Coffee tables

So we're getting a tv. It'll be one of those flat screen kinds. I have to research it. We're stepping back into the regular world. I'm shopping a bit for a coffee table. I wanted to put the tv on the wall, but what about the cords? I don't know if we can hide the cord and if any cords show it can't go on the wall. I like wood and I'd like a southwestern style since we're in the southwest. I'm thinking of these. Handmade in Mexico. Pine. All wood.

Oops. The giant end table is a little out of scale ain't it. I'm thinking used sofas and chairs and this new stuff. Not too expensive. Rustic. I definitely want rustic. Spill something, put your shoes on it, no big deal. It'll just add character to it. One thing that popped into my head last night - putting a vase of flowers on the kitchen table. I used to like buying flowers every week. Irises. I like irises. Purple. Gary already gave us a sofa and it's like brand new. It's awful kind of him. He and his wife are that way. Very generous. We will need a recliner for the man of the house :) and I think we need another sofa for peeps to sit.

Already told son he cannot have his computer in his bedroom. Computers belong in the community area, living room/kitchen. The tv is for my husband to watch sports. I expect to maybe watch some wildlife shows. Do they have those anymore I wonder. I'm not going to become a tv watcher. I already know I don't like some of the football commercials. Son has seen tv at friends' houses and has informed me of the list of shows he'd like access to:

Deadliest Catch
Dirty Jobs
Extreme 4x4
And maybe Wipeout

I have no idea what they're about but he's a fairly discerning so I think I wouldn't forbid him to watch them.

I put up the Zumba class flyers around town today: at the post office, laundromat, hair stylist's, the market, the ranger's office. I got my first Zumba email already from a girl who is excited that Zumba is coming to our town. People's excitement is contagious! I felt happy today whereas the last few days I'd been wondering what I've gotten myself into. Tomorrow I'm going to ask Gina if I may put a flyer in the store window. Lots of people go in and out there.

Eww

Poor Bella. She had diarrhea this morning. We think it's because she got real upset yesterday. Yesterday she walked into the narrow area between the fence and the shed they go in for shade and wind protection and got stuck. She must have been stuck a long time and I guess she couldn't figure out how to back out. Gary came home and heard a racket and found her and he got her out. She hasn't got a scratch on her and other than distress seems okay. I'm glad the diarrhea went away. Didn't know what I was going to do if it continued.

Tomorrow I get to clean her up. Blech. She's quite a mess in the back. Blech.

Appliances

Have to think about appliances. I have no name brand loyalties. The last fridge we bought was a Kitchen Aide and it was garbage. It leaked all over the kitchen floor one night. It wasn't a cheap fridge either. I liked the stainless steel look at the time and man, it was a pain to keep clean and beautiful. We're getting white next time. Don't need a fridge but we do need a washer dryer set. I'm thinking Samsung. It's made in China I think, but the Chinese know a lot about washers. Those front loader washing machines are the cat's meow and get clothes so much cleaner.

Can't say I'm not looking forward to purchasing things. I do still like to buy. It's the human condition I suppose. Am disappointed to be leaving behind the whole living small concept. We'll have water bills, trash bill, electric and gas bills, cable bills, weed killer spraying to do, watering of plants to do, cleaning house, CLEANING HOUSE, to do. Aaaauugh! I haven't done that in years. But I can take a bath in winter. We won't have to go to the laundromat. I'll have Pergo flooring in the extra room to dance on.

I will go with the flow. Everything's coming up roses so go with the flow.

Some mojo

Such a fine day. I just watered the birds. I always check Mrs. Thrasher's nest. It's empty now, but she raised to broods in it this year - four babies total. I can't help walking over to look inside of it. A couple days ago someone put some bean pods that grow on the bushes here inside the nest. I wonder if she did it. Husband said maybe a squirrel did it but a squirrel couldn't possibly climb a cholla cactus.

Some mojo. I got a hair compliment today. I wore it down to churchity-church and afterward helped husband in the Visitor's Center where a customer said it was long and pretty and, (the and is what has it) and my ends are nice and thick! She works in a salon as a masseuse and said she has to have a nice cut and style because of where she works and we talked about trimming, drying, and ends and so on. Very cool. Her hair was long by most standards and it was layered; thick and luxurious. It's interesting how she knew how to pass on a good compliment. Guess she knows that from working in a salon.

I think we might be moving into the house early September! My husband said we are gonna get a flag pole! We had one at our other house. Got it before 9/11 too. A lot of people started flying flags after 9/11 but we had one quite before. I told him I am so excited at the thought of getting one and he said I was excited when we got the other one too. I don't remember that. I just remember being happy to have one. I picked it out and he put it up. It sas 20' I believe and it was a tad short so this time I said I'd like a 25 footer. He said okay. Can't wait to shop! We used raise the flag every morning (okay, he did) and took it down and folded it every evening (we did). Our neighbors seemed to appreciate it though I didn't realize they did till we moved and they told us how they would miss seeing the flag flying. I always liked the Gadsden flag too - the yellow one with the rattlesnake that says "Don't tread on me." It was the U.S. Navy flag before there was a U.S. Navy. On the other hand, we're in New Mexico. Maybe a New Mexico flag would be nice to add. Hmmm. We'll just the the U.S. flag. Another one would be expensive and it was have to be replaced as often and the American flag. Okay.

I have to start dinner. We're having chicken soup and fresh sourdough bread from the bakery. We're the only family I know who eats hot soup and a blistering hot day.

Paperwork and prep

Straight out of the camera.  A rarity for me because I can't control myself from highlighting this or that, messing with exposure and paintbrushing.  I smiled big.  I have some others that look like I have the crazies.  Emailed one to my husband and I walked over and said, Look at my smile, it's not too bad.  Hey, I said, you need to scroll up to look at my smile. He's such a man. Wished I'd shot the other side so my tattoo isn't sticking out right in front. I forgot about that.

I needed a photo for my flyers so I can print them and stop thinking about it. My husband traipsed through the hot desert on my behalf and scoped out a fine juniper tree with shade for me to stand under.  I was thinking a perfect venue would be a photo at the gym or the studio but I don't want to wait, plus a lot of the Zumba girls use photos from in their house or out and about doing whatever. I'm using the photo on top.  Usually I delete photos that show my turkey gobbler profile (the second pic), but that's what it be like.  Fifty one years takes its toll and I accept it. I'm alive and an imperfect jawline is small payment.

The real truth is, I wish to get it fixed someday but my husband doesn't want me to because he doesn't want me to accidentally die getting cosmetic surgery.  I don't do well under the knife and he knows it.  I do too, so shame on me for wishing. I say, better to die skiing or hiking or anything, even eaten by a bear, than plastic surgery for vanity purposes.  It wouldn't make a good headstone - The beloved Lil lies here.  Died from neck lift with platysmaplasty (that means with an incision under the chinny chin chin and behind the ears).  I'd never do anything to the eyes though.  I see people with bald looking, sunken eye sockets from having their eyes done.  Too chancy.  Eyes give such character.  I don't mind some sag in the eyes.  I should try to make peace with this whole aging thing.  Naaah.  Who am I kidding!  Can't do it.  No peace. 

I will drop off the flash drive with the printers tomorrow.  I still need to get a liability waiver.  Need to distribute the flyers in town.  Then I'll be pretty much done with all the setting up.

I'm memorizing the cool down routine today.

The meteor shower the other night was excellent. There weren't lots of them as when we were at Joshua Tree National Park a few years back, but the ones I saw were very bright and very long and quite spectacular. It was worth a rotten night of sleep. I jumped awake when a mosquito bit my index finger and it was then I finally surrendered and went inside to my comfy bed. Checked the clock and it was 4:00am. I always want to be at one with nature but I end up coming inside. Last time I slept outside a huge wind storm came up.

The Perseids

I'm going to sleep outside on a cot tonight to watch the sky.  I think I might be a day early though, so I'll have to sleep outside tomorrow too.  And the moon is just a couple days past new, just 6% full according to my sidebar moon, so it's small and won't interfere with its bright moonlight.  Ooooh la la.

I purchased liability insurance of one million dollars today.  I'm scared and excited.  Excited and scared.  No, not scared.  Anxious.  No, I need a positive word. Uneasy?  Queasy?  No.  They're positively not positive.  Eager.  Excited and eager.  Eager is a weird word though.  Kind of like "yearning." 

I'm looking forward to being a Zumba teacher.  I start on August 25th at 5:30pm.

Nice

I got two hair compliments yesterday.  A double header.  I was wearing my hair in a braid.  We were at Denny's restaurant paying our bill, well, husband was paying the bill.  I was sitting on the sofa.  And a young waitress, she was cashiering, told me my hair was long and pretty.  Wowie kazowie.  Often people will say, "Your hair is long," and I say, "It is."  I'm not sure if "thank you" would be appropriate.  It's more like they're making a statement of fact, not complimenting.  So anyways, it was great to get a no-bones-about-it compliment.  And that's not all.  Another sweet waitress sat down beside me, like a friend only I think she was just really tired, and started talking about how pretty it is and she added that not all women can wear my color of hair and look good.  I was really wondering if she was a long hair person.  She said she liked the color of my hair very much.

They were the nicest compliments I've gotten in a long time. I walked out of the restaurant positively beaming.  I told my husband how happy I was and he said, "Oh?" as he looked at the receipt from breakfast.  I said, duh, you know they gave me nice compliments.  As if!  And then he says, "Well, you do have beautiful hair."  And I told him he doesn't know anything.  He's just a husband.  And he threw his hands up exasperation.

Speakers and me

Speakers and me, we have a problem.  I'm always blowing them out.  I kept upgrading my sound system in my car (back in the day when I had a car) and still blew one of them out.  One speaker got a little rip in it which I could sense in certain music.  I loathe cheap sound.  Well, ideally I do.

So I was practicing my first song at the studio yesterday, Selena got there as I was leaving by the way, and three minutes later there was a huge crashing sound.  The owner is as best I can guess a Buddhist, Muslim, Namaste, with a bit of Virgin Mary thrown in for good measure believer, and keeps a shrine in the studio.  This sound system is barely squeezed in behind the shrine.  It's an excellent location to hide it from eyes of passers-by, but it's hard to reach.

So I'm dancing "Que Te Mueve" which means How You Move and I hear such a mighty crashing (I thought I was going to have a heart attack ) and it sounded as if whole shrine covered with glass ornaments, glass candles and oil bottles and pictures, was falling over.  It didn't.  Thank goodness.  But I looked behind it and I guess the deep bass and having the volume cranked up to 25 caused the two speakers to walk and they had fallen from the top shelf allll the way down to the floor amid a myriad of little stuff and things she stores back there.  I stumbled back a few steps and got hold of my neck (I always choke myself when I'm nervous) and after a minute decided I better stop hyperventilating and figure out what to do.

I picked up the speakers and placed them back on the shelf.  I'm a dork and put one upside down, but then I noticed and put it upright.  One lost its wire but to the other a wire was still attached.  I tentatively played my CD and listened real close and one speaker was busted, but the other one sounded fine.  Called the owner and she was real sweet and kind about it.  It's true that it was already precariously perched, but you know, people can get mean when it comes to their stuff, but she was very nice and all forgiving.  I suggested her husband could fix it or my husband could (hopefully) and she replied that her husband is not a fixer of things, so I said I'll have mine look at it.  He looked at it today and soldered the wires back together and added hinges so the speakers won't walk.  He's going to go back and make it so the top shelf won't be able to tip off the rack too.  I love him so

Welp, looks like the week of the 16th or the 23rd I'm gonna have to buckle down and actually teach an actual Zumba class.  I'm working on flyers now.

I have a new pair of sunglasses.  I'm off expensive sunglasses.  I declare, I'm never buying a pair of expensive sunglasses ever again.  I always lose them, so why spend so much money on them?  I found a pretty darned good pair at Wal-Mart today.  They're polarized and give me the world in rose color.  That's a bit o' all right.

My last pair of expensive ones I lost on Wednesday.  We were part of a search party looking for a man who's gone missing.  It's awful sad.  The sheriff was there and people on horseback were there, and people to search on foot were there.  We didn't find him.  I hope he's found soon so his wife and family can have some peace about it.  When at first we were looking I felt like it was doable, but after a couple hours you realize you'd have to walk right upon him to find him.  The desert is so big.  I wished I had the eyes of the birds soaring on the winds overhead.  Could they see what we're looking for.  Do they know where he is?

Selena's going to meet me at the dance studio.  Well, it's a yoga studio I'm using for dance, and I'm going to test out my moves on her.  She gets off work at 4:00pm.  My quads are so sore.  Yesterday it hurt just to sit down.  Not that I sit on my quads, but I do use them to lower myself down to el sofa.  Better just to fall on the sofa then you don't need to engage the quads at all.

None of my pants are tight anymore.  It must be the Zumba.

Being married

Being married gives you someone to blame.  Here's the thing.  Awhile back I left my phone in my pants and it got washed with the laundry.  About two months ago I started going to the laundromat with my husband so he can get the folding done faster (he hates folding the whites) but at the time of my cell phone wash incident he did the laundry and I was home.  Anyway, it was my fault.  I can see that.  I would have been nice if he'd noticed it in my pocket, but who am I to point fingers.  I did leave it in my own pants pocket. 

Now he washed his phone in the pocket of his pants and it's my fault.  I don't know how that works!

We plan to move to our rental house at end of August.  Far sooner than expected!  We will have our own washer and dryer there.  Oooh la la.  No.  More.  Laundromat.

Oh my

I typed a lot on the topic of apologetics.  Accidentally deleted it so I did a quick Control Z to to undo.  Evidently I did the Control Z one too many times.  I undid myself to a blank page.

Now to calmly walk away from this computer.

Summer break

Gave our son the next two weeks off from homeschooling. He got a job too. Today he earned twenty bucks. He's working tomorrow too. He's a server and a dishwasher and a plate preparer. Today was not very busy for him though. I think Saturday will be far busier. School starts here in New Mexico on August 16 so families will all have a last fling for the summer and will spend money on burgers and such. They wanted him to work Friday, Saturday and Sunday, but I said no to Sunday because he needs to attend church. He complained bitterly and I said, well, how do you think you got this job? God brought you to it so don't you be complaining. God gave you a good brain and strong arms and legs. God provides us with opportunity. Don't you complain. We go to church once a week to get refreshed in order to face the next six days. Don't you complain! My husband supported me too! Three days of work is too much for a 13 year old anyway. I wager he'll thank me for insisting that two days is enough.

Some people say how can they get to church on Sunday when they have so much to do. Or they're so tired. I say how can I not go to church when I have things to do or when I'm tired. Even when I have the blahs I go on Sunday. If I have something major coming up I need time in God's house before I go on. Nine times out of ten I feel better, refreshed, invigorated, stronger afterward. But I have the unction of the Holy Spirit. It pushes me. I read about unction in one of John's epistles. Epistle is a fancy word for a letter. When he was old, John, one of the apostles of Jesus, wrote three letters to Christians everywhere round about 90 A.D. He wrote the three letters called First John, Second John, and Third John, plus he wrote the Gospel of John. Plus what else? He wrote the book of Revelation. That's why he's also known as John the Revelator.

Unction is a compelling force within you from the Holy Spirit and is mentioned in 1John 2:20. I'm sure I must have unction. I can't stop myself and people get tired of me. I wish I had a little Bible group to go to.

Washed my hair and it's nice and soft. I brushed Bella and Nike a little, but not enough. I think we're going to Cruces tomorrow. I can't think of anything I need. There are so many stores there. I should want something but I can't think of anything.

I went through my Zumba playlist and danced the songs I know. I've had several people ask me when classes will start and I have to tell them I'm not ready. I'm trying not to get a complex about it. I love that people are excited and asking but I think people do not realize how much memorization it requires. I have nine more routines to memorize. After my workshop on the 17th I decided to try to learn them simultaneously but I don't think it's working. I'm going to go back to learning one at a time; the method that is tried and true for me. In the past two weeks I've really only learned one routine thoroughly all the way through. The others I know bits of and what use is a bit. I could dance them over and over and if I don't learn the entire thing, a bit is not going to help. Not one bit. Meh.

What was Jesus' last commandment? The Great Commission. Which prophet is the only prophet who knew God face to face. Moses. I read the Song of Moses in Exodus all morning this morning.

Newspaper poem

A long time ago I found this poem in the newspaper. I was the ripe old age of 21 or so - tired and worn from living life too fast and all wrong. I carried it in my wallet for years - wrinkled and frayed. It still resonates with me. It's such a sad poem though. It came to my mind tonight. I love my husband so much. I need him. Like air.

Today he was angry because the washer keeps leaking after he fixes it. And he's sore from working on the sites. The big monsoon rains have washed sand over all the sites and roads. Four inches covering the cement! He dislikes the hot weather. The propane wasn't firing up for some reason and he had to change them out at 6:00am to get hot water. We almost lost a long thank you note our son wrote then we found it and accused each other of misplacing it! I'm sure he did it. I should just say I did it because he's the one who will mail them. He always goes to the post office and I don't. He's so punctual and always does the right thing. I don't know how we ended up together. I'm so opposite of him.

He took a shower and chilled out a bit. He's fast asleep now. He falls asleep in two and a half minutes. How does he do that? I lie there for hours and he snores like bear. He tells me it's his clear conscience that makes him sleep so well. Me, my conscience is going full speed ahead 24 hours a day. When I was a kid even if I wasn't guilty I looked guilty. I suffer so! Ruminations. They serve no useful purpose. My iPod pushes them away though. Works pretty good. I listen to my music - lately my Zumba routines. But then when I really want to sleep I change to a sermon my pastor gave a few years ago. I've listened to the same one so many times I can probably give parts of that sermon myself.


After A While
©1971 Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman,
not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.

After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn...

Lost

Last night I dreamt I was lost in Nebraska.  It was a long bad dream.  I woke up at 10:30am.  That's late even for me.  I just couldn't get out of Nebraska.  Couldn't get to a phone.  Didn't have change and even if I did I didn't know what number to call.  (Cell phones don't exist in my dreamworld.)  Didn't know my address.  Didn't have a car.  Kept looking in my purse to no avail.  I do need a new purse.  It's a very boho purse but I've worn the strap out.  In my dream my purse was my purse.  I guess I like my purse so it exists unchanged in my dream.  Hate cell phones so they are evicted from my dreams.

Found a studio

I met with a studio owner last night and we talked about Zumba.  She's very enthusiastic and she and her husband want to take the class too.  She's a nurse and a yoga teacher.  Very earthy - just a perfect specimen of people in this community.

So.  Best news of the day, I can afford it.  I was so happy!  I can use her space for $10 bucks an hour.  I can swing that.  She showed me the sound system.  Zumba instructor class stressed that a good sound system is imperative.  Well, it has fantastic sound, excellent booming bass, and gets plenty loud.

My latest plan is to do no routines in the first two demo class.  Instead I'll make them strictly how to do the steps of merengue, salsa, cumbia and reggaeton dances so students will have an actual vocabulary to build on.  This will do away with the mystery of the unknown for some people.  Hopefully it will make it more inviting to more people because being such a small town I need as many people as possible to feel comfortable enough to try a class.  Let's see.  I'll set up one free class during the week and one free class on a Saturday.  Yes, that's what I'll do.

I get to practice in the studio today!  It's a small one but it has mirrors.

The girls saw the farrier this morning.  They both did very well and stood quietly for the most part.  I didn't get to be there to watch, but son and husband said they like this farrier very much.  He didn't even charge us for Bella's feet because she didn't need much done.  Guess he had a good sense of humor.  Farrier work is extremely physical, back breaking work, and can be dangerous as well.  Farriers can get kicked and bitten and I saw a really bad bite on a man's back on a web site once. He talked to the horses a lot and to our son.  He told our son that if he learns how to do the work and wants to be an apprentice and do it as a job he'll see about getting him into a good mental hospital.  Haha! 

WSJ link

A link.  I usually end up deleting them later because they tend to disappear.  This one brought tears to my eyes.  Trust not the media, right or left.  Question.  Look deeper.  Seek details.  Don't just swallow it hook, line, and sinker.  I did, and so did a lot of other people.   

"Shirley Sherrod's speech, and her story, has lessons for us all."
"The Power of Redemption" written by Peggy Noonan.

I'm going to give it as a reading assignment to our son.

The girls

Got up early to go feed the girls.  We're calling Nike and Bella "The Girls" now.  I like saying it.  Winston the Hampshire pig is very happy in his new digs.  My husband says he thinks he saw Winston do a little hippity hop happy dance when he drove up yesterday.

We fed our neighbor's dogs and cats breakfast this morning too.  Son gets paid for it and he loves their dog, Patches.

I was petting Nike on the forehead this morn while she nibbled hay.  Actually, I petted her on the forehead while she was snarfing down hay as fast as she could.  She sneezed.  I said, "Oh bless you Nike," then I look down and see a giant long green horse snot stuck on my leg.  Disgustamundo!

Bella had a big ol' dry wet spot on her right side.  She stunk.  I'm pretty darn sure she's rolled in Nike's pee.  Blech.  She's getting hose rinsed tonight.  I am not brushing pee out.  Eww.

Made an appointment with the farrier to trim their feets on Saturday.

Zumba Licensed

I'm not Zumba certified.  I'm Zumba licensed.  Our teacher explained that certified has, hmm, a bit more prestige when you're out looking for a job.  Obtaining a Zumba license requires eight hours but certification is a lengthier process done through ACE or AFAA and is more expensive.  Additionally, a certified person must complete CPR and First Aid classes.  Many of the Zumba students in the workshop, including me, don't have all that, so we can teach Zumba but not aerobics and all the other stuff that teachers who work in a health club can do.  That's cool with me.  I only wanna teach Zumba.  I do want to get CPR and First Aid training someday. My sister has CPR and she said they teach you to do the compressions to the song "Staying Alive."  She said so many people know the song and when they sing in it their head it helps them do the compressions not too fast and not too slow, but just the right speed.  Funny!

The eight hour workshop was brutal.  When we danced it was fun, but man, it was hot.  The daytime temp outside was 115 degrees and inside the gym with 60 people exercising it was stifling hot.  I had hoped they'd have the AC turned way up high but they didn't.  Everyone was a limp little leaf.  Except for the teacher, Vanessa Lupercio.  She's a tiny little thing, about 4'10", and she was non-stop energy.  She worked 12 years as fitness instruction for the National Guard.  I don't know where she gets all her energy.  I liked her a lot.  She'd demonstrate the steps, and say okay let's do it.  We'd do it and stand there completely worn out and she'd say, "I love you."  It would make us laugh because even though we were so hot and miserable we knew she had our best interest at heart.

I had diarrhea before the class because I was all nervous about moving for eight hours.  I know I can do a one hour class but I've never taken any kind of movement class for eight hours.  I took it easy all morning because I'm not a morning person, and dancing before noon is antithesis to the existence of Liliana.  Fortunately, I needed no emergency trips to the bathroom once I got there.  Thank you for that.  By afternoon I was so beat, but somehow during the dance routines I forgot that I was a limp noodle and I was able to put a bit of pop into it.  I said "a bit."  I just wanted to keep up.  There were two or three women older than I, so I wasn't the most ancient artifact there.  Heh. I was at a bit of a disadvantage having had only four Zumba classes and most of the students are taking it regularly.  There was one girl who had had only one Zumba class.  There was was girl (woman) who lost over 50 pounds with Zumba Fitness and she got a free, cute tee shirt.

I notice I'm attracted to all the Reggaeton dances the most.  Reggaeton originates from Jamaica, is most urban, and it's what you'd generally call Latin hip-hop.  I'm surprised that every song I'm most drawn to turns out to be Reggaeton.  Cumbia is super easy and way fun. Salsa, strongly influenced by Cuba, Africa, and Spain, is another we learned, and the fourth we learned is Merengue which is pronounced not like the pie, but like mer-AN-gay.  I like Samba steps very much and was disappointed that Samba in not taught in Basics 1.  You have to take Basics 2 for that rhythm.

Vanessa commented twice on how much she liked my pink top.  Boom chicka boom!

She taught us the Zumba formula so we can create our own dances and be authentically Zumba.  Vanessa said, you can't do all Reggaeton rhythms or it's not Zumba.  Zumba is a combination of international rhythms.  I thought it telling that she said you can't do all Reggaeton.  I suspect a lot of the dancers like the Reggaeton the best.  We had one man in our class.  He was very popular by the end of the class.  He was quiet and seemed nice.

The last thing we did was choreography and though I was dreading it, it turned out to be one of my favorite parts of the class.  We were divided into four groups, each given a piece of a song to dance to.  We had to make up steps and be able to perform them as a group.  When we were all done practicing our parts, we all sat down and Vanessa played the song, a great song called "Fuego" which means fire.  When your group's piece came you had to jump up and dance it all out then sit down, and the next group would jump up and dance and sit down.  It was great fun to see which group would jump up and what steps they made up.  We knew it was the last part of the class so everyone put all their energy into it.  It was fun to do and fun to watch.

I was so happy when she handed me my certification of completion.  Really, really happy.  After lunch (I ate a salad), I had a tummy ache.  I think no matter what I ate I probably would have gotten a stomach ache.  I'm not taking any more classes in Tempe, Arizona, in July!

I have realized that teaching a Zumba classes requires more than I thought.  I mean, just the practice of the choreography is time consuming.  But I need insurance.  What?  No one ever mentioned insurance!  What's up with that?  That's gonna cost me a couple hundred bucks.  I have $170.00 in my account.  I have to figure out how much to charge per class.  I have to figure out how to offer classes - in a session or use packages.  I have to make a sign-in sheet and I need a liability waiver that follows the requirements of this state.  Paperwork.  Records.  Oh my.  No one ever mentioned all this.  And so, that's what I've been researching and thinking and doing since Monday.

I'm meeting tonight with the owner of a studio here in town.  I hope to offer classes at two venues.  One, at the gym, and two, this studio.  I have to print posters and think about advertising so people will know when and where to come.  Suddenly I'm worried about the routines being too hard for some people so I'm picking some easy ones to add.  I'm considering making the very first class free and calling it a "Beginner's Demo."  Yeah, that's an idea.  And I'll break down the moves and do the song twice since everyone will be brand new and probably anxious about if they can do it.  Everyone can do it!  It's way fun.  But I need to convey that.

See.  It's more than jump in and teach a class like I thought I was going do!  How come nobody told me about all this?  I guess that's why there are way more licensed instructors than there are actual classes.  Hmmm.  I think so.

Back by Monday

Gone to Zumba.  I shall return as a certified instructor! 

Myself viewed through 17-year-old eyes

The other day my 17-year-old nephew told my sister she reminded him of me.  She bought and was wearing a new top, a tie-dyed top, for her Zumba class.  I'm a stereotype.

The arachnid

A spider.

I woke up yesterday morning.   I was laying very straight bodied.  Good thing I didn't curl up before I got out of bed.  So I was lying there straight.  I whip the covers off me because I'm going to swing my legs over the side of the bed and pop up to greet the day.  And what do I see?  Beside me?  A giant spider!  Yes, a big one.  Just sitting there.  Beside me.  It was so fast that I didn't even have time to get scared.  He ran toward the head of the bed and disappeared but I didn't see if he went northerly or easterly, and he was clear gone.  Tonight my husband had the light on at about 10pm.  He went to bed at 9pm.  I went in and asked if everything was okay.  He said something was on him and he killed it.  Yeah, like I'm gonna be able to sleep in there tonight now.

I slept outside part of the night last night.  Got bit four times by mosquitoes. One is a bump on my chin and it better go away by Saturday.

One night last winter I was getting ready for bed.  I turned on the light and I was already bending down to take my shoes off and I saw one of these spiders and it was moving like lightning speed.  They are remarkably fast, but crazy thing was I was faster than he was.  I smashed him with a shoe because there was nothing but shoes because I was by the shoes.  My good luck, his bad.

Truth is, I feel bad killing spiders.  I don't like them.  They can't be in my house and they shall die if they are (unless they're a Daddy Long Legs), but I don't like killing them.  I have to kill black widows and brown recluse's because they're dangerous being poisonous.  I like tarantulas.  They don't bite unless they're scared.  I wouldn't want one on me though.  I hate sun spiders most of all.  They horrify me.  Don't google "sun spiders" or you'll see one.  And ants.  I can't bear ants.

It's time for me to go to bed.  Eek!

In-between chapters

I am not really liking this chapter. It's not even an actual chapter. I don't know what it is. Perhaps it's a chapter I'll tear out and forget. I love living in a trailer and traveling. I do not love living in a trailer and staying in one place. But life is what you make it. We'll see what I can do about it.

There is a thing that occurred that lifted me up mightily. I so wanted a drink last week. Ahhh yesss. Just a bit of wine with my steak or a shot of Crown Royale (that be a fine whiskey). Such a craving it was. I gave up drinking last year, not that drinking was ever a thing of great appeal to me, but I indulged regularly thinking it helped me sleep.  I admit I do like the benefit that abstinence affords - that of being above reproach.

I deflected the desire to have a drink.  Sunday came.  I enjoyed the feeling of overcoming fleshly desire for a bit of booze, the hair of the dog as they say.  I raised my hands in praise to the God I love and sang with the congregation about how this is my offering, me, since it's all I really have to give back to the Lord. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpRAOS_rv7w

It gets better too.  Monday was the board meeting on which I am a new member.  It's a faith based organization that provides funds to the needy.  We have to vote on who does and doesn't receive funding.  Do I like it?  I do not like it.  I am not made, not built, for decision-making.  I'm just not.  I had to give my vote on two cases over the phone.  I voted opposite to Helen on one of them.  Helen, who has a soft and big heart.  I hesitated to give my vote at first.  I asked her if can I call her back about it.  Truth is, I was gonna ask my husband what I should do.  Helen, she cracked me up.  She knew what I was thinking.  She said, "I'll put you down for a 'no.'" Haha!  Indeed.  It was what my heart was saying but I never know when to listen to my own heart.

Which is precisely why I need to do this job with the heart of God.  I cannot do it myself.  I am not made for it.   My heart is not a big as Helen's.  She drops at the sight of a 19 year old pregnant unmarried girl asking for help.  It's not that I don't feel pity for the girl.  I feel it for the unborn child much more.  But as I see it, it's my responsibility to follow the rules without error.  Guidelines are great, but what are the rules for dispensing with the government funding.  Do I say gut feeling guided me?  I don't think I can do that with a clear conscience.  My gut feeling.  It's ain't worth much.

So as I voted over the phone, I had other compartments of my brain working simultaneously. I remembered the newest definition I have for "disciple."  I used to define it as "a learner."  Now I define it as a "disciplined follower."  Do I wanna be Christian or do I wanna be just Christianish?  I thought of my walk with Christ and my choice last week not to tip the glass (it would have only bit one second of my time to take a quick drink), and wow, it's like an outside expression of my inside self, of the Christ within me.  This decision and my future decisions, which now potentially touches the lives of others, will be of God, not only of me.

My outside self and my inside self are in sync.  It's good.

Husband just got home!  He brought good news.  We're moving animals today.  We have to eat and go right away!

Finally

Finally got my Zumba email for next Saturday. Bring two extra sets of clothing it says so you don't have to sit in cold, wet clothing. Oh and bring your credit card. You can opt to sign up with the ZIN network for $30 and $30 per month and you'll get nine songs and choreographies for free! Um, where's the free part again?

The tone of the class and Zumba in general always reminds me of EST (Erhard Seminars Training) that was so popular in the early '80s. My friend wanted me to go. All I needed was to come up with $425.00 and he was all positive and hyped up that I could do it. I was barely off welfare, raising a baby by myself, and earning a smidge above minimum wage. Idiot. I told him no way.

Not a fan of the screaming and yelling during a class. Methinks there's going to be some yelling. Liliana does not yell. Maybe one whoop, but no yelling. I have my warm-up almost memorized. The rest of the songs I use I think will be from Zumba, Inc. They have some very fun songs.

A day

Talked to my dad. Had a nice talk about a lot of nothing.

My men are gone right now.

Guess I'll go get dressed.

The phone I want

I found the phone I want whenever we get a land line again. Or, if ever we get a land line. A pink phone.

And just in case I can't find one I have a back-up phone that I like.

Secretly sick

There was a big online photo entry contest for the state of New Mexico. I have tons of New Mexico birds, critters, sunsets, rainbows, landscape, moon, and a few aren't half bad. I looked at the site and checked the end date and figured since my computer crashed and the photos are all on the external hard drive, and I'd have to search through them, I'd do it later. It was free submission - no cost. I didn't even look for what the prize was because I assumed (what's that saying about assuming?) that free submission meant the prize was no big.

I remembered the end date was June 29th. Slight error in depending on my own memory bank which is usually depleted. I went back on June 28th. Found out the end date was June 27th. A professional photographer guy here in town won and not to be negative, but it was a photo of some plain old rocks. Seriously.

Now my cameras are both packed full of photos and I haven't got the energy in my arms to download them. Not only that. I just assumed the winner got published and that's that. No, the winner got a $10,000 cash award prize. I would have known about it if I had bothered to read further on the site. Second, third, and fourth place prizes wouldn't have hurt either. That's when the sickness set in.

Man, I'm such a stoop. I think this calls one one huge, gigantic, ginormous, monumental rationalization. I need a good one. Okay. Got it. I say he would have won no matter what because he's got a fairly well known name and likely has connections and often the judges are very subjective anyways. That's what I'll say to myself.

Pretty pathetic. And I'm not much comforted either. At least no one knows how bummed I really am. I need that flashie thingie from the movie "Men In Black" to erase this awful memory. But then, I might make the same mistake again. Okay, I'll keep the memory and be smarter next time, or a least more punctual when there's something I should attend to right away. Yes.

Starting, starting, starting. . . tomorrow!

(I had two lovely comments, and a funny one from Jules, but I clicked something wrong and they're gone. I'm sorry.)

Almost done

Just finished working lunch break at the Visitor's Center. It's crazy. It's a steady influx of cars and trailers. I didn't make any boo-boos so it's another good day. I decided to drink decaf tea instead of coffee this morning and it helped. I still had a stomach ache at the start of the hour, but once I was working I forgot about it. Husband talked with Mona, the beautiful Mona, and she says she thinks after 6:00 we don't need to direct traffic. We're schedule for 5pm to 9pm. I hope we get dismissed at 6pm! I think we will because everyone can come in for free for the fireworks after 6pm. That's mighty nice of the state and the Friends community group to put on such a spectacular fireworks show and let people enter the park for free.

Working

Work went fine today. It was one hour in the Visitor's Center and two hours directing traffic. I was lucky that at 3pm the sun was making a wee bit of shade for me next to the building. I stood with my back slick against the wall to try to be in its shade. I had one person go through and I think she didn't pay. I think she had a blank receipt in her window and she was hoping I couldn't read it from as far away as I was. I let her go through because it's not like I could leave the gate open and walk to the other side of the lane. The other person who was almost a problem was in a motorhome and decided he was going to have a conversation with me. I told him he's blocking the emergency lane and please pull to the side and get out and go in the Visitor's Center. He was very nice and understanding, so it wasn't a bad experience. It was hot though. My ears went weird. It was like they were stuffy and when I talked I could hear myself very loudly in my head. I wonder if it was the heat. Anyway, it was a bummer. Took an hour to go away after we got home. Tomorrow will be the busiest day.

In the Visitor's Center I so don't want to make a mistake. I told the gal from Santa Fe that I'm better at the window than the counter and she let me work the window. I like her. But I'm such a nervous Nellie. My hands shake a tiny bit and I'm sure she noticed because she asked me if I'm okay. "Oh I'm fine," I said. She probably thinks I'm on meds. No, I'm not on meds. It's the natural me.

The other volunteers who worked a different kiosk are upset. They came up $64.00 short. I've never come up short to date. I take the cash, say out loud the amount charged and the amount the customer gives me, set it on the register, give them their change, and then I place the money in the drawer only after they see their change so if they argue with me I can show them the cash they handed me.

The boys in the kiosk today were young. Hired for the summer months. An employee came in and told them to look sharp because the director of state parks (the entire state) was here. One kid said he didn't care. Said he wasn't trying to impress anyone. What a shame. You never know when you may make an impression and it could work in your favor in the future. One boy said to the other, "I'll be back. I gotta take a p*ss break." They knew I'm standing right by the open window. Yuck. He also made a big sound like an old man and spit. I was quite grossed out. The other boy sloshed water in his mouth and spit it out. I don't know why and I don't want to know why. Suffice to say, I'm unimpressed by the local boys. The employee pool here is pretty shallow. I daresay they both lack motivation, initiative, and drive, and I predict they will not go far. Pity the girls who marry them. My husband says men aren't supposed to spit when women are around. I was married to him for 12 years before I ever knew he spit. He only did it when he ran when he was preparing for the LA Marathon. I saw him do it by accident. I was shocked! It's never happened since.

I'm making a disco CD for him. I like researching music. Talk about shallow. My vast knowledge of '70s and '80s music makes me pretty shallow. I used to be so embarrassed that he liked the Bee Gees. I was disdainful of disco. His daughter would slide down real low in the front seat of the car so no one would see her with him when he listened to the Bee Gees. Haha! Strange thing has happened in 30 years. The Bee Gees and Donna Summer songs made me smile. What's up with that.

I also downloaded "You Dropped A Bomb On Me" by The Gap Band. It so reminds me of dancing in 1983 at 94th Aero Squadron before I was married. Used to go with Lisa and Mary. Lisa was my friend until I met my husband. It was so weird. When I was single and sad she was a great friend, but when I met a really good guy she kicked me to the curb. I should think she would have been happy for me, but she stopped being my friend. She and Mary and I were room mates. I moved out soon after and that was the end of that.

Traffic control

Tomorrow we do four hours of traffic control from 5pm to 9pm. Not looking forward to it, but at least we won't be in the hot sun. Monday is 4th of July. We worked the Visitor's Center for an hour today. It wasn't too bad. We didn't get backed up. We're expecting well over 100,000 visitors for the week-end. They're already here some of them. Our loop is full and the shoreline is filling up. There was a car crash in the park today, but people weren't hurt.

My bellydance friend phoned me today and invited me to El Paso to watch her perform and do some workshops. I'm not going to go. I feel badly about the other girl who would share a room with us. She's a beautiful and talented dancer. Her father a Baptist minister. Something about her aches my heart.  Is it the Holy Spirit?

I think she sells her body, that is, she sells her self. They think poor little Lil is blind. It's the body the men want, but the self gets taken in the bargain. One can say she keeps her self separate, but it's a slow death of the heart. The money and the travel she finds irresistible. I think she cannot be paid enough for the part of her inside self that's getting ruined. And children are not dumb. Sooner or later they know what their mother is doing. It's not a good living. It's a bad living. Pretty it up with expensive clothes and exotic places for a season. One day you wake up older and still alone in your parent's home.

Me. I'd rather be a secretary making minimum wage eating Rosarita Refrieds every night and take care of myself.

A finding

I find that when I go to sleep at night I'm very comforted by the feeling of my iPod in my hand. I always keep it right under my pillow so I can feel around and find it, in the dark, without ever waking up my husband. Last night I didn't even need to put my ear pods in my ears. Are they called ear pods. The ear thingies. I didn't even put them in. I was holding my iPod, my pillow all soft and puffy around my head, my blankets tucked under my chin just right, and I drifted off into a sweet sleep. I said my prayers but didn't finish with "in the name of Jesus." I popped awake and added a few more people and told God these are all together in one batch even though I went to sleep for a few minutes in between, in the name of Jesus, your precious Son, amen. Then I slept all night. I slumbered which is to be dormant or quiescent. This is a good thing for the insomniac, which I hate to use that word, so rather let me say, when you're a night owl.

Pizza

I ordered a pizza for dinner. Went to pick it up and they said they had no order for me. I was a little bent out of shape because we were hungry. They asked if I ordered it from their store and I said, Well, of course I did.

Then I sat down and thought for a minute. Looked at my phoney-phone-phone. Looked up the numbaroo I dialed. I guess I put the number for Pizza Hut in my phone when we were visiting California. Ordered a pizza two states away. Whoopsie! I didn't pick it up either!

A day

Miss him. He's gone to 4-H Pig School. I've been looking forward to him being gone so we could be free. Now he's gone and I'm somewhat miserable. What's this? A crack in my exterior?

Guess I'll hem my pants. I got some new tops. Here's one. I got the pink one. It's superly, duperly cute. I hope it washes well. I bought everything in a size large which is inch-wise one size too big, but everything fit. Some of the reviews said to buy one size up. I like those reviews. Sometimes they're pretty helpful. A lot of the dancewear does run small. If you have any actual curves you may burst the seams. I might cut off the sleeve ribbon. It's actually cute, but may be too muchy cutie for me. I do like off the shoulder stuff. Selena schooled me on a bunch of fashion tips and she said the fashion mag informed her that my build looks best in off the shoulder garments.

Saw about a dozen baby quail yesterday. A big batch.

I'm a little homesick and I'm the one at home.

I deleted the "Rockstar" by Prima J song from my list. Well, might keep the song because it cracks me up, but turned out the video is too jumpy for me. . . . Not in favor of the jumping.

The Sweetest Sound

My husband laughing while talking on the phone with our eldest son.

Also,

Baby Liliana's laugh.

Next song

The next song I'm adding is Rockstar by Prima J. I should probably not link to it because YouTube videos have a way of disappearing. Anyhoo, it has a very cute beat and the words are just terrible. Not profane, but it's about two highly conceited girls who think they're models and gorgeous and that everyone is looking at them. Like Grama says, these are things you shouldn't say about yourself. You should let other people say them about you.

I'm going to use it in the beginning as a warm-up. I think it's cute and very easy. I've been wasting billions of minutes trying to find a converter, a free one, that will convert iTunes songs to WAV format so that I can do a radio edit. I thought this song said, "Oh my God" in it, and I was going to reverse God to say dog. Heh. But wonder of wonders. I checked two different sets of lyrics on YouTube and listened over and over, and I'm sure they're not saying "Oh my God." I couldn't believe it. All this time I've wasted thinking I needed to edit it.

A mere 15 minutes

I have all of 15 minutes of Zumba songs memorized.  I have 45 minutes to go.  Ohmygosh.  It's taken me a month to memorize this much.  I have to go faster.

In college I had nearly enough dance credits to minor in dance.  One class stopped me.  Choreography.  I was afraid to take choreography.  You had to audition students, pick music, create choreography, teach it, and see it performed in the once yearly Student Dance Concert. The college had a very good dance department and they still give performances, to this day, to a full house. How I wish I had expressed my fear with someone who could have encouraged me.  I was too quiet though.  Twenty-five years later I have the opportunity to do what I was too chicken to do back then. 

"If you can hear the inaudible, think the unthinkable, see the invisible, believe the incredible, you can do the impossible."  

In the Zumba class I know we're going to break up into groups of four and each student must come up with choreography to a song.  I can see that it is potentially fun because it's cool to see how differently each person interprets music with their body, but it's, it's, it's. . . . choreography.

"If you can hear the inaudible, think the unthinkable, see the invisible, believe the incredible, you can do the impossible." 

I once attended a cattle call for dancers at Disneyland in L.A. A cattle call is when anyone is welcome to apply. I danced woefully badly because one of the qualities needed for professional success as a dancer is to pick up dance steps quickly. I never did pick up steps quickly. I can learn them well. I can make them my own. But I need time and I have never been able to do it fast. Man, we danced across this mondo humongous auditorium and let me say this about that - the walk back to my seat after a very public failure was the farthest, longest walk of my life.

After I get 60 minutes of songs memorized I'll have a base to add to and change around. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.

Get well!

I think of April and wonder how she is.  She has the best care possible and I pray the Great Physician heals her perfectly and completely.  The angel said to Mary, "With God, ALL things are possible." I can hear him, Gabriel, in my head.

"If you can hear the inaudible, think the unthinkable, see the invisible, believe the incredible, you can do the impossible." 

Oooh.  That's just a saying, but I heard that too.  In my head.  It's in a big, strong voice.  I've been yelling like a Marine, "SIR.  Yes, SIR!"  this evening.  I might be annoying my husband with it a little. I hope none of the neighbors complain.  Maybe that's why everything is in a big, strong voice tonight.

I feel happy now!

Get well, April.  Don't take too many meds (I know you won't).  Walk around when you can.  Drink.  Eat fruit.  Sit outside if it's nice.  Dream good dreams.  Put your faith in the Lord.  He has good plans for you. Hear it?  Jeremiah 29:11---> "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Yeah.  I'll take some of that too!

I short. I'm SHORT.

I signed up at the gym last night and thought they were having aerobics but it was yoga.  It was a great class.  My abs are sore today. I was the only student.  When I was attending a year ago the gym was busier.  I wonder where everyone went.  They only have aerobics once a week now.  Mondays.  Step aerobics.  I'm going to go and not use the step.  The step slowly kills my feet and knees. It doesn't happen right away.  It's subtle.  Devious.  Once it hurts then it hurts for months.

Got my new pants yesterday.  Rushed to try them on and was so disappointed that I didn't look like the model.  Unfortunately, a 5'1" person cannot look like a 5'9" person in pants.  My husband loved them on me, but I was a little blue.  They're hipster pants and they go only 1.5" or 2" below my belly button.  That model had miles and miles of tummy showing below her belly button and looked so pretty.  Not that I planned on wearing a crop top and showing my tum, but all my tops are long.  In fact the fashion is long tops so all of mine completely cover up the detailing at the waist.  I may as well be wearing plain black pants and save a lot of money if the pink and white and the drawstring doesn't show.

I shopped last night online for a shorter top and found a couple possibilities.  I neatly folded the pants the way they came, using the same creases, and put them back in their package thinking 50/50 I might return them today.  They are very well made and the supplex/lycra fabric has absolutely fantastic holding power.  I wondered how those girls keep their behinds from shaking like jello.  It's the pants!  The pants make you look really firm.  I need pants like this for my entire body.

But during the night, my great thinking time, I got a bright idea.  I remember the girls in dance would bunch their shirts up at the side or back and put a band on it.  I put on my pants and tried it with one of my tops and it worked!  Yay.  It doesn't ride up, yet is cute.  Success.  Problem solved.  I still will order a top or two to see if I can get two tops to go with the pants for variety.

Baz Luhrmann says don't read fashion magazines.  They will make you feel ugly.  And take care of your knees he says.  You'll miss them when they're gone.  I never appreciated how important they are till recently. 



Son is taking the semester test for life science.  I hope he does well.

Horse dreams

I'm getting good at grooming Bella. Son gave her a bath about three weeks ago and washed the winter season away and that one bath has made such a difference. When I brush her now I can get the white very white. I brought all my grooming tools home and cleaned them yesterday.

We bought 100 bales of hay for her this week and unloaded them too.  Above is a picture of 100 bales.  I have a bruise on my thigh from trying to carry a bale on my side like Leah. Here I am jogging and Zumba-ing and I was huffing and puffing carrying this hay. Leah wasn't fazed. She wasn't even breathing heavily. Sheesh.

Son has trained Bella so well that when I was washing her foot today she picked it up for me. Sweet little thing, she is.

We'd like, ideally, to buy 80 more bales. Cecilio said that 180 bales would be enough for one year, but I don't think we have a place to store 80 more. That's too bad.

Tonight husband said maybe sometime he will buy me a horse. I was so surprised! Completely surprised. I don't know if it could ever really happen, but it's nice to think it's possible. It gives me nice dreams. I love to think of Bella's body and brushing her. I bought her some fly spray called Endura and I hope it's effective. It should be delivered next week. The flies are so pesky and land on her eyes. I don't like that. She's perfect when I wipe her eyes with a cloth now. It's a part of my grooming routine that she wasn't crazy about at first. She'd swish her head around. Now she stands perfectly.

She's a little depressed though. Her friend, Bailey, and her mom got moved. The pasture is supposed to get planted but the man has still not come to do it. Bella only has mean Dancer next to her and Dancer's baby. Bella and the baby like each other but that darn Dancer has nipped Bella's behind twice now.

I wash Bella's water barrel once or twice a week. As soon as we put her back in her corral area the first thing she does is drink. She loves fresh water. She knows we love her. I cleaned Dancer's two water barrels today too.

I'm going to bed and will dream a dream of my own horse someday. I still haven't gone riding. That's a bit dorky. I'm putting the dreaming ahead of the experiencing. Even if it never happens, we have Bella. Everyone says we spoil her. No, we love her.

Don't think I'll ever be a manager

The other day we were working in the Visitor's Center and a senior couple drove up to the window and asked to purchase an annual day use pass. I was at the window and explained that it will take a few minutes to do this and to avoid causing a back-up at the entrance, please make a u-turn, park, and come inside to buy the pass.

The man made a u-turn all right. He drove up to the window again the wrong way! Whaaat? I look out the window and screamed (not a long scream, a short scream) and hurriedly told him to continue forward, turn left, follow the road and re-enter the park. He drove off, I turned around and said, "Did you just see that?"

My husband rolled his eyes and said, "Oh, you handled that well." He's always Mr. Cool Toes in situations. He's never screamed except for once in 2005 in Alaska in our first trailer when the water suddenly turned ice cold and he was in the shower.

Drivers are crazy! It's a lucky thing there was no oncoming traffic.

4-H

Oh dear.  The mom who was supposed to hand out flyers and take care of publicity for our big 4-H breakfast fundraiser didn't do anything.  She forgot.  This is a bad thing.  We got there this morning at 6:30am and Leah and Kelly were already there.  The kids worked and we moms worked (I worked the least) and earned $20.00 more than was spent on all the breakfast food and plates and cups and stuff.

Eldest son phoned and it was pure joy to talk to him.  His job is going well.  The wife and babies and mom-in-law are doing well.  And I blurted out that I have an apology to give him.  I told him about when he was 12 and he was hungry for lunch and I didn't feel like making him a sandwich, but my husband told me to make one for him.  I did and I did it with a mean, hateful heart, and tossed the peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the table in front of him.  I may have made him cry.  I used to be so bad about preparing food because I never wanted to do it.  Over the years I've improved, thanks be to God who caused me to see myself as I am and also thanks to the example my husband has been.  My husband has always made food with love.  I've tried hard to be more like him in this way.  So tonight I said I was sorry about it and eldest son said, "I'm not scarred, Mom.  I don't even remember it."  He's such a guy! And then he said he's noticed that as people get older and they have time to reflect on the past (and he kindly said, he's not saying that I'm old, haha!) he said they tend to remember the bad memories.  I asked if he got that from his psychology classes and he said, nope, it's just him talking.  It is true.  It's true for me.  I wonder if it's true for others.

Tonight I'm thinking of what Jesus said, “The mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart” (Matt. 12:34).  Confession is no use without repentance.  I don't know if I can take too much of seeing myself as I really am though.

Next week I'm signing up at the gym for yoga and some kind of cardio class.  I have to or else the girly girls at Zumba will hurt me bad!  My two month prep plan was to work-out on my own one month and then join the gym one month before my Zumba class.  I read one student said she thought she was going to leave her bladder on the floor during the certification class.  Hahaha!  Last year when I went to the belly dancing week-end workshop I was working out at the gym and during a killer samba routine I was one of the few students keeping up.  So.  I think I should follow the same plan since it worked once already.  I do jogging every other day.  It's 1.5 mile fast walking (I get lost in my thoughts and slow down way too often), one mile jog, .5 mile walk.  It's brutal every time.  I don't like it one bit, but afterward I feel good.  Accomplished.  

We're back in the 90s and it's beautiful here.

Cute pants I hope

My husband was gone for two days. Everything was fine while he was gone. No emergencies or breakdowns which is good because he took the truck and if there was an emergency I'd have no transportation.  We have good neighbors though. Our son was a great help to me and I told him he reminded me of the character of Travis in one of my favorite books, Old Yeller. When Travis' dad leaves the family to go to Abilene, Travis takes on all of his father's responsibilities and does a good job too. What would I do without him? I don't know. We stayed up late because we couldn't sleep well with husband gone. I accidentally made up a funny voice and couldn't stop using it and made son laugh and laugh till midnight.

We are all together again and it is good.

The graham crackers were calling me from the kitchen cupboard to our bedroom very loudly last night. I lay in bed trying to distract myself by listening to my iPod. Milk said, "Get up and come to the refrigerator.  I'm cold and delicious. Pour a tall glass and have only one graham cracker." My tummy grumbled. Of course the milk knows I never, but never, eat only one graham cracker. I finally fell asleep. Go me!

Ordered a pair of pants for Zumba. I hope they fit well.

A day

There was a huge sandstorm for about an hour yesterday. Husband left the truck windows cracked so sand got all inside the truck. He left the awning down for shade while we were gone to the laundromat so when we got home it was ripped and partly folded. Our front door blew open because someone, who hereby shall remain unnamed but it wasn't me, didn't close the door properly. The air conditioner was running - cooling down the outside world. Husband did considerable yelling.

After I looked everything over and sat down I said, "Well, nothing was stolen. It could be worse." So to me, much relieved, as long as all we did was cool the outside for awhile and rip the awning, why get in an uproar. Repair cost for the awning will cause some pain. But overall, it'll be all right.

The 4-H meeting was pretty good. I need to look up parliamentarian procedures because the kids are supposed to be using parliamentarian procedures and I don't know how to do it, but I know they're not doing it. I need to buy a gavel for our 4-H president. I like him a lot. He's a neat kid. I'm going to have a private talk with one of our boys who laughed and goofed off during Pledge of Allegiance - and he was leading the pledge. I think we should have him do it again and do it right and respectfully. I spoke with a 4-H grama who sat next to me. Her son was in Afghanistan then sent to Iraq where he died during his second tour. She told me he was killed by a roadside bombing. So far from home and love. She didn't cry and I tried not to. So I'm gonna share this with the young man and I believe it'll make an impression on him. During the meeting something came up. I forget what it was now, but I said, "That's anti-American." I wonder if that's why she told me about her boy. I'm a flag waver for sure. Her name is burned on my brain. Sandra. I never remember names, but I'll remember Sandra.

Hot

It's still hot. A little too hot. Inside our trailie we can only keep it in the mid-80s when it gets over 100 outside. They should have built this size trailer with 50 amp, but it only has 30 service. The breaker did trip once yesterday while we were out. Yesterday was a record 104°. It was 104° in 1996. I want to break the record not equal the record. I like hot weather but over 100° is too muchy. Our truck thermometer said 108°. Anyhoo, it's warm again. The week-end was uneventful. Today we're homeschooling and then going to the laundromat at 3:00pm. We have 4-H meeting tonight at 6:00pm.

Zumba routines

Brand new blog category.  I will list the choreography links that I like best and that I'm learning.  This is the result of hours of searching for steps I like.

Normally, I would never have considered getting certified in Zumba because 1) I'm not a natural leader and, 2) living in a rural area would normally make it hard to obtain fresh dance moves.  But if I want to Zumba, and not alone, I will have to be the one to teach it.  Small town and no one else is doing it. 

Praises to YouTube and the wonders of information shared on the internet!  Instructors are only too happy to create and share their wonderful music selections and fun dance steps they've put together. Also, Zumba sends DVDs with new choreography to its members every two months.  These two factors mean that even though there's no dance studio here and the closest city is 70 miles away, I can attend the instructor certification class and then continue learning dances on my own from the Zumba DVDs and the YouTube community.  Way cool.

My favorites:

"Kuliquitaca" by Tony Rosario choreographed by the Merengue Sisters.  Got it memorized and it's my favorite one of all.  Very fun to do. My daughter-in-law speaks Spanish fluently and she said the beginning of the song he speaks of his love for his country and the rest. . . . is gibberish. Cracked me up. I told her I couldn't find any English translation. No wonder.

Tanya's video  This is the most viewed of all Zumba videos.  She's got Latin dance in her blood I'd say and interacts beautifully with her class.  I've memorized the first song, Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie" and almost all of the third song "Mueve La Colita"  The literal translation of colita is "little tail" so it's saying move your little behind.  I'm gonna substitute plain hand clapping for the spanking movement. I think she looks good doing the little spanking part, but the rest of us would look lame. I've seen it done badly and it's pretty sad to see. If you're gonna be cool, be all the way cool, but if you ain't got it, face it. I'm not too proud to admit I am not as cool as Tanya.

Lola's Cumbia Celtica I love to watch the girl to the right of Lola.  Also love her shoes.  Must have the shoes.  The hips in the forward walking section are taking me the longest to learn.  Takes some finesse to get the hips going with the shoulders and take 8 small steps forward all at the same time all in unison.  lol!

Courtney Sajben's choreography for "Say hey, I love you" by Michael Franti.  I heard this song on the radio last week.  Checked to see if anyone used it for Zumba and, voila!, found Courtney's video.  I was attracted to this vid because I like her "Say hey" arm wave and the forward walking "window washing" arm movement.  Cute and cool.

So this is five songs, fast ones.  I need a warm-up, a cool down, plus three more.  They say a one hour Zumba class consists of about ten songs.

I'm finding that, for example in Lola's cumbia, a dance actually requires a bit less energy after I memorize it.  In learning a dance, I expend more energy trying to keep up, correcting myself when I do it wrong, comprehending the movement, and cataloging it in my brain.  Catching up when I've executed the steps wrong takes up energy.

Hot, hot, hot

It's hot.  Outside temp is 96º and it's only noon.  We're hoping our trailie a/c will handle the load okay.  If not, small possibility we'd have to rent a house or apartment for the summer.  I pray it doesn't come to that.

I'm pleased with my new route.  I found that I can take a park trail almost all the way to the city's newly paved multi-use path. I read sand is good to run in, but my ankles like the paved path better.  So.  Asked husband to measure the distance and the path I jogged last night is one mile and the park trail is .5 mile.  That means I walk jogged three miles and of that jogged one mile.  Oooohweee.  For me, that's good.  I waited till the sun was almost down because it'd be crazy to run in the sun.  They have some cute three level water fountains on the path: tall for adults, small for children, and low to the ground for dogs.  Cute!  But they're not turned on yet.

I'm practicing my Zumba routines every day.  I figure it'll give me a head start so I can teach a class as soon as possible after I get certified.  YouTube is a gold mine.  A friend here got a Zumba CD to get ready for when I'm certified and she said she told her friends I'll be teaching.  It kinda pumped me up.  Then even better, whilst I was running the multi-use path yesterday a rig drove by and honked at me.  He did the honkity, honk, honk, HONK HONK, tune.  Well, that inspired me to run the whole mile and hold my stomach in real hard.  I found a very good running bra at Wal-Mart - two for $11.00.  It's better than the more expensive ones I bought at the mall.  My sister told me about them.  She's always telling me about good products.  She's a shopaholic.

Son is out playing at a friend's house.  My husband came home and said the friend said to tell me that he's playing baseball tonight at 7:00pm and I can come take pictures if I want.  Haha!  That's a hint if ever I heard one.  I should go tonight.  He's a sweet kid and I do like him and his family.

Overall, I feel exceedingly well.  Last week was a bad week.  I didn't even realize I was peri-menopausal premenstrual.  Fun combination to be sure.  My husband commented that I was very quiet and I told him it was because I was afraid of what I might say!  It's a little funny now, but last week it wasn't funny.  I can hear somebody chewing and feel like I'm gonna implode and I have to make myself say nothing because nothing nice will come out of my mouth if I let it.

June

June, June, beautiful June.  Summer is my favorite season.

I've decided I hate the software that came with my Panasonic camera.  I can't even delete a photo while viewing it. Asks me if I want to download photos.  Duh, yes I do.  Have to click about four times to close the program.  Do I want to exit?  Duh, yes I want to exit. It's really dumb software.  The software developer should be pilloried.  I'm downloading the Panasonic photos using Windows from now on.

Our friend's daddy died Sunday.  He was in hospice. Our friend is very distressed and has been for some time.  Now he is emotionally distraught I think.  Worn to a frazzle from being primary caregiver, decision maker, a son, an only child.  Both of his folks are gone now.  I feel so bad for him and his family.

A nice geologist died here in the park on Tuesday morning.  They found him lying on the sand.  He had been on our loop and moved to the beach.  He gave a couple army men to our son.  His adult son visited with him the night before.  He passed on so quick and sudden.  None of us can know how long we have here on Earth.  It's the third death for the parks this year - a high number and summer has not even begun.  One man, about in his 50s, fell into the water perhaps of a heart attack.  The last death, a drowning, was one of two young men in a canoe.  The canoe tipped over.  One man made it to shore.  The other didn't - the one who had been drinking.  I'm amazed that alcohol can affect your swimming so much.  I guess it makes them make bad decisions or could it be that he wasn't coordinated enough.  I don't know.  Rangers have to pull the bodies out of the water and one of them took about three weeks to surface.  I don't want to think about that!

My hair is down to 47.5 inches.  Sometimes the knees look close and sometimes they look far.  I'm having to wash much more from sweating so much.  Get sweaty and dirty taking care of Bella and get sweaty from Zumba work-out and or jog/walking in 90+ degree weather.  I found a new song I'm gonna probably use.  It's the "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" rap song.  Too funny.

Matthew says in Matt. 10:16.  "...be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves."  I'm navigating potentially dangerous waters choosing my music for Zumba dance.  I am in the world, but not of it.  My Zumba class will be different from the rest.  No profanity in the lyrics.  No flagrant sexual content.  Wonder if I can slip in a Christian rap song like "Feelin' So Fly" by TobyMac.  Using the kids' slang, that would be really sick.  Hahaha!

It's Memorial Day

Click to enter, then click on "Essay" on the left hand side.  Happy Memorial Day.  Remember to remember those who sacrificed their lives.

Oryoku Maru Online

Work was terrible.  I want to go to bed.  A stupid person crossed over two lanes after I told him go straight ahead to the window.  It was a car with three young guys.  He plugged up the emergency lane and backed up incoming traffic for ten minutes.  He had a credit card and drove over to the cash only window.  Idiot.  It ruined my day.  We were then told not to use the emergency lane unless traffic got very, very backed up because if an emergency vehicle had come it could have ruined someone else's day too.  It was going so smoothly with three lanes to use until that happened.  One stupid person insists on getting in front and he ruins it for everyone entering the park now.

I had no fun.

It's hoppin' here

The tourists are at Wal-Mart.  My husband said there are all kinds of people there. Service was fast though so they must have prepared for it. We've got traffic control today from 1:30pm to 3:30pm.  Other years we've worked traffic three or four hours at a time so two hours will be a breeze.  The sun is out and shining hot though.  The other down side is I have cramps and it's a bad day for cramps. 

Man, there's a lotta people here.  We have a good loop because we get mostly families and mellow people in this area.  The partiers tend to gather on the lake.  Last night was unusual in that we saw sirens three or four times before 11:00pm.  I think it makes visitors aware that law enforcement present and that's a good thing.  We sat outside and could hear whoops of excitement coming from the lake shore.  We heard on the radio that a jet ski broadsided a boat.  I hope there were no serious injuries.  So many people are boating and skiing, fishing and swimming.

I've been on pins and needles thinking about the 180 songs I purchased from iTunes and never backed up.  It's been preying on my mind.  I heard you should back up your songs.  I meant to.  I intended to.  Never did.  I set hope against hope that when I downloaded iTunes on my new cool computer that my songs would magically appear.  But they didn't.  I stared, dumbfounded, at a brand new iTunes interface with three lame songs that came with this Toshiba computer while all my music, lovingly selected, collected and arranged in playlists, sits forever lost in silence and darkness on my dead hard drive.

But I thought, if Apple can move songs from my computer to my iPod, then surely there must exist a way to move the songs from my iPod to my computer.  And there is.  I spent three hours last night transferring them. Found free software recommended CNET to do it for me.  I could have spent twenty bucks and done in all one click, but I chose the free way which only let me do ten songs at a time.  I transferred 377, my 180 purchased, plus others.  It is a job . . . . done. 

I have an energy deficit today.  My mouse hand is sore and there's a herpes blister on my lip still which upset me because earlier in the week when I worked in the front office and I had to greet everyone with a swollen lip.  It's scabbed over but it still hurts.  Most unfair.

I'm having second thoughts about homeschooling for high school.  He's going into eighth next year.  I have to think what our options are.

Thursday

It's not too busy yet, but it's picking up.  I volunteered in the office for four hours yesterday morning.  Came home and took a three hour nap.  I was whipped!  Today I do 3 1/2 hours in the office in the afternoon.  I like being in the office and I like the ladies there.

My arm is sore because I asked Mona for something to do in between phone calls.  She gave me 40 bank cash holder bags and told me to find the Clorox wipes and wipe them clean.  Some of them were pretty gross and I had to use elbow grease.  I'm averse to elbow grease.  I'd rather answer phones, but I faked it pretty good.  Oh I'm so tough as nails.  My husband called me wimpy just now.  Sadly, it's true.  I'm all girly-fied.

Quit Facebook Day

Our son told me that yesterday Leo Laporte said Facebook is evil.  I can't believe it!  He's the tech guy on the radio we like to listen to.  But the thing is, it's so me that he said it's evil!  I asked our son, did he use that very word?  Evil?  Because when I think something is evil I say it's evil.  Freaks people out though.  Yes, he did say it, said my boy.

QuitFacebookDay.com coming up May 31, 2010

Only a couple weeks ago our son opted to close down his Facebook page and quit Facebooking altogether.  He's ahead of the curve I think.  I made him use a fake name which some of our friends made fun about.  And I now see, I'm not the only one who felt this way.  I'm not alone!

I asked him, "Why did you quit?" and he said every time he turned on his computer he went to Facebook first.  He said he thought it was a waste of his time and he didn't want to do it anymore.  

When he wanted to try Facebooking I didn't say no because that would only make it more enticing.  So he started up a page and got a few friends.  But I told him straight up from the git-go.  I said if you wanna see Grama, don't you dare go look at her Facebook page and stare at the computer screen, post a sentence or two and tell her to look at your pictures.  My arms were all flailing about and I said, "You pick up the phone and you call your Grama.  You can talk about what you've done lately and ask her how she is.  It will make her happy and she'll tell everyone you called her, and you will feel good that you did it."

I'm so proud of him and his decision-making.  I never once encouraged him to close it down, but he did hear me yammering about deactivating mine and it must have made him think.  He's been calling and texting his ex-Facebookers and I find it's much more personal than Facebook.  The calls have had a positive effect on the relationships - which is important because he's 13 and he's developing his character.  I like that.

Facebook draws in high click rates because once a visitor logs in they go to more and more pages to see pictures of . . . . other people.  It's like monkeys in a mirror.  See me, me, me, see you, you, you, ooooh ooooh, eeee eeee, ah ah ah.  I know I can say that because I was doing it too for awhile.

But the real reason why I dislike Facebook is because the material I post; my photos, my wrrrds, instantly belong to Facebook.  I do not like that.  Moreover, Facebook blatantly uses its Facebookers.  They've even given out to the advertiser the names or info of Facebookers who clicked on the advertisement.   One must be vigilant to the extreme to constantly ensure you block what you don't want to see, and opt out of this, that, and the other.  But your personal data belongs to them.  It's agreed to it in the Terms of Service.

It's an addictive time waster.  And those 1000 Friends are not friends. 

I've heard there's a way to actually delete my Facebook page instead of just deactivate it.  That too, I found curious.  Any place else, I hit delete and I'm deleted.  I can go through channels to get the data back possibly, but generally delete means it's gone.  At Facebook, delete means deactivate.  Everything is still there.

I have a friend who could care less if Facebook is profiting off of him.  I say then go out and buy some shoes and hats and shirts and pants with brand names stamped on them so you can be a walking advertisement 24/7.

I'm not saying it's all debris.  Some of it could be blessing.  Let's say 5%.   It ain't much.

I have a plain picture of my hair from this morning.  I figure one is due because my current pic is six months old.

Don't look at the white legs.

Analysis:  I'm letting the ends go without taking off a couple inches so I can make more progress.  The ends are not that bad.  They're so-so/okay.  That's my new skirt from Target in San Diego.  My new favorite skirt.  Meh.  What can I add about the hair.  It's hair.

I have to work in the front office Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.  Memorial Day week-end is coming up, one of the busiest times in the park.  AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!  I don't know if I will be any good in the front office.  I'm really worried I can't answer all the questions.  AAAUUUUGGGHHH!

Fresh day

My computer died.  I'm on my new cool Toshiba laptop Satellite A505-S6033. Oh my goodness. It has a 500 gb hard drive and the Intel i7 quad-core processor - the fastest available. I'm happy to the extreme. Usually we buy the second from the best because the best will be second best in six months anyways, but this time I got the number one processor. It's sweet and worth every cent. I've been on a desktop for the past couple years and am blown away that everything I had with the desktop, and more, is in this laptop. My screen is smaller and I'll miss the big one when I'm processing pics and doing more than one thing at a time, but I'll get used to it. I'm a multitasker. It's on my résumé from 15 years ago.  We always laugh about it because I'm so not a multitasker.  Instead, I'm utterly consumed by one thing at a time at the expense of all other things.

I made a considerable error in judgment when all I did was copy my photos.  I'm whining about it now, to no avail. Spent an hour reinstalling Photoshop. Had to phone Panasonic about a Windows 7 patch to make their camera software work properly. Stupidly deleted the email from Canon six months ago that linked me to patches to make their software work. Put my daily devotional CD in storage now I have to find it. Ah well, the bitter comes with the sweet. The reason my desktop quit, we think, is because it needed to be vacuumed out. I burned out the processor says my husband.

Jules, I wrote you, but it got bounced back to me undeliverable. Would you drop me a line please? And if anyone who emailed with me will please drop me a line so I can rebuild my address book the easy way I'd sure appreciate it. You don't have to write a giant email. Just say hi to me so I can do it the easy way and automatically save you to my address book.

I slept outside last night. It was gorgeous. If the wind isn't too bad we're giving Bella her first bath today!

Crashed

My computer crashed yesterday. Horrifying. Son turned on the radio controller for his boat and my machine didn't like it. I was practicing a Zumba choreography, one I had downloaded from YouTube, and suddenly it froze. I froze too. And then my screen got sparklies all over it like a watercolor painting and began to make a beep beep sound that wouldn't stop. I couldn't log off or turn off my computer. I unplugged it.

I waited till my husband got home and we could only turn on the computer in safe mode. Can't do much in safe mode. To make a long boring story of frustration short, we finally got Windows 7 to reinstall late last night and it seems to be working well today. I hope it really is fixed. It acted like it was fixed once and went back to crashing.

First thing I did last night was copy all my photos and vids, 77 gb, onto our external drive. As long as those are saved I can suffer through the loss anything else.

We're gonna buy hay today.

I'm in a little bit of a bad mood because my child is not cooperating like I want him to.