First baby blanket done

I did it! Is it pretty? I think it's pritty pretty. The corners turned out nicely too. Next I'm starting on a pink one for a baby girl. It's a wild pink. One side is fleece kitty cats and I chose a flannel backed satin for the other side and I will add white satin binding like this one.

I had a rather nice day. A good day. For one, when we went to the library I heard a guy across the street say lookitthathair as I got in the truck. Well, it was a old grizzled voice, but I don't care. A compliment is a compliment. Haha! There's a utility company across the street and that's the direction the voice came from. I was embarrassed to turn around. I have to be cool, ya know.

Our son got his free personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut for reaching his reading goal. What a great program - the Bookit Program. He was nonplussed that I got him signed up and set up to participate, but now he's all happy about it. Boys get ripped off in reading at school. I'm proud to say, I taught him to read. He loves Beverly Cleary. In his contract he agreed to read 20 minutes per day and he's read twice that amount. Life is good.

Also on the edumacational front, he has begun his first research paper. I've put it off for two months because he hates writing. He is my extremely reluctant writer. He can talk, he's engaged and engaging, but ask him to write it down? Forget it. So I postponed it till today. Had myself all prepped and pumped and, surprise, surprise, it went well. Exceedingly well. Looks like he's interested in LED lights as a topic. He said, "Mamma, I'm kind of excited about this." Woohoo! I didn't act excited though. I just said, "Well, good." I have to stay cool and psyche him out.

Oh happy day

We drove to Cruces for supplies. I got to spend the whole time at JoAnn's Fabrics. I got all the stuff to make a couple (hopefully cute) baby blankets. Tonight I sewed a mini sized practice blanket with, get this, with mitered corners and it turned out. Yay! Tomorrow I'll sew a real one - size 36"x45". The fabric is light blue fleece with floaty white clouds and I chose white satin binding for the edge. I have a good feeling about it! Third time's the charm they say.

Oh no

Christmas is coming. My second baby blanket turned out, meh, just all right, but it's not very giftable. Maybe I should just send the babies all twenty bucks each and be done.

If I find her

If ever I find the woman who posted the easy peasy baby blanket I will strangle her with my own two hands.

My easy peasy blanket took me two days to make. I finished it. It's now in the trash which is where it belongs.

I'm going to try a different pattern with no stinkin' satin binding. When you sew one side of the binding you having no idea what's happening on the other side. You might be be 1/2" above the bottom of the binding or you might be 1/4" below the edge of the binding missing the binding completely so it's just blowing in the wind unattached. And don't even talk to me about mitered corners.

Trying

I'm trying to sew a baby blanket. It's flannel and I bought pretty satin binding for the edge. The last mitered corner is a bearcat though. I hope I can make it work. I suppose I've spent three hours already on a one hour "easy peasy" sewing project that failed to even mention the last corner is harder to do than the first three.

I decided I will make my dad a rice warmer for his arm that hurts. His ankles hurt sometimes too I think. I had one that I made for myself and I loved how it warmed my frozen feet at night. I will make my dad two maybe. One for his back which he could use pretty much anywhere, and one about 5"x30" for his arm.

Mermayd. She's the one got me goin'. She's made some awesome jewelry gifts. She sent me pics and boy, one of 'em was real shiny and it's still shining in my mind! She's gotten so good at designing necklaces.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Husband is making the mashed potatoes. Son is bouncing off the walls in anticipation. I'm waiting for the water heater to warm up all ten gallons of water so I can wash my hair. I'd planned to go the camp showers today, but a cold north wind blew in during the night. It's 37 degrees outside! Yipes. Yesterday was in the 70s.

1 Thessalonians 5:18. Give thanks in all things.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today I bake a cakes

Bake a cakes? What? I can't talk now?

I have pictures of the cake in question on my November 2006 page. You need to scroll about 1/4 down the page.

I dreamt of Debbie Turner last night. I dreamt I was real ugly with awful swollen lips from cold sores, but she didn't seem to notice I was ugly. I cried in the dream, but can't remember why. Twenty years passed and I dream of her? Will I still miss her when I'm 80 years old? I need memory erasure.

Time to start mixing the cake frosting now.

Ow

My right arm has been achy all day today.

I impressed my husband with my after dinner talk tonight. I'm very pleased with myself. I told him all about Martin Luther and his 95 Theses and I told him how Constantine created Christendom when he made Christianity the official religion. Usually he has no attention span when I talk to him about churchy stuff, but he liked this subject. He ate it up with a spoon. I do too.

My connection is deadly slow tonight for some reason. It's bumming me out.

What am I

There is a study I've wanted to undertake. It's been bouncing around in my mind. Simmering.

The other day my son said he knew we were Christians, but he needed to know what kind of Christian because the neighbors asked and he wasn't sure. Also, I had a conversation with a Hindu and I did not say I was Christian when she gave me some excellent witchcraft tips.

I would have had to blurt it out. I can blurt pretty well, but I tend to prefer that my actions show my faith rather than plainly stating it.

... I'm Christian" or "I'm a Christian." What does that make you think? Well, I tell ya, I've met a lot of them and wasn't impressed by a single one for 20 years. And what about the people who believe in God, but not in Christ. They also call themselves Christian. "Christ" is a pretty key part of the word Christian.

So what am I. What can I say that states my position with more clarity than "Christian?" Christian should be the best word, but it annoys me slightly.

I'm thinking I'll tell my son to say we're disciples of Jesus Christ, Son of God. And that's what I can say to the Hindu person if it comes up again. I'm not sure, I'm just thinking in writing. I want our response to not be with a period at the end. I don't want it to be a dead end. I want our response to elicit interest, curiosity, and possible discussion - even just one question. Once I met a woman who stated she was a Christian then she went on a long rambling monologue about her history of alcoholism and being saved. It was neither inviting nor warm. As I think back, the best way to express it is that it was like a giant regurgitation and she felt better afterwards. I think maybe she intended it to be a testimony, but if so, it did not have the desired effect.

I need to address the denomination question for my son too. We are non-denominational and we attend various churches depending on where we are. Always Protestant. But people want to know what denomination you are, he is, for classification purposes. I like the Charismatics (this is like a lighter flavor of Pentecostals), but I am not convicted regarding all of its beliefs. I like Calvary Chapel's verse by verse teaching, but some regions of the country have no Calvary Chapels (known for its Jesus Freaks back in the day). The Baptists are pretty cool and uniform wherever I go. I love the physical beauty of the Catholic church, but not its paternalism. I have never been in a synagogue, but I'd like to someday. The Seventh Day Adventists sure eat healthy, but I can't do church on Saturday. There are a bunch of churches that I don't even know what their doctrinal distinctives are. Distinctives are what sets your church apart from others. Maybe we're multi-denominational. You can liken it to the old question of what is zero. Is it nothing? If it's nothing, then it must be something, so what is it? Is zero something? Then how can zero equal nothing if it's something. How do we quantify zero.

So is anyone really non-denominational. What denomination was Jesus?

I have known for sometime that something big happened to Christianity somewhere around 300 A.D. Last night I discovered that it had to with the Roman emperor Constantine. He was the first Roman emperor to claim his Christianity. The capital of Rome was even moved and renamed Constantinople after him. It is present day Istanbul.

It was he who instituted the change that created "Christendom." This christendom thing is huge. It changed everything. I think it changed everything to opposite of what Jesus preached and taught.

I have to go to bed now. Tomorrow's a school day. I'm researching more about Christendom and will post it tomorrow. Stuff I need to define for our (planned) lesson:

Christendom
Catholic (which means universal)
Martin Luther
Protestantism
Hey, hey, we can even throw in antidisestablishmentarianism, which he can already spell. :)
Mega churches and seeker-friendly

This is one of the things I absolutely love about homeschooling. We don't have to stick to a standardized curriculum. I need to teach him basically about how the church divided and developed into what it is today.

Really, the people are the church, not buildings.

I'm not so bad

I got happy at belly dance tonight. As you may recall, I felt rather ill about that dern sword falling off my head 80 times last Saturday night. And after that it affected my dancing altogether. Afterwards, at home by myself it was eating little small bites of confidence out of me.

But at class tonight three girls came up to me (grown women, but I say girls for my blog) and gave me compliments on my dancing of Saturday night! One said she couldn't decide whether to watch me or my teacher and so her eyes went back and forth. She said she and her friends talked about it for two days. She said that the costumes made our dance moves even prettier to watch. The best compliment though came from a girl from India. A real Indian girl who is a dancer. She dances folk dances of India and I hear she's very good though I haven't seen her choreography yet. But the thing is, she said my movements were so very feminine and flowing that she was thinking she would like me to dance with her in her Indian style. Boy howdy, I told her I would love to learn her style if she wanted to teach me! She said she's not a good teacher and cannot break down the moves like our Middle Eastern dance teacher does, and I said, "Well, how do you know if you haven't tried teaching it before?" I should have told her I can pick up moves pretty well too. I hope something may come of it. She's young and nice, dainty and petite. She recently finished university here and is now on a work visa. Her husband is still in India until next year and she misses him terribly. He's in the military there. She liked the skirt I was wearing tonight and said it reminds her of her saris at home. She says during the wedding season everyone loves to dress up in India. It reminded me sooo much of Leia because she once wrote about the exact same thing to me in an email! They call it "The Wedding Season." Interesting! We don't dress up much here she said, and I have to agree.

And I thought my teacher almost might cry when she was apologizing about the sword. Evidently the sword was her friend's and she thought it was better than hers is. But even though my teacher's sword is nothing expensive or amazing, I knew how to feel it on my head. Never do a performance with a sword you've never used before. Yeah, I'm an Einstein now! Plus, my teacher expressed to another student that I've been dancing for years and I interrupted and told her, no, I have but eight months of Middle Eastern dance. She was surprised and said she couldn't believe it. Well, I suppose it's actually a left handed compliment to me. So when I left class she asked me if I forgive her and I said of course. I have no hard feelings toward her, only toward myself. Ha! I did tell her no improv for me for awhile. She looked disappointed, but my confidence is a little tattered and I need some time. It all builds character, right? Yes, it does actually.

Anyway, it served to erase, eradicate, delete, deter my bad feelings. I mean, don't you hate those sick, sinking feelings? It's awful. Well, it's really gone now and I'm not just saying that for lip service. Also I learned a good lesson - that as bad as I feel, if I keep moving I am probably not as bad as I think. I thought I stunk completely, but if I break it down I think I did okay when I didn't have that evil sword on my head.

I've been writing about this a lot, I know, but it was a small drama for me. The inward drama being ten times worse than the real thing, huh.

Next performance I'm going to ask my girlfriends to pray for me that I don't flub up. That will give me a special, heavenly boost.

Tomorrow is a brand new day. Isn't that something! Yeah man. A brand new day.

Happy

I was sharp in ballet tonight - for a change! I felt great afterwards. We don't meet next week because of Thanksgiving. Bummer. It was chilly tonight, so finally I got to wear my black knit leggings. I wore my hair in a side braid.

They liked the homemade chicken noodle soup a lot. Their 13 year old said it was addictive. That's a big compliment coming from a picky 13 year old. The husband liked it. And my friend told our son it made her feel better.

Now there's a request for chicken noodle soup on Saturday night from my husband and son. I really had to fend them off yesterday. They were smelling that soup all afternoon and wanted to eat it. I almost had to fight them. I wielded the ladle like a weapon, like a sword, and said "No, no, this isn't for us. It's for someone else!" I got it delivered to the neighbors in the nick of time.

It doesn't get better than this. :)

And I'm wearing my new Eddie Bauer, plaid, pink and cranberry colored, flannel pajamas. My husband picks the cutest stuff. I'm all warm and cuddlebug. I'd have never picked this style. It reminds me of Lucy from I Love Lucy. She had pajamas just like these.

Think I'll have some Nabisco Nilla cookie wafers with milk and hit the hay. Tomorrow is Friday!

I did something good

I did a certain Christian thing that I've never done before. A lady at church had surgery today. She asked me to pray for her and I am. And I made some chicken noodle soup and took it to her family. I'm not too good in the kitchen. My husband does most of the cooking, but I am the queen of chicken soup. I prayed over it as I prepared it. I hope they like it. My husband bought freshly baked sourdough bread to go with it and boy howdy, it's delicious with the bread. He's always thinking! It been proven that chicken soup aids healing. That's science! And who created science. God created science. Chicken soup made with love has purpose.

A long time ago I made a pie and the hostess of the party said my pie must have given everyone a stomach ache. Ever since then I've been totally paranoid about giving homemade food to people. I wrote about the mean lady here, so I won't rehash the event. Anywho, I'm feeling very smug that I courageously cooked chicken noodle soup and delivered it today. It would be so me to cook it and then say, "No, it didn't turn out well enough. We can't deliver it. We have to keep it." But I didn't do that. I followed through. I so much hope they like eating it.

This afternoon I saw the hawk that preys on our quail. It's a Cooper's Hawk I think! I read that they're also called Chicken Hawks. He's a beauty. No quail came around after he swooped by. He flies faster than lightening.

Finally ordered a skirt and veil to go with my cabaret costume. I bought dark purple because my costume, it's called a bedlah which refers to the costume bra and belt that goes around your hips, is purple. I stressed out over lilac or purple and thinking that lilac would draw more attention on stage being light colored, I almost got it. But the purple was the color that really called out to me. I asked our son which I should get because he has a good eye for color and he hardly thought a moment and said, "Purple." It takes six whole weeks for them to deliver it because they custom order it. The fabric, I chose it because it has a remarkable sheen to it. It's called faux silk. I have to think up some sleeves to cover my upper arms. They're not as firm as they once were. I want to attach perhaps purple chiffon bell sleeves to the bra strap. I need a little bit of fabric over the bust too as I want to be appropriately dressed to dance at a family oriented venue. We don't want to see the girls spilling out all over the place now do we. Certainly not! I think it's going to be duperly pretty!

Tomorrow I'm going to definitely worsh my hair and give it some attention. I got two nice comments tonight; one from Kara and one all the way from down under - that would be Jules. I am so fond of the women I've met on the hair board. Kara and Jules have both been there for me when I was unsettled by church and religion issues, or looking for an answer, or worried.

It's important to have reliable people you can reach out to when you have no one to talk to.

Bike riding

I rode my bike a whopping three miles yesterday and again today. My favorite part is the downhill part and going over the speedbumps! I did some belly dance drills afterwards. Then I had to make steamed rice to go with the salmon my husband barbecued. I have a song I might use to choreograph a sword dance. Practice sword dancing, that is. My teacher suggested the song and I think it'll work great. Speaking of my teacher...

I may have forgotten to mention that I danced downtown with my teacher and another tribe on Saturday night. As a result, I've learned that improv is not for me. No, no, no, no more improv for me to songs I don't know. When I danced in Southern California it was choreographed. I can memorize a dance. I am not so good at making up my moves as I go along. So. My teacher told me to dance with a sword on my head too, only I don't have a sword. I've practiced with hers for a couple classes and that's the sum of it. I enjoy using her sword and I balanced it pretty well if doing simple moves. Once I even got down to my knees and up again without dropping it. I was so thrilled. I practice at home with books on my head.

Well, I should have practiced my freedom of speech, but I'm lame and quiet. I gave her a look of petrified fear and she said, "You can do it." And she gave me not her sword, but a different sword that I've never even seen before. That should have set off the alarms, right? It did for me, but not her. But I still didn't say no.

Sigh. I went out with her and did it and that thing slid off my head about 80 times. It was a six minute song. Geez. It seemed to last forever. On the up side, it's a teeny town, I saw no one I knew, and the small crowd was really nice. I never dropped it, it just wouldn't stay. Then after the dance she told me she put wax on her sword to help it stay on her head. What!? I am never doing improv with her again. My ego was bruised, you can be sure of that, but I'm better now. It's funny because I never felt like crying, I was just upset. Truthfully, what upset me most was dancing poorly in front of the other dancers. It's just a darn good thing that I already performed a couple times because if that had been my first time I'd have been thoroughly discouraged from performing.

I did see one friend, Judy. She missed my dancing, but saw me afterwards and we chatted. She liked my costume and I told her I danced badly, so I'm glad she didn't see me. She wouldn't believe me and said she was going to tell everyone I was awesome. She lifted my spirits. Sure enough, she saw my husband at the market a couple days later and told him I was great. She was my angel that night.

Yum

Last night our son made me hor'dourves when I got home. They were delicious! He made eight. All lined up neatly on the cutting board, Ritz crackers with jack cheese and a small piece of ham. I love seeing him working in the kitchen. He was so solicitous. "Mamma," he said, "Here they are and if you want some more just let me know and I'll make them."

My looking glass

Like Romper Room. I look through my looking glass and who do I see? My mom! Aaaaahhhh!

Hi (((Mom))). I'm not colicky anymore, but I'm still a pain to have around, eh? Heh. Sorry about that!

Already

Tomorrow is Friday already? I can't believe it. We have a volunteer meeting at 10:00am tomorrow. Why is the meeting so early?

Scimitar ordered

I did it. I finally chose a sword. Technically, I ordered a scimitar not a sword. A top of the line sword is about $200.00. Since I'm a beginner I shopped for a cheaper one. I considered a Saroyan which is very high quality, but I couldn't believe they have a no return policy on their swords. I emailed and inquired about their return policy and got a snooty reply. Marge told me if I want a trial period to buy a sword from somewhere else. I don't want a stinkin' trial period. If I don't like it I want to be able to get my money back. She said they've never had a dissatisfied customer in 35 years and have more business than they can handle. Yeah, I'll take my money somewhere all right. She can count on it. I went down to their shop when I lived nearby and bought my zills. Nice zills, nice guy, but whomever answers their email could use a lesson in customer service. We make all kinds of online purchases from desktop computer to beads. I would never order anything that has a no return policy!

So back to my scimitar. It's a scary looking one so I can't wait to take a picture of me with it to show my mother. Haha! It's unsharpened, but you still have to be cautious. Drop the tip of it on your toe and you'll have one less toe to worry about. The only unfortunate part is it's on backorder. Huge bummer, but it should come in this month they say. Their customer service was prompt. Ideally, I wanted one with the fancy scrolled engraving, but plain will do. It's a very sexy scimitar!

What kind of dove again?

My mom wrote me an email. She makes me laugh. And at the end she called me her little turdle dove. I am not quite sure how I should interpret that. Haha! She must be in an awfully good mood today.

I wrote my daughter-in-law. Finally. I've owed her an email for well-nigh a month. My eldest quit writing in the summer. I don't know why except he wants me to call and I don't like to call and I want him to email and he doesn't like to email. We are betwixt and between. Where is all this Middle English coming from tonight. I miss him sometimes. When he falls on my mind I accidentally call my youngest son by my oldest son's name. That's how I always know for sure he's on my mind. I miss him.

Time change

I was up at the crack of 8:30am because of the time change! Yay! We started our homeschool day early.

Oh

Sunday was terrible. I don't care to watch football. I sit statue-still and writhe. Try to blend, smile on cue. An emotional amalgamation of myself. Took a Tylenol PM because I don't want to start a stay awake trend. Rumination is a waste of precious time.

So Monday I was blue all day. Couldn't shake it. Gives me those bad feelings inside and I want it to go away. Sad to feel my old self in my new town. Too bad, so sad. I hate to disappoint my husband. We all went to Cruces and I ate a really bad burrito. Husband ordered me pajamas that are way, way too expensive. I could buy a whole belly dance costume for that much. I shall have warm cotton flannel pajamas instead. Oh.

And when we got home I browsed online for costumes. Then I felt much improved! Well, it was after the pajama ordering too. :)

I'm learning a Middle Eastern folkloric dance. It's cute and happy and upbeat, but I don't have the right costume yet. I'm not quite sure what kind I need. My only complete costume is American Tribal Style and that won't be right for the dance at all.

Son made fresh squeezed lemonade this evening and it was delicious. It puckered us up. Me especially. It's very good for your body. Lemonade from real lemons.

The other day he was riding his bike home after his volunteer work and a coyote crossed the road just yards in front of him. As he rode by he turned and looked behind. There went the coyote back to the other side of the road...with a squirrel in his mouth!

Tonight we sleep beneath a brand new comforter that is in a nice, new, bright white duvet. I like white to sleep in. And I will make myself have nice dreams. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures...

Saturday

I got my toenails done in my favorite shade of red. I soaked my feets and it felt so good. My son put his feet in too. All the rest of the day was incidental. Son went to a birthday party but I may have offended the hostess by not staying. Hmmmm.

November measure-in 39 7/8"

I had fun at the measure-in today. Several people like Kara, Lacemitts, and Avrilon have new pics up so I put one up too. I need a good new sig pic though. I haven't done one that I especially like since January 2006. That's kind a long space of time there.

This photo (below) shows my trouble spot. Three years ago I thinned out my bangs so they wouldn't be so heavy looking. Glad I did, but they're not as long as the rest of my hair now. As chance would have it this pic shows them pretty clearly at about waist length so you can see what I'm saying. It bugs me sometimes. It's more apparent on this side than the other. It's a bother because there's nothing I can do but wait for it to catch up.



The next one is swinging hair. Got a wee bit of motion in it. I thought 40" would be the bottom of my derrière, but the bottom of the derrière is technically a couple more inches lower. I'm not classic till I get there. I'm almost classic. My big plan is that once I get there, maybe about April, I'm going to trim for a couple years and stay there. I think. Actually, I'm getting a trim in March because that's when we're leaving and going to San Diego and I have to see my trusty barber, Ivan. I won't let anyone else trim my ends. I crave a trim right now, but I will wait. My ends are not bad. I oil them regularly, but I sure do like fresh cut ends. They're soooo purrrfect.

Improv, and I am breathless

I had tribal class tonight from 6:00 to 7:00pm. I wore my Melodia pants for the first time. These are the coolest belly dance pants with enormous bell bottoms and mine has a triangular sewn-on sash. Over them I added my tribal scarf with two rows of awesome fringe. Wore my hair down in a half-up. Got to class (it's in downtown) and there were so many trick-or-treaters going by that my teacher chirped, "Let's do improv and solos outside on the corner tonight!" Whuh? I was the only student who showed up for class. I've danced in front of an audience a handful of times over the years, always as a student, and never improv. Yiiiipes!

But courageous was I. I said, "Uhhhhhhhhhh, okay." And she and I danced together. ...To songs I have never heard.

...I was not that bad. She's very talented, but I didn't shame myself at least. I didn't do anything amazing or memorable, but I think I held my own passably. I was so, so nervous and it caused me to sweat so much that I built up a powerful case of underarm stink by the end of the evening. Fear does that! I don't usually sweat very much and when I got the shocking sniff that was me, I was so self-conscious I kept my arms down for the rest of class. Yeah, belly dancing with arms down. Haha! Fortunately the offensive odor didn't come on till about 8:00pm, so it was just our class, the second class, inside the studio by then. I sure hope no one noticed.

A friend came by and watched us dance for a bit and later after practice he and his wife dropped our son off and he told me I danced nice. I said, "You saw me? When?" And he said they were right in front of me and took a bunch of pictures. He said, "Didn't you see us?" He was really surprised I didn't, and I was too, but I tell you I did not see them! Evidently I was so nervous that I looked right at them and never saw them. Isn't that crazy? Nerves. They're funny, aren't they. Actually, it's probably a good thing I couldn't see them because who knows what could have transpired then. I might have tripped or something really lame.

I didn't take my dance sandals with me, so I danced barefoot on the sidewalk. Stubbed my next to the pinkie toe. It was bleeding a teensy bit. I told my teacher I should not do any more spins or turns.

When I got home I thanked the Lord for a body that operates efficiently (fairly so, we'll say), that takes me where I want, that healed well after I tried to destroy it, and even looks nice to boot. I saw people smile as we danced, women and children and men, and I smiled back. The crowd waxed and waned. The littlest kids were darling in their costumes and we ran out of candy in just one hour. A few guys in pick-up trucks may have hurt their necks as they drove by. The hour flew by. It makes me want to try harder.

I sat here so long thinking of what to type next that I noticed my keyboard actually says Q W E R T Y on the top left. Gosh, I'm so deep. I thought qwerty was merely a crazy word invented to describe the crazy arrangement of the letters on a keyboard. I didn't realize my keyboard actually spells out qwerty. Such a good word for Scrabble, isn't it. 'Luxury' is my favorite word for hangman.

Boy howdy, our son went out with family friends and scored such a load of candy that it'll last him clean through February. He was ebullient. He dressed up as the character of Jughead from Archie comics.

I got to look up at the New Mexico sky as I danced. I did snake arms down low then to my sides and worked them all the way up as high as I could. With my breath I did control and release, (yes, my brain was working partially, albeit on cruise control) and I swayed my arms to and fro with a small measure of grace. Well, with all the grace I could muster...like the leaves at the very top of a tree. If you are close up to me you can see my hands tremble slightly and steadily. With my hips I did a slow Maya, side to side. Smooth, relaxing, and hypnotic, I hope. It's one of my best moves. Both times I've belly danced in public I've been able to look up and see the sky. The first time was a night sky with hundreds of bright stars, and tonight was sunset with a line of pink orange on the horizon. It was good.

I am breathless.

I want to do it again.

A Psalm I like

Psalm 149:3
Let them praise his name in the dance: let them sing praises unto him with the timbrel and harp.

I found this tonight. Yeah, like I'm the first one to find it.

And I think to begin and finish with 'Selah' is ideal. 'Selah' in Hebrew means to meditate, or be silent and pray. Only in silence can I hear His still small voice. I like to shout sometimes too. It's a powerful outward affirmation. Sometime tomorrow I'm going to do a shout. :)

Hmmm

I had a bun photo that was getting too many visitors. Kinda weird. So I deleted it.

I forgot

I forgot to pray at a certain time yesterday. We were gone all day and I didn't switch on my computer till we came home. My reminders are there. How could I forget? How could I forget. How could I forget. I feel so bad. I prayed before and after, but I wanted to pray during. Instead, I was at the mall thinking about which color leggings to buy, pink or orange. I thought about myself all day. I don't know why. Usually I pray for someone, somebody, at some point during the day. It just happens. And I think of one, so I think of another. How could I have had such an empty prayer day all day. What am I made of. What happened with my mind. This is the worst prayer time incident ever. I could just cry. I already did. Sigh. It didn't help.

Photos

A small selection of pics I took last summer. I thought none of them very good at the time. I think they're kind of good tonight.

He is scratching his chin on the fence post and I thought it was the funniest thing! He was a friendly horse and I wasn't afraid of him.


A cropduster. Photo taken through our windshield. The plane flew right in front of us and was our bit of excitement for the day. I think he was showing off!


You'd never guess this peaceful setting is directly across the street from a bustling KOA Kampground in the great state of New York. Although, we are against turnpikes.


One day a dragonfly sat down beside me.


Taken with my little camera (not my big one I mean), this was the most spectacular sunset of our entire stay at Devils Tower, Wyoming. I had not seen clouds like these before. They were almost like inside out clouds or something. I thought they were rather ominous looking. See the sign next to the road. That's actually a turnout and the whole area is the prairie dog town. I spent many hours right here along this road. I went in the cool of the morning and again in late afternoon. Midday was sweltering, boiling, burning hot.

Transferring data and sword dancing

I'm transferring photos to CD so my husband can have this laptop. I don't like this job. I hate it. It's administrative - keeping organized and what not. On the up side, with some time separating me from the moment I took the photos I have a fresher eye to divvy up the keepers from the not keepers.

I've been real sleepy this week-end.

Did you see the glorious moonrise on Friday night? It was lovely. Its light reflected off of the lake so prettily. And today there were a lot of sailboats on the lake.

On Friday night I was flyin' after bellydance. No one else came to intermediate class which meant basically, I had my own one-on-one dance class! I told my teacher I have long wanted to learn sword dancing as a specialty and she said, "I have my sword in the car. I'll go get it." Whoa! I had so much fun. I danced with it balanced on my head. When you get better you can balance it on your tummy and your chest too. You need to have excellent control over your isolations, and I do. Your head must remain quite still whilest the rest of you dances. And you dance slooow. That's just my speed. lol! I can shimmy with it on my head too though!

So she gave me lots of pointers and I did it four or five times. She showed me how when you enter the stage you walk in a circle to claim your space and you should think of it as an opalescent bubble and you own it. I decided to make my bubble glowing magenta in my mind, but I didn't tell her that. She said it's important to do this so you aren't distracted by any negative energy from the audience and so people know they aren't allowed in your space while you dance. An example of negative energy is when one time my other dance teacher was up to dance. Right before her music started there was some raucous laughter in the restaurant and someone made a loud comment. Now maybe they were talking about something else completely, but I think they were being mean. This could be hard on a dancer.

Okay. The other thing is, respect the sword. They aren't sharp, but they can be heavy and they're still dangerous. You won't be wanting to drop it on your toe or anybody else's toe. It's a prop but you must give it respect and be very showy to make the audience think it's rather dangerous and build up the suspense. Do some flourishes with it, etcetera. Don't just walk up to it and plop it atop your head, um, like I did the first time. You can use some music up just getting the mood set. If you've seen sword dancing it's often done with a turban on the head. Dancers know this way is easier because you can fit the sword in a crease of the fabric. It still requires good balance but the turban provides a bit of confidence. If you're outside even a wind can move the sword. We have a fan in the studio and I noticed it moved my sword. I told my teacher I intended to do it with a turban and she said I ought to practice with it just on my head and that if I can do it just on my head, on my hair, it is known to be more difficult and thus, more impressive to other dancers. Well, naturally a dancer wants to impress other dancers. Ha!

I'm so out of shape. I need more stamina. I rode my bike a couple miles today and I was pooped. Sheesh.

Here is a YouTube example of a sword dance. This one is beautiful in its simplicity. There's another vid of a girl who does floorwork, but I'll put it up another time. In practice, I was able to get down to my knees but couldn't quite get up without the sword tipping. These ladies are Irish. Yeah man, bellydance is in Ireland! My costume is tribal as theirs are, but mine does not show any tummy. You can be covered and still be, I think, exceedingly beautiful. The costume is exceedingly beautiful, I mean.

Back to work

My sis is back to work today. The schools are out until Monday though, so the boyzzz are home.

Son found his hat. It was in the back of the Polaris from when he and my husband were doing park maintenance. This hat is irreplaceable. It's the Jughead hat. I was fit to be tied because they both thought it was lost at the school. I phoned the school and they said it was not found. Husband wanted me to talk to the teacher again and ask her to check with all the parents to see if the hat had been taken home...inadvertently. I didn't want to do that - the teacher is strung so tight. She's got her panties in a wad every time I've spoken to her (three times), so I asked my husband to speak to her. He said okay, but doesn't have to now. Whenever I talked with her and the pastor was with us she was so upbeat, but when I speak to her by myself she is not helpful. She's a good teacher I think and our son likes her a lot. He did tell me that she answered her cell phone during class time and was gone so long on the phone that the science experiment failed. (We are against cell phones in public places.) Son has asked for a cell phone scrambler for Christmas so people's phones won't ring during church or in restaurants. lol! I hate cell phones. People are attached to them as if they're intravenous nourishment. At reading time our son answered a question about the book they're doing for read aloud and the teacher was shocked that he knew the book and could participate in discussion. It's a classic for goodness sakes.

Flannel Sheets

We put flannel sheets on the beds today!

My family in San Diego has been fine through the fire. The highest winds are diminishing now or by tomorrow. There are still winds fanning the fires though. The magnitude of the fire is almost unimaginable. It's been nervewracking watching the online news all day and keeping an eye on my email. I'm not complaining though. This is one of those times when the news media is at its best.

Got my bead shipment and I'm really pleased with them. I ordered from Artbeads.com because they offer free shipping and no minimum purchase. The beads totally look in real life like they do on my computer. "Shazaam!" as Uncle Jim says. This means I can order seed beads from them with confidence. One thing wrong though. I bought 36 4mm fire opal bicone Swarovskis and one is garnet. Bummer. I will write Artbeads and see what they say. I don't think I'll do the parrots yet because I really don't like the translucent pink beads. They're pretty, but not right for the design. I did two rows on the serpent earrings tonight. My base row gave me fits, but I got past it.

Friday night I'm to do a freestyle solo dance in belly dance. I'm nervous. I'm putting together some choreography comprised of steps and moves I like and do well, but I'm not sure which song to use. I have to make a pick by tomorrow. Yeah, I know it's "free" style but I'm afraid I'll go frenetic, so I'm putting together some tried and true steps so I won't flake out or do a Marie Osmond in front of everybody.

Folks still home

She said some places said they should evacuate and others didn't include them (their area), so they're staying. Can't see any fire, cell phones are working, and they still have power. She said the wind is really bad. Her tomater plants are all dead - dried out and beaten by the winds.

I phoned

My dad's taking the '71 Chevy Corvette to a friend's house just in case of evacuation. He doesn't think they'll be evacuated, but just in case, he says. He's a car guy. Thing is, I don't think his '53 Buick is refurbished enough to drive it anywhere. That's his current baby.

They're going to Aunt Dennie's if there's an evacuation. Said people are calling him every five minutes while he's trying to get out of the house to move the cars!

They'll email me, if possible, if they have to go.

Fires

We're keeping an eye on signonsandiego.com. My dad and his wife have a house in the small community of Alpine. Harbison Canyon, just five miles to the southwest, was evacuated. Hwy. 8 is closed from Alpine and to the east to all trucks and high profile vehicles.

And Ramona is burning - 10 miles to the north.

Welp, we've got a fever here

His temperature is 103.5. He slept for two hours this afternoon and is lying on the sofa drifting off again. I'm going to make him some chicken soup when my husband gets back with the ingredients.

My bead shipment didn't come in. I called and they'll send a new shipment if it doesn't get here by the 26th. I don't think it's lost though. I think it's just slow.

Last Thursday I went into the nursery at the private school to help with the babies since our son was in a class. I sat in the sanctuary area and I heard a baby crying for so long I could not bear it any longer. I held the one that was crying. She was teething they said and had a sensitive tummy. She was happy being held, but I could only stay 15 minutes and I was sorry to leave her. She cried as soon as I set her down. Then they all started crying again! I did ask one young woman to pick up a baby in a baby seat. Each time the baby nodded off she'd wake up because her lungs would get squashed when she tipped over. The childcare worker was cleaning a cupboard. Really, the cupboard can wait. The girl explained she needed to clean it and I just nodded. I went in the next day, but all babies appeared content and the young women didn't need an extra set of hands.

It felt odd to me giving gentle direction to the childcare workers, and moreso that they followed through without question. It's not my job to be in the nursery. They didn't even know me. It must be my age and a confidence that I didn't own when I was younger. I think it's the grey hair. I'm not bossy. Never have been, never will be. But I could see what needed to be done. When did I become so soft hearted for babies? It seems changes in my life occur so gradually that I cannot see it. It just suddenly 'is.'

And last week I sat in the sanctuary and prayed while our son was in his class. He goes to science lab on Thursdays and art class on Fridays. In the quiet I could hear the little kids next door in the childcare room. These were not infants but older, I don't know what age because I couldn't see them. One was saying "I want my mommy, I want my mommy, I want my mommy." He was upset for quite a while and the childcare person was not too happy with his behavior whatever he had been doing. I felt bad and sad. I'm grateful to be an at-home mom. I hope my future grandchildren will have at-home mothers.

Monday

Where did the week-end go? And, pray tell, on Friday why did I think a bean burrito was a good idea 90 minutes before a dance class???

Son is tearful today because his hat is lost. We cannot find it. We think it's somewhere in the trailer, but have not been able to locate it. He is unusually attached to that Jughead hat. I'm going lightly on the hsing today because I do not have his full attention. I think he's a little sick too. I think he's slightly feverish which is making him more emotional.

Last night I started my parrot earrings. I'm a little disappointed with the pink beads though. They're actually translucent, not opaque. It's tricky learning the finer points of bead selection. They looked opaque in the tube because they're all bunched together. I decided to go ahead and start the pattern even though the pinks aren't what I planned. Maybe it will look nice anyway? My shipment for supplies to make the serpent earrings might be in today. My husband is going to check the post office for me this afternoon.

My work-out schedule is coming together nicely. Maybe I'll make something of myself this winter. On Wednesdays I'm in an American Tribal Style class from 6-7pm. I haven't done the first class yet, but I'm sure to enjoy it. And same night from 7:30-8pm is beginning belly dance. My friend says she's going this week. I went on Friday to try it out and it's very beginning, so she'll really like it I think. And wonder of wonders, the teacher invited me to take the intermediate/advanced class (I'm intermediate) on Fridays and I don't have to pay. She asked me to stay and I said, no, I can't pay for three classes and she said, "That's okay. I want you to stay. We need you." Hmmm. I don't know about that, but I say hooray! So Wed., Thurs., and Fri. I'm all set right here in town. If we drive to Cruces on Mondays I dance from 5-7pm there.

My son is so weepy. I have to go comfort him.

A bee

I opened the screen door to let a fly fly out and a bee flew in. Sheesh.

Dance class at 5:30pm so I hafta git ready. I think I'll eat a fideo and bean burrito, but I better do it now.

Today the pastor at the private school asked me to think about teaching geography to the upper grades next year. She said they'd make arrangements for our son to attend class while I was there. We'd get free tuition too, I think. Next year though - that's eons away. I do like to teach but I have only taught my own, as in one.

Out my window

I look out my window.

There is a man walking his cat.

I'm not kidding.

A day

All day long I felt blah, but we had a potluck to go to so I had to clean up and get ready to go. Turned out we had a good time. Actually, we always have a good time at our ranger's house. He and his wife are very social and sociable and we've grown very fond of them. My husband made deviled eggs and Mexican dip with chips. People always eat up all the deviled eggs! I met people that I liked. Who, me, like people? I did. It's true.

I'm taking my ranger's wife to a beginning belly dance class next week. I hope it's a good teacher, a good class, and that she'll enjoy it.

Shoot. The showers are far from luxurious here and so all the olive oil didn't come out of my ends. Boo. Now I have stringy ends and clean hair. That's no good. No good a'tall. Guess I'll just figure it's well moisturized and bear it. The 39 m.p.h. winds dried it very fast though.

There's a reason why I don't feel so good. I have a big cold sore. Herpes is what it is. Boo. The down side is half my face sorta hurts because of it and it makes me feel grumpy all day long. The up side is it's inside my nose so no one can see it. Well, it better than a big, ugly, scab on my lip. That's the silver lining on my storm cloud of the day.

A day

It was a full day today. After school I raced to get ready for class and we left at 3:50pm. Shoulda left at 3:30pm. But I got there a little after five so that's good time. Dance went real well. This teacher is certified in Egyptian dance and she's going to Cairo for a month long workshop of classes with famous dancers in Egypt. Not bad, not bad! I'm finally getting into some kind of shape and I felt better, not so crickety.

After class we went to Denny's for din-din and I felt like a million bucks. I don't know what it was, but as I walked through the restaurant in my jeans over my leotard, I felt like I had really long legs. Yeah, I felt like I was 5'10" or something. When my husband sees a pretty girl who's tall he says in his low voice, "There's a tall drink of water." Hmmm, I could never be called a smooth talker, but I can be a smooth walker. 'Fraid I'm only 5'2" though, so it might have been all my own imaginings. But I would like to be tall someday. I'll put it on my Christmas list.

I've had two good hair days. Wore it up in a pony yesterday and it was all straight and purty like a waterfall. And tonight I wore it up in a pretty bun, one of the kind I probably won't be able to duplicate. Oiled my ends because I'll probably worsh it mañana.

Saw Ivan the other day when our son got a haircut and I told him to pencil me in for March (for a trim). He gave me some good info on how to do a better haircut on my husband. People always think my husband is an ex-Marine because I give him a Marine haircut. I like Marines and their hair but actually it's just the only style I know how to do. Anywho, my husband said Ivan likes me. I said, "Whuh? How do you know?" And he said Ivan sure smiles a lot when I'm there. Heh. That Ivan. I do like him but I can't see that he gives me a thought. He was real sad because his horse ate locoweed and got sick. I guess if a horse eats that stuff, a lot of it, he'll never be the same. The horse recovered but forgot everything Ivan taught him. Ivan has a ranch you know. So he had to sell his horse. Ivan owned him for eleven years and took the loss pretty hard. He's an honest man, which makes me like him, so he told the people what had happened and they still wanted to buy him. He got $700.00 for the horse, but it was worth $3,000 before the locoweed.

I finished my second pair of peacock earrings. I like them so much. If I lie in bed and I can't go to sleep, I just think of my peacock earrings till I drop off. Well, simple minds they say. I ordered stuff to make a new design - serpent earrings. I will see how it is ordering beads online. I'm curious to see if the colors I picked really do go together and whether they resemble what I saw online. It's tough because the colors you see all depend on your monitor's settings. And it's all about color when you're beading.

Speaking of which, we're supposed to get our new monitor tomorrow. I have to still transfer millions of photos, plus my various and sundry programs from this laptop to CD. The desktop will be mine and my husband will get this one. I'm not too very much looking forward to getting set up on the new machine. I hope I can find my Photoshop CD. Uh-oh. Gettin' a crick in my neck thinking about transferring everything...

I want something back

The whites of my eyes.

I wake up, they're red. I got to sleep, they're red. I use Visine to get the red out before I put on eye make-up, and they're pink. It just isn't fair.

Quail, and other birds

I put seed and water out every evening and sometimes in the morning too. Today there was an unusual bird. He was black with an orange chest and a white line on his wings. He was something. And I also saw a bird of prey, a hawk, I think. He was brown and white and of a good size. The quail wouldn't come and eat this evening, so I think the hawk was lurking nearby. I saw him fly down behind a bush across the street.

Ballet went well. It's not terribly challenging, but I worked up a sweat. One of the ladies has so much trouble with the choreography, but she's a trooper. I admire her for that. We have 1/3 of a dance done. No class next week though. Bummerinksi. I wrote down the steps so I don't forget it. Teacher was helping the other students and giving them encouragement and she said, "Liliana is learning more here than anywhere she's ever been." And she winked at me. Ha! That was sweet.

Hmmm. I am content.

Someone I know left today. She up and quit her job - a good job. I don't know her personally, but I think her personal life has caused her to quit her job. I am sorry for that. The law of seed and harvest applies everywhere in our lives. I think she chose men badly. I think a small town makes it worse. I like a small town and I am tired of the city, but each has its drawbacks. Each can drive a person mad.

A nice day

I finished the body on a peacock earring and tomorrow I'll bead the tail, then I'll have a second set done. Yay! I think I have all the beads I need to start a parrot set. I can't believe I finished the body in one night. I'm getting faster because it's my fourth one.

There was a rainstorm today replete with rainbow, lightning, thunder, and great cloudery, or should I say cloudification. It put off a beautiful golden light at dusk and we watched the color change from peach to magenta. Everyone in the loop came out of their RVs and people were walking around oohing and aahhing and taking pictures.

Son scored 88% on his history test over the First Americans. I am so proud of him. Now we're learning about the Vikings. I was taught in school that the Pilgrims were the first white people to hit America, but they weren't. There's evidence that the Vikings were here in about 900 or 1000 A.D. according to carbon dating.

Hair dilemma. My husband commented the other day that my hair smelled nice, but I had used that really harsh Clairol Shimmerlights to brighten grey. It's got some serious scent that lasts for days. It makes my ends way dried out though. Tomorrow I'm thinking I'll shampoo with Giovanni and try using the Shimmerlights creme rinse on my head just for the fragrance, then use a more moisturizing creme rinse, Giovanni, on the rest. I wonder if the Shimmerlights creme rinse will dry out my hair?

I ordered two books from Amazon on Sunday and look forward to getting them. They ought to be here by Friday. I got the The Reagan Diaries and The Forgotten Ways: Reactivating the Missional Church. DHL is delivering them. Yesterday the tracking information showed they were in Kansas City. Great, I thought. But I checked today and they're in Ohio. Whuh?

Day in and a day out

I had a pretty unremarkable day today. There's really not even anything to blog. I thought, I have to come up with something. Since when do I have nothing to blog?

I didn't go to Ladies Bible Study tonight. I will ask when the videos will be over and maybe they'll be doing a good, normal book and I'll go back. I don't know really.

The other day I threw away my yellow dress that I made. I've had it for three years and I always put it on after I go to the campground shower because that way my good clothes don't touch the wet cement and I don't have to fight with putting on a bunch of garments. Easy on, easy off, you know. Plus it's easier when you're damp and you don't have a bathroom suite or even your own bathroom to dawdle. I say bathroom like bAAHthroom as if I'm British. Sounds quite fancier that way.

And it was a good, worthy dress I'll say. When we first arrived to New Mexico I was so content in my yellow dress that I didn't take it off for four days. I could wake up in the morning and look just chipper and sharp pressed as anything in that dress. It never looked like I slept in it. But one morning I popped up out of bed, all happy and pre-dressed (hair a little messy, but...) and my husband said, "Will you please change out of that dress today. I'm getting embarrassed. You've worn it since we got here." Well, blow me down. Luckily, it didn't hurt my feelings at all. Here's a picture of the dress in July 2005.

So I thought it had had its time and decided to replace it. I bought a spaghetti strap dress with elasticized bodice and a pinkish palm tree pattern. But I found it doesn't fit quite right. The straps are too long. I can fix that, but the dress hangs kind of potato sackie in a bad way. It's possible I made a tactical error in throwing away my trusty yellow dress. Well, yellow green because the yellow got tinged with green from the leaves on the flowers in the print, so it was sort of a pukie yellow green, not quite a chartreuse.

Maybe I will try to make a new one.

Slain in the Spirit

I have never felt convicted to fall down at an alter call (Slain in the Spirit) or to speak in tongues (glossolalia). I suppose it was easy for me to overlook all last year since the speaking in tongues at church was neither loud, nor long. I figured if people around me felt convicted to do so, fine, and if the pastor did it fine, it didn't really affect me.

Last week I went to Ladies Bible Study and they're studying "Randy Clark's School of Healing and Impartation" that night. Impartation is when someone supernaturally receives a word, thought, feeling, vision about someone else's health. They share their word, thought, feeling, vision given to them through the Holy Spirit and if you think it's you they're talking about, you say so. If you get healed you, in the audience, wave one or two arms depending upon how healed you feel, then the person up front who gave the word has an idea whether or not their Holy Spirit imparted word, thought, feeling, vision affected someone. Randy Clark says when you pray for someone far away you never know if the prayer has any effect. What a safe way to pray, he says. I want to say for the record, that I don't see it that way at all.

We ladies tried it in our own small group and suffice to say while I had reservations about it, at the same time it was a heady experience. Hmmmm. Let me see what phrase comes to my mind right now. Could it be "instant gratification?" And as I watched the video I was thinking it reminded me of E.S.T. Remember EST back in the mid-80s? I went to one meeting and they told you to go get $400.00 and sign up. No, they said sign up for $400.00 then use the E.S.T. power to attract that money to yourself! They'll just take you to court if you don't actually pay. It was really big at the time. I told my friend forget it. I was single and raising my son by myself and no amount of E.S.T. power was going to attract $400.00 to me. I wish.

Then, last Sunday there was guest speaker, a pastor from Texas, of whom also is quite the real estate mogul. His church has grown, his prayers for abundant housing in the town answered, and the land God told him to purchase has resold for multi-millions. He gave an alter call for anyone to come up who wants to experience financial prosperity such as he has. This means he says a prayer over everyone and confers, anoints, or imparts, potential $$$ success upon those believers. I was one of the few who didn't go up to get some. Surely, I do not wish to be poor, but to have enough is all I need. I think one can flourish without a big bank account. I am not against immense economic success for anyone. The pastor can have a fleet of Hummers for all I care, and if he's worked for it he deserves it. It's just not one of the things I seek.

My reservations built up till finally I had to write my people and get some input. A person needs some balance, a solid place from which to branch out. I was lost for a minute, but nobody let me down. I must be very rich with Christian women friends. And next I hunkered down with my Bible.

Well, I have to write more later. My eyes are killing me. We drove to Cruces today and we were gone from 3:15pm till 9:30pm. The upshot is I'm afraid I gotta change churches. I like it there though and I've grown so much there. 'Tis sad I should have to leave. Maybe they're changing direction now and that's why none of this came up to me last year. Sigh. I still love Jesus and I like being a Christian. The religion part proves to be a bit thorny however.

The stars

Tonight I get to sleep under the beautiful stars. It gives me time to think.

Religion is very big. You have to keep vigilant. Ask the questions. Get the answers. I almost got drowned by the World Wide Web.

I'm off to my cot and to think about charismatics and 'charismania' and gifts and. There's a period after and.

And to think about how lucky I am to have my online girlfriends. They smooth the upsettedness out of my everyday days. They help me think straight. Fill me up with love. That's a good deal for a cranky old Lil.

Caution!

Today my husband said, "Liliana, you are a caution."

I like that. I am a caution!

And I found out I made the cut. I go to sleep happy. :) :) :)

Impartation

That's what they studied at the Ladies Bible Study and Prayer Group last night. I am not sure what to think. I've read some about it online but I can read opinions about what everyone thinks till I'm blue in the face. It doesn't really help me. So I'm waiting to see what my solid Christian homegirls say about it. Them, I trust.

The teaching was a video of Randy Clark and his School of Healing and Impartation. It's for revival and to increase faith. It's not prophesy.

Did I experience something or did I experience nothing. Is it real and true and from God, the Holy Spirit, or is it fake and from people. Not that the people are bad, but they are misguided.

"He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed." Prov13:20

A decision will not be made until I hear back from my people!

This and that

October got here in a hurry. I didn't even realize it. I've gotta go take a shower for ladies' prayer group tonight. Sunday was awful. We moved to our winter site, only two loops away, but it didn't go well and the weather was hot so we had to do our move in the sun. My face was really, really red and then I felt punky the following day. I don't think I sweat like I'm supposed to anymore or something. For reals, my face was bright red, but dry as a bone. Thought I might barf and this guy was talking at me and I couldn't keep up any conversation. I opted to be politely attentive, but my eyeballs might have rolled up to the back of my head. Sometimes seniors just don't notice if you don't feel well.

I wonder what the ladies are doing for their book study.

School went well today. Dance went well last night. I feel guilty my husband is driving me, but my body and my mind like to dance. It makes me a better wife. I'll have to think about it. My husband set up a strap for me on the picnic table so I can do back-ups. I thought of it and asked him to and he had a perfect strap. You know, you lay on the table with your waist hanging off the edge and then go up and down like sit-ups but it's back-ups? It's good for your back. It used to be one of my favorite stops on a weight training circuit when I did weights in 1967 (aw, 1982). I figured why not do it on the picnic table.

It was good to see Avrilon. She's going to have llamas someday. Or was it yaks? No, it was llamas, I think.

39 3/8"

I have to squeeze my eyes shut and think real hard to make my hair grow one more eighth of an inch by the 1st. I don't think I'm gonna make it. I'm wearing it in a sock bun tomorrow.

I painted my toenails pink tonight but they don't feel right. Toenails are supposed to be red. That's what my mom said. Now pink just doesn't feel right.

Our son made me proud today.

A new computer!

We're getting a new Dell desktop! My husband ordered it and I didn't even know. I was jumping for joy in the trailer and we were rocking like a ship on the high seas! Not really, but I wanted to use a simile from grammar today. But I was jumping up and down!

The homeschooling seems to be taking more out of me this year. I don't mind, but I am tired at night and busier during the daytime.

Tonight I was consumed by a nine page article about the Little Rock Nine. There's an article at Vanity Fair called "Through a Lens, Darkly" and I read all of it. There's a photo slideshow at the end. The article contains far more details about it than I've ever read before.

How about that Harvest Moon tonight!?

This morning is the first day in three weeks I woke up and my body was not sore anywhere. Yay! I'm getting this old bod in shape. I have a bit of extra weight about the middle. Hmmm. Popcorn at night is probably not helping. Tonight we ate popcorn and watched Treasure Island by Walt Disney. We are enamoured of the old movies. I think they teach excellent lessons about people. Last night we watched 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Poor Captain Nemo. He was a brainiac, but consumed by hatred. (A comma belongs after a conjunction such as and, or, but. I was never sure about it, but as of last week I am sure. I learned it our fifth grade grammer lesson.) They just don't make movies like they used to.

Son drank milk with his lunch today. I have always liked milk. No, I love milk. There's nothing better than to gulp down ice cold milk with your dinner, or with a brownie, or a Hostess cupcake. When I was a child we only got one Dixie cup full of milk and no more. My sister and I would fight over which cup was filled the highest and who got the pink paper cup. My mom had to fill them with scientific precision or all manners of trouble broke out. At Dad's house we could have as much milk as we wanted. What luxury. When I was six I used to think if I took a drink, then ignored my milk, a fairy might come and refill my cup. I would imagine it was fuller than it was before! Yeah, I can psyche myself out. Well, my son is not crazy about milk. What is up with that? I think he has plenty so it's not special. Usually I tell him he's gotta have some milk with lunch and he complains and frets about drinking it - which is misery. So I quit telling him and instead today I asked him if he wanted some. He said yes. Kids. Well, kid. He makes me crazy.

My new dancewear is not scheduled for delivery till Friday. I need it tomorrow. Boo.

At the bellydance class Tuesday night I had a good time. It was not so much a class as it was a group of women practicing for the upcoming Renaissance Faire. Their choreography was great fun. It was not difficult so I caught on to all except one troublesome count of eight. I was always off for some reason. I had an extra step in it somewhere. A lady was real nice and complimented my hair. I wore it down and pulled it up into a pony. I've realized that people remember me if my hair's down. If it's up, no one remembers me. How do I know? Well. Let me say this about that. I wear my hair up to church. I attended last year from September through March and this year again since end of August. Last Sunday I wore it down. I sit in the same area every week. Same me, same area. One of the musicians came up to me and shook my hand and said he's never seen me before. WHAT! Why I oughta! I should be insulted. But oh well. Such is life. I'm very plain. I already know this. I'm calm.

Today

I stayed up too late last night and now I have a little headache today. Boo.

We're driving to Cruces this evening and I'm going to try out another middle eastern dance class with a different teacher. This one only requires a donation, sounds like a lot more students are involved, and sword, cane, veil, and fan dancing are taught as well. I would like to specialize in sword dancing someday. Oh. They have normal mirrors on the wall too.

New. Pink. Gloves.

I have new Playtex dishwashing gloves and they're bright pink! I like them a lot. They're much prettier than yellow which is the color Playtex gloves usually are. They used to be dark blue. But then again, I think the dark blue might be the heavy duty style. Pink is good. I like purple, but I wouldn't want purple because those remind me of the hospital and I don't want to think about the hospital when I'm doing dishes. Pink makes me almost happy to do dishes!

I bought a new top today. It's by L.E.I. and it's one of those kind that looks like you're wearing a long sleeved tee shirt underneath the short sleeved tee shirt, but really it's only one shirt. It's a two in one. Can't believe I found something semi-cute right here in town.

Thought it was Jesus, but it was my cell phone

I awoke in the middle of the night! There was a bright white light in my bedroom emanating from corner of the little bookcase! I peered in its direction. I propped myself up on my elbow and watched it, all bleary eyed. It was flashing too. I heard it make a pretty sound, twice. I felt happy. I thought it was Jesus, comin' to get me! Maybe he just decided to use an electronic musical sound instead of a trumpet. Then I dropped down to my pillow and conked out again.

I've been thinking about Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, the abomination of desolation, the rapture, and the tribulation. I've been reading Matthew 24.

In the morning I woke up and thought about that dream and realized we're still here, and remembered - I put that stinkin' cell phone my husband bought for me over there in the corner on top of the books. It must have burped in the night or something. Or maybe I got a wrong number. WHAT a disappointment!

But it gives us more time and that's good. You can doubt and do without or you can believe and receive. Sometimes I'm so receiving I'm about to burst. It's so weird how if you ask the Lord to reveal Himself to you, He will. My husband says, "Liliana. It's weird? Is that the best you can do?" And I said, hmmm, well I guess I should better say it's prophetic. Right?" And he said, "right."

The Beauty of Homeschooling

I've been tired every night, but the week is over now and it was a groundbreaking week.

Determined to do all subjects weekly, and for me that means being sure to include history and science, I set forth to deliver fifth grade to our son. I found last year that I could not do all the subjects and still get reading, writing, and arithmetic done to my satisfaction so I was very spotty with the history and did basically, what amounts to no science. I decided that the early years up to grade four would focus on the Three R's because with a solid foundation in the Three R's a kid can fly where ever he wants when he's ready. Thing is, in writing I was failing him. I tried and tried teaching him writing, yet he would not write. He would write one or two sentences under penalty of death, but that made home life unbearable and the sentences were not very good anyway. Still, I continued to teach grammar, vocabulary, printing, cursive, and spelling every day, little by little. He did very well in grammar and vocabulary, quite well in spelling, okay in printing, and awful in cursive. But could I get him to put it all together, as in write something? No.

Beginning this school year (what, one week ago?) I decided to put on a new hat and be positive and forge ahead. I instituted a major change. I shortened language arts lessons and I used a timer. I set it to 20 minutes each for spelling, grammar, and vocabulary. Lo and behold, he finished every assignment within the time limit - quality work, correct and legible, and with a good attitude. He even finished his reading assignments in the allotted time limit. That was icing on the cake. On Monday I was bowled over. On Tuesday I was pleased. On Wednesday I was expecting his old ways to return. On Thursday he wrote a complete story summary. My heart was singing! On Friday, another good day. He successfully finished all of his assignments for the week.

There's been a change in him. My husband and I think he's suddenly matured. But we really don't know what to attribute the change to. Today my husband said he's so glad we homeschool because otherwise we'd never be aware of this inward change. My husband teaches the math so he's seeing it too.

When our son was a tot I once saw a third grade homeschooled boy writing a lengthy paper at the laundromat. It made a lasting impression on me and I thought, wow, so that's how it's going to be! Ha! When it didn't happen in third grade or even fourth grade I wondered...was I not a good enough teacher? Am I not inspiring! Can I ever motivate him. Will my child ever write like that? In my frustration I reminded him of the Chinese proverb, Teachers open the door, you enter by yourself. My answer arrived on Thursday when the story summary he wrote was 3/4 of a page long, complete sentences, correct punctuation, all important events included, in proper sequence, and it was, WHAT!, even legible.

I hope it all continues. All the unsureness is wiped away. Little leaves in the wind.

Well, enough of life's epiphanies.  Good night!

2nd day of fifth grade

Amazingly. A second wonderful day. I have my lesson plans finished for tomorrow too. Whew. Purty good.

Hair compliment! The lady next door said her husband saw my hair down the other day and he was surprised by its length. Sunday she saw me walking back from the showers and said, "Oh, your hair is usually up and I didn't realize, it is long!" And she said, "That's neat!" She asked me how long it's been growing and when I got it cut last. I thought it was very sweet of her.

Belly dance class went well. I think I'll go back but I'm not 100% sure. I'm a little uneasy with driving an hour distance by myself. Husband bought me a cell phone today so I can have my own to call him in case of an emergency. I asked a friend if she wants to go with me next week and she gave me a tentative yes. I miss my first teacher, Aziza, very much. No one I've met is as good of a teacher as she. I fear I will never find such a fine teacher again. The gal who teaches in Cruces, she dances well but it's more like learning dance moves from a friend. Technically, she leaves a lot out. It was wonderful to hear the music and shimmy and shake and be completely feminine.

To clarify the difference in style Aziza used to say, "The Lebanese dancer dances like she really doesn't know what she's got. She so innocent and completely unaware of her effect (on man). In contrast, the Egyptian dancer dances like she knows what she's got. But the Turkish dancer dances like she knows what she's got, and she knows how to use it! Haha! My preference is for Lebanese and Turkish and of course above all, American Tribal Style. Egyptian is just okay to me. I don't like the costuming as much. It's too slick.

The class was small and the studio is brand new. They had mirror tiles! Can you imagine dancing with mirrored tiles on the wall. Hmmm, do I want to look at my right shoulder or my left hip, and in the mirror nothing is aligned. My hips are over here, my head is over there, all distorted. I hope they put in some decent mirrors. She did show us some nice floor moves. I haven't got much floor to practice floor moves on but I'll give it a go. She reminded me that almost everything can be done on your knees just like when you're standing up, so I'm going to add that to my practicing at home. It gives you such strong thighs! Just get on your knees lean backwards slightly, and shimmy and/or do snake arms. You'll see. You get tired fast and it hurts good.

Rode my bike three miles. That was my exercise for the day because my lower back was slightly sore from last night.

Came down with a big headache at 12:30am last night. I didn't get up and take Tylenol PM because I was afraid it'd make me feel sluggish in the morning for school so I hoped it would go away by itself. Sorry I was too, because come morning my temples were raging. My husband, this man whom I do not deserve, drove to the store for Tylenol (daytime kind) for me and then he had to rush for his volunteer job at the Visitor's Center. I made him a PB&J real quick. I didn't think Tylenol would work. I always laughed in the face of Tylenol. But guess what. It worked. It was slow but two hours later I was fine. I was happy because I was able to teach and not be a dullard for my son. I would be such a mess without my husband.

Tomorrow I'm going to ask my husband if I can get some new dance gear.

First day of fifth grade

I did it! We got everthing done by 3:00pm: spelling, grammar, vocabulary (20 minutes each), literature (1 hour), history (1 hour), typing practice and multiplication drill (15 minutes altogether). Husband did math with him. Man, I was so organized. Now, can I do it again? That's the question. I have only 179 more days to go.

No time to write much. I found a Middle Eastern class. Only thing is, I live in Podunk and the class is an hour drive from here. I hope it'll be worth it. Gotta go. Takes me an hour to get ready. My husband is driving me so if I continue to go I can drive myself next time. :)

Last cinnamon roll

I'm eating my last one. They don't carry any cinnamon rolls in town.

Yesterday we drove to the chile capital of the world. That's Hatch, New Mexico. We bought 20 pounds of green chiles and watched them get roasted in a big roaster that looked like a bingo ball roller. Came home and peeled them for two hours, ran outta time, so froze the rest. The freezer is packed full!

Our neighbor just came by and gave me a kitchen towel that she knitted the edges very prettily and it goes on the oven and buttons so it stays. Very cute. She apologized for coming by while I'm in my pajamas but I told her not to worry - I wear my pajamas till late (or till afternoon but I tried not to say that!). She got a job in town because she likes to stay busy.

I hafta to get ready for churcharoo now. Somehow, I can start getting ready on time, but still be late.

Friday sweet Friday

I signed up for a ballet class last night. I start next week. They meet once a week. She may add a tap class and then I can go twice a week. After class the instructor and I chatted for an hour. Go me! It's good to talk and interact with people, right. I'm trying hard to get plugged in and connected this year. The only thing still hanging over my head is going to the animal refuge. Once I go there I will officially be a good person.

Finished up the s*x education today. When I started with it, I was heartsick but now that we're finished I'm happy. It went well I think. We wrapped it up with scripture, Romans 12:1.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers in view of God's mercy, to offer you bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship.

Talked about protecting our minds and that all that we have to give back to the Lord is ourselves. Zat's it, so we oughta do our best to make good with what we've got. Talked about twins and AIDS and p*rn*graphy and abstinence and that s*x is God's gift to married people. We covered a lot because fifth grade begins on Monday and I realized my plate is pretty full there. I guess I did a good job. He says he never wants to have sex. Bwa-hahahahha! Yeah, check back with me on that one in five years!

I used the Quizzes for S*x Education I and II tests from this site. I may use the ones on other health topics sometime too.

5th grade coming down the pike

I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off. No, actually I am accomplishing something. We have a couple more s*x ed discussions and I'll be done with that. The first day we did male and female reproductive organs and body parts and the second day we went over puberty and physical changes and next we went over m*nstr*ation. He'll know more than anyone one else on the playground now, boy howdy I tell ya! Of course we looked up the verse about being fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Next I'm doing pregnancy; and lastly p*rn*graphy and critical thinking regarding Hollywood, the media; and the seismic cultural changes occurring in the U.S. I did realize as I was talking, how much my school left out about sexuality. I mean, I'm explaining all I should, but I don't want to explain too much, and as I speak I realize...this was never taught to me. I would tell you what I'm meaning exactly but I'd have to change my PG rating to R, so I leave it to your imagination. I told him to write down one question and fold up the paper and give it to me and his question was...how do twins come together.

Our fifth grade curriculum is online on Saturday so I'll have a couple days to review and prepare. I'm a little worried because at my K12 discussion group I read a thread on the topic of grammar. It started out, "Okay, 5th grade grammar is getting harder!!!!!!" (There were that many exclamation points.) Then, it said a bunch of stuff about complements and direct objects and linking verbs, none of which I understood, and it ended with "Help me!" Yeah, I'm scared! Haha!

It was fun opening the five boxes with all our new curriculum. My son was happiest about vocabulary and history. Does my heart good to hear him say, "Oh boy! History!" I have been feeling badly about not finishing fourth grade history and doing even less in science. Today, I was cheered up though because after I picked him up from his science lab class at the private school he said, "You know, I like it there a lot but I learn more in homeschool." Wow. And he wasn't even trying to give me a compliment.

After I picked him up from science lab class, I dropped by Kim's house and picked up a homeschooler's ID card for this county, so we're official.

My hair is doing nicely and I've been hit by consecutive days of prettiness. I don't know why but it is good.

Books

After dinner in the evenings before everyone disperses for evening activities, I've been reading a chapter from Susan Wise Bauer's The Story of the World. Everyone has enjoyed it. I do have an ulterior motive. It goes over some of the studies we've done so it'll reinforce those events.

I happened to go to the library yesterday. Oh yeah, oh yeah. I got some anatomy books and childbirth and s*xual abstinence books. I planned to do s*x education this year and go into depth, but the timetable has changed and the time is now.

It will be interesting to see how this goes. My husband cracks me up. He says I did such a good job with our eldest son that he'll just let me take care of this one too. "Um, do whatever you did before," he told me. Haha! Thinks he's getting out of it this time? No way! I have to school him a little though. We haven't even gone over the specific ins and outs. I mean we have, but descriptions change based on a child's age, right?

My husband says at the dinner table, "Whatever you do, be sure you use protection." Son says, "Whuh?" and my husband stammered and couldn't say another word. He looks at me with the word "Help" in one eye and "Me" in the other. I did not help him! You ought to have a game plan before you come out with that one. Husband, has no game plan. I do and it's based on biblical principles. 

I wish

Most of all, I wish to be a godly mother. But exactly how? Exactly how.  I'm a good mother, but to be godly is more.

The world knocked on my door today, and entered my home full force via the computer screen. It was invited in inadvertently, innocently.  The enemy was ready, but I was not. I was asleep. Literally and figuratively.

I reject the world and I will not be quiet.  I will not be still.

Proverbs 1:8, "Listen, my child, to what your father teaches you. Don't neglect your mother's teaching. What you learn from them will crown you with grace and clothe you with honor."

I must live up to it.  I cannot fail.

Peacock earrings

Finishing touches finally finished! I inserted size 15 beading needles through the neck of each earring to reinforce them. In low light they're dark yet they glimmer and shimmer when you move! The Swarovski crystals are jet AB2X. The double aurora borealis application turns the jet black into a peacock blue and the facets individually reflect a gold color as well. I was so lucky to find them. The pattern called for clear crystals but I didn't think clear would provide any wow factor. The beads for the body are galvanized dark green and I used purple iris for the wings. The wing pattern shows depending on how the light hits them.

The posts are 24kt gold plate. It's vermeil - which is gold plate over sterling silver applied electrochemically. Gold filled is better quality but for gold plate these weren't cheap. I think gold plate should weather well since they're not rubbing against skin. Hope so anyway. Gold filled, also known as gold rolled (which makes more sense), is more durable. Gold plate is a very thin coating of gold although 24K is a teensy bit heavier than 10 or 12K. Gold filled is not really gold filled, but gold over the outside of some other metal.

Honestly, they are prettier in real life! They individual beads in the body absolutely glitter in the light.

Another day

I just went to FTTS (Face to the Sunshine) and I like to sit here and smile to myself about the things she writes about sometimes.

Today was, meh, just okay. I was disappointed with my son's grade on his history test. Talk to him and he's bright and articulate and a trip to listen to as he relates the events spanning from the American Revolution to the French Revolution, but can I get him to write it down in a cogent paragraph? Please, I'm dyin' here.

Wayne from high school dropped me a line tonight. Get outta town! I'm for reals. Wayne was so cute in junior high and high school. Girls were crazy about him. I think he liked the girls fairly well too. Mwahahaha! I bet he was trouble with a capital T for his parents. In junior high he broke his leg. I think on a minibike or something. And on the first day of school in like seventh grade he wore a brand new, huge, heavy knit pullover sweater. The morning was cool so it was fine but by afternoon temp must have been in the 90s . He was miserable. Why did he wear a big knit sweater? Whattya think he did? He took his sweater off right there in class and there he was in Levis and bare chested. It was math class if memory serves. And he was really cute and all the girls liked him. Like I said, trouble with a capital T!

Once in high school he was talking to me and looking me up and down. There wasn't much to look at but I sure didn't mind him lookin'. He had his arms both up hanging on a tree branch and he was wearing clodhopper shoes. I was looking mostly at his shoes because I remember them so well. Can't remember word one of what he said. Haha! I see him with blue sky behind him just like yesterday. Blue eyes too. High school. Sigh.

My mom wrote me today. A big ol' honkin' email. You have no idea how much she can write. I wanted to poke both my eyes out. Promise to myself, I'm working through this angst and completing it by age 50. I have two years to go. Must get it done. Out of the million words we've exchanged in the past three days she did say one thing that I liked. She said:

You, Liliana, are like an onion, in many layers. Or, to quote Winston Churchill re: Russia, you are "a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma." You are very complex.

That can't be all bad, right? My husband's daughter said I'm an enigma too. I better get my dictionary out since two people have said it now.

Finally, but finally finished my seed bead peacock earrings. I changed the plain ear wire to these vermeil earring posts and now the earrings really rock. I like the look of ear wires but on me I prefer some coverage for my piercing. Because I've worn such heavy earrings my earring holes are stretched a little. Not ideal. I need some plastic surgery. I need some kind of earring hole lift. I need a few other things lifted too. I'll get it all done at the same time. I have to try to photograph them now. I tried when I first finished them and it was hard to get the shine to show and at the same time get no blur what with the beads being so tiny. It's a challenge to get a photo that depicts them as they really appear.

Today

Is tomorrow on its way already? Oh dear.

I have a heat headache

We worked today from 2pm to 6pm and I wore a hat and got to stand in the shade of a tree quite a bit but I still got a headache afterwards. It always comes after I come in from the sun. I guess I've turned into a sun wimp. I almost got one yesterday (we worked 9-12) but I didn't, so I thought today I would fare well also. Didn't. My feets hurt and I'm sticky and I took Excedrin at 6:00pm and I just took a Tylenol PM now. Tylenol PM makes me sleep and I would like to sleep to escape this headache.

Husband bought us Taco Bell after work. I discovered that I like their tostadas.

I had fun directing traffic today. If they had a receipt already, I'd say "Nine two (September 2) - Go on through! Stay to your right! Thaaaank-YOU." And people smiled. And if they had a yearly pass I'd turn my arm in a big clock circle and direct them to the right lane. I had a couple people try to rip me off. Yeah, baby. I ran after one of 'em, told him he has to get in the lane I was directing him to, and buy a day pass. Shoot, he was trying to drive through the entrance and not pay! Can you believe it? He pretended he didn't know what I was talking about but we both knew what he was trying to do. And was he trying to kill me? After running to catch him I got a little light headed walking back to do my traffic directing. I hoped I wouldn't have to run after anyone else. I got him though and I felt good about that. The first time it happened a guy did get clean through and I was hoppin' mad. Told my husband I need a pen and paper to take down the license number of the next driver who tries to rip me off. I can pass the info on to a ranger who will charge them the fee plus a fine if they find him. Sure enough, a guy in a silver car ignored me. He got to the entrance, tried to drive straight through, and was real nasty to the cashier.

Well check this out, it was not his day. All he had to do was pay five bucks, but while he was being hateful, he noticed a sheriff's car sitting just inside the entrance. Silver car driver was suddenly strangely afraid to drive on through and cashier had time to call the rangers. It's howdy-doody time now. Turns out the driver had no license, was driving a stolen car, and had a runaway girl in the car with him. It was a sorry sight seeing them sitting on the curb for 45 minutes. I felt like crying for a bit, said a prayer for them. She had only a bikini bottom on and a shirt and had a real cute figure. Turned out the car was stolen from her own mama and she stole a hundred dollars from home too. Guys were all covered with tats and wearing the big baggy clothes. Souls lost in a lost world. It's an ugly thing - a spider's web. I hope so much it'll change for them.

I had only one lady get nasty with me and it was yesterday. I asked to see her receipt and she was mean. She looked to be about my age too. What's the point of being nasty when all you have to do is show your receipt? I didn't let her git me down though. I said thank-you and waved her through. Guess she was in a hurry to have fun.

Hey, my headache feels a little better.

Tomorrow approaches

Tomorrow I work from 9:00am to noon directing traffic. I hope I don't pass out from the heat!