld Lang Syne": "I was too busy with words like 'emergency exit' on the school bus," he told me. "As a result, I find myself weeping at gibberish on New Year's Eve. I enjoy that."

The screen and television writer Aaron Sorkin, who this year, with "The Social Network," gives Paddy Chayefsky a run for his money, says that every year he means to learn the words. "Then someone tells me that's not a good enough New Year's resolution and I really need to quit smoking."

"Auld Lang Syne"—the phrase can be translated as "long, long ago," or "old long since," but I like "old times past"—is a song that asks a question, a tender little question that has to do with the nature of being alive, of being a person on a journey in the world. It not only asks, it gives an answer.

It was written, or written down, by Robert Burns, lyric poet and Bard of Scotland. In 1788 he sent a copy of the poem to the Scots Musical Museum, with the words: "The following song, an old song, of the olden times, has never been in print." Burns was interested in the culture of Scotland, and collected old folk tales and poems. He said he got this one "from an old man"—no one knows who—and wrote it down. Being a writer, Burns revised and compressed. He found the phrase auld lang syne "exceedingly expressive" and thought whoever first wrote the poem "heaven inspired." The song spread throughout Scotland, where it was sung to mark the end of the old year, and soon to the English-speaking world, where it's sung to mark the new.

The question it asks is clear: Should those we knew and loved be forgotten and never thought of? Should old times past be forgotten? No, says the song, they shouldn't be. We'll remember those times and those people, we'll toast them now and always, we'll keep them close. "We'll take a cup of kindness yet."

"The phrase old acquaintance is important," says my friend John Whitehead, fabled figure of the old Goldman Sachs, the Reagan State Department, and D-Day. "It's not only your close friends and people you love, it's people you knew even casually, and you think of them and it brings tears to my eyes." For him, acquaintance includes, "your heroes, my heroes—the Winston Churchills of life, the ones you admire. They're old acquaintances too."

But "the interesting, more serious message in the song is that the past is important, we mustn't forget it, the old has something for us."

So does the present, as the last stanza makes clear. The song is not only about those who were in your life, but those who are in your life. "And there's a hand, my trusty friend, and give a hand of thine, We'll take a right good-will draught for auld lang syne."

To Tom Coburn, a U.S. senator from Oklahoma, the song is about friendship: "I think it's a description of the things we lose in our hurry to do things. We forget to be a friend. We have to take the time to make friends and be friends, to sit and tell stories and listen to those of others."

Gov. Mitch Daniels of Indiana said he always experienced the song as celebratory and joyful until something happened in 2004. Mr. Daniels was running for office, and it became a new bonding experience for him and his father, who followed the campaign closely: "He loved my stories from the road." The elder Daniels died unexpectedly in August, "50 days short of my election as governor." At a New Year's party, the governor-elect heard the song in a new way. Ever since, "I hear its wistfulness."

Lesley Stahl of "60 Minutes," enjoying one of the great careers in the history of broadcast news, thinks of childhood when she thinks of "Auld Lang Syne": "I see New Year's Eve parties going way back, all the way back to when we were little kids and you had to kiss someone at midnight and you had to sing that song." She interviewed Mark Zuckerberg recently. "Maybe in the age of Facebook you don't lose old friends," she says. "Maybe it's obsolete." Maybe "they'll have to change the song."

For the journalist and author Marie Brenner, the song didn't come alive until she moved from her native Texas to New York City, in the 1970s. That first New Year's in town, "Auld Lang Syne was a revelation to me. . . . I thought, this is beautiful and maybe written by a Broadway composer, by Rodgers and Hammerstein." She saw people singing it "on the street, and at a party in a bar downtown." There was "this gorgeous moment when everyone seemed to know the words, and people looked teary and, yes, drunk." They played the song back in San Antonio, "but it took me coming to New York to really hear it."

The song is a staple in movies, but when I asked people to think of the greatest "Auld Lang Syne scene," every one of them had the same answer. Not "When Harry Met Sally," not "Out of Africa," not, for film buffs, Charlie Chaplin's "The Gold Rush." The great "Auld Lang Syne" scene in cinematic history is from "It's a Wonderful Life," which Mr. Sorkin puckishly describes as "Frank Capra's classic tale of an angel who takes up the cause of a progressive in order to defeat a heartless conservative. It's possible I'm misinterpreting the movie, but the song still works."

The scene comes at the end of the film. Friends surround George Bailey, recently rescued by an angel. Someone bumps against the Christmas tree and a bell ornament makes a sound. George's daughter says, "Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings," and George looks up and winks. "Thanks, Clarence," he says, as the music swells. God bless the baby boomers who discovered that film on TV after their elders dismissed it as Capra-corn.

Tonight I'll be at Suzie and Joe's, with whom I worked at CBS News in auld lang syne. I'll think of some who won't be entering the new year with us—big, sweet-hearted dynamo Richard Holbrooke, and Ted Sorensen, counselor to presidents, whose pen was a terrible swift sword. I'll take a cup of kindness yet for them, for all the old acquaintances in this piece, and for the readers, for 10 years now, of this column. We mark an anniversary. Thank you for being in my life. Happy New Year.

[This article is found at WSJ.]

Lemon cake and revival

I'm baking a lemon cake.  It smells so good in the house.

Revival.  The coming revival.  Yr, basically it's a great and mighty moving of the Holy Spirit (God) across the land touching hearts and minds.  There have been a few revivals in history.  I guess the most recent one was in the '70s and I kind of remember it.  In my high school there were a few Jesus freaks and they were part of that revival.  Before that, in the early 1900s there was one called the Azusa Street Revival.  It went on for three years.  The denomination that my church belongs to is an outgrowth of that particular revival.  

God decides when revival will come but we're supposed to be prepared for it whenever it happens.  We're supposed to pray about it in advance.  And we should be studying the Holy Bible and know what is in it.  Everyone has an opinion.  But opinions are like noses - everybody's got one.  So a Christian ought to know what the Bible really says so we're ready to apply it when the chance comes.  This one I just memorized, "Jesus said, 'You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God.'"  Wow.  It gave me pause for thought and I figure the verses that stick in my mind must be for me.

Revival starts within the church.  Believers get tired or stale or lukewarm or just move away from godly living.  First they get "revived."  From there it spreads like fire to those outside the church just like Pentecost (when the fire went into the upper room where the apostles were) which was at first just for the Jewish people, but it spread to the Gentiles.

You can't quote me on this as I could be mistaken, but I think God can also bring up a new generation that is part of a major revival of faith.  I think this is very possible and even likely.  In the Bible, one generation equals 20 years. 

And also, revival is preceded by bad times, spread of corruption, and moral depravity.  I think we're there?

It's exciting to think there could be a revival in my lifetime.  I'd like to see it and be part of it.  Since I inadvertently played my pastor's sermon over the loudspeakers in Zumba dance, I've had full blown conversations about church, religion, and God break out in a small group who attend class.  I don't start it, but I listen and sometimes comment.  I've found out one gal in my front row leads a Catholic church youth group. I think God is stirring things up around me.  He's telling me to be awake.  Awake.

I hope I explained it okay.

Oh.  And my husband, I hope will be part of it.  Lately he's been coming to church.  I mean, like even more than twice in a row.  And last Sunday he wore a nice white tailored shirt.  Yeah, no kidding.

Resolutions

Hate the resolutions.  My husband likes to needle me and ask me what my New Year's Resolution is because he knows I'll get really mad.  Resolutions.  Bah!  People never keep them.  Mike once said his resolutions are three: 1) Eat more, 2) Watch more t.v. 3) Exercise less.  Haha!  Now that's the spirit.

Secretly, I might have one or two this year.  1) Pray more.  2) Study the Bible more. 3) Be the best Zumba instructor I can be. 4) Take an active part in the coming revival.

But now why should I stop there.  I should 5) Be a better wife.  6) Be a better mother.  7) Practice being a friend.  8) Keep house better.  9) Cook more.  10) Read more.

Alrighty.  Getting depressed now.  May as well throw in 11) Be a better daughter.

I did have a really nice talk with my dad tonight though.  That's something.

Why

Why did I hang up my white camisole top in the closet.  I'll never find it there.  Tonight I found it though.  I could have worn it sometimes if I knew where it was.

I had friends over.  I mean, it wasn't Jehovah Witnesses knocking on my door.  Let me say it slow.  I had friends over.  Wow.  Two at once.  Two with shiny hearts and bright minds and faces I like to look at.  How could I meet two people at once whom I like.  It's a minor miracle.  A Christmas miracle.  Perhaps Zumba was by divine appointment.

An epitaph

"Are the things you're living for worth Christ dying for?"
Epitaph of Leonard Ravenhill

I want to remember this one.

Tonight, finally, I have "Sabor A Melao" memorized.  Aaaaah.  Yes.  I do it over and over.  I wonder when will I ever get this down.  Then suddenly it all clicks.  It's not a fast dance.  Looks cute, but is actually quite slow.  Barely warms me up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RW0GrugEoyk&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL

Tomorrow

Tomorrow we're taking the day off of homeschooling.  Saturday, Mayela might come over and bring some tamales.  And she gave me a small Christmas gift in class and so did Rose and Tina.  Awfully nice of them.  Awfully nice.  I was very surprised.

Nine more days to practice three new routines.  Wanna start the new year with a bang.  Maybe I'll do a 'bring a friend, get in free' deal.  I need to do something special to draw in those New Year's Resolution People who will come three times then quit.  Hmmmm.   Gotta think.

I edited a song.  Used Audacity to deleted a foul word.  I think I did a fair job.  I have to test it out on some unsuspecting people.  There's a blip, but it's only a half a second long.

So happy

My blood pressure is lower than my sister's. And I'm four years older than she. Noony noony noony! Nanny nanny nanny! Lalalalala! And she's making me doubly happy because she's mad about it. She said so. She said she suspects the blood pressure taker machine was out of calibration. Hehe!

Her Zumba teacher is off galavanting (skiing somewhere) so my sis says she's getting fat and flabby from not dancing. She's littler than I am but weighs more because she's got so much muscle. Fat, my eye.

Oh Christmas Tree

Christmas is four sleeps away. My sister says it needs some decoration but now I'm kind of attached to it the way it is.  The present is to him from her and her family.  She's tends to be very organized and orderly.

Shucks

I hate it when everyone is in bed and I don't get any more emails.

Bella video

Ivan measured her and she's 13 hands. He estimates she'll grow to 15 hands. A hand is four inches.

To pet a horse

I got home from church and said, "Let's go pet Bella. She's laying down." So we walked over, opened the gate, walked to her, and she never got up. It is incredible to pet a laying down horse.

She's growing exceedingly beautiful too. Ivan and Doug came by yesterday just to see how she was doing and to admire her. I think next year she's gonna win a prize at the fair.

For Christmas I asked for a portable ballet barre. I hope I get it! I want mirrors on the wall too. I found some at Home Depot for a very good price. The study can double as a dance studio. We're so lucky it has smooth flooring already. I practice with just a door mirror right now and that's not much mirror.

I'm trying to upload a video of Bella running and it's going very, very, slowly.

Zumba

Zumba is going well. I have another couple incidents to report.

I've been dancing a long time and hip circles are no big to me. I've got some cabbage patch hip circles in my warm up and some low hip circles in the second song. They're very good for your body and always a hit with new people. Well, last Tuesday I had about 15 students and four were new. One was quite vocal. She was woohooing and having a great time. I like it when they do that because I'm not much of a woohooer.

But that night they got so boisterous during the hip circles! The new women were so boisterous that I blushed. My face turned bright red! The ladies were going to town with the hip circles! My front row Zumba VIPs (my regulars who like front row) all noticed my face. Haha! They said, "Liliana's blushing!"

The second curious thing from last week is the boisterous lady yelled "Pull in your stomach!" Good golly, I was mortified. Was my stomach sticking out? I almost had a heart attack at the thought that my stomach could be hanging out far enough to warrant reprimand in front of the whole class. The two women in front of me both looked down at their own tummies and then each other. It was so funny. I just smiled because I did not know what to do. My husband said if she does it again he's gonna come down there himself and kick her out! Hehe. Well, she did the same thing Thursday night. This time I realized she was saying it to the whole class as encouragement, not to me although she is almost directly in front of me. Told my husband how perplexed I was, and shoot, he used to do aerobics and he said she's probably taken lots of aerobics because in those classes whenever they do abs the instructor loudly reminds class to pull in their stomachs. So, mystery solved.

The last thing is I had a complaint from one student that two other students were too loud. I suggested she move to the other side of the row and I told her I'm not going to say anything to them and she was not too happy with me. I mean, what do I do? Tell them to quit having so much fun?

I got a save though because a real sweet gal, Rose, talked to them and asked them to quiet down a bit and they took it very well. Whew. Thank you for that. The other lady seems to have forgiven me now. She didn't talk to me after class the first night. I got the cold shoulder. That's okay.

There are all kinds of personalities that come to Zumba class. It's an experience. I guess I should get used to being a mother hen sometimes. Another thing outside my comfort zone.

She's a Christian

Well, if there was any doubt before, there isn't any now.

Tonight at Zumba I got to chitchatting to people and forgot to turn on my listening music playlist. So I rushed right at 5:30pm (I start right on the dot), fumbling around without my glasses to get my dance music started. My boom box was connected to the huge, ginormous roller rink speakers, but my Zumba playlist was not selected. Yeah.

I went to bed last night listening on my iPod to one of my favorite sermons by my pastor. I do this often. (I tell my husband I'm going to bed with Pastor Mike. Haha!) However, I forgot to take it off that playlist. So it comes on over the speakers. What's the title of this particular sermon? From the speakers his voice booms and fills the roller rink:

Islam and the Anti-Christ 

Electrifying!

Then he tells everyone turn to the Book of John.  Not John in the gospels, but 1st John.  And so on and on for the longest 30 seconds in my life. Then I got it switched to "Rock This Party (Everybody Dance Now)" by Bob Sinclar and Cutee B.

Welp.  It is what it is.  Nobody left!

We made the best chocolate chip cookies ever. Usually mine are so flat. Always flat. This time we left the dough in the fridge for two days because I didn't feel like baking them and it seemed to make them thicker and better. I've always admired people who have thick chocolate chip cookies.

Husband fell on the concrete last night. He went allll the way down. It was dark and son left the furniture mover on the ground. We were walking to the truck. Husband was fine though. Not even a bruise. I don't know many 69 year olds that can do that. He knows how to fall. I saw him in slow motion and I knew sure as I was standing there that he was calculating what was the best position to hit the concrete. Man, he's good. I wanna be just like him.

Have a new bellydance cooldown for Zumba. It's not even a dance. It's just static stretching - hamstrings, calves, gluts, quads, etc. Nice for a change. I abandoned the "Whatcha Say" cooldown because it was too fast and there was one move that wasn't in good time with the music. If I'm having trouble getting it then the class will. Have one minute of the salsaton memorized.

We filled bags and lit them for the Luminaria on Saturday. We enjoyed it. There was lots of help this year and we spent literally only 15 minutes lighting luminarias. That's a first. And the weather was the mildest of all the years we've lived here and done Luminaria. I didn't even need a coat. In past years I've had to wear my ski outfit (which I've never gone skiing in) and my winter coat over it.

I have a dream for next year. I'm collecting music and I want to put together a one hour Zumba class with Christian Latin/International music. I'm not going to tell anyone of it until I'm ready. So far I've collected 35 minutes of danceable Christian music. Found two choreography routines I like. I didn't know there was so much Latin gospel music out there. I'm gonna put together an hour of dance, do a demo, see if people come. If they do, okay. If they don't, okay. Let's see. Think I'll shoot for June. It'll be a challenge to learn two new dances per month for my current class and also learn a whole new set of different routines for a separate hour. I'm going to the Zumba Toning workshop in February.

We had two young men in church ordained this morning. It was, how do I say? Intoxicating. Yeah, it was intoxicating see them answering a calling. I'm so happy for Laura. Her son is one of them. I like him very much. Why is it so many men who go into ministry are so darn likable.

BP

Went to the doctor to get Zovirax for the herpes simplex type1 that was attacking my lip. I got to walk around all week and teach class with a giant scab on my face. So nice. Good thing I saw the doc too because although it was too late to use it for the scab on my lip, as soon as the lip one went away another started on my nose. The medicine worked on that one and it didn't break out! Thank you, Lord.

My blood pressure (BP) was 112 over 60. Pretty good!

Zumba is going well. My Saturday class is still small; six people last week. But it has a good vibe and I like it just as much as the larger weekday classes. It's a wonderful thing to see people gettin' into it and knowing the routines without having to look at me 100% of the time. When I look out at class and we're all dancing in sync it's very cool! Also, last Saturday I forgot my place in a routine and I looked at class and they were all doing it correctly. I took their cue and got right back into it. I loved it! I was happy. Also notable, at the last class I had no stomach ache, no retching, no having to go to the bathroom 10 times before class. Amen to that. I get a wee bit anticipatory before we start, but that's within the realm of normal. We like the realm of normal.

I haven't put up a photo for so long. Here's a camel. He lives in New Mexico. She, I mean. We petted her and she was so sweet and gentle. Her feet sink into the ground. That's what camel's feet do.

I had a Zumba song that I introduced on November 16. I tell ya, I had the impression no one liked it. The very first day we went through it - at the end there was dead silence in the room. You coulda heard a pin drop. Okay, I says to myself, maybe it's because it's new. We'll do it a few more times, see if they warm up to it. It's a song by Ivy Queen, reggaeton genre. We did it seven times and I decided to rotate it out. First day we don't do it, two people ask why we didn't do it and said they missed it. Sheesh kabob! I told them, ifns you like a routine you gotta let me know! You gotta clap or say something to me otherwise I'm trying to figure out if peeps like it or not. Haha! Live and learn.

I'm practicing a new cooldown routine this week, then I have two salsas I'm going to learn. One is a traditional salsa and the other a hotter "salsaton"; a blend of salsa and reggaeton. I felt guilty when I put my first playlist together back in August, that I had not a single salsa routine. Whenever people think of Latin music the first thing they think of is salsa. I looked and looked and did not find any salsas that moved me. When it rains it pours. Now I will have two at once!

It has been a torturously long week-end.

Enchanted

I watched tv tonight. I watched a movie called Enchanted. It was so good! I want to see it again. Without commercials. I will ask my husband to buy it for me. The princess is so pretty and there's dancing and singing and love and cartoon parts and pretty dresses and hair. Really pretty dresses and hair. And all happy endings. I am happy.

Cher

We have a tv now. Last night I watched Cher on Leno for awhile. She didn't look so good. I used to like her so much! She was cool. I liked to see what she would wear on the Sonny and Cher show in the '70s. But she's had so much facial surgery. I've heard people talk about celebrity's faces not moving due to botox. Cher's face, except for her mouth, did not appear to move. It was very peculiar. I always thought she such had a gorgeous face but her face now is not good. It's a little bit mutant. It's like a permanent magazine picture; photoshopped and statue-faced. It was frankly, depressing to me. She didn't look good in her dress either. And she had a toilet mouth. They had to bleep the f-word. She was never articulate to begin with so perhaps she's always talked that way and it wasn't published. Nowadays it's collectively cool to use the f-word and she wants to be considered part of the collective, and many celebrities want to be sure to use foul language in the media. There was a guy I kinda liked though. He was on on another night. Duane something or other.

I found a clay class to sign our son up for. Love working with clay. Pinching it and coiling it and working with a slab. Fun.

Pie cooking

The pumpkin pie for tomorrow is cooking for 50 minutes. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Can't jump over it. Can't pass Go and land on January 2nd. Gotta go straight through.

For those who don't

I came upon a first last night.

The site for Zumba instructors has several active forums with scads of good information so I visit every week. Many instructors share choreography. They put up videos of their routines on YouTube and Facebook which is awesome for newer instructors like me. But if the routine is on Facebook it's a drag because I don't do Facebook. There it is. I've told people I don't do Facebook, but I thought I was about the only one. Seems like everyone here is on it.

Last night there was a link to a dance I was interested in and then I saw it was a Facebook link. I figured, too bad for me. I missed out. I kept reading and the very next post she came back and wrote, "For those who don't do Facebook, the video is also on my blog." Whoa. For those who don't do Facebook? Yay! I'm not so alone as I thought evidently.

A good night

Zumba was good. I earned a cool hundy and that makes me happy. Had several new peeps too. I need to think of a way to reward my regulars who attend so faithfully. And I want to reward people who bring a friend too. I must think on this. I danced well and felt better than usual. Well, okay, except for totally flubbing the new routine but hey, it's new so no one is the wiser that I danced it wrong. Compared to Tuesday, tonight was better because on Tuesday I felt like boo-boo. I felt cotton headed and I think I had a hot flash during the hour. That is totally bogus. Not likin' it!

Bella! She is learning to be lunged. That's when the person stands in the center and holds a rope and the horse runs round in a circle. It's a method of exercising your horse. She needs exercise very much because she young and growing especially. We should have been lunging her before now but we didn't know how. We tried. I tried to push her. Yeah, 116 pounds pushing on 1000 pounds and telling it "Go!" I got news. It doesn't work.

So Ivan came and showed our son how to do it and we've been flyin' since. I will take video of her. She's gorgeous in motion. Utterly. She tosses her head and kicks up her heels and holds her tail high. She likes lunging. Apparently she's a fast learner. I believe she's going to be very trainable like her mama, Nike. She did lay in a pile of pooh last night though and man, oh man, she stinks, and she's got black and green spots on her thick, white, winter coat. Ewww!

We went to a potluck at the park today. Got to see all the rangers and volunteers. It was nice. My husband made deviled eggs, and bacon with water chestnut or a green olive rolled up in the center. They went fast. Everyone likes his appetizers.

I'm cooking for Thanksgiving.

If the mountain was smooth

The door

Went to a birthday party, only I didn't drive up the driveway or go to the door.  It was 6:00pm.  Dark.  I saw the mailbox with the balloons on it and I was afraid to drive any farther.  What if I couldn't maneuver the truck.  What if I hit something.  I couldn't go up to the door anyways.  So I drove back home.  I can give her the birthday card for her son when I see her at Zumba.  I felt really good when she invited me.  Suppose I'll just have to be satisfied with that.

Tomorrow son turns in his 4-H project record book.  What a job.  Took a week.  I could brain the 4-H people for never mentioning how much preparation and record keeping and report writing a project record book requires. Next year.  Next year he'll do it again and next time we'll know what we're doing.  Look out then!

My hair is pretty good.  I have a bad chin zit though.  Not that there are any good chin zits out there I guess.

Wonderful Compliment

On the phone today a friend told me she's been hearing all kinds of good things about Zumba.  Her friend told her,  "The Zumba teacher makes us think we can dance like her."

Totally made my day. Totally needed to hear it.

Cool down

I just found the most excellent cool down song! It's at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duZ60fUYgX8&feature=related and is titled "Heartbeat Drum Song." It's Native American. I even have the English lyrics:

A hundred years have passed

Yet I hear the distant beat of my father's drums.

I hear his drums throughout the land.

His beat I feel within my heart.

The drum shall beat so my heart shall beat.

And I shall live a hundred thousand years.

I was looking for something Native American and was thinking drums when I happened upon it. 

4-H

We are working on a 4-H record book. It is a lot of work.

Long time

I haven't put up a hair photo for ages so I got one snapped today. It's just a pic, not a pose. Although technically, we hair girls all know hands on waist is totally a pose. It's a straight hem because of my trim yesterday. It was messy before.

My ends are lightened. "See through" as Heidi calls them. I never read any hair posts from Heidi anymore. It's possible that by this time next year I could be near knee length. That would be nice. I have another photo in the kitchen that shows my hair smoother and shinier but it's me bending over opening the oven. My dear husband took that one for me. I want to post the shiny hair but not the behind!

Gasp. I just checked my archive and looked at my November 2009 hair and my hair has grown. I mean, progress is evident. Wow. See? Taking photos for the record in a useful tool! Here I am thinking I've made not much progress. November 2009 I was 45". Two and 3/4 inches looks like more than it sounds to me. Welp. Time for a Snoopy Happy Dance! I gotta to watch O'Reilly on the teebee right now first.

Sunday night

I trimmed my hair myself 3/4 inch last night. Now I'm at 47 3/4 inches. It looks much nicer and the comb goes through the ends smoothly again. It's taking long to get to 50 inches. I first hit 47" in April of 2010. Trimmed in May; ends were scraggly. Trimmed again in July; ends accidentally got pulled into a fan, twice, and got scraggly again. Well, the trailer is narrow and it never occurred to me my hair would go in the fan. After two times, I was very careful! I will call 2010 the year of growing yet standing still. I want to do an oiling soon with my cap that I've only used once.

The newspaper man took a photo of my class last week. He sent it to me. I'm in the pink and black and those are my awesome students. I pray for them each week. I look forward to seeing them and hearing about their accomplishments and even aches and injuries! I wish he'd taken more photos. He came and left so fast. I'm collecting money to place an order for my class for Zumba tops next week! I hope it might give me some extra advertising when people wear them and get asked where they got them. I hope.

I only had four people in my Saturday class. That's the smallest I've ever had. But it was the first time in the new location too. I suspect with the holiday season approaching people may be busy on Saturdays. I will still go though because I need to do my whole routine three times a week for sure. Whether I have a teensy class or a large class I do my best to them happy they came and give them a great and thorough work out. The girl in the white shirt and shorts is pregnant so we will be having our first Zumba baby next year!

A food blessing

Our friends blessed us with a freezer full of meat last night. Unbelievable. Dan walked in with a bag of pig food and put it on the kitchen table. Said it was a care package. I wondered why, oh why, didn't he put it in the shed? Then he took out freezer wrapped packages; 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, about 20! It wasn't pig food. It was pork and beef. We've never had so much meat at once. Some of it my husband needs to figure out how to cook.

As Dan took out all the packages my eyes got bigger and bigger. His wife asked me if I was a vegetarian. Haha! I told her uh-uh, no way, but I never had so much at once. We've always shopped a day or a week at a time. Here in New Mexico lots of people hunt and lots of people simply buy a hog or a side of beef and freeze the entire bit once a year. We took the Kool Pops out of the freezer to fit the meat inside.

I have to write a thank you note. What kindness. I've never had this happen before. Life in New Mexico is so different from California.

Cha cha slide

I have a new cool down song for tonight. I've been using Lluvia, a Spanish song from Zumba, but I have to say it never moved me. I only chose it because I had all my other routines ready and I needed something a.s.a.p. for cool down. I hope Mr C's Cha Cha Slide Part 2 will make 'em smile. It'll take the 20-somethings back to the dayz of 8th grade. Me, I'd never even heard of it till last year. I was surfing music at YouTube when we were in San Diego and asked a friend of our son's if he'd ever heard of this song. He started dancing it right there in the trailer. Says, yeah, that's old. Little stinker.

I've been wanting a ballet barre. I think I'll ask my husband for a portable one from Amazon.com. He made me one once. Out of PVC, back in, oh, 1987. But I had the whole garage to dance in and he attached it to the wall.

Cold sore on my lip. Don't know why. I'm all perfectly pretty much well balanced currently. I did vacuum and wash all the floors in the entire house at 9:00pm last night which my husband says is the wrong time to do housework. I told him, if I've got the feeling then I've gotta go with it. Who can say when the right time is to do housework. Is this written somewhere or something? Is it in the law books or what?

Words spoken

Yesterday at dinner husband said he wondered if we should sell trailie.  Sell.  Trailie!.  Waaaah!

Workout clothes

Okay April! I love everything you ordered. I ordered this stuff and I hope it'll fit and look good. I like that customers can leave comments at Dance Solutions. A Zumba instructor got this top and said she liked it a lot. So. I had to get it.

This one I ordered in black.  Plain front.  Cute back!  I'm going to return it if it rides up.  I got a top from them that I never could wear because it would roll up from the bottom.

Need sweats for winter. I always wear my husband's which are humongous on me. This year! I will have my own. If they fit right, that is.  I like to roll down the waist a couple times because it makes my hips look better when I wear a close fitting top.

I went a little crazy and got this white pair also. We have a duperly good washer and dryer now so possibly they won't get dingy in one month. Possibly. Looked for the shoes, but they weren't in stock. I like those shoes.

From SanDiegoFit.com I ordered a plain pair of pants. The fabric is Supplex and I can't say enough about how well it hold things in place and wicks away sweat. I ordered a different pair that was purple and white tie dye, but it took me so long to click the order button that it was out of stock by the time I did. She who hesitates is lost.

And the last and oh so cute top. I hope it fits. I know, how many times will I say that. I got plain black with black piping. My sports bra will show, but it's not a sexy bra. It's a Wal-Mart bra. Alone, I'm sure the top will be too low cut, so I hope my bra underneath will go high enough.  The models are all like six feet tall so the pants go higher on me and the tops are longer.  Oh well.  We can't all be tall and gorgeous.  :)

That's all from my fashionista self today.

Omelet

I cooked an omelet this morning. Well, almost noon I cooked an omelet. It might have been actually afternoon. And I burnt it but I still ate it. It's the principle of the thing. My husband was talking trash about me while I was still in bed saying I don't eat a good breakfast. I heard him! He always, and I mean always, cooks breakfast for our son. I can't eat so early in the morn. I just can't. I've tried. I can't. I had Lucky Charms yesterday morning, and I heard our son say, "Mamma ate Lucky Charms yesterday," like I had committed some evil deed.

They were talking stuff about me so I got up and made myself an omelet directly! I decided on an omelet because I made a few when I was 18. I was on an omelet kick for awhile back then. I don't know why, but I remember it like yesterday, cooking omelets.

My husband was on the sofa while I stood over a hot stove cooking my breakfast in silence. And he said, "You heard us talking about you, didn't you?" I told him, in my high, unconcerned voice, no. Then I knew what was coming next. "How long have I been telling you, you need to eat a good breakfast." Twenty-seven years, I said, not counting the year we lived together, or the six months we dated. And he came over and gave me a hug. He waited till I would look at him and he looked into my eyes and said, "You are what you are, and I love you."

Mmmm. Okay. I felt somewhat better then.

I'm going to ask him to cook up some cheese blintzes for us later this week. They're a lot better than the toasty omelet I ate.

29 and 17

Yesterday I had 17 students. Same as last Tuesday. Last week, Thursday, I had 29 students. I tried not to think about all the eyes depending on me for steps while I danced the routines! The Lord has richly blessed my Zumba venture. I wonder if 29 will ever happen again. Think I'm going to move my Saturday class from the small studio to the larger venue.

Today my husband went with me and looked at the sound system and he figured out how to connect my boom box to it! Now I can play the music from my iPod and the sound will come from their two huge speakers. Ooooh la la! Sounded great. Loud. I like it loud. I can stop and start the music easily and I don't have to step on a chair then onto the stage, then walk into the sound room. That was quite lame. I've been having to set up my music so it's ready to start and then when 5:30pm hits I'd have to step on the chair, pull myself up on the stage, run round a corner to press "Play" and then come back out, carefully yet quickly step down on the chair so I don't break my neck, then get in front of class to begin. One less thing to be anxious about now. Thank you, thank you.

And I added some scary sounds in between tracks just for fun for Halloween. I got the intro to Jaws, a door creaking, a guy screaming "Help me!" and a couple others. I hope they find it amusing. I wanted to do a routine to "Ghostbusters" and I downloaded it from iTunes, but I couldn't think of good choreography fast enough.

I have small tummy ache for some reason.

I realized last night that for the first time in 13 years I'll have my own money to buy a Christmas present for my husband. What will I get him? I have no idea. Now that I think of it, I can never afford the things he wants. Hmmmm. He gets me everything I want but I only get him little things. Wonder why he stays with me.

We watched on tv last night the story of the Chilean miners being saved. Incredible. Husband and I were using up the tissues! What a story. It was Plan B, a company from Tennessee, that made it to the miners. Incredible. The Chilean government asked the world for help. Obama should have done the same during the BP oil spill rather than spurning international assistance so that only the American union members could work on it. The environment will be paying for that decision for a long time to come. I am looking forward to Tuesday. Someday, I hope ObamaCare will be repealed. Pelosi said, "Let's pass this bill so we can see what's in it." What? And now not one Democrat in the country is running on the "accomplishments" of this administration. Course, the health care is only for us peons. The Congress people get their own health care. They made sure that was in the bill. ObamaCare is so good then why won't they use it for themselves. Word.

I'm so accomplished

The bug man came yesterday. I made the bed and everything. We have seven pillows on the bed and they all match. I'm very proud of that. It's gold. The color is gold. Half the time, okay, three-fourths of the time, I leave the white comforter on the bed all day because what if one of us takes a nap? If it's already messed up and has the white comforter then it's all ready to sleep in. I take off the gold comforter and pillows each night and set them on the floor. So they stay nice don't cha know.

Husband said, "So did you make the bed for the bug man?" Yes, I did. I certainly did.

And I beamed with pride from the inside out when the bug man said, "I don't recognize the place." Indeed. I have scrubbed the wall behind the stove. We bought a new stove. I scrubbed the floor completely, and then the edges and floorboards all around the kitchen with a toothbrush and bleach. I cleaned the candy off the bedroom floor that looked like red wax. I vacuumed all the dust and hair from anywhere. It couldn't hide from me. Grime. I can't have it. I don't want it. I'm averse to housework, but fond of the result.

So I pretended I didn't really hear the bug man because I didn't want to appear too prideful, but I heard him. And I felt very good.

Here comes tomorrow

I got up to eat some graham crackers and milk. Since I've starting teaching Zumba classes I can eat absolutely anything I want.

I'm looking forward to class tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to class tomorrow. I look forward to dancing, yes. But tomorrow I have to announce that no toddlers or children are allowed in class. Two mamas brought their little ones to class last Tuesday. It's just not going to work. It's not good. My insurance doesn't cover that kind of liability and neither does the youth center. I hope I don't offend anyone and make any bad blood but I must do what I must do. I will feel bad if I lose the two mums because I understand that it's a challenge getting childcare. Actually, I'm going to try to tell the mums each personally, but I'll see how it feels and I'm prepared to announce it if necessary. I'm going to make a 8.5" x 11" sign too. On bright colored cardstock. One that no one will read. Man, I need a front man really bad so that I can just dance. Bah.

Half an hour before class I set up the music at the roller rink Tuesday to use their music system. Tested it out. Set it on pause so all I had to do was run in and hit "play." About ten minutes before class the electricity man came and turned on the air for us which was very, very nice, but when I was ready to start class I went to turn on the music and he must have hit a breaker that turned off everything in the little music room except the light bulb. Geez Louise. Help me. Help me!

So I used my boom box. I always take it now no matter what because I had sound system problems at the gym once. I learn quick. Good thing.

I put up a sign asking folks to sign liability form before entering and no one read it. Haha! Help, help! So at end of class I asked people to be sure to fill one out and seven people brought me forms. I had 17 in the class. Biggest so far since I started my fresh start. When I reach 22 which is one more than the most I had at the gym when I quit, then I will feel accomplished.

I pray that I'm sowing good seeds.

Son finished writing a memoir for eighth grade composition. He wrote about Winston and the fair. I think he produced a pretty good piece. It took a week and a half and should have taken a week, but I try to disregard time. Education is a marathon, not a race.

There was a quilting class I wanted to go to. I found out about it at the fair, but they meet at 9:30am. I got out of bed at 9:25am, so it didn't work out for me. Again. I'll try next week. No big rush I guess. I started the quilt three years ago.

My floor

Tomorrow the bug man is coming to spray. I vacuumed the house and cleaned the kitchen floor. I can't believe I just blogged that.

I practiced a new routine. I would have it almost done except that since I'm facing the class on Tues/Thursdays I need to start on my left side so they will start on their right. It's got me all discombobulated. I was going to type "discombooberated" until I realized it's not a word. I've always said discombooberated and now I look it up and see I've been saying it wrong. Good thing I'm not a talking head on television. I like Mary Katharine Ham very much. I think she's a real beauty and well spoken to boot. She writes for the Weekly Standard and she's on O'Reilly sometimes.

On Saturdays I face the mirror so I can start with my right and the class does too. Oy vey. I wish I could just do it one way all the time. This is going to be a little challenging. Some teachers flip back and forth. Last week I had to stop and tie my shoe. . . even doing that I lost my place.

I made a sign. "Please fill out liability form before entering." I hope it will help.

Last Thursday someone brought their toddler. He wasn't a problem, but a sign on the front door says this is not a babysitting service. If I get two or more bring their babies this could become a problem. Oy vey.

Week-end over

The week-end is over and I didn't get done what I should have gotten done. I don't like record-keeping.

I'm working on making a Zumba blog! People can go to it and see what our playlist is and, hmmm, I don't know what else to put on it yet but I'll think of something.

I let my Wordpress blog go. When it got the virus it was a drag. Rather discouraging. I don't spend the time in web design that I used to. I find Blogger so easy to use. Why do on my own what Blogger does for free. My homeschooling for preschool site got an infection and they deleted it. Bluehost emailed me and I had to call them and they told me where the evil html was, but I am not compelled to keep it up. So I told them not to renew my domain names or web space. Never thought it would come to that but interests change. We move on with time.

The week-end was good. I want to do it over again. Husband watched football. How can he watch so much football?

I did Skype with my sister! It works really well with our fast (as in normal) DSL. Sweet. We had to stop though because her husband was in bed and she was afraid she'd wake him. We both have cell yell really bad. Here were are, both right in front of our computers, yelling. I don't know why I feel like she can't hear me. We're kind of dorky I guess.

Two girls rode by on their horses and Bella starting running! Wow, she looked incredible. I didn't know she had it in her. Her tail was high, she pranced and ran and bobbed her head. It was a sight to see. Husband was in the living room. I was in the study. We heard her kick up the dirt and thought a dog was bothering her or something. We ran to the livingroom window and stood watching in awe.

My blog, my blog

Oh how I've missed my blog. I love my blog. I get a lot of comfort from my blog. I like thinking about my blog. I've wondered today what do I have to blog about.

****************

Cecilio died. No one could believe it. He was only 55 and it was not expected. He was only four years older than I. Cecilio worked for the city and he had horses and chickens and ducks and turkeys and lambs and colts and a goat. He delivered hay. It was his work after work. It was his own business. He was a good man and I liked him very much. He always shook my hand and sometimes hugged me too. He was handsome to my eyes. He had 12 siblings. To his sister, he donated one of his kidneys. She passed on some years ago. Now he is gone too. I think he's the second of all the children to go. I went by his house today and looked at the horses and animals and wept. The place is so empty. For years he lived there and never, never locked the front door. It would be wide open. Today, closed and locked.

He always said, "Don't ever be afraid of anyone or any thing." I cry for his grandson because Cecilio was very dedicated to him. He's only eight. Tragic. My heart hurts for Leah. She's all alone now and she inherited nothing. I had been meaning to ask her why they weren't married. It's her life, their life, and I just hadn't worked up the nerve but she probably wouldn't mind at all if I asked.

They were at the hospital and Cecilio was getting, I think, a heart procedure. I don't have all the details. There are heart problems in the family but none had before been detected in Cecilio. He told Leah he was thirsty. She said, "I can't give you any water because you're having surgery." He grabbed her and said, "Leah! I love you!" She said, "I love you too." Then he said, "I'm going to die." She said, "No you're not." And he died. How did he know so surely? What did he feel? How did he know?

I think of him when I'm outside with Bella and he never drives by the gravel road anymore and never waves. I waved to him a couple weeks before he passed on. I tried to keep Bella always well groomed so he would see her looking good when he drove by and I hoped he would tell Leah so. We wanted to have Leah and he over for dinner because they've both been so generous with their time with our son. Leah looks worn and she's broken. She goes to work still. I don't know how she does, but she does. She became a new grandmother a week after Cecilio died.

Our sweet Winston is gone. Son entered him in the fair and we knew he would be sold. Son went to give him a kiss and he was gone. The packers picked him up at about 1:00pm and we thought it would be after 3:00pm. I miss that pig. He was a wonderful pig. The saddest thing is that his last week, his ending time on earth, had to be so unpleasant. He was used to being loved by a boy and walked and having free run of the acre here. At the fair he was in a pen and could only go on a short walk. He was the most popular pig and our son's friends gathered round his pen and admired him and petted him. But he ate less every day. It's a sorry thing being city people in 4-H and loving a farm animal. Why did God make pigs so sweet and cute. But it is ranch life. Pigs don't contemplate death as we do. And he had a terrific life while he was here. He was a blessed pig. We were blessed to have him. Son has learned a lot about raising an animal. It's been good for him. Next April he's getting a piglet to do it all over again. The new piglet will have a good life here too.

In New Mexico there are no Hormel kind of places. We didn't want him to go to a slaughter house. He didn't. Someone local bought him. They'll fatten him up on their property for awhile then he'll be slaughtered. He won't be with a thousand pigs where they might have bad people abuse him. It'll be quick. They will shoot him. I had to know. I had to ask. All these ranch people at the fair, used to the ranch life. And here's me in my sunglasses, tears streaming down my cheeks because of a 275 pound hog.

Zumba has improved tremendously. I've made a fresh start. I quit the gym. I suppose they don't think much of me. I called Tuesday and said I cannot teach on Wednesday night and I cannot teach anymore ever. I thought my back was really messed up. I had lower back pain and it radiated down my left leg. I was so worried. They did a fine job telling everyone I quit. I quit my Zumba membership and paid a penalty. Thought I was toast. Yet I felt improved by Saturday. . . and so I went to the studio in case someone might show up but I was the only one there. It was okay. I danced the hour with myself and felt lost and blue.

Maybe the class grew too fast. I was a nervous wreck. I've since realized that perfection in Zumba is overrated. So I teach a 60 minute class and make a few mis-steps for 15 seconds. Goodness sakes. Well, I've learned to smile big about it and move on.

Also, I realize now that I didn't feel like a part of the gym. I heard that they were even turning people away because the room was filled. No one from the gym ever told me. I heard it from a friend of a friend after I quit. I realize now they gave me photo copies of the liability waivers and the sign-in sheet and kept originals themselves. That's not right. I am glad I left. Now, instead of $10 for a class I earn my own money. I've earned as much as $70 at a time now and after I advertise next week I expect the class to grow. I need it. I'm in debt with starting up the Zumba. I've signed up for the Basic 2 class on October 23rd! Yippee!

After I taught my Thursday night class I felt well and I knew I was over the hump. My husband said I'm my own worst enemy. I am, I know it. I tortured myself additionally thinking why am I doing this. Why can't I stop (the stomach ache and sleeplessness). I'm supposed to be transformed by the Word of God and here I sit, the same, the same. The same as I've always been. Even when I worked the previous Saturday at the studio and made a bit of money - it meant nothing. All the kindness and nice words from the students who loved the class lifted my spirit not one whit. Odd that you can attain a dream and it feels like emptiness. Probably I think it was perimenopause. It was my natural nervousness. Fear of the unknown. Fear of people not liking my class. Fear of having to face the gym owner and ask for a raise and not being happy with the mister room they added. Worrying about forgetting my routine in front of everyone. Fear about keeping proper business records. Of making sure people fill out the waiver. It's all alotta fear.

I added two new routines and I think everyone likes them. One is "Let Me Think About It" which is choreographed by the Hickory Girls and one is a calypso from Zumba. Quite fun! I'm in the best shape evah! The other night Leslie went home after class drenched with sweat and told everyone that Liliana whipped her. Haha! Funny grrrrl. I have young women in my class and they leave sweaty and tired. One girl handed me a damp $10 bill and I looked perplexed and she told me it was from her back pocket and her butt (her word) was all sweaty. Haha! It is good to be feeling better. Like my dad said, it's supposed to be fun. I step in the bathroom to comb my hair and see my face in the mirror or my heart beats fast for a minute because a worry breaks into my mind and I run Cecilio's words over in my mind to remind myself, "Don't ever be afraid of anyone or any thing."

Hhmph

I walk all over the entire house, through every room, searching every table and drawer for my reading glasses. I look down and here they are tucked in my shirt.